Shuuhei stood in the doorway for a moment watching her. She sat on her bed, staring at an envelope. "Kana," he called softly. She jumped but looked at him.
"I...um," she took a breath. Surely Shuuhei would understand. "I've carried this with me for almost 5 years. I never knew who to give it to."
Shuuhei walked over and sat on the bed next to her. "What is it?"
"A letter. Part of the healing process is to write letters to those you have wronged." She looked down at the envelope in her hand. "I never thought anyone would read this, but I know now that it was meant for you." She'd known for the past week that it was meant for him. She hadn't been able to find it until that morning.
"For me?"
"I never forgot what you said to anKa... to me." She smiled at him. "It helped get me thought the roughest part."
"Kana," he began.
"You don't have to read the letter, and it is okay if you do. I just wanted you to have it." This was one of the last steps she had to take to close the door to anKa. Giving him the letter and succeeding. She looked up at the clock. "Oh no. I have to go. I'm going to be late." Kana stood up and kissed him quickly and ran out the door.
Shuuhei felt helpless. He hadn't known what to say to her. He looked down at the envelope. Written in the upper corner were the words 'His Letter'. He opened it and pulled out the letter. A photo fell out, and he saw it was the same one he had. Laying the photo aside, he began to read.
You don't know me, but I have wronged you and I'm sorry. My name is Kana, but you knew me as anKa. I have no idea if they ever told me your name. My hair isn't blue, it's pink, and I hate wearing it short. Would you still think of me as pretty if you saw me again?
Making amends with you will be the hardest thing for me to do, but I hope that writing this letter helps with the process I'm going through. I have no idea if I will ever see you again or if I will know you if I do. To me, anKa has died, and she will never again use me. No one will ever use me. My manager used me and then tossed me aside. I was left young, alone and dejected. I made bad choices. It didn't take me long to find that alcohol had a wonderful way of making me feel better. I spent a long time with a drink in my hand. When I was at a party, people would make jokes about how much alcohol I would drink. At first, I laughed with them. I thought they were my friends. I didn't realize they were making fun of me.
It was my hair stylist who opened my eyes. I didn't want to believe her. And it took me a while to see that she was right. When I saw that I had become an alcoholic, I cried. This isn't what I wanted for my life. I called her, and she helped me get the help I needed. I finally understood why my own mother had turned away from me. She hadn't like the alcoholic I'd become. We randomly picked a rehabilitation center in the phone book. I had no idea exactly what I was getting myself into, but I knew it was something I needed.
I thought I had written all the letters I needed to write until I went through the photographs from my last concert. I didn't want to go through them. They brought back memories I didn't want to remember. I'm including our photo with this letter. I know you were probably told you would receive a copy, but I have no idea if you did. I want you to have a copy because while that box was filled with a lot of negative, there was a positive. I remembered what you told me. I remember that you said I was pretty and that you liked my singing. Even now that makes me smile.
For you, I am going to remake myself. For you I'm going to go after my dream. For you I am going to become a famous singer. I have been writing a lot since I've been here, and while none of it is anything I'd sing, I am going to see if other musicians can use the lyrics.
It's a long, long road to carry on, and I've got to be strong. I will because I know that somewhere out there you believe in me.
I wonder if we will ever meet again.
Kana
Shuuhei read through the letter a second time. With Kana in his head, he left the apartment and began walking with no destination in mind. He just wanted to think about what she had written to him and the day they had met for the first time.
He had been last in line to meet anKa. As he had waited, he wondered what to say to her. Most of the people ahead of him were bigger fans than he was. It wasn't that he didn't like anKa's music; he just wasn't an obsessed fan. He heard several of them tell her they loved her. She had smiled at them and thanked them for coming to her show. He pulled the ticket stub out of his pocket for her to sign. He hadn't brought anything else with him. His nerves increased as he approached her.
"Thank you for coming to the show. Did you enjoy it?" anKa asked as she signed his ticket stub.
"Yes. I like your singing." His immediate reaction was shock. Had he actually just said that? It sounded stupid to him.
She smiled as she handed the stub back to him. "I'm glad." It was her smile that caught him. It was different than the ones she had given her more adoring fans. He could see it reflected in her violet eyes.
"You're pretty."
Her smile widened. "Would you like a picture?"
Shuuhei nodded. He was afraid if he opened his mouth, he'd say something stupid again.
They had shuffled him off after the picture had been taken, and he never had the chance to tell the blue haired girl his name.
Shuuhei sighed. To him, he hadn't been very eloquent that night, but what he had said to her had given her hope and something to smile about. He had unknowingly comforted her through one of the most trying times in her life.
It was the bar fight that had changed his thoughts on drinking. Not being able to remember what had happened was something he didn't want to go through again. He never wanted to wonder about something he had done. He had never gone back to the bar to talk to Kensei, and he had never asked Kira about it either. He had just accepted his fate and went on with his life.
"Cause it's a great time to live, and it's time to stand up and be counted," he muttered aloud, his thoughts returning to Kana's letter. "It's a long, long road to carry on, and I've got to be strong." Shuuhei stopped and repeated the two phrases. Inspiration hit him. "It's a long, long road to carry on. I've got to stand up and be counted on." He turned and ran back to the apartment, back to Kana's letter and back to his guitar.
...
Kana sighed as she parked her car. Shuuhei hadn't texted her since she had left. It worried her. She was afraid he had read the letter and was upset by it. Slowly, she made her way up to the apartment.
"Shuuhei, I'm home," she called out.
"In here," he replied. She walked into his bedroom and saw him sitting on his bed with his guitar in his lap. There were several pieces of paper scattered around him.
"What...?"
"Listen," he said as he began to play. Then he began to sing.
"It's time to open up the memories of your past and it's time to move on.
It's time to open up the shadows of your heart and it's time to move on.
Cause it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted.
And it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted on.
It's time to open up and shed a little light on your soul.
Cause the box you put your heartache in got lost or swept out to sea.
And it's time just to move on.
Cause it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted.
And it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted on.
It's a long, long road to carry on I've got to stand up and be counted on.
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.
It's a long, long road to carry on I've got to stand up and be counted on.
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.
And it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted.
And it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted on.
Cause it's a long, long road to carry on I've got to stand up and be counted on.
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.
It's a long, long road to carry on I've got to stand up and be counted on.
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong."
He finished and looked up at her. "It just came together for me." Kana wiped her eyes, and that was when Shuuhei noticed the tears in them. "Kana." He reached out for her hand.
"It's beautiful, Shuuhei. One of the best things you've written." He smiled at her.
"You helped. The line 'It's a long, long road, and I've got to be strong' was in your letter. That's what inspired me to write it."
She smiled, pleased that her letter hadn't upset him. "What are you calling it?"
He thought a moment. "Stand Up." Shuuhei stared at her for a minute. "If I'm going to sing a song on the album, I want it to be this one." He saw the song as a gift for her. Shuuhei began to play through it again. He stopped singing but continued playing just before it was done. "Kana, go change into something nice so I can take you out to dinner." With a smile, she leaned over and kissed him. As she walked out of the room, Kana heard him finish the song.
Author's Note: Stand Up was written and performed by the Feelers. youtube dot com slash watch?v=aEcCxrsQG0g