Tilly walked home with Sinead. Feeling guilty for how she'd reacted to Jen in the artroom cupboard. It's just she didn't want Jen to risk her career for her. What had happened to the promise? It had killed Tilly to make it but she'd done it anyway. For Jen. She needed it to be clear, that heartbreaking line between them had to be black or white. There was no room for a grey area. Tilly couldn't handle not knowing where she stood with Jen. Sure Jen for some reason unknown to Tilly had wanted to be risky today, to kiss her in college and risk someone walking in but what about tomorrow and the next day? With the promise they both knew where they stood. Teacher and student and at a push friends until they could be together properly. Despite all this going around in Tilly's head she still couldn't get the disappointed rejection etched all over Jens face out of her mind. Every time she closed her eyes she saw it and felt her heart break a little.

"You're quiet Tils?" Sinead observed as they walked together.

"Sorry just got a lot on my mind" Tilly faked a smile.

"So how come you want to stay at mine tonight? I mean I don't mind obviously it's just a bit random seens as you have your place to yourself all week" Sinead screwed up her face. Luckily Tilly had already thought of an answer for this question that she knew was coming.

"Oh you know. Hangover of doom and didn't want to go back and tidy up all the mess made last night" she lied. In reality she wanted to be as close to Jen as possible. Clean up the mess she'd made between them today.

"Ah course" Sinead smiled. "Did you get to talk to Lex today?"

Lex? Tilly thought. How the hell was she already so much part of the group? Not in a nasty way like Maddie had insinuated earlier but Tilly genuinely wondered how Lexie did it. She wasn't overly friendly at all yet people still seemed to be drawn to her. Except for a really jealous Maddie obviously.

"Erm no. Not really. Don't think she appreciated Maddie slating her like she did. I should probably text her in a bit actually." Tilly noticed Sinead raising her eyebrows and quickly added "not like that! Just feel bad. She's new and doesn't have any friends yet"

"Yeah yeah" Sinead winked as she opened her front door. Tilly took a deep breath before she walked in. Feeling nervous all of a sudden. Her heart sank when Jen wasn't in the living room. No one was.

"Ah Mums gone out. Said she's staying at Martha's. thank god for that she's doin my head right in lately!" Sinead read a note left on the kitchen top.

Tilly instantly felt relieved. She hasn't even thought about Diane. She knew she'd have watched Jen and Tilly like a hawk. She always seemed suspicious whenever Tilly was round even though they'd both told her time and time again they were over Tilly always got the impression she didn't believe them. Which obviously she was right not to as they were lying.

Jen lay on her bed as she heard Sinead come home. Great just what she needed Sinead going on about the party last night. She couldn't face hearing anything about it. So decided to stay hidden away in her room for a bit. Tilly had really upset her today. Jen had really gone out on a limb to try and kiss Tilly earlier and had never felt so humiliated. She had selfishly done it because she'd felt jealous at the attention Tilly had shown Lexie. Although she hated the fact Tilly had knocked her back at the time, deep down she understood it and deep down she was grateful. She had let her emotions take over her professionalism and she shouldn't have. Still didn't stop it hurting though. She checked her phone, nothing. No texts or missed calls from Tilly. Well she wasn't going to text her. No way. The ball was in Tilly's court now. Sick of checking if Tilly had text every two minutes, Jen decided to turn her phone off. She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. Just wanting to forget all about it.

"Ugh what are we meant to eat?" Sinead rummaged around the cupboards. "Selfish cow has gone out and not even got any shopping in! Ugh! Suppose I'll have to go the shop." Sinead tutted.

"I'm not hungry to be honest Sinead" Tilly shrugged. She felt sick. Where the hell was Jen?

"We'll I am. I'm starving. Won't be long"

With that Tilly was left alone. She made her way upstairs to go the bathroom. As she passed Jens room she touched the door slightly. She wanted so much to be close to her right now. She decided to go in. Maybe leave her a little note for when she got home. To say sorry. She opened the door slowly and was taken back when she saw Jen was in there. Laying on top of the covers fully clothed on her side with her knees bent up and her hands tucked delicately under her beautiful face. Tilly smiled to herself and closed the door behind her.

She perched on the bed next to Jen and watched her for a moment. Wondering what she was dreaming of. She looked so peaceful and more beautiful than ever. Her lips curling up at the sides every now and again. Tilly leant forward and kissed them. Lingering there got a moment before sitting back up. Jen stirred and opened her eyes. She smiled sleepily and pulled Tilly close to her. Not even stopping to ask what she was doing there. Not caring. Just wanted to hold her. Tilly rested her face on Jens leaning forward and Jen wrapped her arms around her. Squeezing tightly. They stayed like this for a few moments until Tilly sat back up and Jen begrudgingly let go.

"I'm sorry" Tilly smiled sadly down on Jen.

"Never be sorry for waking a girl up with a kiss" Jen smiled mischievously.

"You know what I mean. For earlier in college. I've not been able to stop thinking about it." Tilly stroked a stray piece of hair away that had fallen onto Jens face.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. You were right to knock me back. I guess I just needed a bit of reassurance that you still wanted me." Jen looked away embarrassed at her confession.

Tilly put her finger under Jens chin and gently turned her face to look back at her. Jens embarrassment quickly faded away when she saw the genuine look in Tillys eyes. "Jen, you don't ever need reassurance of that. I promise you right now that I'll never stop loving you. Never. Even if we argue, fall out, or god forbid ever split up. I'll love you forever. I mean it"

Jens eyes pricked with tears. Tilly had just voiced everything Jen thought about her. Exactly the same way. She'd never stop loving Tilly. She'd thought she'd been in love before but it had never felt like this. Tilly had shown her what love truly was and she was so grateful for that.

Tilly smiled and gently kissed Jen again on the lips. She quickly sat up as she heard the front door close. "Oh, that will be Sinead... She's only been to the shop. Come down and eat with us?"

"Oh I'm sure she'll be thrilled if I do that." Jen laughed sarcastically. Her and Sinead had ever got on.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Right I better get down there." Tilly stood up and Jen quickly grabbed her hand to stop her leaving.

"Tilly, everything you just said. Ditto." Jen spoke in a soft appreciative tone and kissed Tilly's hand.

Tilly sat in the living room watching TV whilst Sinead rustled about in the kitchen. Tilly had suddenly got her appetite back now that she'd apologised to Jen. A massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders and her heart wasn't as heavy in her chest. Jen made her way downstairs.

"Tilly. Hi" Jen nodded with a smile.

"Hello Miss Gilmore" Tilly smiled.

"I thought you were out?" Sinead snorted.

Jen ignored her and sat next to Tilly on the sofa her leg gently brushed Tillys and she instantly got goosebumps as all the hairs on her body stood to attention. Tilly put her hand next to her on the sofa and Jen put hers next to it. Just close enough to feel the warmth from Tillys but not too close as to look suspicious to Sinead.

"Ooh Tilly! I saw Lexie at the shop. She was asking all about you!" Sinead gushed "You're totally in there. I'm tellin ya!"

Jen pulled her hand away from Tilly. Tilly blushed.

"Look at her blushing! She reckons she doesn't fancy her but she's like this every time Jen. Tell her, she should go for it shouldn't she?" Sinead laughed at Tilly. Unaware she was blushing at the awkwardness of Jen witnessing this conversation.

"Don't be daft Sinead." Tilly shook her head defensively.

"Oh my god. Lexie is gorgeous Tilly are you mad? Tell her to go for it Jen. Maybe she'll listen to you!" Sinead tutted.

"You should go for it" Jen tried to say but it came out as more of a whisper as the lump in her throat didn't seem to want to let her voice those five words that felt like being stabbed in the heart five times. She smiled sadly and made her way back upstairs,. Tilly watched her walk away. The heaviness returning to her heart, the weight back on her shoulders and an overwhelming sadness at the inability to stand up and shout at Sinead that she was in love with someone else. She was in love with Jen. She was her everything. Forever.

TBC