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WHEN BRENDAN WALKED away from the café he felt let down, like what he tried to achieve was nothing his career choices, his life style revolved around one Steven Hay, ever since he saw him on T.V. and it meant nothing, he fought so hard to stay away from temptation; a new guy in his bed every night, no love just sex. He didn't do anything to Steven to make it seem like he would push him to the curb or abuse him once or even if they had a change of being together. Even the cheers from fans screaming his name outside the café didn't seem to help his sober mood. He looked at them, put on a fake smile, and waved his hands at his fans. He then slowly walked away with his head held high as he left his name on his fans lips fade away.
Brendan walked and walked with his head down low since he didn't need to prove to anyone how strong he was with his hands in his dress pants pockets. He thought about his best friend; Joel Dexter and shit he was right all along, all those years ago, who was he kidding, he will never change, even though he tried and he will never get the boy. He had to laugh for the boy hated his guts because of some pictures in tabloid magazines, some articles of him in newspapers, some story about him on the news.
He kept walking and round up walking from bar to bar all night long trying to get a buzz on, to get that feeling he once had, had before fell rock bottom for a rock star. The booze helped but he felt nothing, which was a different feeling all together. He didn't want to feel the feeling of nothingness. So he left the different bars he went to and knew a place he might be welcomed in a place he hadn't been to since the last time he was in America.
Brendan went into a strip club, where all the strippers knew him by name and his reputation with the hunks. When he went inside, the place was filled with smoke from guys smoking to close to the open entrance door and old drunk guys howling at the young, half naked men up on the four small stages that surrounded the club.
On one of the stages a young man in a red thong was bent over near one of the customers, when he stood up straight he noticed Brendan.
"Hey, Brendan, looking good honey"
"So do you Tony," said Brendan walking over the stage.
"When do you get off?" asked Brendan.
Just then a customer grabbed a hold of one of Tony's legs and he kicked his leg out of the man's grip and almost kicked the man in the head with his black leather shoe in the process.
"Now! Seems like a good time as any," said Tony out of breath as he backed away from the man.
Tony bent down to get his costume up from the floor of the stage and once it was over his right shoulder he turned around to face Brendan.
"I'll meet you out front" said Tony pointing to the front door.
"I'll be there" said Brendan sweetly.
Tony went backstage to get dressed and Brendan went over to the other stages to say hi to the other guys; Jono, Craig, and Kieron.
"Hey Brendan" the three guys said in unison
"Hellooooo! guys"
The guys smiled and blushed.
"Where you off to?" asked Craig, the sweet, innocent looking one of all the guys with his short blonde hair and a tiny pink body suit.
"Back to my place for a night cap with Tony"
"Do you think that's such a good idea?" asked Kieron, the ex-priest dark hair, wearing skin tight black leather and a cross around his neck.
"Hey, I'm not the same old Brendan; you all should know that by now even though I don't show my face around here anymore"
"I heard that you got a new place here in the states" said Jono.
"Yeah I did, I know that someone I like bought a place here so I thought I would invest in a place as well."
All three nodded their heads since they all knew who Brendan was talking about.
"What you have planned then Brendan?" asked Jono
"Some drinks and a chat" said Brendan
The three guys looked at him as if they didn't believe him.
"I'm serious" said Brendan but the guys just kept staring at him.
"Have fun" said Craig
"Thanks Guys," said Brendan waving goodbye to the guys.
Brendan went outside and lit a cigarette while waiting for Tony to come out.
"Sorry Tony, took a quick shower" said Tony as he walked outside
Brendan turned around to face Tony and put out his cigarette.
Brendan walked over to Tony and gave him a manly handshake.
"What's did you have in mind tonight?' asked Tony sweetly
"How about a little night cap at my place?" asked Tony
"Think that's so wise?" asked Tony
"If you don't try to rap me, plus you're not my type anyway" said Brendan with a laugh
"I don't think hanging out with two old friends, kicking it back with a few beers is so wrong."
"No, I guess you're right, lead the way" said Tony
They walked to Brendan's new loft in complete silence and once Brendan opened the door to his place he let Tony in first so that he could lock up.
Tony looked around Brendan's place which was crisp and clean. The place reminded Tony of the movie 'Big' with Tom Hanks but instead of a huge keyboard on the floor Johnny had a beautiful grand piano on the left side of the living area.
"This is nice" said Tony as he kept looking around.
"Thanks, I just moved in a few weeks ago" said Brendan as he joined Tony in the kitchen area.
"Help yourself" said Brendan as he pointed to the refrigerator.
"Thanks"
Tony opened the refrigerator and took out a Coors Light beer for him and one for Brendan. Tony handed the extra beer to Brendan then he opened the top of his and took a swing of his beer. Tony walked into the living area and took a sit on one of the white leather couches and he waited for Brendan to join him before taking another sip of his beer.
"Hey Brendan how come you're so dressed up tonight?" asked Tony
Brendan walked over to the couch that Tony was sitting on with two more beers in his hands besides the one that Tony handed to him.
"There was this party at the Hard Rock Café tonight, but it turned out that I wasn't on the guest list," said Brendan before taking a sip of his beer.
"Ste?" asked Tony one simple word but right to the point.
"Yeah," said Brendan with his head down low as he but the other beers down on the center table
"If your only attracted to him because of his looks then let him go, he's not worth it" said Tony
"No, it's more than that, I like him but I also want to be accepted."
"I see"
"I mean we have some of the same friends; Douglas Carter for one, who I saw earlier tonight. Don't understand why we all can't just hang out as friends"
"I see" said Tony as he opened his second beer.
"No, you really don't. If I can't be with Steven at least that he could do is let me be his friend but he has never wanted to meet me, he has never invited me to any of his gatherings, nothing," said Brendan taking a sip from his second bottle of beer.
"Yeah, I understand, I really do" said Tony moving closer to Brendan
"If you weren't a manizer, I would say you were a great guy" said Tony massaging Brendan's right shoulder.
"Hey I'm not that guy any more, but thank you by the way"
"I better be going, it's getting late" said Tony as he looked at the time on his watch.
"Come on, one more beer please" said Brendan sounding bit drunk.
"How many have you had already?" asked Tony, concern in his tone of voice.
"I lost count, who's counting anyway?" asked Brendan in a depressed tone of voice.
"Why don't you sleep it off, I'll call you in the morning"
"Why don't you stay?"
"No, definitely a bad idea"
Tony got up from the couch and grabbed the empty bottles of beer and put them on the kitchen island. By the time that Tony walked back to the couch Brendan was laying on his back fast asleep on the couch, snoring.
Tony walked into Brendan's bedroom and grabbed a comforter then he walked over to Brendan and covered him with it. He bent down and put her fingers through Brendan's hair and then whispered, "Good night" in his ear.
STEVEN WAS in his limo at a red light and he looked out the window and noticed a man, no not a man in Steven's eyes, a tramp leaving what he recalled to be Brendan's new place ( from what he read in the paper.)
Even though it was a big apartment Steven had a strong feeling that, that son of a bitch was at it again, thought Steven as the limo past by his apartment building.
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