She'd been looking at her watch for the hundred time in less then an hour usually by this time she would be out but someone had decided to murder 4 people with an axe and the multiple body parts scathered all around the house made it hard for identification so they were counting on Maxine and Natalia to analysed all the DNA sample by the end of the day .
NAT: God damn it ...
MAX: What ?
NAT: The computer frozed again i 'll have to restart again im never getting out of here .
MAX: If you have to pick up Joey you can go then come back .
NAT: No my mom got him today it's not that it's ...
Natalia stopped on her track when Ryan stepped into the lab ,Natalia pretended to go back to work while Maxine gave the both of them a weird look .
MAX: its what?
NAT: Nothing never mind .
RYAN: Hey ladies ...H send me to see how the samples are coming along .
MAX: Should be done in an hour .
RYAN: greaaaat ...let me know when your done .
MAX: Will do ...
RYAN : Bye Nat ...
Natalia pretended to be busy and thats she didnt hear Ryan couldnt help but feel a little hurt by this but once again decided to let it go .
MAX: OK seriously whats up between you and wolfe .
NAT: i dont know what you mean .
MAX: if you dont see the obvious then girl your blind ...the boy completly in love with you ..head over heels in love with you ...have you seen the puppy dog look he just had when you ignored him.
NAT: i dont know what your talking about ...and i wasnt ignoring him .
MAX: yeah right Natalia ...
NAT: look Maxine i have no feeling what so ever toward Ryan other then friendship ok ..thats it ...i cant help the way he feels .
MAX: yeah Natalia ..sure you cant help it sure sure ...
NAT: Maxine Valera what is that supposed to mean .
When Natalia gave Maxine a look that could kill ,Maxine look back quickly into her computer .
MAX: Ohh look we got a match she said grinning nervously .
NAT: Great could you go give the result to Berkeley i got to finish those !
MAX: BERKELEY! why me ! you could go ...you know your the csi im just a lab tech !
NAT: im too busy !
MAX: I DONT WANT TOO ! she said like a child throwing a tantrum
NAT: What are you 5 years old ! i know you dont like him but this is ridiculous .
MAX: Like him ..i never said i like him where did you get ! she chuckle nervously
NAT: i said you ''didnt'' like him Maxine !
MAX: ohh right !
Laughing nervously maxine tried to play it cool but Natalia wasnt stupid swirling on her stool she crossed her arms on her chest and grinned at her friend .
NAT: you've sleep with him didnt you ?
MAX; ARE YOU CRAZY ?
NAT: you so did ? she laugh out loud at the look of pure terror on Maxine face .
MAX: NO ! The mere look of the man makes want to puke myself .
NAT: then get ready to puke becasue you will deliver those result to him .
MAX: I so hate you sometimes !
NAT: Have fun with your boyfriend .
Pushing the glass door with force Maxine heard the laughter coming from her friend grunting she went on to search the men she dispised the most in her whole entire life.
On the other side of the lab the object of Maxien hatred was walking down the hall whistling with his hand in pocket passing by the firearms lab he stop on his track and then back up a few step.
Shaking his head he step inside the firearm lab standing behind the blonde hair csi who just 3 days ago had promised him to take some times off .
Sitting on her desk her back to him she didnt bnotice anyone had step into the lab .
JAKE: You know taking some times off doesnt mean coming to work Calleigh .
Barely reacting she kept her eyes on her work .
CAL: I did !
JAKE: 2 days Calleigh you took 2 days ! i was more thinking like a week or 2 .
Stepping in front of her desk jake leaned down to look at her eyes keeping her head down her hair hiding her eyes .
JAKE: Will you look at me .
CAL: i have work to do Jake if you here to nag me you better go away im really not in the mood .
Snatching her pen from her hand Jake tried to make her look at him but she simply sighted and reached for another pen to which he snatch again .
CAL: WILL YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD AND GIVE ME MY PEN !
Her eyes meeting his Jake took a step back she look worst then she did a few days ago apparantly the 2 days off she took didnt do her any good .
Her eyes were red has if she been crying none stop .
JAKE: Calleigh ! he said quietly
CAL: dont ! and just give me my pen .
JAKE: Not until you tell me what happened !
CAL: i dont want too ! she said quietly
JAKE: And how are you supposed to rest when you here !
CAL: I tried ok but ...
JAKE: But what?
Staring at him she pleaded and pleaded again for Jake to not push the issues but when he pulled a stool and sat in front of her she knew he wouldnt leave until she gave an answer .
JAKE: You know im persistent so just tell me .
with s ight she fixed her hair back stretching the muscle of her back.
CAL: remenber when ..when i told you about his dad and his lawyer .
JAKE: yeah Sharova ..thats his name right ?
CAL: yes ...he wants to see me ...i've told him no repeatly but his lawyer persistent .
sigthing Jake rubbed his face calleigh life was more complicated then an underocver assigment .
JAKE: ok ..you ..know maybe im just saying maybe you could go see the guy .
Remaining quiet Calleigh didnt want to admit that she had thought about it , a lot , more then she would like to admit , But she was afraid , afraid of what she could find of what this could mean for her , it could either help her move on or make her fall over the edge .
While Calleigh pondered on wether or not she should go see Alex sharova Ryan him was pondering on the '' why '' Natalia was being so distant with him lately .
At home she barely talked to him got up and went to work before he did , avoided looking at him and when he tried to make a conversation she would shrug it off casually , he went over it in his head again and again , tried to think of something he could have done or say the only thing he could think of was Frank retirement party . Maybe he had say something or did something that made her uncomfortable with him , if only he could remenber .
'' earth to ryan ''
RYAN : hummm...sorry Travers did you say something .
TRAV: Yes i said i found out where the axe has been bought ...your alright mate ?
RYAN : yeah yeah whys that?
TRAV: huh because you've been staring at Natalia across the hall for five minutes .
RYAN : i wasnt staring i was thinking about the case ...so where was the axe bought ?
TRAV: Sorry mate but from my end of the world they call that staring .
RYAN : Just give me the damn adress will you .
With the adress in hand Ryan walkeed out of the trace lab leaving Travers chuckling by himself until Ryan darted back inside and ask .
RYAN : OK jsut asnwer me this and please tell me the truth..at frank retirement party did i..did i do something you know embarrassing .
TRAV: Ohh mate you were so funny doing the chicken dance ! he laughed out loud imitating ryan dance .
RYAN : ohh god ! he said widely embarrassed and hiding his face behind his hand .
TRAV : Then you went on and on about how women are evil and just want to torture us !
RYAN : AHHHHHH!
Banging his head on the glass table Ryan thought it was the most embarrassed he had been his whole life .
TRAV: hey dont worry mate everyone had a good time .
RYAN : yeah at my expense .
TRAV: hey every party got their goof ball wolfe this year just happen to be you !
RYAN: ok ok thats all nice and good but what about Natalia ?
TRAV: ohh dont worry she was laughing has well at you .
RYAN : phh pheww.
TRAV: At least from the part i saw . I left early so i couldnt tell you what happen after that you'll have to ask your new best friend Berkeley.
RYAN : BERKELEY? since when his berkeley my best friend ?
TRAV: you really dont remenber ? Mate you were more wasted then i thought the whole evening you spent it chatting with him and he spend it straightening you up when you fell!
Ryan was more and more embarrassed at the situation but all of this didnt help him one bit at why Natalia was avoiding him lately .
Resigning himself he once again walked out of the trace labe leaving a laughing Travers behind to across the hall to the DNA lab , determined to get to the bottom line .Pushing the glass he stood firm in front of Natalia who stared at him waiting for him to say something , agonising minutes seem to pass without him saying a word.
NAT: what do you want ? she asked with a hard tone.
RYAN : Its. ...huh ..you ..you want to go out to lunch ?
NAT: im busy ! she answer before going back to work .
RYAN : ohh ok huh ...maybe tonight we could ...
NAT: I have a date ! she said interrupting him .
RYAN: ohh ok sorry i ddint know !
NAT: Do i have to tell you everything i do ?
RYAN: no of course not !
NAT :it's with matt , so what ever you were going to ask im sorry i cant im really busy lately .
RYAN : yeah i know ! he mumbled under his breath .
RYAN ; ahh it's good no problem i'll just spend the evening with my little buddy there a game on and...
NAT: No i ask my mom shes picking him up after her work ! she told him interrupting once again before he made further plan .
Trying to show that he wasnt hurt that she hadnt ask him ryan nervously moved from one feet to another still having no clue has to why she was distant with him he hoped they could have gotten a moment together to discuss it but she seem to be doing what ever she could to ignore him .
RYAN : Ok ..so i ..i wont disturb you anymore ...i'll see you later alright ?
He smiled at her but with she looked down her microscope his smile fadding quickly he walked out of the lab running his hand through his hair his heart a little bit more broken .
With a long and heavy sight she took her eyes off her microscope and look to where ryan had gone his head down and his step hesitant .She was out of line hurting him beyond words that she knew for sure but she couldnt face him , at least not yet , she needed more time , time to figure out what she wanted .
Finnaly she found him and when he saw her he smirk in that way that made her want to strangle him .
JAKE: helllooo gorgeous geek .
Rolling her eyes she shoved the result agaisnt his chest and turned around without a word but Jake trotted next to her reading the result has he did so .
JAKE: ahh so i was right the boyfriend of the teenage girl a match .
MAX: wow you can actually read good for you .
JAKE: you know you dont have to find excuse to come see me , if you to see me you just have me page.
MAX: believe me Jake your the last person i want to see .
JAKE : OUCH! he said half faking being hurt with his hand on his chest .
Once again she rolled her eyes and picked up her pace but she should have known that Jake would do the same , the trek back to DNA lab seem to last forever .
JAKE: you know if i had a penny for everytime you rolled your eyes at me i think i'll be rich .
Stopping on her track Maxiene face him searching in her pocket she retrieved a one dollar bill.
MAX: im sorry Jake if i had known you were so short on money i would have help you out , here a dollar go buy yourself something nice.
Has she tapped his cheek playfully Jake took a the dollar bill with smirk and said .
JAKE: dont mind if i do .
resuming her trek back to her lab Maxine tried to not rolled her eyes but she couldnt help herself .
JAKE: so you know ..i huh...about the other night.
Once again she stop on her track turned to face hima and pointed her finger at him with her voices firm but really low so no one would hear Maxine said.
MAX: Listen pal if you ever mention that god awfull night ever again your little soldier down there wont be able to shoot for as very long time got that !
Swallowing a hard lump in his throat Jake was genuinly scared of her right now but found it extremely sexy .
JAKE: You know your sexy when your mad !
MAX: Have you ever heard about sexual harressement detective Berkeley .
JAKE: ok ok im sorry your right that was out of line of me i agree , but i was wondering if ..huh we could talk about what you said the other night .
MAX: didnt we just agree to not talk about the other night ! she said with a exasperated tone .
JAKE: no i meant before we ...you know ...
MAX: It's call sex jake god grow up .
JAKE: i was about to say before we went home but hey what ever.
Pinching the edge of her nose Maxine tapped her foot on the floor she wished she was a csi right now so she could carry a gun and maybe shoot him in the middle of the lab and blame it on temporary insanity .
JAKE: Why you smilling ?
MAX: Thinking of ways to disposed of your body .
Smirking Jake crossed his arms over his chest his muscle clenching under his tigh t-shirt.
MAX: ewww not that way ! is there anything else but that on your mind .
JAKE: Actually yes which is why i wanted to talk to you about Calleigh ...you did say if i needed help you would be glad too .
MAX: fine fine just tell me what you want me to do so i can get away from that god awfull after shave your using .
JAKE: You love me admit it ! he said with a smirk wiggling his eyebrow .
MAX: JAKE! she warned clenching her fist .
JAKE: ok ok here what i thought maybe you ,Natalia and Alexx could take her to a spa or something, i tried having her take a few days but that didnt go well .
MAX: What makes you think she will accept everytime we try to get her out she turn us down .
JAKE: Your smart you'll think of something ! Come on i'll even pay .
MAX: Ohh well if your paying im in .
JAKE: great !
MAX: I'll talk to Natalia and Alexx and see what we can do .
JAKE Thank you .
MAX: And since your paying i'll go search online for the most expensive spa in all of miami.
Turning on her heels laughing she left Jake pondering wether or not it was a good idea to have offer to pay .
An few hours later both Dna tech were done with their test and Natalia praticly ran out of the lab she was nearly out of the elevator when her mom came out holding little joey hand.
NAT: hey bunny...she said picking her son up in her arms the little boy immediatly hugged his mother back .
NAT: mom ...why are you here did something happen? .
'' no sweet heart im sorry we have an emergency at work i cant babysit Joey tonight ''
NAT: mooooommm she whined ...it's my first date in three years come on .
'' sorry sweetheart you know i love spending time with Joey and i wouldnt do this if i had any other choice ''
NAT: what about my date ?
'' Isnt there any one else that can babysit ''''' maybe your sister christine ''
NAT: shes working too ...
''Anya?''
NAT: in New york...
'' Your friend Calleigh ...'''
The little boy excitedly clap his hand together and said .
JOEY: Cal ...cal ...cal ...
NAT: No ...she ..shes unavailable .
Natalia wasnt about to tell her mother that Calleigh was in a no shape to babysit her son so made up an excuse .
'' Well im sorry honey ...look like you'll have to reschedule your date .''
Sighting Natalia thought that her only date in three years was over before it had even started .
'' i can babysit if you want '' came a voices behind her she knew too well .
JOEY: ''yan ...'yan ...
Natalia had no choice but to let her son down when he wiggle out of her arms and ran into Ryan legs holding on tightly.
RYAN: hey little buddy ...what do you say want me to babysit .
When the young boy who had latch onto Ryan leg nodded excitedly at Ryan ,Natalia found it hard to refuse but having Ryan babysitting wouldnt really help putting a distance between her and Ryan .
NAT: no it's ok Ryan i'll just cancel .
RYAN: Look Nat ..im sorry i overheard but it looks like you need a babysitter so im voluntaring ...it wouldnt be the first time me and little man here hang out, , it would gave me a chance to repay you for letting me stay at your place ...plus dont tell anyone but i...
Ryan look left and right and then leaned toward Natalia and her mother and said
RYAN: but i put myself through college babysitting i was certified and all ...but if any of you mention any of this i'll deny it .
Natalia mother laugh she always found Ryan charming the few times she had met him and never could understand why her daughter never gave him a chance .
'' Now see honey it's all settle ''
Sighting again Natalia could see that it was three agaisnt one and that she had no chance at all .
NAT: Ok then ...she sighted unhappyly .once again ryan was hurt by her reaction if only he knew what he had done wrong he could fix what ever the problem was between them .
Little Joey jumped up and down until he saw Calleigh heading for the firearm lab and ran after her .JOEY: CAL...CAL... CAL...
the little boy yelled through out the hallway .
NAT: JOEY GET BACK HERE ...
Calleigh heard her name being call and turned around to see a little boy she knew too well running and jumping into her amrs .Calleigh barely had time to drop her files on the floor that Joey had wrap his arms around her neck.
The little boy hugged so tightly that Calleigh nearly choked ,Natalia who had been running after her son followed by Ryan stopped on her track when she saw an heartbreaking scene .Joey had his forehead resting agaisnt Calleigh and was stroking her hair gently .
JOEY: Cal ..always sad ...he said in low and soft voice .
CAL: hey Joey she said faintly a small smile appearing on her face .
JOEY: ..miss you cal ..
CAL: I miss you too Joey ...i've just been busy but i think about you lots and lots ok.
The little boy nodded mesmerized by her hair has he continue to touch them .
CAL : I think mommy waiting for you .
Calleigh put the little boy down ,she kneeled in front of him and said .
CAL: Now you be good to your mommy ok .
Joey Nodded up and down a little too fast Calleigh kissed his cheek gathered her files and went back to working another double shift .
Natalia took her son hand and said .
NAT: How many time have i told you not to run around like that .
JOEY: sowwy...
NAT: it's sorry Joey ...
JOEY: Ok ...he said kicking his feet around .
RYAN: ahh it's not too bad is it little man ...
NAT: Ryan do not tell me how to raise my son ...she said in a harsh tone and pointing a finger at Ryan .
Natalia took Joey hand and walked past a dumbstruck Ryan who looked down at the ground when she gave him a nasty stare .
Natalia joined her mother back at the elevator while they waited Ryan joined them and played rock paper scissor with Joey .
JOEY: You cheating ...the little boy said with a giggle .
RYAN: How am i cheating it's rock paper scissor he said has he draw out rock adding another laugh form the 3 year old .
'' god hes so good with kids '' natalia mother whisper to her getting into the elevator .
NAT: moooomm ..dont start ...
'' what i dont understand why you and him havent you know ...tssk tsskk...
NAT: God mother ...ewwww .
'' what hes cute ''
NAT: shhs he'll hear you ...Ryan just a friend ok
Ryan who had been standing in front of Natalia and her mother pretended not to hear anything has he play rock paper scissor with Joey but the mention of the '' just friend'' broke his heart a little ,but a long time ago he made his peace with it ,Natalia would never return his feeling so he settle on being the good friend even if it meant babysitting while she go on a date with another man .Now if he could only found why she'd been avoiding him lately .
As they stepped out of the lobby Ryan quickly picked up the litlte boy in his arms swirling him around like he was a plane ,Joey extented his arms and leg making airplane sound .
JOEY: brrrrrrr swwwwoooooosshhsh .
Joey laughter filled the lobby and many smiled at the little boy but when they crossed path with someone Ryan frozed ,Joey continue making sound until he saw the scary man .Ryan put him down on the floor and the little boy ran to his mother hiding behind her .
RYAN :sergeant stetler ...ryan said casually.
RICK: MR Wolfe ...miss Boa Vista i think you would both agree that this is no place place to bring children too .
RYAN: I dont think Joey was disturbing anyone sir.
RICK: Thats not the point csi wolfe this is a serious work place were criminals are being processed not a day care center so the next time miss BoaVista you dont have a babysitter i suggest you take some time off work..is that clear .
NAT; fine it wont happen again ...come on Joey .
Natalia gently pushed her son forward but when Rick bent to his sized joey clamed up and hide once more behind his mother .
RICK: Dont be afraid i dont bite ...you want some gums .
NAT: sorry Rick but i thought Joey never to talk or accept anything from stranger ...good day .
With that Natalia picked up Joey and ignored Rick as she walked away .
RICK: but am not a stranger ? he said to Ryan who grinned shamelesly shrugged his shoulder at Rick and soon followed Natalia outside .
RYAN : still dont know who made that idiot a sergeant .
JOEY: idiot ...idiot idiot hi hi hi .
NAT: gees thanks ryan cursing in front of Joey .
RAYN: I huh ...huh god im sorry i didnt think .
NAT: Next time think before you speak Ryan .
Ryan scratch the back of his hand looking down at the ground ,Natalia said her goodbye to her mother and to his surprised Natalia mother gave him a hug .
'' keep trying son...keep trying '' she whispered into his ear confused ryan watch her leave as she once again mouthed keep trying to him ,if only he knew what she was talking about .
As he help Joey get strap in his seat he asked Natalia .
Ryan akwardly balance himself on the balls of his heels his hand in his pocket .
RYAN: ok ...so i'll see you home then .
NAT: yeah i guess.
RYAN: I'll stop by the video store to get little man here some cool movie i shouldnt be long .
NAT: Ok nothing too violent .
RYAN: Dont worry i know what he likes .
Ryan opened her car door and then close it behind her once she got in. has she backed away Ryan waved at joey who was all excited to spend an evening with Ryan .
While she drove home Natalia reflected on the night she had found about Ryan true feeling a nigth she wished had never happen ever since that night everytime she looked at him she felt guilty here he was praticly being a father to her son and he would turn heaven and earth for her but simply wasnt in love with him .
20 minutes later the doorbell rang has Natalia rushed to open the door putting on her earings Joey play with his set of hotwheels car on the floor ,when she opened the door ryan gasped and stared wide eyed at her .
RYAN: hey ...huh sorry but you ..you put the chain on again .
NAT: Right sorry still not use to having a roomate ...Joey in the living room .
She did her best to avoid the way his eyes roamed over her body and turned around giving him a full view of her bareback .Following her inside Ryan closed the door taking a deep breath .Finding Joey in the living room on laying on the floor on his stomach while he crashed his hotwheels together Ryan tried to shake the idea of Natalia out with another man out of his head .Jealousy was a commun emotion when it came to her but through the years he had come to hide it very well ,plus he had no claim on her ..
RYAN : Hey little buddy guess what movie i got for you .
Showing the movie to Joey the little boy eye light up and he quickly ran to his mother as she got out of the bedroom .
JOEY: mommy ...mommy look look ..Cars .
NAT: Ahh thats nice Joey did you say thank you to Ryan .
Joey trotted back to ryan who kneeled in front of Joey giving him a tight hug but soon enough Joey ran to the dvd player and put it in .Looking up once again at natalia ryan couldnt help himself and stared .
RYAN: wow ...Nat you look ...beautifull...really beautifull.
NAT: thanks...there some food i left for you in the fridge and dont forget Joey allergic to...
RYAN : peanut i know dont worry ok ...go and have fun .
NAT: i will ...Joey wants to give a hug to mommy .
Joey hop down the couch running to his mother giving Natalia a quick hug before going back to his movie.
NAT: You be good to ryan ok Joey .
Joey nodded his eyes never leaving his favorite movie then Ryan walked to the front door and open it for her .
RYAN: Is he not picking you up ?
NAT: ohh no i dont like to give my adress to people i barely know
RYAN: thats wise .. want me to call in an hour that way if hes a creep you'll have an excuse to leave ..
NAT: No it's ok thanks anyway .
RYAN: If you change your mind just find an excuse to go to the bathroom and then run away! he laughed .
NAT: Im sure i'll be fine ryan .
Once again his attempt at making her laugh failed she use to laugh at all his joke even when they were the most stupidest but now not even even the shadow of a smile .
NAT: If anything happens you'll call me right .
RYAN : Yep...hes still allowed to play with knife right .
NAT: RYAN WOLFE !
RYAN : come on im messing with you go and have fun ...and dont do anything i wouldnt do .
Natalia left for her date closing the door behind her ryan rested his forehead agaisnt the coldness of the door sighting he let his palm slide down the door until Joey call out to him .
A few hours later after they had watch Joey favorite movie CARS ,Joey thought it was a good idea to show him his hotwheels collection .Just like when Ryan was a kid Joey place them in order of sized and color and told Ryan every single thing about his very vast collection .
JOEY: This one here is a corw'ette ..it's kind of cool.
RYAN : what you favorite one in all of those .
The little boy thought really hard tapping his chin with his finger has he scan the many hotwheel lay out on the living room carpet .
JOEY: hummmmm ...gosh it's so hard the little boy said dramaticly ...i guess ...hummm this one here .
Joey handed ryan a bright red sporst car .
JOEY: It's fewwawi ...
RYAN: A ferrari you mean .
JOEY: huh huh its goes really fast ...like lightning .
RYAN: dear god it's fast ...
JOEY: huh but its not like the car you and mommy drive ...the hummew .
RYAN: the hummer yeah it's pretty cool car ... i dont see it in your collection .
Sighting dramaticly Joey sputting back the ferarri carefully among the others .
JOEY ;I lost it at the park the other day .
Never been able to see a child sad especially Joey ,Ryan raised his hand in the air wiggling his finger at joey .
RYAN: The tickle monster is here ..muuuuaahhhhhhaaaaaa.
Joey excitedly stood and ran away from Ryan.
RYAN: Im going to catch you .
Joey ran around the house with ryan chasing after him when he corner him Joey couldnt help but laugh out loud but when ryan began tickling him all hell broke loose and joey laugh so loud that it echo through the house.
Ryan laugh along with him until he saw joey eyes widen his laughter stoppping right on track Ryan removed his hands afraid he might have hurt the little boy ,Then ryan notice a wet patch on Joey overall .
His eyes filled with tears his bottom lips shaking and as soon has ryan took him in his arms Joey let them all out going from laughing out loud to cry out .Ryan quickly headed to the bathroom doing his best to comfort the little boy has he put him down int he bathroom ,joey wiped his tears .
JOEY: Im sowwwwyyy he whined sniffing out loud .
RYAN: It's ok ..happen to everyone .
JOEY: weally...it happen to you ?
RYAN: yeah sure ..you want to know a secret .
Joey nodded while ryan kneeled in front of doing undoing the strap of his overall .
RYAN: yep when i was in college i so needed to go ,like real bad but the toilet at school were filthy and i mean filthy ...
JOEY: whats filthy ?
RYAN: Like really really really dirty ...yukky.
JOEY: ohh yuk...
RYAN: exactly ...so i thought i could make it back home but the bus was late and unfortunatly ended up having a little accident .
JOEY: wee wee in you pants ?
RYAN: Yep ...but remenber it's a secret .
JOEY: Ok he said nodding has ryan removed his overall .
RYAN: Pinky finger swear .
Ryan handed his pinky finger to Joey who did the same and they shook on it .
RYAN: Now what do you say i think it's bath time.
JOEY: can i play with my submarine.
RYAN: i dont see why not .
JOEY: 'yan
RYAN : yeah buddy .
JOEY i lowe you .
Ryan heart break on the spot the little boy tiny arms wrapping around his neck brought tears to his eyes , joey kissed his cheek and ryan was done for .
RYAN : I love you too buddy , now go get your submarine .
Joey ran out of the bathroom wearing his spiderman underwear to fetch his favorite submarine , quickly wiping his teary eyes , ryan would always cherish the moment he would spend with Joey and wasnt ashamed that Joey consider him his best friend and living with him and natalia had given Ryan the chance to bond even more with the boy he wish was his .
Natalia came home grumpy and frustated she would have slap the door but didnt want to wake Joey in case he was sleeping .The date had gone well he was charming,polite well manner and most of all utterly cute she was charm until she mentionned Joey and suddenly he found and excuse and she never seen a man ran away so fast form her ,worst he left her with the bill, the waiter giving her an apolegetic look was the final straw .For a first date since the birth of Joey it was a complete disaster .
Taking her very painfull high heels off she rub the back of her neck and headed to find Ryan ,the sound of the tv playing through the house she found them asleep on the couch with Joey resting on Ryan chest sucking his thumbs wearing his favorite transformer pj .She couldnt resist she took her phone out and took a picture of the both of them .She would have picked Joey toys but has usual Ryan had place them all in order .
So the last thing to do was get Joey to bed ,Stepping slowly toward them she moved ryan hands carefully so not to wake him ,she gotten one hands out from around joey waist when Ryan quickly open his eyes aware of someone presence in the house .
NAT: Hey ...she said quietly has to not wake Joey .
Ryan blinked his eyes a few times and then stop Natalia from getting Joey.
RYAN: i got it .
rayn slowly lifted himself into a sitting position one hand under joey bottom and the other behind his head .
RYAN : Your home early.
NAT: yeah ...didnt go has planned .
RYAN: what was wrong with him?
NAT: It's not really what was wrong with him it's more what was wrong with me .
Stopping on his track Ryan turned to her and waited for an explanation he wonder what kind of man in their right state of mind would turned down a woman like Natalia .
All she had to do was point to Joey and Ryan understood .
RYAN: If you ask me it's is lost .
Heading toward the small boy bedroom Natalia pulled the transfomer covers down .Ryan gently put down the small boy frail body and pulled back the covers up on him making sure he was safely tuck under .
RYAN : Good night little man.
Ryan let his hand touch Joey head and he put next to the boy his favorite plush toy 'Joey immediatly wrap his little body around it .Natalia then leaned down kissing her son forehead and told him good night .
Closing the door behind them ryan followed Natalia in the living has she sat down on the couch rubbing her feet.
RYAN : Im sorry your date didnt go has planned .
NAT: yeah ...
Sitting down next to her he took her feet in his hand resting it on his lap he began a slow but very rewarding massage of her feet ,for a second she closed her eyes it been long since she had a man touch her .
RYAN: nat ...he said softly ghosting his finger up and down her leg .
NAT: yeah ...she said her eyes remaingin clsoed has she took a more comfortable position .
RYAN: Did ...did i do something to upset you ...did i insult you in some way ?
Sighting Natalia opened her eyes she tried to removed her foot but ryan got hold of it and held it still.
NAT: You really dont remenber dont you.
RYAN: No im sorry i really dont ...if i did anything to uppset please accept my apologies it was not my intend .
NAT: You didnt insult me ryan .
RYAN : Then what did i make you uncomfortable or something just tell me Nat please .. if you change your mind about me living here , i wont be mad i know i can be ocd and it can be a bit too much for some people , i can move out .
NAT: No no Ryan please dont say that , Joey loves having you here .
RYAN : what about you ?He asked tentivly .
NAT: Surprisingly your OCD tendancies dont bother me ! she said with a teasing smile to which Ryan returned moving his finger along her barecalf
Suddenly feeling self concious when she realised her dress had risen up and she was showing more skin then she intended but yet Ryan eyes remained on hers never making her fell like many man would like she was a piece of meat .
This time he let her removed her feet and has she tucked her leg under the other she she grab a cushion and held it tightly .
NAT: The night ...the night i drove you home after Frank retirement party do you remenber .
RYAN: god no sorry i was so drunk ...god i didnt touch you inapropriatly did i if i did Nat ...i...
NAT: no non ryan stop right there you were never inapropriate .
RYAN: Pheew ,,then what did i do ...i didnt run naked in the street did i ...
A faint flashback of his college day went through ryan head he wished to god it wasnt what had put tension between him and Natalia.
Giggling Natalia threw a cushion at him.
NAT: no you didnt .
RYAN: thank god that would have been embarrassing .
NAT: yeah ...you know what lets just forget it ,im sorry for the way i acted .
RYAN : No please tell me what i did .
NAT: you ...you said ...
RYAN: I said what ?
NAT: You really dont have a clue .
RYAN: look at me im clueless.
NAT: Ryan you said you loved me ..that you've been in love with me for a while now .
She watched has ryan frozed on the spot for a second she thought he was dead she never seen a man so scared in her life ,then he stood and sat back and stood again and sat down again .
RYAN: gosh ..i ...really ...i really said that ...
NAT: yeah ...
RYAN; what did i said exactly ?
NAT: well you were kind of drunk and bablling but you said you loved me and that you knew i didnt but that ...
RYAN : but that what ?
NAT: I dont know you fell asleep .
RYAN: oh god ...
Ryan hide his face behind his hand he never been so embarrassed in his life counting the day he ran naked in the street.
RYAN : Im never drinking again ...no wonder you've been avoiding me .
Scooting closer to him Natalia bite her bottom lips whats exactly were you supposed to say to man that was simply perfect for you but that you didnt return his feeling .
NAT: yeah about that Ryan ...im sorry i overeacted ...i ...
Ryan lifted his palms toward her stopping Natalia from what ever she was going to say .
RYAN`: spare me the it's not you it's me ok ...i know ok ...i know you dont return my feeling ok so just spare me ... i made my peace with it a long time ago ...
NAT: Ryan i just wanted to keep things simple ...you know since you ...
RYAN : Since i what ?
NAT: You said you've never felt anything this way before about anyone not even jasmine .
Ryan eyes widened even more if that was even possible he stood from the couch walked back and forth avoiding looking at natalia .
RYAN : god im such an idiot ...so stupid ...i ruined everything
NAT: ryan stop it ...your not stupid ...and you didnt ruined anything.
RYAN : what you mean ? he asked has he stop pacing
Caught of guard it was her turn to be caught of guard .
RYAN : if i didnt ruined anything why have you been avoiding me for the past three days .
NAT: i...huh ..i was confused ! she admitted shyly .
RYAN : confused ? Natalia are you saying that ...you have ..you might have feeling for me !
NAT: I ..yes ..no ...i dont know ..this all to sudden for me !
RYAN : sudden ! Natalia ...
Kneeling in front of her he took her hands resting on her laps , finding them moist with nervousness.
RYAN: sudden ? Natalia this between you and me is nothing but sudden ...at least not for me i have love you in silence for god knows how long ...all i have of you is one night ...one night where you were mine ...and i know after that night we both agree we should leave to that and i was fine with that honestly i was but then you told me you were seeing Cardoza and i was angry ,jealous ...
NAT: Ryan ...she tried to say but he interrupted by squeezing her hand .
RYAN : Please let me finish ...when you told me you were seeing him , you had that bright smile on your face and i thought NO shes mine he cant you cant ..i have never in my life been so jealous .
NAT: I didnt know ! she said quietly with a sniffle .
RYAN : i dont think i even know myself ...
Stroking her cheek he wiped a tears that was slipping down her cheek .
RYAN : can i keep going ?
He waited for her cue the last thing he wanted was make her uncomfortable , when she gave a small nod he had his cue to continue.
RYAN : and then ...then you told me your pregnant and i thought it should be me that baby should be mine ...i wanted him to be mine ...when you told me he didnt want anything to do with the baby i wanted to kill him literrally ...after a while i realised what you needed was a friend so i took you to your first appointement then the next and the next after that , dont get me wrong i didnt mind one second not one second ok, not fixing the nursery, not going with you to lamaze class or even when your broke my pinky finger.
Giggling she remenber the birth very well she'd been pushign none stop for 4 long hours holding his hand so tight that she broke his pinky finger.
RYAN :and then i held him that little life just a few minutes old i held him agaisnt me and i knew without a doubt what unconditionnal love was .
Has Ryan expressed openly everything he had kept bubbling up inside through all those years his eyes were filling with tears to which he didnt try to hide one second .
RYAN : God Natalia you dont know ...you dont know how many times i wish that little boy was mine .
When she looked down at their joined hands sniffing he wasnt sure it was either a good sign or bad but he had open the door and wasnt about to close it at least not yet , squeezzing her hand he kept going , until she would stop him .
RYAN: Natalia i went out with a girl that made me miserable threated me like i was trash cheated on me , abuse me verbally and physicly all because i needed to get you out of my head out of my heart , for a while i thought it work i was happy with Jasmine ...that was until she saw you and me together she knew , she knew what everybody except you knew ...that i am so crazy in love with you that i would rather pretend and be your friend then express my feeling .
For a second he stop she wouldnt look at him simply kept her eyes focus on their joined moving her thumb along his knuckles she snif and sniffed again .Tapping her hand Ryan gently released her stepping back away from her his finger going through his hair he felt somewhat relieved .
RYAN: im not asking you for anything and i always thought it would better if you never knew but now i feel relieved and im not going to deny it ..i know ..i know you dont feel the same i've known for a long time , i dont want you to feel like you owe me anything , i would rather go back to pretend then loose you and Joey .
Gathering herself she wiped her cheek form the tears took a deep breath and finnaly looked up at him , his eyes just like hers were filled with tears , he obviously was hurting , a lot , how much more could she hurt him she thought .
Choosing her words carefully she had the feeling that no mather what she said tonight no mather how they ended the evening their friendship would never be the same .
'''MOMMMMYYYYYYY '''
The little voice calling for his mother interrupted her thought
NAT: I'll be right back ok she told him with a faint smile he gave a nod has an answer while she slipped away from the livign room .
Before she step into her son bedroom Natalia check into the hallway mirror if she was presentable , making sure she didnt have any tears stain on her cheek once that was done she slowly open Joey bedroom .Joey was hiding under his comforter curled up into a ball .
NAT: hey there ...whats wrong bunny .
JOEY : Monster...he said quickling ducking his head out of the comforter and back in .
NAT: what ...bunny we talk about this there no monster remenber .
JOEY: yes...i heard him growled
NAT: Bunny ...there no monster i promise .
JOEY: swear ...
NAT: cross my heart ...
JOEY: can you check my closet .
NAT: sure ...
Natalia went to check in Joey closet opening the door wide for him too see ,Joey duck his head out and look before hiding once more under his comforter .
JOEY: under the bed ...
Natalia kneeled at joey bedside and looked under .
NAT: nope no monster under...but we do need to vacuum more often .
Sitting on the edge of the bed next to her son Natalia gently stroke his hair and cheek .
NAT: Feel better now .
Joey pulled down the comforter and nodded .
JOEY: i need to pee pee.
NAT:Ok but hurry up mommy tired ok .
Natalia help her son getting down his bed and he quickly trotted to the bathroom across the hall .Waiting for Joey to be done Natalia quickly glance at Ryan in the living still back waiting for her one hand covering his was still unsure about her feeling for him but one thing was sure she didnt want him to leave .
When she heard the toilet flush it was her cue that Joey was done.
NAT: did you wash your hands .
Joey nodded rubbing his tired eyes .
JOEY: Thi'sty
NAT: ok you go into bed and I'll get you something to drink .
Quickling going to the kitchen Natalia opened the fridge and took out the pitcher of cold water she alwasy kept ,filling a small glass for Joey she headed back to his bedroom and handed her son the glass but Joey shook his head and said .
JOEY: apple juice...
NAT: Joey ...mommy real tired and were all out of apple juice.
That was a lie and when joey slightly pouted she a small pang of guilt hit her but was relieved when he took the glass of water and took a small sip .
NAT: Im going to leave the glass right here on your night stand ok bunny.
Natalia tucked Joey into his bed opening his tow-mather night light ,then she kissed his forehead .
By the time she closed the door Joey had already dozed off .
When she made it back to ryan was sittign on the couch his head leaning back. his eyes were closed and for a second she tought he was asleep .
NAT: Ryan ! she said softly stepping closer .
Fluttering his eyes open Ryan saw the umconfrotable look she had fiddlign with her hands and shifting from one foot to another but she stared at him and she seemed to going through her mind about what she should say next .
NAT: Im scared ! she admitted
RYAN : Of what ? me ?
NAT: no ...not exactly ..ryan...i would lying if i say that there werent time that i didnt think of us that way but i cant im sorry i cant be anymore then your friends ...
He already knew it but hearing it didnt make it easier , wih long and painfull sight he gave a small nod moving to stand form the couch but she put her hand up and stop him sitting next to him she took his hand .
NAT: Can i explain why ?
RYAN :you dont have to explain anything Natalia .
NAT: yes i do , please you've told me how you felt now it's my turn .
Nodding he gave her the go ahead has she focus once gain on their joined hand .
NAT: i love you and you know that and like i just told you i would be lying if i said i didnt think of us that way , i did many times ...how could i not you've been there for me more then i could ever repay.
RYAN : you dont owe me anything ! he said quietly .
Smilling she stroke his cheek .
NAT: i know and thats why i love you , you never expect anything out of me and thats why ..thats why it's so easy to be with you...i have never known someone like you , someone who gives both his time and heart without question , each time i see you with Joey it's ...you cant imagine what it like ...my son ..my son doesnt have a father and thats some thing i will have to live with and hes paying for it because i made the wrong choice i choosed ..i choosed the wrong man .
Even though Ryan wanted to say that he could be father to Joey all she had to do was ask and he would jump in and provide both emitional and with finance but he didnt want to feel like he was imposing so he never did .
NAT: You were right it should have been you ...all along that little boy should have been yours i should i have choosen you .
The tears overtaking her she found herself unable to express herself anymore searching her breath . openign his arms for her ryan pulled her agaisnt him her head on his chest he kissed the top of her head , it didnt help she felt even more guilty ,here she was breaking his heart and he was the one recomforting her .
RYAN : you shouldnt have regrets he whispered agaisnt her ear .
NAT: i know ! she responded her voices breaking .
NAT: I dont regret anything because it gave me the beautifull thing i have ever had , Joey is my life Ryan ...i cant regret anything i did back then becasue that would mean i regret my son ..which i dont!
RYAN: i know you dont .
NAT: But i cant ..i cant help but think that if ..if you and me would have move forward after that night if we had given each other a try that maybe thing would have gone differently maybe i wouldnt have gotten pregnant , maybe i would have or maybe you and me wouldnt have work and he would have ended up hating each other and i would have missed out on the second best thing that ever happen to me which is your friendship .
Squeezzing her agaisnt him he rested his chin agaisnt the top of her head she felt the long breath he took and could hear the thumping of his fast heartbeat agaisnt his chest and she knew right then he understood her meaning but she kept explaining herself even though she was breaking his heart.
NAT: My son ..he loves you so much Ryan , you know that , i know that and even knows it , he always ask about you and since you moved in i dont think i had seen him so happy , your his hero,his best friends ...i also know that he wish ...he wished you were his father ...i heard him the other night and afterward i seen the look on your face back then i didnt understand but know i do .
RYAN : the way you feel about me Natalia wont change the way i feel about him or you for that mather i will always be there for the both of you when ever you need me .
Another wave of cries ,sobs and hicups hit her and the more she cried the more ryan held her fighting his own tears .
NAT: i know that ... i so hate myself right now , your so wonderfull so patient any girl would be happy to have you ...
RYAN : But not you ...
Lifting her head she looked up into those sweet brown eyes filled with tears and yet he was smilling at her , that man was perfect she should love him and she did just not in the way he wanted .
NAT: I wish i did Ryan ...i do love you just not ...
RYAN : i get it it's ok !
NAT: NO ITS NOT!
RYAN : shhh you'll wake Joey ...Natalia i have known for a while now that you didnt feel the same way and im fine with it i really am .
NAT: How could you say things like that ...i've been horrible to you these past few days .
RYAN : it' s ok Natalia ..it was your own way to deal with things .
NAT: you deserved better ...i was afraid that no mather what i would loose my best friend .
RYAN : hey your stuck with me no mather what !
A faint laugh escaped her lips through her sniffing cupping his left cheek she kissed his right and nuzzled his neck , she shouldnt torture him like that but he held her tight agaisnt him so she figure he didnt mind .They stay like this quietly his arms around her stroking her back while she closed her eyes her head on his shoulder .
NAT: were goign to be ok right ? she asked quietly .
RYAN : yes i promises you we will .
NAT: mmm !she answer slowly drifting .
RYAN : hey maybe you should go to bed...
NAT: A couples of more minute ok ...
RYAN : Ok ...he answer with a gentle stroke of her hair .
It was killing him having her so close and yet so far but like he told her he was fine with it he would take whatever she would give him .Just like she promised a few minutes later she stood on her foot wished him goodnight with another kiss on the cheek , her cheek still stain with tears she closed her bedroom door behind her .
When Ryan heard the click of the door he released the breath he had been holding with his hand over his mouth he hurried back to his room closing the door behind him he slid down the door taking his hand off just has the floodgate open bitting his lips so no one would hear him .
With his head between his knees he took deep breath in and out wipping his eyes he remain on the floor of his bedroom , he knew sleep would be hard to find .
Outisde his bedroom Natalia stood in the hallway creeping quietly toward his bedroom door she heard the snif and the quiet sob , resting her forehead agaisnt the door she almost reached for the door handle but pull back .
Ryan needed time , privacy to get over this so she pull back and walked backward to her bedroom, laying in her bed she wonder if she made the right choice if she hadnt made the biggest mistake in her life and ruined both their happinness , for her too sleep would be hard to find .