A few days after Calleigh visit to Eric graves she did has usual hiding in her work , double shift over and over again , same old routine after that , drink a bottle of wine by herself fall asleep either on the couch or in her bed but either way she fell asleep crying clutching his cross around her neck .In the morning it was always the same thing , waking up with her head throbbing long before her alarm was due ,withins minutes , ignoring the painfull headache , she would pop 2 aspirin , then change into her running, gear running shoes and would run outside has the sun rose until her muscle burn inside of her .
Running was still one of the thing she enjoyed , for a few minutes she would forget about everything and was free of the heartache .
But Reality would never escape her , always daunting her,she couldnt wait to get out of the house his ghost always there to haunt her ,after her run she would shower quickly and run out of the house without breakfast or even coffee , no mather how her body desperatly needed it .
She also knew she couldnt live like this for long , overwork , skin and bones mixed with the alcohol it simply was a mather of time before her body gave up and she would be facing the inevitable , but did she care .She ask herself that question many times and she never could come up a with a proper answer , sometimes she did care she tiny glimps of hope that she would find the light again .But she would always be brought back so after a while she had no hope left only lived her life like faith had decided for her .
So today she did like every other day went to work early while the night shift was barely finishing , hide herself in her lab away from everyone , especially from Maxine and Natalia who seems to always want to do something with her but she couldnt take it anymore , couldnt take the meaningless talk , about life , men , childrens , she simply didnt care but no one seemed to get it .
Which is why now during her lunch break she was stuck with Natalia ,Maxine and Alexx who just joined them at the bistro across the lab , cursing herself silently that today was a slow at the lab which didnt give her any excuse to refuse their invitation and they didnt exactly gave her any chance when they praticly dragged her out of the lab no mather how much she tried to argue .
And now has she listen to them chit chatting she rub her temples wishing she could have some alcohol to make this useless conversation less painfull. Shaking her legs and biting her nails she shifted for the hundred time on her small wicker chair rolling her eyes under her sunglasses when Maxine told yet again how Jake was getting on her last nerves .
MAX: i think if he smirk at me with that annoying smile he got i will rip his lips from his face !
NAT: your just saying that because you would so love to have those lips kiss you ! she laugh out loud at Maxine frowning face .
MAX: I DO NOT ! he so annoying always getting on my nerve about everything .
Exhaling calleigh looked around for the waiter she definitly needed a drink Alexx watch her carefully from the corner of her eyes wiggling around on her chair.
NAT: Sure you do ...you loooooove him !
MAX: SHUT UP !
NAT: wow nice reply ! she laughed again , even Alexx let out a small laugh escape her lips .
ALEXX: Would it be so bad to admit you like him Maxine !
MAX: I do not like him the mere sight of the man make me want to puke ...barf !
NAT: yeah sure that why you slept with him after Frank retirement party .
Alexx nearly spit out her drink at natalia revelation .
MAX: Now look what you've done ! why dont you broadcast it on the news .
NAT: I would if i could ! would so be worth the look on your face right now !she teased back shifting to avoid Maxien punxhing her in the arms .
ALEX:: i think Natalia right you like him more then you admit it , you know the line between hate and love is very very thin .
MAX: I wonder if i do end up killing him it could be call a crime of passion !
Has Maxine looked up to the sky pondering her option Natalia and Alexx looked at each other with Natalia rolling her finger next to her head indicating to Alexx that Maxine was indeed crazy .
NAT: or maybe you could plead insanity since you clearly are .
MAX: I clearly to have slept with hat disguting excuse for a man ...god i felt so dirty ..brrr!
Obviously none interrested in the conversation Calleigh motionned for the waiter ,ordering herself a glass of wine .
ALEXX: arent you working ! she asked Calleigh with a raised eyebrow while Maxine and Natalia stared at her silently .
CAL: Mind you own business wont you !she answer harshly causing Alexx to glared at her .
Always feeling uncomfrotable around confrontation Maxine quickly found something to say .
MAX: Anyway why im i the subject the conversation when Natalia the one living with the object of her fantasy.
The server brought Calleigh glass of wine she took a long sip hoping it would give her the force to handle this agonising conversation .
NAT: Will you stop with that , Ryan just a very good friend .
MAX: yeah and im the queen of england ...just admit it Natalia you so love to have that geek god parading around why else would you let him move in with you .
NAT: Huh excuse me ...crazy ex remenber how mean she was to him .
MAX: Ohh please dont remind me of that witch ...still not an excuse .
NAT: what else was i supposed to do let him live in his car or shady hotel .
MAX: yeah riiiiight ...im willing to bet this dinner here that you ''accidently '' brush past him has he was walking out of the shower hoping he would drop that towel...didnt you ?
NAT: Maxine sweety that something ''you'' would do ! she said tapping her friend hand playfully while ALexx burst into a loud laugh , calleigh completly ignoring her friends conversation took a long sip of her glass of wine checking her watch again or wishing she would be called to work anything to get her out of here .
NAT: ok ok i admit i sometimes wonder what would happen i would date ryan , but i wont ok so lets drop the subject ...Ryan and i are just friends and will stay so .
MAX: i dont understand why your not going for him ...what could you loose , hes cute somewhat funny , smart... sometimes , a body to die for and lets not forget how good he is with Joey .
NAT: Thats exactly it Maxine , Joey ...if it doesnt work out not only would i loose my best friend but Joey would loose his has well i cant allowed that .
ALEXX: So basicly your not willing to give him a chance !
NAT: it's not that Alexx i got to think about my little boy .
Calleigh finished her glass scoffing at Natalia she shook her head looking for the waiter , the firendly conversation sunddenly turned tense after Calleigh back to the table she felt all their eyes on her .
CAL: What !
ALEXX: Im sorry did with disturb her highness with our conversation .
At first Calleigh glared at her oldest friend if look could kill Alexx would have burst into flames by now .Having enough Calleigh pushed her chair back and moved to stand but Maxine who has sittign next to her put her hand on her arm an pleaded with her .
MAX: PLease Calleigh stay ...its been a long time since we all had diner together please sit back down and tell us what you've been up too lately .
Scoffing once again Calleigh didnt hide the sarcastic laugh that came out of her lips leaning her elbow on the tables .She glared at all her friends .
CAL: Ohh now you want to know about ...ok lets see hummm where do i start well first i fell in love with a wonderfull man who actually made me really happy ...
ALEXX: Calleigh ! she warned quietly knowing where she was heading and that it wasnt going to be pretty .
CAL: no no please let me finish Maxine ask me a very important question ...so where i was before i was rudely interrupted ..ohh yes see i was so happy for once in my life ...but you know what just everything else in my life ''BOUM'' it went away or should i say taken away but hey i cant balme anyone yep this one all on me i acutally shot the guy ...the only man who ever made me happy i shot him ...i killed him ...
NAT; CALLEIGH PLEASE !
CAL; PLEASE WHAT HUH NATALIA ...IVE LISTEN TO THE THREE OF YOU GO BLA BLA BLA ABOUT THINGS THAT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS BY NOW ...LIKE YOU MAXINE STOP PRETENDING YOU DONT LIKE JAKE WHEN YOU DO , YOU ALWAYS COMPLAIN THAT GUYS NEVER GIVE YOU A SECOND LOOK AND HERE ONE THAT MIGHT GIVE A DAMN MORE THEN YOU THINK AND WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU PUT HIM DOWN EACH TIME YOU HAVE A CHANCE .
With her mouth wide open Maxien listen to calleigh angry rant her eyes filling with tears avoiding the eyes sight of her friend she looked down at the ground like a child that was being punish .
CAL; AND YOU NATALIA HOW LONG UNTIL YOU JERK RYAN AROUND HUH ? HE LOVES YOU PROBALY MORE THEN YOU DESERVED IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW THAT OR MAYBE YOU DO AND YOU JSUT LIKE TO HAVE HIM AROUND HAS YOUR LITTLE PUPPET OR FOR HIM TO PLAY DADDY FOR JOEY ! WAKE UP NATALIA BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE AND HE REALISED YOUR NOT WORTH IT !
Natalia gasp squirting her eyes she grip the side of her chair reminding herself that Calleigh wasnt in her rigth state of mind .
ALEXX: AL RIGHT THATS IT STOP IT !
Grabing Calleigh arms to stop her Alexx had heard enough Calleigh wasnt yelling but she was being bitter and hurtfull , but Calleigh yank her arm away with so much force that it hit the waiter that was brigning her a brand new glass of red wine the content spilling onto the poor waiter shirt .
CAL; HAPPY NOW ! she yelled at Alexx pushing her chair back their figth bringing attention to them .
ALEXX; YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH CALLEIGH!
CAL OHH BELIEVE ME IM NOT DONE !I KEPT THE BEST FOR LAST ALEXX! MISS MY LIFE SO PERFECT MY KIDS ARE THE SWEETES MY HUSBAND SO LOVING YEAH RIGHT ! THAT WHY YOUR STUPID KID ALMOST GOT ARRESTED FOR MURDER AND YOU KNOW WHY YOUR HUBBY BUY YOU FLOWERS EACH TIME HE COMES BACK FROM THOSE '' BUSINESS TRIP ''' ITS BECAUSE HE FEEL GUILTY ...YEAH THATS RIGHT DEAR OLD BRIAN CHEATING ON YOU...
Before Calleigh could finish her sentence Alexx had push her chair has well and slap Calleigh across the face a collective gasp was heard through out the small bistro , the women gasp , the men smirked hoping for a catfight .Among the customer many of them were part of the lab and were already texting they coworker about the fight that was taking fold in front of them .
Boilling inside Calleigh felt her anger rising ,ALexx stared her down her chest heaving up and down she did all she could to not show Calleigh that she was deeply affected by their fight , fightitng her own tears from slipping down her cheek , But has she stared into the eyes of her dear friend she saw nothing but emptyness .
All she wanted was for Calleigh to react to reignite that spark that was long gone but Calleigh didnt moved appart for reaching for her purse slowly and quietly .Alexx tried to reach for her but Calleigh moved her arm away before Alexx could even touch her .
She Gave Alexx one last glared and thats when she knew , she knew that no mather that day that second their friendship would never be the same .
Has Calleigh walked away with her head held high while behind her the strong women that Alexx was crumble onto the table .Hiding her face into her hands the tears streaming donw her cheek .
Natalia and Maxine had watch the scene complety dumbfounded somehow they had thougth their little get together would somehow cheer Calleigh up and maybe ease the tense relationship between ALexx and her but now things had gone from bad to worst . Has they watch the back of their blonde friend walk away from them Maxine wiped a tear coming down her cheek while Natalia did her best to not let her feeling being show she shot a look at those who were still staring at them and soon everyone return to they conversation .
ALexx wiped her tear stain cheek and took a deep long breath facing her two young friends.
ALEXX: she ...she cant go on like this ! she said with a shaky breath .
Shaking their head Maxine and Natalia silently agreed with Alexx , after a long moment of silence Natalia had finnaly the courage to speak .
NAT: I know ...i know no one want to say this but shes too emotionnaly unstable to work ...we've been hoping she would get better ...obviously ...obviously she wont ...we have to stop trying to ignore the obvious she wont get better she needs help and we cant give it to her .
ALEXX: I'll talk to Horatio !
With her head held high Calleigh crossed the street to the lab she wasnt crying not even near it the only emotion she showed was her fist clutching the strap of her purse .
She pushed the glass door ignored the group of coworker that was looking at their smartphone and pointing to her whispering ,She rode the elevator the same way her head held hig her hand wrap around the strap of her purse , when the door opened to her floor she again ignored the group of coworkers whispering and poiting to her at the reception desk Paula not one to like gossip shoosh them away .
Making her way over to the front desk Calleigh sign herself in , Paula didnt even gave her a second look and simply threw Calleigh message in front of her , ever since their dissagreement the 2 women hadnt spoke to each other and barely gave each other a second look .
Reading her message Calleigh winced and made a crumbled the piece of paper in her hand and threw it across the front desk , Paula who always kept her desk spotless gave Calleigh a nasty looked picked the piece of paper then the small garbage and showed Calleigh how to properly disposed of trash .
Calleigh who couldnt care less kept reading her message going through them one by one until the last one and once again winced at the man audacity , how many time can someone say no until he would understand she wanted nothing to do with him.
Scrunching the paper again she carelessley threw it again across Paula front desk this time she wasnt let it pass .
PAULA: Seriously have you ever heard about garbage can ? she exclaimed throwing the paper back in front of calleigh .
CAL: And i thought i told you to not take his messages ! she spat back pushing the piece of paper again .
PAULA : contrary to what you think ''Calleigh'' i am not a secretary !
CAL: really could have fooled me !
Paula was about to reply something but when she saw Rick stetler walk out of the elevator she closed her mouth and pretended to work .Calleigh unaware of Rick presence behind her continue to glare at Paula.
RICK: OFFICER DUQUENESS ...CAINE OFFICE RIGHT NOW !
He yelled behind her and before she could turn around Rick was ahead of her toward .Calleigh made a disgusting face behind him before following Rick into Horatio office , who was surprised to see them .
HOR: Rick? Calleigh ? to what do i owe this visit ?
Rick closed the door behind them with a slam, he then face Calleigh and horatio who looked back between them wondering what was going on while Calleigh rolled her eyes at Rick.
RICK: SIT DOWN ! he told calleigh pointing to the nearest chair
With a scoffed Calleigh didnt listen crossing her arms over her chest defying Rick .
RICK: Suit yourself your only making this easy .
HOR: somebody want to explain to me whats going on ?
RICK: WHATS GOIGN ON CAINE IS THAT YOUR CSI HERE ..MADE THIS DEPARTMENT LOOK LIKE BUNCH OF REALITY TV STAR !
CAL: pff what the hell do you know about reality tv !
RICK: NOW NOT THE TIME TO BE SMART WITH ME DUQUESNE.
HOR; Will somebody tell me whats going on ?
RICK ; How about i show you instead ...may i ? he said pointing to Horatio computer
Moving out of Rick way Horatio focus on Calleigh whos face emotionless appart from the angry stared she'd been giving anyone lately .
After a few click Rick turned the screen toward them Horatio gave Calleigh one last look , turning her face away with rolled of the eyes she looked out from Horatio office , outside Maxine and Natalia were comning back from their disastrous lunch .
Horatio leaned foward giving his attention to the screen what he saw shock him and for the first time in his life he was truly dissapointed into his bullet girl .
RICK: IT's all over the net it's already gone viral ! he said with an angry tone to Horatio his hand on his hips .
CAL: So what ? we had a fight thats it none of your business !
RICK: IT BECOMES MY BUSINESS WHEN IN THE ERA OF TECHNOLOGY AND SMART PHONES EVERY LITTLE THING WE DO MAY TURN OUT ON THE INTERNET LIKE YOU JUST DID RIGHT NOW ...I THOUGHT YOU HAD LEARN YOUR LESSON FOR THAT WHOLE '' SOLVE A CRIME WITH CALLEIGH '' DEBACLE BUT YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDNT ...
HOR: Ok ok Calm down a minute will you ? Calleigh would you care to explain to me what happenned .
CAL: some people just dont like to hear the truth what can i say !
HOR: CALLEIGH ! he yelled before calming himself ...you told Alexx her husband was cheating on her !
CAL: so ?
Loosing patience Horatio pinched the bridge of his nose closing his eyes he missed the proud smirk on Rick face .
HOR: so Calleigh this is Alexx , Natalia and Maxine they your oldest friends !
RICK: THATS NOT THE POINT CAINE ...THE POINT IS SHE EMBARRASSED THIS DEPARTMENT !
HOR ; WILL YOU JUST LET ME DEAL WITH THIS !
RICK ; NO ! YOU'VE PROTECTED HER LONG ENOUGH SHES OUT OF CONTROL THERE BEEN COMPLAIN AFTER COMPLAIN ABOUT HER BEHAVIOR AND FRANKLY THE DEPARTMENT HAS ENOUGH ... SHE SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE AND REQUIRED TO SEEK PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP.
HOR ; WHAT ?
RICK ; THERE WILL BE NO ARGUING I ALREADY SPOKE TO THE CHIEF HE AGREE WITH MY DECISION ESPECIALLY AFTER HE JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE DEPARTMENT LAWYER APPARANTLY MISS DUQUESNE TOLD DELKO ...
CAL; DONT YOU DARE SAY HIS NAME ! she reacted for the first time screaming to the top of her lungs attracting more attention to the outside .Horatio afraid someone would film this closed the blind of his office something he should have done long ago
RICK :SEE SHES UNSTABLE !
Horatio came to stand between Calleigh and Rick putting his hands on Calleigh shoulders he tried to clam her but that only made her angrier she push them back and tried to get to Rick who smirk at her proud of finnaly breaking Horatio team .
HOR; CALM DOWN ! he finnaly yelled after her third attempt to pass by him .
CAL; YOU KNOW WHAT ...I DONT CARE YOU WANT TO SUSPEND ME ...GO AHEAD ..SEE IF I CARE ...
Reaching for her holster and badges on her waist Calleigh slammed it on Horatio desk .Horatio was mortified his heart stumping in his chest has he looked across the eyes of his once best csi , nothing there but a deep empty gazed .Horatio pulled her gun and badges out of Rick way before he could get a hold of it .
HOR: Calleigh dont do this ! you dont want to do this !
CAL: You have no idea on earth what i want Horatio
Horatio trying to keep calm about the situation and play referee between rick and Calleigh didnt know what to say anymore
RICK:You have no respect for anyone Duquenes not even your superior officer!he said with a smirk
Calleigh body tense her fist clenching at her side , it wouldnt take much for her to unleash everything she had been keeping inside and it would make things worst that Rick would be on the other end .
HOR: WILL YOU STOP IT STETLER , YOUR MAKING THINGS WORST !
RICK: YOU DONT GET A SAY IN THIS CAINE YOU'VE HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT ! SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD COUNSELING , LONG AGO TO DEAL WITH DELKO'S DEATH...
with her jaw clenching and her heart racing calleigh moved a step closer but was met by Horatio chest and hands who pushed her back has gently has he could .
CAL; SAY HIS NAME ONE MORE TIME AND YOU'll SEE WHAT HAPPEN!
Outside even though they couldnt see the fight everyone could clearly hear it Natalia nervously play with her cross around her neck .The whole situation breaking her heart but she also knew that concerning Calleigh this was a long time coming she jsut hope it had come in different way .
Anger by her defiance Rick reached for her gun and badges taken off the desk and into his hands like they were a trophy with one hand he pointed at her firmly .
RICK; IF IT WASNT FOR YOUR BIG MOUTH I WOULDNT BE IN THIS SITUATION .
HOR ; WHAT SITUATION ?
RICK:THE DELKOS ARE SUING THE DEPARTMENT , AND THE BOTH OF YOU!
Calleigh last wall finnaly stumble her knees buckling she did her best to keep a straight face in front of one of the man she hated more then anything .Shock has well Horatio looked back between Calleigh and Rick sitting on the edge of his desk to gather himself .
HOR: Calleigh ...what did you ..what happen ? he ask trying to not sound has if he was accusing her of anything .
Her hands moist , her mouth dry ,Calleigh felt ligth headed the room spinning around her the voices around her becoming distorted .
CAL: i...they...the ...cemetary ...
HAs she tried to speak the words came out in dissaray only making Rick grinned wider .
RICK: tell the truth Duquesne !
CAL: it...it was an ...accident !
RICK: An accident ! im sorry did you say an accident ! ohhh well all his forgiven , just like it was an accident that you actually shot a friendly officer .He said with a sarcastic tone .
HOR: YOUR OUT OF LINE ! he stood on his feet facing Rick with his hand on his hips he stared the sergeant down while Calleigh world was literrally crumbling around her .She couldnt take anymore , question would be ask and answer would have to be given .
RICK ; OUT OF LINE ! THE WHOLE CSI DEPARTMENT HAS BEEN OUT OF LINE FOR YEARS CAINE ! IT WAS ONLY A MATHER OF TIME BEFORE YOU HAD TO ANSWER QUESTION ...HOW MANY OF YOUR MENS WILL DIE UNTIL YOU REALISED THAT YOUR RECKLESS BEHAVIOR IS DANGEROUS ! SHE KILLED CSI DELKO...
Rick didnt have time to finish his sentence a right hook coming from Calleigh hit him square in the jaw surprising both men in the room .Rick fell on his back yelping in pain has he did the back of his head hitting the floor while Horatio caught Calleigh around the waist before she could indulge further damaged .But she kick and wiggle scream profanities at the man many dispised .
CAL ; DONT SAY HIS NAME I TOLD YOU DONT SAY HIS NAME YOU SON OF BITCH ...I HATE YOU ...
the screaming continue on has Hoatio struggle to overpower the petite women in his arms , Outside the screaming had gather more attention but the crash that they heard made Natalia and Maxine step closer with hesitance .
Behind them the elevator opened but everyone was too busy listneing to the fight inside Horatio to notice Ryan and Jake coming back from a long day at court completly unaware of the current situation .
JAKE: Im telling you dude that hot new D.A was so making eye sex at you .
RYAN : Nahhh she was just happy we won the case !
Laughing Jake tap his shoulder harshly has they walk further into the lab still unaware of anything .
JAKE: Man your so in love with that Boa Vista that you dont even see when a girl so want to rock your world !
Has Jake laugh louder Ryan rolled his eyes his face then frowning when he notice that apparantly no one was working right now .
RYAN : what the hell is going on ?
JAKE; Beats me !
Seeing Maxine and Natalia to the front they made their way through the crowd has they came to stand beside them Rayn quickly notice Natalia fiddling with her cross which wasnt a good sign .
RYAN : Hey ...whats going on ?
NAT: were not sure , Horatio in there with Rick and Calleigh they were arguing until it's been quiet for a while now .
JAKE: and you guys are just standing there ?
MAX: what the hell you want us to do Calleigh royally pissed off judging from our diner and the sound of her voices in there, she does have a gun you know .
RYAN : what happened at diner ?
A pang of sadness hit both Maxine and Natalia faces the twoo women looked at each other before looking down at the ground leaving Ryan question somewhat unanswer.
Jake and Ryan looked at each other wondering what could have possible happen at diner to set off Calleigh this way .
''I HATE YOU ...BASTARD ...DONT SAY HIS NAME EVER AGAIN '''
They heard Calleigh yelling from Horatio office Having enough Jake took a step forward then another until he made his way to Horatio door just has he was about to open it Horatio door came open and very distraught Rick walked off his mouth bleeding and his front shirt stain with blood .
Jake could have swear he had front tooth missing
JAKE; what the ...?
RICK: i want her arrested !he mumbled behind his hand covering his mouth .
Jake peeked inside Horatio office and saw Calleigh at the far wall panting her fist tightening at her side so much that her knuckles were bare white .
Horatio stood in dangerous water standing between her and the object of her frustation Rick who wisely had stepped out of his office before Calleigh could administer more damaged .
HOR; CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW ! he yelled at the top of his lungs giving Calleigh no choice but too sit down her leg shaking from the adrenaline she was still on .
Once Horatio was sure she wouldnt move or do anything else he turn to jake and said .
HOR: Keep an eye on her i'll deal with Rick .
CAL: I dont need a freaking babysitter !
HOR: then stop acting like a baby !he said harshly before walking out ...
For long agonising second Jake didnt say anything , he jsut stared at her , stared at the woman he didnt recognised anymore who had deniflty stepped over the edge and was falling deeper that he could help her .
CAL: what the hell you looking at !
JAKE; i dont know you tell me ?
Scoffing Calleigh looked away with her arms crossed over her chest shutting herself even more form the outside world .
Rubbing his forehead Jake kneeled in front of her attempting one last approach in hope that she would listen .
JAKE: looked i get it ok ...
Snapping her head back at Jake she glared at him in such a way she gave Jake no choice but stop on his words .
CAL; NO YOU DONT ...AND DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT YOU CAN ''TRY '' TO LISTEN ...I AM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE COMING UP TO ME AND ACTING HAS IF THEY CARE ...
JAKE ; But we do ...
Pushing herself on her feet Calleigh gave jake no choice but to straighten himself , he took a step back when she stood too close for comfort .
CAL; YOU MAY CARE BUT I DONT ! I DONT CARE ABOUT STUPID DINER WITH FRIENDS OR THEY FAMILY OR ANYTHING ELSE ...AND DONT THINK I DONT KNOW THAT YOU PLANTED THAT RIDICULOUS IDEA ABOUT A DAY AT THE SPA TO MAXINE ...YOU THINK IM STUPID OR WHAT ...READ MY LIPS JAKE ...I...DONT ...CARE...BETTER YET I DONT GIVE A FREAKING DAMN ABOUT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE ...SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE !
JAKE ; AND THEN WHAT HUH? YOUR GONNA PRETEND LIKE YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS , LIKE YOU DONT CARE ...BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DO CALLEIGH I KNOW YOU CARE YOU JUST SCARED ...SCARED TO LOVE AGAIN AND TO GET YOUR HEART BROKEN ...AGAIN ...
CAL; DONT ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ME JAKE ...YOU DONT...WHERE WERE YOU THE LAST THREE YEARS? NOWHERE ...NOT ONE PHONE CALL NOT EVEN AN EMAIL YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS DEAD ...YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME !
JAKE ; IM HERE NOW ...I CAN HELP ! I CAN UNDERSTAND !
Stomping her foot on the ground highly annoyed at his stubborness to help her with a long and painfull breath she spoke quietly this time but in a chilly voices that raised goosebump onto Jake arms.
CAL; you...cant help ...because surely you cant understand how it feels to loose not only the man you loved but your best friend , your better half , your soul mate ...and you know the irony of it i didnt know how important he was too me until he was gone !Every day i wake up missing him more then the day before and there are night when i close my eyes where i can picture him so clearly sleeping next and other night where i cant even remenber his face , then there the morning for one tiny second before i open my eyes ...one split second where i forget everthing ... but then ...then im back to where i began so please Jake dont you dare tell me you can possibly understand and frankly Jake i dont want any help ...i just want to left alone where people dont remind me every day of him is that too hard to understand !
To say Jake was speechless was an understatement , he didnt know what to say anymore had no idea how to reach out to her after her speech she simply sat back on her chair and looked ou the window waiting fro Horatio to come back .Jake stood in the middle of Horatio office his arms falling limply next to his body it was then he realised he couldnt help her .
Horatio came back shortly after his anger still evident in his posture , he closed the door behind him . not wanting anymore attention then this whole mess had already had outside everyone had gone back to work under his order , even though he knew her friends where keeping a close eyes on the situation .
HOR: what the hell where you thinking ?
She didnt answer didnt even look at him , Horatio looked back between her and Jake and for a second once again stared at her .
HOR: fine thats the way you want to play it Calleigh ? i wont bother you with explanation since i dont even know if you cared about them anymore but your suspended until further review .
CAL: fine can i go now ?
HOR: Is that all you have to say ?
CAL: yes can i go now ? she said again her face straight with no trace of emotion .
HOR: You dont even care do you ? It took all i had in me to convince Rick to not press charges agaisnt you .
CAL: i guess i should say thank you ! now ...can ...i ...go ! or to i have to endure another one of your boring speech .
Before he lost his temper again Horatio stood back giving her access to his office door .She stood on her feet not even bothering to look at either Jake or Horatio and walked away.
They watched her leave from his office she got into the elevator and never looked back .
JAKE: How long is she suspended for ?
HOR: until she realised she needs help .
JAKE : That may never happen .
HOR: Lets hope not ! he answer sadly before walking back into his office and closing the door behind him .Sitting in his chair he thought back at all the events in his life of all the wrong choice he had made in the past especially those leadign to Eric death .He knew he should have handle things different and admit to Calleigh the truth but Horatio had amde a promises that he coulndt break .
In a waved of frustation Horatio pushed everything off his desk and slam his fist agaisnt his desk .
Covering his face with both his hands he thought for a second aboutt he next step to take after long minutes of debating with himself he let out a long sight and wondered if he should break the promised he had made to Eric .
After the whole Calleigh debacle the lab had been running quietly most of the occupants were in shock that she had been suspended .For most of them calleigh was a figure in the lab someone you get use to see so much everyday that once they gone something doesnt feel quite right .
But those who knew her well knew that this had been a longtime coming , 3 years to be exact ,almost 4 . And has Natalia finished her shift she didnt move form the stool she had been sitting on , staring into space , Calleigh words vibrating in her head , was she right , could she have been taken ryan for granted and used him in a way that satisfied her .
She had been blind that she admit , blind to his feeling for her and maybe a little selfish , but using ryan she never thought of that .But again ryan had always beent here from the get go , from the moment she found out she was pregnant and that Jesse wanted nothing to do with her or the baby .That alone should have raised a flag considering their past , but what past was that one date 6 years ago and a one night stand brought on by grief 3 years ago.
Afterward they had both agree they were better off friends and they never looked back , at least she did , now she knew that for Ryan it was different he felt for her nad hard so hard that he pretended he didnt , didnt say anything when she dated Jesse even though she knew Ryan didnt like him but mostly he stood by her through stick and stone , held her hand while she push , went with her to every doctor appointement and how did she repay him by breaking his heart just over a week ago .
Now Natalia felt completly lost like in another dimension her best friend was having a mental breakdown and Natalia had no idea how to help her and her other best friend she broke his heart , broke his heart because she was scare , Calleigh had been right she was scare of her feeling for him , scare to actually let herself be happy and be love .
And now here they were his feeling out in the open and just has always Ryan kept his promises ,things didnt change between them he was still her best friends and still acted like it and still was Joey father figure .But when she looked closely she could see the longing in his eyes mixed with sadnesss and how hard he tried to hide it she couldnt denied anymore that it was there and it killed her that she was responsible .
Slipping donw the stool she'd been sitting on she looked at her watch and realised her shift had been over for half an hour and that it was almost time to pick Joey from kindergarten .
Has she walked the walls of the lab with her mind elsewhere she drifted to all those night she spend alone ever since she got Joey , to all those sacrifice she had made for her little man , but they were worth it she would never looked back and would never have regret when it came to her sweet little boy .But sometimes she felt lonely long for that company that a partner could bring .
There were nigths ever since she had told ryan she couldnt return his feeling the way he did where she wonder if she hadnt make a mistake if she hadnt let pass an opportunity that wouldnt come twice in a lifetime .She had many restless night ever since .
Has if destiny was calling on her she crossed the threshold of the locker room and there he was his back to her ready to go just has she was .
NAT: HEY! she called out cheerfully .
RYAN : Hey ! he answer bakc half turning his body to face her with a faint smile .
NAT: I didnt have time to ask you how was court today .
RYAN : was good we won !
With his back still to her he closed his locker and put his bag around his shoulder finnaly turning to face her he smiled brightly before his eyes cast down on the ground unable to look at her any longer without feeling like his heart was pouring out .
NAT: thats good ! she smiled back feeling awkward herself .
RYAN : yeah ..Jake thinks the new D.A was flirting with me !
A waved of panic hit Natalia inside , what if ryan moved on already , but then she felt selfish , move on from what she hadnt given him anything to move on from .
NAT: ohhh ..was she cute at least .
RYAN: i dont know ! he answer shrugging his shoulder ...i was focusing on the case .
NAT: right !
Awkwardly they stood in the middle of the locker room staring at the ground nodding their head for what seems eternity .Eager to pass by the awkwardness Natalia quickly found a change of subject .
NAT: HEY! she said a little too loud making ryan jump ...You ..you want to come with me pick joey up then we could grab some take out and i thought we could make the christmas tree .
Ryan scratch the back of his neck feeling somewhat bad about the answer he was about to give her , like he was lettign her and Joey down .
RYAN : i...i cant ..i got somewhere to go .
NAT: ohh ok ?
she wanted to ask , desperatly wanted to ask him waht was so important that he couldnt spend times with them but again she felt selfish , she couldnt , what ever Ryan did on his downtime was his own business .
RYAN: But you go ahead without me !
Looking at his watch ryan found an excuse to walk out of the very uneasy conversation they seemed to be having .
RYAN : and im running late sorry Nat...i'll see you later ok !
With a nod she watch him dash out has if she had the plague long after he was gone she rested agaisnt her locker and felt a bit of jealousy about that DA flirting with him , even though Ryan didnt seem the bit unphased by the flirting DA Natalia couldnt help but feel that someone was playing on her territory .
Shaking her head she berated herself telling herself that she didnt own him or that he didnt owe her anything .Opening her locker she grabed her stuff and headed out to pcik up Joey she could already see the little boy dissapointement when he would learn Ryan wouldnt be there to dot he christmas tree with them .
Driving along coconut drive ryan rubbed his cheek with the palm of his hand doing his best to keep himself awake and focus on the road .Ever since Natlaia confrontation about his feelings for her , he had restless night more then usual ,his heart was broken that he coudlnt denied and for years he had known that she didnt return his feeling but nothing would have prepared him for the amount of pain he was feeling right now .
Ryan had his heart broken twice in his life once when he was 22 years old and his girlfriend of 4 years , Sandra ,broke up with him , it took him a while to get over her and after that for years he had meaningless date . Dated women he liked but didnt loved that was until he met Natalia and from that point a slow burn had form in his heart until that flame became so unbearable that he couldnt deny it anymore he was madly deeply truly in love with her .
No mather what he did , how much he tried to hide it Natalia would always come back to haunt him , like his heart was refusing to give up .Which was part of the reason why he got involved with Jasmine , a relationship based on a lie from the get go , he cared about Jasmine at first and convinced himself he could with time actually loved her , but then she turn into dr jekyll and mr hyde .A relationship Ryan would never regret breaking off .
Too lost in his thought ryan didnt notice the car behind him following him from a far , inside the mini cooper the devil herself the machinaton of ryan many physical pain , Jasmine .
Back at the lab in the parking lot something wasnt happening , has much has he tried Jake motocyle wouldnt start , worried baout Calleigh he wanted to check on her immedialty , even though Horatio had ask everyone to give her space and leave her alone for a few days , Jake was worried she wasnt answering neither her cell phone or home phone and even though he knew it could get him shot , he was going to check on her no mather what .
than you for those who reviews the last chapters again they make me smile and push me to writte more :D