Quote/Song Quote/Part of a song:
"Your memory is a monster; you forget—it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you—and summons them to your recall with will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you!"
― John Irving (A Prayer for Owen Meany)
"You know what I think?" she says. "That people's memories are maybe the fuel they burn to stay alive. Whether those memories have any actual importance or not, it doesn't matter as far as the maintenance of life is concerned. They're all just fuel. Advertising fillers in the newspaper, philosophy books, dirty pictures in a magazine, a bundle of ten-thousand-yen bills: when you feed 'em to the fire, they're all just paper. The fire isn't thinking 'Oh, this is Kant,' or 'Oh, this is the Yomiuri evening edition,' or 'Nice tits,' while it burns. To the fire, they're nothing but scraps of paper. It's the exact same thing. Important memories, not-so-important memories, totally useless memories: there's no distinction-they're all just fuel."
― Haruki Murakami, After Dark
(Sorry couldn't decide which quote for this chapter)
Chapter 13:
Zach's P.O.V:
Burning. I was burning with pain, guilt, and regret. It was my fault! It was my fault that she fell in love with me! Maybe if I didn't let her in my walls, just maybe she would be safer.
I hit my fist to the ground letting the pain consume my fist. I liked it. I liked the numbing feeling, as if it was taking away the pain from my heart for a while. I repeated what I was doing until I processed that this was bad and wasn't healthy for me. Cammie wouldn't like what I'm doing to myself.
Cammie.
Why would Cammie care? She doesn't even remember me, which of course leads back to me saying that most of that is my fault. Cammie might have been just fine if she wasn't under my wing. She was the only girl that I have ever been with that actually understood me. She would have probably been the girl of my life in the future having spy kids, going on missions together, growing old together, and then eventually dying together. I heard footsteps behind me as I was having my little thought session with myself. I slashed my head to the side seeing nothing. Shaking my head I stand up and wipe away the dirt on my pants and fists. I take a deep breath and run my fingers through my hair as I walk away from the dreary sight forgetting anything ever happened, but a spy never forgets his weaknesses and flaws.
Chapter 14:
Third Person P.O.V:
Cammie Morgan laid in her hospital bed alone…again. She didn't like the fact of not remembering or not being able to know what's going on in her life without crying. She needed relief and she was determined to get it. She did the unexpected and grabbed the metal knife her 'mother' left when she was eating by Cammie. She rolled up her hospital gown sleeve and slashed the knife into her bare skin leaving a trail of oozing blood behind.
She was fascinated and amused at the feeling of satisfaction that it left behind. She smiled as she slashed three more marks on her wrists.
Cameron Morgan wasn't stupid. She was a spy legacy after all. She knew this wasn't healthy for her but she also knew in her messed up mind that being like this was normal. She also knew how to cover things up making people question the unquestionable. She was a pavement artist, she could blend, run, and hide into anything or run, blend, hide anything from people. She knew the Model Girl left her some of her belongings that were in her dorm from before. So when her eyes caught the sight of the Lancome foundation bottle she knew it would be okay since she could cover it up easily. She wiped her wound with the antibacterial wipes.
The cool stinging pain made her flinch as she cleared any sight of blood. After about a couple minutes she let her skin dry then she reached over to the cabinet drawer and grabbed the foundation bottle. She squirted a toothpaste amount onto her finger and blended it to her wrists. She then grabbed bronzer and brushed a light amount on top of her wrist making it look like nothing ever happened. She smiled in satisfaction as she pulled the sleeve back down and pulled the blanket over her chest and cuddled into it falling asleep.
Now, you must be thinking about cameras in the infirmary, but like I said Cammie wasn't stupid. Whoever made her forget, only made her forget her friends, family, most of her summer, and a couple of years in her life. She still had a lot of her spy training lessons and the map of the school glued into her mind. She knew there was a security cable line hidden behind the cabinet beside her. So she did what spies do best. She acted and changed herself. So when she was yawning she stretched her arms out secretly grabbing a pair of scissors and snapping the little cord. Then acted back to the 'New Cammie Normal'.
Cammie isn't the same girl and everybody knows it. You can say she changed, but in reality at the moment she's a different girl. Her mind is dirtier and she thinks differently then what she used too. The real Cammie is deep inside stored into a filing cabinet waiting to be opened…but how long that will take is unknown.
A/N: Hey mates! THANK YOU SO, SO, SO, SO, much for the reviews, favorites, and following! It makes my day! I wasn't very pleased with the chapter, it was more like a filler. IMPORTANT: Okay guys my schedule is hectic so I'm not going to update unless I have a very good reason. REASON: I need 6 or more reviews please! Thanks. Have a nice day/night/afternoon.