Soo this is gonna be one long chapter prepared!
Warning: this chapter contains a bit of vulgar language, swear words etc. Also the start has an italic part with more graphic content... and you can skip it if you cant take it. I felt like it belonged in this chapter so sorry if it made you upset.
"I don't wanna be alone."
"Neither do I."
His hands were roaming her body, burning her soft skin, purposely avoiding her most sensitive spots. Remorse creeps into his mind quicker than she thought it would, "Do you want me to stop?" She didn't reply, he leans forward and takes her lips by force. When she wriggles uncomfortably under his touch he puts his entire body's weight on her and uses his hand to hold her face, "Now is your last chance." He releases his hold on her giving her that final chance to leave. She sits up and breathes out heavily, staring out into the darkness. For a moment everything is still. The whole world stops. She knows what she wants right now. The smell of smoke wafts into her nose and she sucks the scent greedily into her lungs. She turns to him and he gives her the cigarette. She stares at the white stick and crushes the tip of the cigarette against the table. She is not going anywhere. With that he grabs her and pulls her down, rolling and pinning her. He wasn't waiting any longer. She didn't even have time to close her eyes when he finally goes for it. She is totally at his mercy as he thrusts against her at his pace, moving her entire body as he pleases. Every time he thrusts up into her, her eyes tear up as her body tenses again from pain. The pain she feels, she deserves. He continues rougher, harder; causing her eyes to roll in back of her head and she gasps in surprise. The rush also surges through him and he gasps, collapsing on her, breathing heavily next to her face.
Gasping, Jenny's eyes flew open and she sat up in her bed. She was shaking uncontrollably and her whole body was covered in sweat that felt scratchy and cold. She held her hands over her eyes and took a moment to calm down, "What the hell…" She muttered to herself and tried to forget what had replayed in her dreams. She looked at the clock and sighed. It was only 3am. She got out of the bed and tried not to wakeup Allison or Charlie.
Jenny clicked the light switch inside the bathroom and closed the door quietly. Her eyes were gritty and she tried to rub the sleep out of them without any luck. She decided to turn on the bath taps, the stiff Victorian bathtub giving up reluctantly under her weak wrists. The blonde cursed and sat on the edge of the bathtub waiting it to fill. She thought she was done thinking about course this memory had to resurface right now when she was supposed to come face to face with Chuck. For some reason she felt even dirtier, and so she poured a generous amount of lavender bath bubbles under the running tap until it began to fill the room with the fragrance. She took a deep breath and stripped out of her clothes. Soon Jenny found herself vigorously scrubbing her body till her skin turned red. Couple of tears escaped her eyes as everything was starting to feel overwhelming again. She didn't deal well under pressure. It was all she could think of- Her mistakes and what came out of them… Charlie. The only person she would dedicate her life to. Charlie was her world and the fact that she had to be willing to share him with someone scared her. 'Not that she even thought it would actually happen. This was Chuck Bass after all. He would probably laugh at her and ask her to leave- which she desperately hoped would happen.
Jenny pulled a towel decorated with the hotels initials from the towel rack and wrapped herself in it as she stepped out of the bath - she was feeling better already. At least it was over, she was clean, she was soaped and she was empty. The face that stared back at her from the bathroom mirror was tired. Tired of the lies and wanted to get this over with. She wanted to leave this damn place and never come back. Her freshly washed hair hung in grubby, ropy strands around her face.
"Jenny?"
She waited a moment to collect herself before opening the bathroom door.
Allison stared at the soaked girl and opened her arms, "it's okay. It's going to be okay hun."
Her face crumbled within seconds and she decided to cling to her mom like she had when she was a little girl after seeing a nightmare.
Dan looked at the two untouched pieces of bacon and egg on his dads plate and wondered for a second before finally opening his mouth, "Dad, you alright?"
Rufus closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. Truthfully he hadn't slept at all. There was a battle inside him every waking moment. He just wanted to storm out of the door and find him. Take out his anger at someone who in his opinion deserved it. On the other hand he wanted to sleep for a hundred years and forget about what was going on. He counted to fifty under his breath, and when he opened his eyes again, he was relieved that the image of his daughter with Chuck Bass was gone. He could see the curious face of Dan in front of him, "It's just a headache. I'm sure it will pass soon."
"If you say so," He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, sipping at his orange juice, "Did Serena come home last night?"
Rufus stared at the breakfast table ignoring his son's voice.
"Dad?"
"Huh?" He couldn't bring himself to look at him and kept his gaze locked on the table. For a moment he hoped that they all just left him alone.
"Did Serena come home last night?" He repeated his question with mild annoyance.
"No I don't think so," His dad said as clearly as he could manage, "I'm not sure Dan." Rufus finished his black coffee in a hurry, got up and simply walked off the room without saying another word.
Dan sat there dumbfounded by his behavior. His dad was a morning person. He was the one who loved being able to use the bathroom without it being a complete chaos and snatch a look at the newspaper before the comics were stolen.
"Morning," Lily walked into the kitchen and immediately poured herself coffee. The bitter liquid hit her stomach and made her feel sick, but at least she could rely on the caffeine. Hopefully it would wake her properly since worrying about Rufus and Jenny kept her awake through the whole night. She turned to look at Dan and smiled weakly, "Did you sleep okay?"
"Yeah..." He could see that something had happened. Dan wasn't stupid enough to miss the dark circles around Lily's and Rufus's eyes, "Seems like I was the only one who did."
She tried to ignore his gaze and replied coolly, "Just one of those nights." Lily didn't like lying, but she knew this was necessary.
"If you say so," Dan repeated and chuckled, "By the way did you see Serena come home last night?" Sure he knew both Rufus and Lily were lying and hiding something, but right now he couldn't wrap his brains around new problems when he seemed to saddle himself with new problems and conflicts every day, "I'm just asking to know… She might have said something and I'm just-"
"Dan," Lily interrupted his blabbering, "She texted me that she was staying with Blair. Girls night."
"Oh.."
She looked at the young man and couldn't help but to smile. She once was young and knew that complicated relationships were part of being young and the drama came with it. Even while thinking about good memories, it felt like the calm before the storm.
This day wouldn't end well.
Jenny packed her essentials in a black leather bag and finally pulled her hair into a messy ponytail. Clearly she was starting to get nervous, her stomach was clenching and she felt like throwing up her guts.
"Are you sure about this?" Allison questioned sincerely as she watched her daughter walk back and forth, fidget with everything she touched.
Her body trembled with the emotions racing through her, "Soon as I deal with everything- the sooner we are out here and can go home." Taking a deep breath she went to Charlie's crib and picked up him up, "I'm doing this for my baby boy." She kissed the boys cheek and smiled at him.
"Did you tell Rufus and Lily about your plans?"
"I figured I could tell them afterwards," she said softly, keeping her eyes on the child as she cradled him to her chest, "I don't want dad to worry about me, there is no reason."
The young grandmothers posture stiffened, "Just remember to talk to him about child support."
The girl twisted her lips into an irritated line, "Mom, I'm not going to talk about this again. I don't want anything from him. I'm telling him the truth and that's it," She wasn't sure if she believed her own words, but continued, "I want closure and soon as he knows- we are free from all of this, all of the lies and the hiding. I don't care for his money or his opinions about my child. Just because he was there that night..." She swallowed nervously, "it doesn't make him a dad or make him responsible for him."
"Then we need to start discussing about a job or something else-"
"I'll figure it out later!" Jenny gave her an intent stare, "I want to get through this day. Don't make it any harder for me please."
Allison could almost feel the hostility radiating from her daughter, "I didn't mean to upset you... but Jenny, you need to realize it's not going to be easy and sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to."
"Thanks for being supportive mom," The teenager sighed, but decided to deal with her later and turned her attention to the person who deserved it. Jenny kissed protectively Charlie's head and bounced him on her arms, "Don't worry baby. We are going home soon."
Allison watched Jenny anxiously knowing that it wouldn't be that simple.
"What's with the frown?"
She gave him a look, but returned to her gin martini in silence.
Nate eyed Blair, her posture was someway different, her shoulders were softer and she wasn't holding herself in her usual tense and protective manner. In fact everything about her seemed relaxed except for that fiery hardness her eyes still possessed.
"Did Serena call you to babysit?"
He slipped on the bar stool next to her.
"Since when does Blair Waldorf need babysitting?" Nate commented, squirming a little as usual under the brunette's intense gaze, "She may have mentioned that you were here alone and maybe wanted someone to talk to."
"Well for one, I'm fine…' She paused for a moment not wishing to provoke any pity, "I'm celebrating actually."
"Celebrating?"
"Life," Blair stated slightly upset, it was taking all her strength just to keep her mask intact when all she wanted to do was lay her head down on the counter and burst into tears, "Celebrating life."
"You shouldn't let him do this to you anymore," He had known her long enough to tell what was on her mind, "I'm tired of everybody getting screwed over by him."
"Literally." She stated, letting out a muffled laugh.
"You know what I mean," Nate reasoned, "It's better this way. He has been out of our lives for a good time now and think how much easier it has been. Sure I admit I have my moments and miss his sorry ass," He nudged her playfully, "Don't tell anyone I said that."
Blair smiled slightly. She knew it hadn't been easy on him either. It wasn't exactly the first time Chuck had hurt Nate. Ever since younger they had been close friends, best friends. The difference between them was the fact that the other one was faithful to their friendship and the other was not. Chuck had a colorful past of lying, cheating and hurting people's feelings, but Nate wasn't an angel either. They all had made mistakes, but unlike the rest of them Chuck didn't seem learn from them. They all had their issues too and whenever Chuck acted out during their relationship she had blamed it on his childhood and eventually forgave his antics because she felt like she needed to feel sorry for him, sort of. Blair loved to hate him and hated to love him. He just had this grip on her that she couldn't understand.
"I'm not upset because of Chuck." She said, exhaling, too exhausted to argue.
Nate leaned closer to Blair, and she didn't move, maintaining eye contact.
"What is it?" He asked tentatively, his eyes narrowing as he watched the play of emotions dance across her features.
"Every time I know she is in town it all comes back," She groaned aloud, grasping her glass and throwing back another gulp, "I'm done with him and she comes back to remind me of what she took from me."
Wide-eyed, Nate swallowed, "Jenny is back?"
"Supposedly just visiting her family," Blair spat, "It doesn't really warm my heart that she can come and go as she pleases while I look like an idiot in everybody's eyes."
"Blair you're not an idiot and no one thinks of you like that," He stated, trying to ignore the remark, "Besides it doesn't matter. Let both of them live their lives right? Meanwhile we keep moving on like we have for the past months."
"You don't really believe that do you?" She argued distastefully, "We have been doing nothing for the past six months or so. Our lives are as boring as Dan Humphrey's wardrobe, and that Nathaniel is a sign of the world coming to an end."
Nate's eyebrows rose, "So what you're saying is that, being cheated on by your jackass boyfriend is much better than moving on with your life and actually accomplishing something?" Blair wanted to interrupt him, but he went on, "And making into Gossip Girls post's doesn't qualify as an accomplishment."
Blair blinked down at him, seemingly having difficulty as to whether to be her usual snide self or to allow him some mercy, "Doesn't change the fact that we are stuck. Both of us."
He ran a hand through his unkempt, hair and sighed. He knew what and who she was referring to this time- 'Stop,' he commanded himself, trying not to think about the past and leaned against the counter, speechless.
The fierce brunette knew that she had hit a soft spot.
She knew he felt the exactly same way as she did hours ago when she had seen the innocent face of Jenny Humphrey flash before her eyes.
"You need a drink."
Chuck sat on the sofa inside his penthouse suite and rubbed his temples exhaustedly. He had moved after Nate packed his last belongings and told him to basically piss off. Ironically, he chose to move into the upstairs penthouse suite and it was a good match since his life was already empty and void. He looked around the room, thinking of a distraction for himself. He pulled out his phone, searching around for a second before finding it and checked his messages. Obviously there were none. Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door and the man just assumed it was room service since there was nobody he was expecting. Lazily, he walked up to the door and opened it without much thinking.
He didn't look shocked, or at least didn't show it to the person staring back at him.
"Are you going to invite me in or are we going to just stand here?"
Chuck didn't know what she was playing at, but after a moment of thinking stepped out her way and walked back into the room. She followed him and closed the door.
"Well this brings back a lot of memories," He turned around and snapped his gaze at her, "You, me and a hotel room."
Jenny hadn't remembered how obnoxious he could be and shook her head. Ten minutes ago she had been outside of the same door shaking in her leather boots. This was supposed to be the most nerve-racking experience of her life and for some reason she didn't feel intimidated at all by him.
"What do you want?" His voice turned serious.
She stared back, not sure how to say it, "Nothing from you."
He didn't give her the chance to go further into detail and snapped back, "Shouldn't you be at the trailer park with the rest of your family?"
His tone was still harsh and intense.
"If by trailer park you mean Hudson, true I should," She muttered and continued, "Something happened- and unfortunately I have to deal with it now."
"I don't see how does that add up with you being here," Chuck sneered, eyes darkening maliciously, "You want my forgiveness?"
The blonde's glare darkened, "I wouldn't travel back here just to drop on my knees and beg for your approval Chuck."
"That's funny," He drawled, "I remember you exactly like that."
"You're disgusting."
"Did you come here to just insult me or is there a point to this visit?" He was starting to get anxious, his eyes unfocused and wild.
The confident girl had promised herself she wouldn't let him get to her and she would just get to the point without allowing it to turn into a shouting match.
She didn't know exactly how to tell him, but then the words just came out of her mouth, "I got pregnant after that night," The blonde stared at him with a hard glint through her glossy eyes, "You have a son Chuck."
Chuck's face remained the same and he just seemed to stand there. No reaction was coming out of him. He then without a warning, walked calmly over to the table across the room and took a small rather thin book out of the first drawer.
She watched him curiously as Chuck sat down on the sofa and took a pen out of his pocket, "How much?"
Jenny raised her eyebrows, confused, "What?"
"Money," He drawled slowly before slithering his tongue over his lips and making a smacking sound before snapping it back into his mouth, "How much do you want?"
"I'm not taking your money." She announced in a shaky voice.
He didn't look happy, "I wasn't asking," his tone dripping with dark sarcasm, "How much?"
"I don't want your money Chuck!"
Chuck raised his gaze and spat "Fifty thousand? What? Just tell me!"
No." Jenny whispered in a firm, articulate voice, her eyes never wavering from him.
He then got up and took a step closer to her, "Just take the fucking money and leave."
From beneath her lashes, she sent him a challenging stare, "You don't even care to know what's his name? You don't care how old he is now or-"
"I don't care if he was half monkey when he was born! Just take the money and leave!"
Jenny couldn't comprehend his reaction, "How are you even sure that I'm not lying?"
Chuck didn't answer her, instead he pushed the check he had written on her hands, "What part of I don't care do you not understand?"
She looked at the check in her hands and then looked back at him, "I didn't know you were this pathetic," The blonde shredded the check into pieces right in front of his eyes, "I only came here to tell you the truth. I didn't tell you about him because I wanted your money, I told you because I felt like you had the right to know! But apparently I was wrong. You don't deserve anything from me."
He didn't even flinch. Seconds later his left hand, strong enough to bend steel, grabbed her arm, "Then leave," His stance was rigid and tense, "Do us a favor and jump in the fucking Hudson river- frankly nobody would give a shit."
"You're hurting me." Her voice was utterly calm, even though it felt like her bones were creaking under the pressure.
Chuck pushed her towards the door and opened it, shoving her outside and slamming the door behind her. Jenny stood outside the door and rubbed the arm he had grabbed, not understanding his reaction at all. She should have felt relieved that he didn't want anything to do with Charlie or to know about him. Instead surprisingly she felt angry and upset that he didn't care. He had just disowned his son without much thinking about it and it enraged her. This was her little boy. He deserved more than this.
She turned to face the door and leaned in closer. Jenny knew she would end up regretting this, "His name is Charlie Daniel Humphrey and he is almost seven months old." She said loudly enough for him to hear through the door, "He learned to crawl about a month ago and has been moving around like a wild child ever since. He also sits up without my support these days and he babbles a lot-" Jenny choked up, her lips quivering, "And he is the most important thing in this world to me Chuck." She took a deep breath and continued, "He has your name because I need you to know that there is another person in this world with your blood and your name and he is going to be an amazing person- He is going to accomplish good things and be good to people unlike you. One day you're going to read his name from somewhere and you will know that he is everything that you always wanted to be," Her emotions got the best of her, "I'm going to make sure he will never be as heartless and cold as you Chuck!"
Jenny tried to listen any movement coming from the room, but it was still silent, "I know that I'm going to regret this, but I'm leaving in two days and after that I won't be coming back here with Charlie. If you want to see him and tell him goodbye I'm fine with it."
She wiped the tear from the corner of her eye and knew she had done the right thing.
She had tried for Charlie and if he didn't want to approach the subject ever again, so be it.
At least she had tried.
Thanks for reading and leaving many reviews on the previous chapter :)
Keep em coming they really inspire me!
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