Sorry for not updatin (AGAIN) I didn't have internet because my stupid ex boyfriend fcked up my life and I had to move out and get a new apartment etc and I literally couldnt afford anything for over a month! -_- Atleast I had time to write a good chapter and really think where Im going with this story :)
The little guy seemed to be a sucker for music. Lily walked the hall and bounced Charlie in her arms soothingly. Soon as she had started humming he had calmed down. There he was half asleep as she hummed an old lullaby. She didn't even remember when was the last time she had cradled a baby in her arms like this.
"You know," A soft, slightly rough voice said from the other end of the hallway, "I think he likes you better than me." Allison stepped closer and smiled, "I've never seen this jitterbug so relaxed in someone else's arms than his mommy's."
Lily smiled back, "Well I have to admit this is the first time I'm holding a baby who is actually enjoying being held. Serena and Eric were never really easy ones."
Allison peered down her grandchild, "It's a shame."
"What is?"
"He is stuck in the middle of two completely different worlds," She said softly, but it sounded like her throat was aching, thirsty and raw, "I just hope whatever happens… Charlie isn't paying for it."
"You haven't heard anything back yet?" She whispered, her brow furrowed in concern. Lily knew Rufus had been agitated for the last twenty four hours or so and knowing he would do anything to protect his family scared her this time.
She hadn't had time to really think about all of this. She didn't know what to think about Charles or Jenny at this point. She understood the girl must have felt lost and alone if she couldn't even turn to her family, but it broke her heart because she knew Rufus's whole world had been turned upside down. Lily tried to understand her decision to hide little Charlie, but it was still hard.
Allison sighed heavily, "Nothing yet, but I know Dan wouldn't let Rufus do anything stupid. I'm sure they stopped him before he even had the chance to find him. I bet they are sitting at a waffle house right now and talking things through."
Lily looked into her eyes and prayed that she was right. Something just told her that it wouldn't be that easy.
"You three are still leaving tomorrow?"
"Well we need to because I have work and Jenny seems to be more than ready to go back home," She bit her lip and looked slightly bothered, "I haven't seen her this upset in a long time and what I saw today scared me. I do not want my daughter to fall back into feeling like nothing."
Lily noticed the corners of Allison's mouth twitch down, "You think going back now is the best solution? I don't mean to step on your toes, but adjusting to something like this is going to take time and I feel like if you go back now it's disrespectful to Rufus and Dan." She felt a bit idiotic asking her a question like that, but she had to speak out.
"I know this isn't a situation anyone of us imagined we would end up in," The mother defended her daughters decisions, "And as much as I know this hurts your family I need to think about mine." Allison smiled, proud and gracious, as she looked at Charlie.
The woman holding the little boy looked down into Charlie's warm, squinty eyes. He did seem happy to see his Allison again, pounding his foot against Lily's stomach like a peppy drum beat. She tried to concentrate on the weight of Charlie in her arms while wrinkling her brow as if she didn't understand what she had been told.
"Allison," Lily was self-assured and confident. "I think the difference between us is that you can't see how I consider all of you my family especially this little guy and Jenny. I could never treat my family the way you do. Going back to Hudson and sweeping everything under the rug is a huge mistake."
"That's your opinion."
"True," She agreed, "But I know that if Jenny leaves now- she won't have a healthy relationship with her brother or father in the future and that will also hurt Charlie."
Allison glared at Lily remembering why she hadn't liked her in the first place. This would be one long day.
It didn't take long for all three of them to storm inside. Serena rushed to ask Dan if he was okay, but he was too busy eyeing Jenny. It had not been a warm look, more like glare of denial.
"Oh my god what happened!" Lily gasped as she saw Rufus's bloody hand.
He shrugged, "It's nothing really."
"You should see Chuck." Dan quipped casually.
Jenny couldn't speak, words failed her. She stood there stiff as a stick hugging herself.
"Jenny," Allison approached her, "Are you alright hun?"
She snapped her gaze back up, eyes glossy, "Where is he?"
"Right here." Eric walked out with the baby and handed him to his mother.
The blonde took him almost alarmingly fast, hugging him and kissed his forehead tenderly. She held her forehead against Charlie's for a moment to collect herself and kissed him again, "I need…" Her voice broke down, "I need a moment." Jenny hurried away to her old room and soon everybody else heard the door being slammed.
"What did you do?" Allison turned to Rufus. She looked like she was getting angry and upset all over again.
"You shouldn't have tried to reason with him." Dan looked directly at his sister who had finally returned from the safety of her own room. It seemed like he had to squeeze the words out from some place deep inside him. He was not happy about what he had seen.
Jenny held her baby and paced around nervously, but Charlie didn't seem to mind, curled up against her chest, soft and warm, snuffling quietly now that he's being held someone he felt safe with. She on the other hand looked exhausted.
All of the family was around the kitchen table, others standing like statues and others sitting down. Lily was cleaning up Rufus's hand which had caused a lot of damage that evening.
"You okay?" He asked quietly.
"No." Jenny replied, softer than she realized when she was indeed in full panic mode, "I can't believe you would do that when I told you it would do no good." She just stared at him, those blue eyes not even flinching.
"Jenny this is scaring and confusing the bejesus out of everyone, how do you think I should have reacted?" Rufus scolded. His daughter looked at her feet again and felt like she could drown in her self-pity. She looked up to Eric for help, but he could only look on with slight understanding.
"Look, I need to think, could everyone please stop riding my ass?" She asked irritably, "I have enough on my plate and you guys going Rambo doesn't exactly help!"
Dan snorted from his seat, "Everybody knows he got what he deserved." This conversation was pointless. What he'd wanted was not the few words they'd just managed to exchange. He just wanted his sister back.
Jenny whirled around and he just sort of grimaced at her. She glared and then blinked, he was trying to make her feel uncomfortable, "Maybe he did, but Charlie didn't," She told everyone, with an authority that made them cringe, "If Chuck takes him from me- now that he has a very good reason I'm never speaking to you two again."
Her father's eyes bulged at the angry words being heard, "He won't do that."
"How do you know!"
"He was bluffing Jenny," Dan agreed with Rufus," He wanted to get you riled up and apparently he managed to do that."
"Yeah maybe he did because unlike you I have the enough sense in my head not to take this lightly," His sister yelled, anger showing on her face, "This is my son! This is my whole life you two are playing with!"
"Maybe this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't opened your legs to him in the first place!"
"Dan!" Rufus snapped at him.
Jenny didn't want to believe what she had heard and managed to bit back an angry retort, "Nice to know what my family really thinks about me," She muttered sarcastically and laughed lightly, trying to hide her heart break, "This was a mistake. All of this!"
She picked up the baby bag from the floor and tossed it on the other shoulder before walking off from the kitchen.
"Jenny!" Allison hurried after her, "Where are you going?"
She quickened her pace even though she had Charlie on her other arm and quipped back loudly, "I'm going to fix this."
The door closed and everyone gazed at each other, not knowing what to think or say.
Eric broke the silence, "That was a low blow," He looked straight at Dan, "She didn't deserve that."
Dan stared back, trying to look sorry, but he couldn't.
She had rushed outside of the building, but stopped as realization hit her.
Jenny Humphrey was standing outside one of the busiest streets of Upper East Side with a baby in her arms, her son; her world. She was like a piece of meat surrounded by piranhas. It was all out in the open officially and everybody would know her darkest secret. Uncomfortable by her surroundings her heart thumped so loudly she thought she could hear it.
Jenny felt the adrenaline swooshing through her veins and it was like it was burning a hole in her chest. For a second she thought about turning around and going back inside, but the little whimper she heard changed everything. Her eyes drop to meet his and all the hesitation in her mind disappears. She smiled at him and stepped further in the streets. It was like everything was moving slowly as she walked. A few familiar faces walked towards her, a girl who she had definitely seen at their school and a few ladies she must have seen at some events. The gazes everybody casted towards her and the boy with clear resemblance to his daddy were curious.
She knew it was not just in her head. This is what Upper East Side is all about. The Gossip. Then it happens- the click of a button.
The voice somewhere distant she knew too well. Her world tipped sideways as she was swept into the swirling sickness of memories. Her picture is being taken and there is nothing she can do about it. Jenny shielded Charlie's face and her lips tightened in anger all of a sudden. The thought of these people seeing her son and posting his face on the internet for their amusement sickened her. Her pace quickened and she dodged the people coming from the other direction of the street.
She continued walking, but really didn't know where she would end up.
A surge of nausea swelled over her, and she swallowed the urge to vomit, unsuccessfully; she just barely got the toilet seat up before she was on her knees and her stomach ached as she threw up what was left on her stomach from last night. Her hair hung in the air as she continued to vomit violently. Finally after getting everything out that there possibly was she backed away from the toilet.
"Jenny? Everything alright in there?"
She wiped her mouth with her hand and grimaced as the taste of vomit was still strong. She put a hand up to her forehead to help clear her mind and sighed in exhaustion, "I'm fine mom."
"Are you sure?" Her mom kept insisting, "I'm off to work- just call me if you need anything from the store. Remember to rest! Oh and drink lots of water hun!"
"I'm fine!" Jenny yelled back, agitated, "Just go already!"
She heard how Allison backed away and waited the outdoor to be closed before letting out a shaky gasp. She was still on the bathroom floor, against the wall and didn't know what to do.
It was just the flu. Yes, the flu. That's all. Just the flu, nothing more, nothing less.
Almost five weeks had passed from the day she had left her dad and the comforts of the Upper East Side. She had already forgotten about the whole fiasco she left behind, but the stomach pains that were so nauseating she couldn't swallow down anymore always brought back a strange feeling.
It was the flu. A nasty flu.
The words were convincing enough in her mind and she decided to get up from the floor. She couldn't stand the miserable person looking back from the mirror and her tired eyes didn't help with this. Jenny opened the medicine cabinet above the sink and was reaching for her tooth brush when her eyes widened in horror. Her heart must have literally stopped for a second. It was a simple opened box of tampons that caught her eye. In a moment of panic she closed the door of the cabinet. It was like she couldn't- her mind just went blank.
Many thoughts raced through her head right there and then. When was the last time she had even gotten her period? She thought back and it had been forever ago. It felt like she was being smacked across the face as reality hit her.
She couldn't… She was definitely not….
No way. No fucking way.
Jenny felt like she was getting sick again- it was not the same kind of sickness, this was pure disgust and the idea of even carrying a part of Chuck Bass inside her made her want to hurl even more.
It took her fifteen minutes to reach the closest store. She rushed to the health section and ignored all the feelings she had at the moment. She could have broken down anytime, but kept herself together as she took a couple more steps towards the front of the store. Jenny grabbed the first four pregnancy tests from the shelf and rushed to the nearest cash register. She could feel the cashiers eyes on her and it made her even more nervous. Soon as it was possible she took off with the tests at the bottom of her bag.
She had never imagined that she would find herself in this position. Jenny stood there in shock, she kept looking at the pregnancy test in denial.
Positive.
Maybe it was faulty. Maybe this one didn't work. Her vision went blurry as tears flooded her eyes.
She did another one.
Positive.
"Oh my God. Oh my God." She choked out in a hysteric voice, and then gasped air in her lungs again. It felt like she was choking in her gasps, she could hardly steady her breathing. Tears were running down her face.
She couldn't understand this and it took her another twenty minutes to do another one.
Positive.
She was getting tired of seeing the plus sign... positive sign... pregnant sign. Her panicked whimpers didn't stop as she gathered herself to do the last one she had. She still didn't believe it. She wouldn't believe it until the last test had been done.
Positive.
This was the moment when Jenny allowed herself to collapse on the floor. The plastic sticks were scattered across the bathroom. She was against the wall, clutching her knees tightly and whimpering loudly. "O-oh god!" she screamed and banged her fist against the tiles like a child throwing a tantrum. It was too much. Everything. It all flashed in her mind-
How she met him at the Kiss on the Lips party.
How he had tried to force himself on her on that same night.
How she got him back by tricking him at the masquerade ball.
How she gave up everything to defeat Blair, but still many times her plans backfired and she had to pay the higher price.
How she fell in love with Nate, but their romance ended with a bad note as she couldn't hold it together with him.
How her life changed as many people came into her life.
How her relationship with her dad and Dan crumbled.
How she lost herself completely.
How she was mad at her dad for forcing her to leave
How she ran out and found him instead of Nate that night.
She stood up quickly, stumbling around the bathroom nervously. She began hyper ventilating even more. Her hands were wrapped around herself; breathing heavily. She needed to get rid of this. She was not having his baby.
"Can I join you?
Jenny snapped out of it, but seemed to be still lost deep in thought, "Depends." Her voice was quiet as she hugged little Charlie who was in her lap covered with a warm blanket.
Rufus looked at the old surroundings and sat next to her on the familiar steps in Brooklyn.
"You shouldn't just take off like that," He looked at her, keeping his face emotionless, "It's not safe when you're alone with a baby."
"I took the subway," She answered quietly, feeling her throat tighten, "And it's not like I'm not used to being alone."
Her dad seemed lost with words like she was. They sat there a moment. The same steps she used to take every day. She had always felt like this building was more of a home than the Van Der Woodsen penthouse. There they were, father and daughter- sitting on the stairs outside their old home, both too tired to argue anymore.
"How did you know I was here?"
"I looked for you near his place, but figured you wouldn't go there with Charlie. No matter how bad things always seemed this was the place you felt safe in."
Jenny swallowed nervously, "Is Dan still mad?"
"He needs time. All of us do-"
"But I know you won't be able to look at me the same way. Nobody will and now I even have to deal with Chuck."
His heart broke a little more, if that's even possible at this point. Rufus looked at her with vacant eyes, listening closely her next words.
"It was the hardest thing to do dad… Lying to you and Dan was not something I wanted to do." Jenny felt like she was pouring her whole self out and starting clean, "I knew keeping him a secret was the only way for me to even heal from this... from everything. Telling you would have made it more real and it's not really easy to accept the fact that you have a baby with someone who hates and despises you." Her blues eyes were filled with sorrow, "Charlie will never have dad like you and it kills me that I can't give him that."
"I don't really feel like a great dad right now," Rufus looked back at her, "Im sorry for what happened earlier," He placed a hand on her shoulder, "But I'm not sorry for hurting him- I'm sorry for hurting you two."
Jenny sighed, "You don't have to say that."
"I want to," His voice was even more determined, "I love you Jenny and you're my daughter. Nothing else matters. What happened in the past… it's the past okay? We need to move on and learn from this."
A tear escaped her eye, "Please don't say that."
"Jenny we love you. You and that little one- We love you both."
She felt like she didn't deserve her father's words and completely broke down. The blonde buried her face on his shoulder and cried all the pain away..
"You're strong Jenny." He hugged her, stroking the back of her head. "Don't ever forget that."
She finally had the courage to return from the comfort of her dad's arms and watched the sun glimmer in front of them. She opened her eyes, feeling a bit of her uneasiness disappearing as she held Charlie even closer, kissing his forehead and smiling, "Let's go home."
Serena watched Dan from a distance. He was still sitting in kitchen and she could only wonder what he was thinking about. She could tell that he was extremely hurt. She had never seen him shout at Jenny the way he did earlier.
"Hey," Lily placed an arm on her shoulder, "You okay?"
Serena smiled, but shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know."
"He is going to be okay."
She nodded, uncomfortable by the fact that her mom picked up her worry for Dan, "I really can't wrap my mind around this."
"It's going to take some time, but we all need to just support each other."
"It's not that easy mom," Serena snapped, "Jenny lied to all of us for God knows how long and then she comes back expecting everybody to understand. It's not right towards anyone. Not Rufus, not you, not Dan or Eric! She made a selfish decision and I don't see how I can manage to support that like it was a good thing when so many people are going to be hurt by this. Mom, think how Blair will feel-"
"Serena," Lily tensed up, "This is a family matter remember? I know you and Blair are close, but this is not about anybody else except this family. I know, stuff happened what was not supposed to happen between people we didn't expect, but speculating and making a headline out of it won't do any good."
She was a bit dumbstruck by the tone of her mother's voice, but didn't have time to respond as her phone vibrated. She opened the message and bit her lip nervously.
"What is it?" Her mother asked, nervous.
Eric rushed into the room and held his phone as well, "Did you guys see it?"
"What? What's going on?"
Serena held her phone up to Lily, "It's not a family matter anymore."
Lily's eyes widened nervously as the photo of Jenny shielding her baby appeared on Serena's phone.
"Who's your daddy J? Baby daddy that is."
Also if you want to check out- go to my profile page and follow the link to see picture of Charlie! Atleast what I kind of picture him to look like :) It's easier for me to write when I can imagine who Im writing about! Also I will add a timeline thingy there in a couple of days (shows Charlies birthday etc) So that you get some kind of grasp of where we are with the time. Also Im adding tons of more stuff later on so keep on the look out!
AND FINALLY this story will start moving as this "omg the family knows" stuff is over lol :F though I want to write in a lot of detail because it makes it more realistic. I do not want to rush this even though I know people want everybodys reaction to everything and want to see what will happen.
Have a nice weekend and hopefully by Monday I have uploaded couple of pics and the newest chapter will be done!
Thanks for the support! luv you guys!
UPDATE: Check out the story timeline now! Go to my profile page and find a direct link!