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"So the car is ready. Lily and Charlie are waiting for us. Ready to go?"
Jenny wasn't sure what to say to her dad as she finished up with the baby bag for Charlie. Her mind seemed to be doing cartwheels, yet again as she packed extra diapers and formula for her tiny man. She turned around to face him and he could tell she felt uneasy about it all, "Not really, but what can I say? I guess you're never supposed to be ready for something like this."
She was painfully aware of the fact that he would be seeing her baby, their baby for the first time.
Rufus cleared his throat and carefully chose the words he would speak next, "It's going to be alright kiddo."
She wasn't ready for this. Her heart beat furiously, "How do you know that? What if he wants to hold him? How am I supposed to deal with this dad! It kills me to even think about something like that because he doesn't see what a gift that baby boy is. Chuck doesn't understand that my whole life is in his hands. Everything; my heart and soul belong to Charlie and I can't have anybody take this from me."
"Hey, hey calm down," He clutched onto her hand, "That will not happen. If there is anything I've learned from life it's that everything happens for a reason. I never wanted this for you, I admit that and you know that I'm still… adjusting so to speak, but I'd hate to think how you would have ended up without him. You were blessed with him for a reason and he will not be taken away now. This is how it's supposed to be."
He could see Jenny soften under his watchful gaze and the girl looked as if she was going to burst into tears any second now, "I didn't think I would ever hear something like that from you."
They hugged and she laughed a little, "I'm so done with being worried and scared. I'm all out of tears."
"I think we all are."
Dan was still annoyed by his sister's complete reverse flip in demeanor, reasoning and behavior. She seemed to be in denial, and hurting herself would be the only outcome. He had warned Jenny right from the start. If she was going to be like these people in the end, she might just as well be stranger to him. Right now it felt like that- even when he had already told her was proud of her. He was honestly proud that his sister had changed in so many ways, but still it didn't mean he was agreeing with her decisions. Dan was always the one who had cynical views on the world and he didn't like it when people ignored the problem. The problem here was Chuck.
Seeing how Jenny had changed when she met him, the possibility of actually them being in any kind of speaking terms was not something he wanted for her.
"Did they leave already?" Serena had walked into his room without him even noticing.
She actually managed to pull him out of his thoughts.
"I think so. I heard the door close at least," Dan shrugged it off, "Anyways I haven't had time to even ask you about Blair. How is everything?"
"She is coping… I don't really know what else to call it."
He smiled looking down and then back up, "That bad huh?"
She was not keen on talking about her best friend who she felt like needed to be protected. Blair had never really been easy to deal with and for obvious reasons people were very intimated by her. Serena really over the years had learned to be patient with her and knew things weren't always what they seemed.
The girl with the bow headband wasn't as malicious as people thought she was.
She had her insecurities like anyone else and the only thing Serena wanted for her best friend was happiness which in her opinion she truly deserved. She deserved to have a good boyfriend and to be treated right, just once in her life. If there was anything she wanted for her- it was unconditional love and support because the young woman who people feared so much was not any different than the rest of them.
The blonde just smiled nervously and tried a different approach, "How would you feel if I showed up with another man's baby and practically crushed your dream about being the one to give me that child."
"Not good I suppose," Dan answered honestly while trying to avoid the subject when it came down to their relationship, "I never realized Blair ever thought about having kids with Chuck."
"She didn't " Serena sounded a little irritated, "Sure, you think about the future and wonder what will happen, but I think Jenny having a baby with Chuck made her realize what she could have had. She basically stole her dream."
"That sounds a little harsh."
"It's the truth."
Dan stopped to think for a second, "So you think Jenny should have just kept this from us?"
"No absolutely not, "She crossed her arms over her chest and said firmly, "She should have never even allowed this to happen. I mean look at your dad, my mom, you, Eric and Blair. You're all clearly upset and have a reason to be upset, but what I'm saying is that this all could have been avoided. Jenny should have known better."
Dan thought Serena was blowing things out of proportion. He counted to ten in his head. He crossed his arms and pinned her with a look that said cut the crap, "You can't seriously say that this is all on her," His voice was anguished when he spoke again, "Jenny could have avoided this all if Blair and Chuck were mature enough to handle a relationship. So yeah maybe they should have known better."
Serena just glared at him and he glared back. She didn't like the sound of that at all. She was feeling very defensive, and upset that Dan was so mad at her, "I didn't want to upset you, but that's just how I feel. I hate to see you and especially our mom and dad this way. You would have to be blind not to see that they are both holding it in. That's not good for any of you."
He didn't know what to say because he felt like whatever he said Serena wouldn't understand how he felt. In a long time he had not felt like this which was disappointing. All of sudden he didn't feel like being around her and even talking to her about the subject.
"Serena," He looked up at her sideways with shaded eyes, "If that's your opinion then fine… just don't come to me acting like you care about my well being and feel like you're justified to bash my sister on the side."
"Dan I didn't-"
"Just go."
She looked stunned and, for a moment had absolutely no idea what to do or to say.
"I…." Serena was still confused and uncertain. He didn't give her the chance to say more as he went to open the door for her. She took it as her cue to leave.
She carried her son while Lily and Rufus along with her lawyer followed her inside the room one of the nurses had directed them in. They were in a private clinic where the paternity test would be taken. After that they would meet up for the result hearing and signing the contract at their house. Surprisingly enough Chuck promised to drag his ass in there without much of a fight.
Jenny placed the diaper bag on the floor and sat down while Charlie was sucking his pacifier without any idea of what would happen. Lily and Rufus, both dressed sharp were discussing something with the family lawyer while anxiously waiting. The room was full on white, but in a good way unlike most hospitals. This again was way too minimalistic for Jenny's taste with the big windows and the comfortable white leather chairs, but she had to deal with the lifestyle of these people a couple more days which calmed her mind a little.
Her forehead was getting sweaty and her legs fidgeted a little because of the nerves. When the door opened, her instant reaction was to shield Charlie's face with the palm of her hand and make sure turn him away so that he couldn't look at him. She knew she was being childish, but what else could she do?
Jenny was not ready. She just wished she had realized it earlier.
"Just get comfortable on the bed and we will start," The doctor was all smiles with her clipboard in her hands, "How've you been feeling since the last check up?"
"Okay I guess."
"Nothing alarming?" She kept asking eagerly while Jenny was preoccupied with her cellphone, not giving her any sort of eye contact or even a hint of a smile which made the doctor not so understanding, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to close your cellphone."
Jenny rolled her eyes and shifted carefully as she could on the bed what seemed to be a lot smaller than the last time she laid there. Being six months pregnant wasn't easy when it came to moving around. She flashed the closed cellphone in front of the doctors face and smiled, "Happy now?"
All of the nurses and doctors knew her as the young girl with the nasty attitude. Whenever she came alone to checkups she could tell people were staring at her with a disapproving look, but it didn't bother her. She just didn't care.
"You know it's a hospital policy Jenny," She reasoned and continued with spreading some of the gel around on her stomach, "Where is your mom today?"
"Work like always."
"That's unfortunate. She's going to miss a good ultrasound." She replied with a very bright smile, "There the little one is."
And there it was, in black and white, on the screen in front of her.
"Still there huh?" Jenny said in a quiet voice, mostly to herself.
"Yeah it's not going anywhere." She kept looking at the screen and examining the little human inside of her, "Looks like this one is very active and growing very healthily. You have nothing to worry about at this point. Have you noticed the baby moving around a lot?"
Jenny was still staring at the screen with her dull eyes, "I can't really sleep because it keeps moving around every two seconds." She mumbled and laid back on the bed, "When is it gonna stop doing that?"
"Not anytime soon I'm afraid," The doctor chuckled and returned to her clipboard, "You're now 25 weeks along which also means that I can definitely tell you which one you're going to have."
"Which what?" She asked, frowning a little bit.
The doctor turned to her, explaining, "Sex of the baby."
"Oh..."
"You wouldn't have to call the little one 'it' for the rest of your pregnancy."
Jenny looked back at the doctor with a firm look on her eyes, "I like 'it' better."
"You don't have to hide his face from me," Chuck's voice broke the silence in the room, he had taken a seat across her on the other side of the room, " I've seen pictures."
Everyone waited for her reaction and watched her drop her hand from his face. For almost a full minute everyone was silent and motionless, and she felt as if a giant fist had been slammed into her stomach soon as she noticed him gazing at her son.
He was just staring and it really caught her off guard. Tears gathered in her eyes and she lowered her gaze to kiss Charlie's forehead. She had repeatedly reassured herself that she was going to be fine when this would happen, but at the moment her heart raced and sweat misted even more on her forehead.
He watched the shadows of thoughts and emotions play over her face, she looked tired. Well she had a reason to be. Chuck didn't want to actually pay too much attention to the kid, but suddenly he was overwhelmed by the miniature version of himself. A bright yellow giraffe plush toy in hand and pacifier in mouth, the boy's watchful eyes latched onto him. He blinked his large eyes in bewilderment, before babbling and thumping his head back against Jenny's chest and kicked his tiny feet. Seemed like he wasn't scared of his appearance, even with the cut above his right eyebrow.
"Charlie settle down." Jenny laughed at him lovingly, maybe forgetting where she was for a moment.
He was still watching her and the baby boy.
When she looked up into his eyes their eyes locked and he knew they were thinking the same thing.
Who would have thought they would end up here?
"Too bad you didn't bring your uncle along," Rufus focused his eyes on Chuck, "I had a couple words to exchange with him."
For a moment, expressions of annoyance and even outrage chased themselves across his face. Lily had been silent, her eyes growing wider as he spoke, gripped with a wordless terror. The lawyers seemed to just stand there awkwardly looking at their watches, waiting for the process to begun.
Chuck looked at her and shook his head, "Of course you had to tell them and upset Lily over nothing. You don't have to worry about Jack- let me handle him."
His voice had turned cold and she frowned, suddenly defensive.
"I don't have to explain myself to you Chuck."
Lily sensed what was coming and decided to step in before the madness even started "Okay you all need to calm down. We don't need to make this any more difficult than it already is." As she spoke, her voice was edged with it growing anxiety, "Right Jenny?"
Jenny's voice was slightly strangled, "Right..."
She then looked at Chuck, demanding the same behavior obviously.
"You don't need to worry about me."
"Make sure it stays that way Charles."
He looked like a boy being scowled at by his mother as he sank further in his chair.
The door opened again and inside walked the doctor, older gentleman who was unknown to both of them. After the greetings were exchanged he was ready to go straight into business, "So we are here to prove someone's paternity today."
Everyone nodded in the room.
The doctor took out what looked like two cotton swabs sealed inside plastic covers. He then pulled on his rubber gloves and looked at Chuck, "You probably have been already explained what we are doing here today, but from a medical point of view this is test result is 99.99% accurate. We are taking a sample from both of you and by cross-matching the DNA patterns we can establish if you are the father. The way that this works is that, we rub the swab on the inner cheeks and under the tongue and collect cells. The friction caused by the rubbing naturally causes thousands of cells to get detached and gathered onto the swab. These cells will tell us what we need to know."
He was looking around, his face impassive, but there was something beneath the control. Chuck shook his head as though trying to clear it, "Let's get this over with."
He opened up without question, letting the doctor swab his mouth before pulling it out and sealing it.
"You should get that cut checked out...looks rather nasty." The man remarked as he scrutinized his face.
"It's no big deal," He looked straight at Rufus who tried his hardest to ignore him, "Accidents happen don't they Jenny?"
A look of intense irritation flashed across her face and her words came quickly, "Oh shut up Chuck."
The doctor laughed heartily at what was happening in front of him. This wasn't actually the worst he had seen when it came to parents not getting along. He next moved to take the test from Charlie which proved to be a little difficult. The boy started squirming in his mother's arms soon as the doctor got closer with the swab. He showed resistance, but after a few minutes of trying they were able to get the sample.
"When are the results going to be in?"
"This will take a few hours."
Rufus sighed ruefully and shook his head at the answer. He was so ready to move on from this and forget this ever even happened.
"Maybe Charles and Mr. Gillingham would like to join us for tea as we wait for the results." Lily could imagine all their faces, possibly baffled by her idea, "And before you all tell me I'm nuts- just think of this as an peace offering. You need to end this on good terms."
Jenny's attempt at a smile was forced, "I'm pretty sure Chuck has other things to do than sit around with us drinking tea," She turned to him, words fading as she saw his strange, disconnected expression, "Right?"
A look of mischief spread over his face. The answer did not come immediately, "Actually tea sounds very good right now."
In that moment she looked so angry as though she could shred him into pieces and even the doctor felt the discomfort of witnessing something so intensely private being so publicly visible.
He had justified himself over and over, even when there had been no need to and in the end he had come to wonder why? Why was it so important to convince everyone that he felt nothing, but protective over Jenny?
Nate was fiddling with things on the dressing table, picking them up, putting them down, his eyes flicking restlessly, settling on nothing.
Could it be because it everyone else saw through him? Could it be that, even though externally he had remained calm and collected, inside, within his own mind, somewhere there was repressed feelings from earlier years.
"You need to stop touching my things." A fleeting smile warmed Blair's face.
"Sorry." Nate looked startled, as though his mind had been miles away.
She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then seemed to decide to ignore it.
"Zip me." She pointed her index finger to the back of her dress. The dress was red, almost painfully bright and stunning against her pale complexion. It was simple in design, but elegant in its lines and lace detail. In no way was it inappropriate- the opposite. It was decent length and there was no cleavage showing.
He didn't find it awkward or uncomfortable. She lifted her hair, revealing a view of her nape and he zipped her in, "Nice dress."
Blair blew out a breath, "It's not just a nice dress," she spoke softly, "This is an vintage Chanel couture dress from the 60's made with one pair of hands and a needle with thread. The type of dress royalty used," She continued as she crinkled her nose, "Unlike these days with the dumpster hipsters roaming around in their square glasses and flee infected jumpers."
Nate's smile was rueful, amusement in his eyes, "You are unbelievable."
"And you Nathaniel like many other men don't appreciate nice things."
"I do appreciate nice things," He laughed softly, "Sometimes though people with nice things fool you. You shouldn't judge a book by its cover."
"Says the man who I have not seen date a girl who doesn't own an American Express Platinum."
His face hardened.
"Oh… right, I forgot about her for a second." She rolled her eyes, "But I think we can safely put her now in that category since Chuck will be her sugar daddy for the rest of her life." Blair's face rarely gave anything away, but she was smiling at him, there was an expression like tenderness in hers which was surprising, seemed like she was in good spirits,"Anyways thanks for joining me today. Mother would have been a pain if I went alone to this event."
"No problem. I'm always down for a good brunch."
"Also you don't have to worry," There was a suspicious twitch at the corner of her mouth and her eyes were dancing, "Everyone knows we are just friends so you can hit on anybody you want."
"For my own good I think I'm just gonna stand in the back and smile." Nate folded his arms and looked at Blair with cool challenge.
Her smile was slow and serene, "Good decision."
As they were walking out he stopped and said, "Jenny isn't the only girl who I have dated and didn't come from money," Nate returned to the earlier topic, "You forgot about Vanessa."
She scoffed, "Oh please. "
"I'm just saying my track record isn't that bad as you make it seem…" He muttered.
"The only thing I remember about that girl is that she needs a good conditioner because that scruffy mop on her head wasn't worthy of being called hair." Blair smirked up at him with a wicked mischief in her eyes. He didn't even dare to disagree with her at that point.
Nate's smile broadened into a grin. "I will say it again- You're unbelievable."
"Shit!" Jenny cursed under her breath, trying desperately to open the baby food jar, but in frustration ended up slamming it on the table.
Charlie was mouth open, watching his mom in awe- sitting comfortably in the new high chair Lily had bought him. He still sometimes wobbled around, not able to sit without his little head flopping a little forward.
"Sorry baby. Momma's nerves are a little tight today," She looked at her son and sighed, "You're just chilling there like there is no care in the world huh?"
The faint smile he offered to her warmed her heart.
"I'm so glad at least you won't remember any of this."
Handling this situation professionally had been her first instinct, but she couldn't help herself. Of course she took it all personally. She was basically faced with someone who was saying her son was not wanted. Did she expect Chuck to feel and act differently? Absolutely not. She knew going into this what would be the outcome, but it still stung that he wouldn't acknowledge him as his own. Jenny had been running over everything in her mind, trying to understand it all. So much had happened and nothing still felt right. It was like looking into a mirror that had been shattered, its pieces put back in disarray. Her mind would be fractured for the rest of her life.
"You alright in here?" Her father had stepped into the kitchen and peered at her, a look of concern on his face.
"I'm just fine dad. Life couldn't be better," Jenny's head went up, her eyes widening and shining with indefinable emotion, "Chuck Bass is in our living room because your wife decided to invite him in and he is probably loving this. You basically are feeding his sick mind with my misery."
She picked up the baby food jar again and tried twisting the cap off. She grunted as she used all her strength to open the jar, but still got the same result.
"Let me," Rufus took the jar from her and she wasn't exactly grateful for his help, "I know Jenny- we both know this situation is ridiculously uncomfortable, but don't blame Lily's good nature for what you two did. Whatever it is that happened should be forgotten already. A couple of hours more won't change the fact that today this all ends." The lid popped open and he handed the jar to her.
She looked anguished, her eyes filling with doubt. Jenny felt strangely comforted by her dad's words, but it wouldn't make her forget about certain memories that still haunted her.
"What do you want me to do?" She turned her back to him, searching for the bright blue baby spoon, "Go there and act like I'm okay? Because I can't do that dad. I can't even look at him. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's how I feel."
"Do you need it to make sense?" He stopped and looked at her, surprised.
Jenny dipped the small spoon into the orange mush and began feeding Charlie. It was never much of a hassle to get him to eat so this was an easy task.
His daughter looked earnestly into his eyes, "I'm afraid," she admitted to him," I'm afraid because I realized this is not going to end today. I mean you will live here because your life is here. Dan's life is here. This damn town will always be home to you two and in the future when he gets old enough and asks me to take him to see Uncle Dan or grandpa what can I say? I can't protect him from this place and as long as you're here so will be Chuck."
Jenny's face was unreadable as kept feeding her baby boy. Acknowledging something to yourself was one thing; saying it aloud was something else again. It made its reality less easy to ignore.
"He is never going to be completely wiped out of his life. He is never going to be his dad, but he will always be there."
The look of sadness had fallen across Rufus's face as he heard her.
He looked at his grandson's happy face and then back at Jenny, "Sometimes things occur that are beyond our understanding. We can only accept them as being."
"Being what?"
"Just being there."
She nodded at him knowing she finally had to suck her pride and talk to Chuck.
Face to face.
No excuses.
It was time to talk about everything that had happened.
Just to make it clear: Nate and Blair are not going to be a couple in my story. They are just really good friends and I like writing them because their relationship kind of reminds me of me and my best friends relationship- we were so-called 'high school sweethearts', it ended but we are even better friends now. I feel like the show kind of messed Nate and Blair's relationship up. I mean them- being so close and friends for so long and then next they were almost strangers to each other like wtf. I mean I just want to portray them being as very close and understanding towards each other because they will always have some sort of connection.. and YES GIRLS AND GUYS CAN BE JUST FRIENDS. Even after they have hooked up. Can be done. That's all Im saying about this lol..
So GG is officially done which is sad, but I wasn't really watching these last seasons because well... i kind of lost interest soon as they started meddling with freaking hundreds of new characters.
Anyways GG maybe done, BUT I AM NOT.
xoxo until next time!