Chapter 16: Torn
Caroline hadn't spoken to Klaus in days. Everything seemed to be happening so fast that she felt like she couldn't keep up anymore. One minute she wanted to tear Klaus apart. The next, she would want him so bad it hurt. Was it even possible to feel two things at the same time?
She didn't know. She had never felt this way before. With Tyler, things were easy. At the very least, they were less complicated than the circus of emotions she was going through right now. Tyler never intentionally wanted to hurt her. Unlike Klaus, Tyler would even protect Caroline from himself if he had to.
"Run Caroline. Run"
As Caroline closed her eyes, she could hear his voice in her head. She was back in the dungeons with Tyler, the same night Klaus was killed. They both thought that they were going to die that night. She did not want to abandon him.
"No Tyler. I'm not leaving you." She had firmly insisted.
But she wasn't as strong as she thought she was. It seemed like yesterday when she picked herself up in those dungeons, took one last look at Tyler, and with all the will power she had left in her, she ran. It tore at her heart to leave him then. It still did. Caroline realized that she would always feel terribly guilty of her cowardice, but the fact of the matter was blatantly clear- she left him.
Even if Tyler had survived the ordeal, here she was, once again running away. There were moments, albeit fleeting, in the past few days where she had missed him, but she didn't even pick up her phone and call. What's worse is that she ran away from him and into the arms of the one person he hated most in the world. What would Tyler think of her now? Technically they haven't officially broken up and she was already sleeping with the enemy.
Would Tyler forgive her if he found out the truth? The gravity of her actions suddenly dawned upon Caroline. She realized she was probably the most selfish person in the world for thinking she could have it both ways.
At her present state, Caroline was a mess. She stood in front of the mirror but staring at her own reflection made matters even worse. Her eyes were bloodshot, her hair in a messed up bun, and she was dressed down in a tank top and her boxer shorts.
Seconds later, she could no longer help herself. She raised a fist and with one punch, shattered the mirror. It made her feel a whole lot better. Pieces of glass cut through her knuckles, but she couldn't care less. She would rather feel pain in her fist than in her heart. She refused to think about Tyler for any second longer.
Mr. Mickaelson was a different story.
Caroline couldn't block Klaus out of her mind even if she tried. He was down the hall, for Christ's sake. She couldn't understand what he was thinking when he compelled her and attacked her friends. Okay, maybe Damon went a little bit overboard, but Damon was just being, well, Damon. Was that reason enough to take his life? How could Klaus compel her when she specifically asked him not to?
There were so many unanswered questions in her head. She needed an explanation.
Before she could stop herself, Caroline headed out of her room and down the hallway. When she reached the door of Klaus' room, she didn't bother knocking. She grabs the handle, and turned.
At the exact same moment, the door is pulled from the other side. Klaus and Caroline then stood face to face.
"I" They both said at the exact same time.
"Ladies first" Klaus insisted, shortly after.
"I have a lot to say to you Klaus Mickaelson. I know I said I didn't want to talk to you. But I change my mind. Basically what it comes down to are two things. First, I need to know why you compelled me when I told you not to. Second, I personally think your vendetta against my friends was uncalled for." she argued.
Klaus looked puzzled. "Oh is that it? Well I don't understand why you made me look like a fool in there. How about you explain to me why you did that?"
Caroline folded her arms against her chest. She realized she was quite underdressed. Klaus was already in pants and his signature long-sleeved shirt. But it didn't matter. She wouldn't back down.
"I asked you first. And besides, your question doesn't even make sense. Do you hear yourself speaking Klaus? When did I ever undermine your ego? You haven't even seen me try. You're crazy."
It seems that Klaus refused to back down as well.
"Hello, aren't you going to say anything?" she said, waving a hand in front of his face. It happened to be the bloodied hand from earlier.
Klaus grabbed hold of it gently and his expression turned from dark to plain concern "Caroline, what happened? Who did this?"
She pulled her hand away. "It's nothing. Answer my questions."
He still didn't seem entirely convinced, but instead of answering her questions Klaus just stood there. His gaze shifted from Caroline to his feet.
She had enough of this waiting around. The minute Klaus looked up, she slapped him. The cuts on her hand had already healed and what was left was simply dried blood.
"See, it's nothing. Now will you answer me?"
Caroline knew she was pushing her luck and he was probably angry with her now. But that was better. At least then he'd have to say something to her and the two of them wouldn't be standing around in silence anymore.
Klaus put both his hands on her arms and squeezed.
She didn't know what he was thinking, but at that moment her instincts kicked in. She pushed him backward, and because his hands were still on her arms, the two of them toppled over with Caroline on top of him.
"See even now, in my own room, you feel the need to dominate. Blimey Caroline, a man can only take so much, how much more a thousand year old vampire like me who is so used to getting his way." Klaus finally said aloud.
Klaus shifts them over gently so that he is on top. It was a good thing they had landed on his rug. "You see love, I'm not going to change. Not everything can go the way that you want it to."
Caroline nodded. She couldn't argue with that.
"Neither can it go yours, love" she warned, imitating his accent.
Klaus immediately lets go of Caroline and stands up. He turns away from her and she thought at that very moment she wasn't going to get any explanation.
She was wrong.
"You want to know why I compelled you Caroline?" he began, his back still facing her.
Caroline sat up and wrapped her arms around her legs. She wasn't going to interrupt him now.
"It is because I wanted to protect you – not defy you. Contrary to whatever you thought in the first place, I was actually trying to keep you safe. I don't know why we were attacked. I've been hunted for a thousand years and I've always been one step ahead. This time I was caught off guard. My mother must have something to do with this. But the point is, I compelled you to protect you, not because I wanted you to know who's boss" he explained.
He ran a hand through his hair before he continued. Caroline was now standing with her hands hanging on both sides.
"And about your friends… They were the ones who attacked me first. Did you ever think that I was simply defending myself? I was in your room Caroline. I wanted to talk to you and explain when they suddenly barged in and tried to rip me apart. I might have taken it a tad be far when Damon insulted me, but I do not like uninvited guests. Especially those that attempt to kill me. And speaking of insults –"
Klaus turned around. "I do not take orders from you." He pointed at her and for a minute there, Caroline was genuinely afraid.
She was stupefied.
"Bloody hell, now's the time you pick to shut up? Didn't you have a lot of things you wanted to say to me?"
Caroline didn't know if she should be insulted, but she understood his aggravation. It suddenly dawned upon her that she had made a mistake and that she had jumped to conclusions about his actions straight away. She didn't expect to hear this explanation, let alone his good intentions. It was totally unlike him.
"I guess not." Klaus muttered.
He lowered his pointed finger and for a split second, there was a part of him that questioned if he was too hard on Caroline. He pushed away those guilty feelings yet wondered at the same time why her feelings seemed to come first instead of his own.
Klaus didn't want to say anything else he would regret. He turned away from her once more and decided that maybe he should leave her to her thoughts. He took a step forward, when suddenly a hand grabbed his arm, pulling him back.
Caroline let go as Klaus faced her. She looked into his eyes apologetically "I'm sorry for jumping to my own conclusions and not giving you a chance to explain. This whole situation is crazy and I guess I assumed the worst. To be completely honest, it's hard not to. You don't exactly spell – hero, do you? I only stopped you because I thought you were going to hurt my friends, not to wound your pride. I do not want to order you around, just as much as I don't want you to do the same with me. You can't compel me whenever you want Klaus. Don't you remember what I told you the night of the ball? I do. You don't connect with people because you don't try to understand them. You manipulate relationships by buying them off, siring them – compelling them…" she began, her anger building.
She took a deep breath to calm herself down before whispering.
"Is that what you want from me?"
He lifted his hand to cradle her face. "Far from it love."
Klaus tucked her hair behind her ear and Caroline couldn't stop herself from smiling. That was all she needed to hear and even without further explanations, she was already convinced. She felt relieved by what he said and at the same time, it made her insides tingle.
"I feel like an arse for hurting your feelings. But you have to understand that I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to, only to protect you. Do you know how it feels to watch a person you care about get hurt? I've seen it before. In fact, I've been the cause of your pain one too many times. I don't want to ever feel that way again. I can only save you so many times Caroline and I'm afraid that I might not even be able to save you from myself."
Caroline pouted. "I can take care of myself. Thank you very much."
Klaus lifted his hands in surrender. "I know. Believe me. I'm not saying you can't protect yourself. You're Caroline Forbes - strong, beautiful and full of light."
The way he said the last few words were more of a benediction and it seemed all too familiar to Caroline.
"Do you remember what else I said to you that night Caroline?"
She shuddered. She couldn't possibly think with the way he was looking at her right now. She was distracted enough to be able to process anything else. Klaus wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. He gave her a second to adjust to their intimacy—to slap him again or push him away if she wanted to.
But she didn't.
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, then the bridge of her nose. She closed her eyes, half-expectantly waiting for a kiss on the lips. She had no plans of pushing him away. But she was surprised when he suddenly pulled her close, brought his lips to her ear and whispered.
"I fancy..."
Her eyes sprung open and before he could say his last word, she kissed him on the lips. Now was not the right time. She was still with Tyler. She was still spoken for, wasn't she? She knew she debated earlier on her feelings and the status of their relationship, but that was enough to deal with on its own. She didn't need to hear this from Klaus, especially when it was so hard to believe.
He didn't break the kiss.
Caroline chose to believe that it was because he understood and that he regretted saying those words too soon. Maybe he didn't want her to remember he actually said them aloud? Well he already did the night of the ball, and she couldn't forget that. But this time was different. A lot of things have happened since then.
Whatever his reasons may be, she couldn't think about that now.
Passion took over and it was hard for her to think straight. He ignited a fire in her, pleasuring her like nobody else could. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to his four-poster bed. He laid her gently on the covers, never breaking their kiss.
When they finally broke apart, he didn't say anything at all. All he did was look her in the eye, a gaze full of desire and longing, and then he smiled. It was the first time Caroline had seen a smile so genuine—and it was meant for her. She could barely catch her breath with the way her heart was thumping in her chest.
He leaned closer, kissed her on the lips, and they both couldn't stop themselves from smiling as they gave in.