a/n Please note that all WitFit entries are unedited. No beta. I don't own Twilight.

***This is the time frame of chapter 10, M.C.T. You can tell it's a little after what was brewing in chapter 10.

Word Prompt: Philosophy

Audio-Visual Challenge—Musical Mastery: "Awake My Soul" by Mumford & Sons (YouTube link on profile)

Listen to the sample, then write whatever comes to you first.

"You think we can come back from this?"

Everything ached.

"Yes."

Bella's silence and angry, hurt eyes cut deeper.

"This...I want..." I had been trying to explain but the more I did, the less sense it made to me. "We're going to be better than this."

"What does that mean," she snapped. "I thought we were pretty fucking great already."

"I'm not great-"

"You're not happy?"

"No," I sighed. "You're the only thing I'm happy about."

I felt selfish but I didn't feel good about what I was doing with my life and how could I make her happy when I was miserable.

"Then why would you let go of the one thing that makes you happy!"

"I don't see this as letting go."

"It feels like you're letting go. We're breaking up."

I almost said it but stopped. It didn't matter because she knew it too.

"Right," she sneered. "We weren't actually together, were we. Fuck buddies, yes?"

The crassness made me sick since it was the last thing I saw us as.

"I didn't see it like that."

"Just like you don't see this as letting go even though that's exactly what this is," she yelled.

"Christ, Bella, I'm not letting you go and I haven't been just fucking you."

I got up from her desk and paced - angry at her and angry at myself. She scowled at me from her bed with arms crossed and beautiful fury. I was fucking this up and while I could feel myself regretting my decision to get involved with Bella when I wasn't ready, I wouldn't take back one second with her.

"I've always had this plan and things got thrown off. I don't have a job, I'm not writing, all my past pieces feel amateurish..."

I trailed off, sounding increasingly stupid the more I spoke. I should have thrown all my plans away and worked on my relationship with Bella. I watched her slumping against her head board, her spirit wilted in defeat. I was losing her.

"Maybe I'll go for just a year," I compromised. "Or you could come out with me after graduation. You know there have to be great design schools there. What were you going to do after graduation?"

"I don't know. I was going to talk to you about it," she said pointedly.

"Come with me then."

"No."

I was scrambling for a solution and I was never good at figuring things out in the moment.

"Maybe I can take another year off and we can figure this out," I suggested desperately.

"Don't be an idiot. I'm not going to have you do that. Go to San Francisco, Edward."

"How can I go when we're like this?"

"Like what? We're not like anything. We'll move on. Find other people, fuck buddies, whatever." She curled down on the bed, hugging her pillow.

"I don't want that. I don't want someone else."

"You say that now."

"I'll always say that."

"Yet we've both had other relationships."

"That never mattered."

"And look how much I mattered when you made your decision."

I went to the edge of her bed and sat down. I wanted to hold her but she would probably slap me.

"You matter the most," I said quietly, picking my nails. "I need to finish school because you matter the most. I'll have options and be able to move around more freely. We can go anywhere and do anything, together."

"Go to San Francisco. Get your degree and we'll see what happens." She sounded defeated but I felt the same way.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

I tried again. "Then come-"

"I'm not going to chase after you," she interrupted testily. "Alice mentioned some schools in LA so I'll probably consider that. We'll see."

"Same state," I said hopefully.

"We'll see."

I took a chance and squeezed her leg. "I'm sorry I blurred our lines before I was ready."

"Our lines have been blurred a long time. Besides, I was the one that practically molested you when you came back."

I smirked remembering how she thought she needed to seduce me when I came home after graduating. "I didn't do anything I didn't want to do. What I've been wanting to do."

"Yeah, well get that look off your face and take your hand off my leg because you're not going to do anything now."

I held up both my hands and straightened my face. I didn't like the impression she had about our sex life already.

We sat silently in our thoughts - mine full of uncertainty and a love caged by my own hand.