A/N

Thank you to everyone who reviewed last time, and for your trust and faith. It was a very tough chapter to write and I'm really glad you liked it. Rose is an interesting one, eh? There seems to be a 50/50 split at the moment, some of you love her and some still very unsure. But that's fine because Ed isn't sure either, I guess we'll see what happens...

I am indebted as always to Trip, Heather and Lady V for their beta'ing, pre-reading and encouragement, especially this time when RL meant I gave them very little turn around time. Love you all! xxx

Now I don't know if you missed him as much as I did but I can tell you it's bloody lovely to have our sexy Englishman back in my head again.

EPOV (yay!)

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that Jasper Whitlock is my closest mate, has my back in almost all things and is an all round top bloke. He's a diamond. But if I have to listen to this bollocks for one moment longer I will have no choice but to give him a black eye.

"It's just such a fucking relief, Ed!" His eyes are all excited and, to be honest, it's a little creepy.

"You know, I don't think I even realised how miserable I was with Maria until now. Until being with someone so different, so fun, so easygoing."

The fact that he thinks my sister is easygoing demonstrates beautifully just how high maintenance Maria was.

"Everything just fits, you know?"

I roll my eyes but I don't think he notices.

"Plus - okay I know she's your sister but hear me out - the sex-"

"Fucking Hell, J!"

"What?" he smirks. "I wasn't going to go into specifics or anything just-"

"Whitlock, I swear if you finish any sentence that involves my sister and sex I will make you sorry."

Jasper laughs, holding up his hands. "All right, all right, got it."

He takes a swig of beer and tries to contain his smug grin. While Bella is at Angela's birthday do, J and I are having a few pints in Equius to celebrate him finally finding a decent flat. Much as I like the guy, I cannot wait for him to be out of my home. That sofa should be for fun stuff like eating Chinese, playing Xbox and feeling up my gorgeous girlfriend.

"What's got your gob anyway, Cullen? You look miserable."

"Oh I'm just a little worried about Bella."

"Worried? Why? Ali says you two were nauseatingly happy down in Southend."

It's slowly dawning on me that the two people closest to me, and also the two people who most love to stick their noses into my life, are now a bloody team. No good can come from this.

But Southend was amazing; seeing Bella in my home, on my streets - windswept and smiling and beautiful - felt...right. And so did finally saying the words I'd been afraid of.

I clear my throat. "Yeah. No. I mean things are great with us." God, I'm so not used to talking about this stuff. "She just has some issues she has to deal with."

Jasper quirks an eyebrow and I realise how close I am to letting stuff slip.

"You know, with her ex I mean." I say quickly. "He's...well, fuck mate, I think maybe he's actually kinda dangerous and - I don't know - I worry about how she's handling it all."

Well if you're spilling your guts, Cullen, you may as well leave your bollocks at the door too.

"I guess I'm worried that with everything else going on she'll think we're...I don't know, rushing it or something."

J is still frowning. "So what else is going on?"

Seriously, he actually thinks he's a detective.

"Oh nothing, just her divorce, it's just tough that's all."

He snorts. "Well yeah you don't have to explain that to me, I'm in the middle of that shit myself."

He smiles. "Hey, I definitely need to get to know Bella better I think. We have a lot in common - both separated and shagging a Cullen."

"Wafer thin ice, mate." I warn, but I'm smiling because I know he's just joking to get a rise out of me, and I know how crazy he is about Alice. Jesus, everyone in a ten mile radius knows that.

"Anyway, there's no point worrying about her right now, she's on the piss having a great time isn't she?"

"Yeah I hope so." After everything that happened today I'm worried that Bella may go a bit too mad to compensate. Believe me, I've been there. Plus I still can't help being suspicious of Rosalie. What does she want with us?

"Another?" Jasper asks, standing up.

I nod and he heads to the bar.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and my heart leaps, hoping it will be Bella so I can know she's fine and having a good time (apparently I'm still a total pussy). When I pull it out and look at the screen I see it's a mobile number I don't have programmed. Strange.

"Hello?"

"That you Ed?"

I sit bolt upright. "Rose?"

"Yeah, it's me," she says, with a small sigh. Why the hell is she calling me? Shit, unless...

"What is it? Is Bella ok?"

Fuck! What am I saying? She isn't supposed to know about us!

"Okay, listen, don't freak or anything because she's fine," My heart skips and then races, my mouth dry. "But she is at the hospital."

Even though she said not to worry I can't stop the wave of panic that floods over me.

"What happened?" My voice comes out like a croak.

"She just got a little drunk and hurt herself. She's okay but they are keeping her in for a little while and I thought you'd want to know."

Presumably, Bella has spilled all to Rosalie then but I couldn't care less about that, I just need to be with her, make sure she's all right.

"Which hospital?" I ask, already out of my chair.

I spot Rosalie instantly when I burst through the door of University College Hospital A&E. She's sitting on one of the plastic chairs, staring blankly at the wall.

"Where is she?" I demand, rushing over.

"Down the corridor but they kicked me out while the doctor examines her."

"I need to see her right now." My pulse is flying and I can't relax until I know she's okay.

"Ed," Rose says, holding my gaze. "Calm the fuck down, she's fine. You can see her in a minute."

I take a proper look at her, she looks knackered but then it is 3am.

"What happened? How badly is she hurt?" I find myself unable to keep still, pacing back and forth.

"She walked into a lamppost."

For a second this strikes me as funny, a standard beer injury, but then I remember we're talking about Bella and my heart races again thinking about her gorgeous face all smashed up.

"How bad?"

"She's knocked about a bit, bruised and stuff. And she hurt her wrist when she passed out."

"She passed out? Fuck. Fuck." I pace and pace until Rose stands up too and puts her hand on my arm.

"Ed, get your shit together," she says, but it's gentle. "Why don't you sit down?"

I nod, take a deep breath and collapse onto the chair next to her.

"So how long was she out?" I feel sick that she was unconscious, that something worse might have happened to her. I wasn't there, I wasn't looking after her.

"Five minutes or so I think, I found her just as she was going down."

I narrow my eyes at Rose. "Why was she by herself?"

Rationally, I know Bella isn't Rose's responsibility, that nobody needs to babysit her. She's a grown woman, but she's so...vulnerable today. God, my chest hurts.

"She was off her head, I was helping to get her home - well to yours actually." She sneaks a glance at me, half curious and half uncomfortable. "Then she got all upset and ran off. I went after her and found her knocked out."

"Jesus. She shouldn't have gone out tonight." I mutter.

"Eh?"

I remember where I am, who I'm talking to. "Um, nothing. She just had a challenging day today that's all."

"Yeah I worked out that much." Rose says, with a sigh. I study her more closely. She seems genuinely concerned for Bella. She brought her here, after all, waited with her. She even called me. Is it possible that she really is just Bella's friend?

A silence descends on us and the air feels thick with tension. Every other time I've seen Rose since she left Volturi, at work functions, conferences etc, she has been confident, chatty, overly friendly. Insincere. Now I realise how much of that was an act. Here she is stripped back to, well, Rose. Rose who fought with me over which parts of the presentation she wanted to give. Rose, who drinks white wine spritzers even though they aren't cool. Rose, who pretends to be asleep when you leave in the middle of the night.

Rose, who I treated like shit.

What can I possibly have to say to her right now? Sorry I treated you like a whore? Sorry I was so emotionally stunted I failed to notice when our convenient shag-fest turned into something else until it was too late and I hurt you? Perhaps just...sorry.

But I can't, the words are buried under a pile of awkwardness I don't seem to have the energy to crawl out from.

She looks at my profile, frowning. Then looks up the corridor, then back at me.

"What?" I growl quietly, irritated under her scrutiny.

"It's true, isn't it?" She sounds surprised, almost awed. "You actually love her, don't you?"

I feel hot, my palms a little sweaty. I'm really not okay talking to her about this; I'd really like to get away from this God-awful atmosphere. But that's not going to happen.

"Yeah," I whisper.

She lets out a bark of surprised laughter but it isn't bitter. "Ed Cullen in love. Guess a leopard can change his spots, eh?"

I offer her a wry smile. "Guess so."

She grows more serious. "Listen, I need to-"

"Ms Hale?" A young nurse stands in front of us and I leap up. "The doctor is finished with your friend now if you want to go back in."

"I'll stay here," Rose tells my retreating back as I practically sprint down the corridor. The nurse leads me into a side room, there are four beds but only two are occupied. A tramp hurling into a sick bowl and-

"Bella!" I run over to where she is giving me a small smile and gather her into my arms.

She lets out a little yelp of pain.

"Oh shit! Sorry!" I realise I must have caught her injured arm between us when I hugged her and pull back hastily.

"It's okay," she whispers, extricating said arm and I pull her back to me more gently this time.

I breathe in the smell of her hair and my chest feels tight.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah," she murmurs. "Just kinda sick and dizzy, my face was really hurting but it's less now they've given me some pain killers."

I pull back to look at her more closely.

"Bloody hell, Sweetheart." I ghost my fingers over where her left eye is swollen to the size of a pool ball, black bruising already shadowing underneath.

"That's gonna be one hell of a shiner. What did the doc say?"

"I have a pretty bad concussion, and maybe a sprained wrist, they are sending me for an x-ray. But I'm totally fine, just utterly embarrassed."

I drag my chair close to the edge of the bed, pull her hand into my lap and hold it tightly.

"What happened, baby?"

She shrugs. "I just had too much to drink, made an idiot of myself."

"Were you thinking about...everything?"

Her bottom lip quivers slightly and she clamps down on it with her teeth. Tears pool in her eyes. I resist the urge to drag her into another bone-crushing cuddle.

"Yes. I guess. I just wanted to forget this whole day."

I nod. "I wish you had talked to me about it earlier. I want to help you."

I push my chair flush against the bed, putting my arm around her again. She rests her head on my chest, tears silently soaking into my t-shirt. Underneath her head my heart pounds, afraid for her, for myself, unfamiliar with feeling so much.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she whispers.

I frown. "What for?"

"Everything. Pushing you away. Freaking out and getting drunk and stupid."

I take a deep breath. "I've been drunk and stupid enough times to understand, Sweetheart."

We are silent for a few moments, I bask in the relief that she is safe and in my arms. Eventually, in a small, shaky voice, she says, "I'm still afraid of needing you."

I could give her a bunch of platitudes, tell her she doesn't have to be afraid of that because I'm not going anywhere. I want her to need me. Instead I just tell her the entirely honest thought at the very front of my mind.

"I'm afraid of needing you too."

I pull back to look at her, so beautiful, even bruised and sick and sad.

Seeing her in pain, physical and emotional, rips a hole in my chest. This, right here, this feeling is what I've shied away from for 8 years. This is why I've kept up my guard, so I never had to feel pain - mine or someone else's - ever again.

I'm a fucking idiot.

Because if you keep out pain you keep out happiness too.

I kiss her softly, careful to keep my hands away from her bruises. When we pull back she actually laughs a little.

"God, this is stupid. I'm always crying all over you. This morning was supposed to be the beginning of something good."

"It was, Bella. It is. You're going to be totally fine when you get used to talking to someone again. And maybe if you let me in?"

"I think that's the entire point isn't it?" She suddenly giggles.

"Yeah I guess so," I laugh a little too, because if you can't do that what can you do?

"So you told Rose about us?"

"Ugh, yes. I'm sorry, I just needed to be honest with just one person you know? It kinda slipped out."

"Hey, don't apologise. I'm happy to tell people, remember? And if you hadn't-"

I pause when I realise a horrible truth that makes my blood run cold.

"Okay, we have to go public."

Bella's eyes widen in alarm. "What? Why? I only told Rosalie, we don't have-"

"We do. Shit." I drag a hand through my hair and fix my gaze on hers. "Bella, if you hadn't mentioned us to Rose, she never would have called me when you got hurt. Jesus, what if something worse happened to you and you couldn't tell anyone to call me, I wouldn't have even known you were here!"

I feel sick at the thought that I might still be happily drinking with Jasper, oblivious to Bella lying in a hospital bed.

She looks uncertain. "I...please, not yet. I don't want Aro to know."

"I've told you, I can handle Aro. This isn't as big a deal as you think, you know. British bosses are a lot more cool about this stuff."

"But I don't want to jeopardise my position here. I'm only on a secondment, what if he sends me back?"

I realise there is genuine fear in her eyes.

"Is that was this is really all about?" I ask, softly. "You're afraid of being sent home?"

She shrugs. "I guess. I don't know where home is really. I don't know where I belong right now, but I'd prefer it were a few thousand miles away from Jake."

"You belong with me, all right." Jesus, when did I become so corny?

But she's smiling.

"So we can keep it a secret just a little while longer?" She asks, hopefully.

What else can I do? "Okay."

Rose comes back in and sits with us and then the nurse arrives to take Bella for her x-ray. As they suspected nothing is broken, her wrist is just sprained. She is sick several times though and the doctor isn't happy with her vision and dizzy spells so they decide to keep her in for the rest of the day at least.

When Rose goes to get some tea Bella turns to me a little urgently.

"Can you do me a favour? This really isn't comfortable-" She gestures to her outfit from earlier, "could you go to my apartment and get me some sweats and my toothbrush?"

I hesitate. "I really don't want to leave you. I can ask Rose."

"No, no, it's gotta be you. I left some paperwork that Maggie gave me on the counter, I don't want Rose to see it."

Christ, neither do I.

"Okay then, I'll be as quick as I can. Where are your keys?"

I run into Rosalie in the corridor almost literally.

"Hi." She smiles, awkwardly. God, this is so uncomfortable it almost hurts! I much preferred it when we could be fake and pretend nothing had ever happened.

"I'm just going to Bella's to get her stuff," I tell her. "Are you all right to stay here for a bit or do you need to get off? I'm sure she'll be fine but..."

"Of course I'll stay, Ed," she says gently.

I smile gratefully and turn to go before whipping back.

"Rose?"

"Yep?"

"Thanks for calling me...and for being a good mate. To Bella I mean." I hastily add.

"No worries," she says and walks off, leaving me wondering if tossing Rosalie Hale back into my life is fate's way of punishing me for casual sex.

The Tube is quiet; it's still early for a Sunday. When I step out at Camden Town the skies darken and rain begins to fall in an intense burst that is typical of London in "summer". Head down against the weather I barely notice the figure at the front door of Bella's building until I'm almost upon him. A huge guy, huddled under her porch with his phone to his ear. Whoever he is trying to call clearly isn't answering and he doesn't look happy about it.

"Can I help you, mate?"

He looks up a little startled, agitated.

"Oh, hey, maybe. Do you live here?"

I freeze when I hear his American accent. My fists clench, my blood pumps faster. Is this him? He's finally come here for her?

"Who are you?" I grit out. But even as he goes to reply I realise there is something familiar about his features, I've seen a photo of him somewhere. A slimmer, younger version but it's definitely-

"Emmett!" His name comes out on a gust of air and realise what an idiot I must look. "You're Emmett."

He frowns. "Yeah..." Then his eyebrows lift in realisation. "Oh right, you're Edward."

"Yeah, that's right. Sorry, I was a bit...well never mind. Come on, come in."

I put Bella's key in the lock and his eyebrow cocks higher, smirking a little.

"You have a key?"

I'm not really sure how that is his business but there's no point me being a dick about it I guess.

I push the door open. "Yeah, although only for today. Bella asked me to get something."

Emmett follows me into the hallway and up the stairs to Bella's door. Inside he throws down his bags and looks at me expectantly, still frowning.

"So where is she? She knows I was coming and it's too early to be out already."

The truth is Bella clearly forgot about his arrival in the midst of getting hurt and so did I. The problem is now I have to tell this stranger all about what happened last night.

I drag my hand through my hair, it's getting a real battering today. "Er...she's in hospital."

"What!"

Yeah good one, Cullen, that was delicately done.

Emmett has taken a step closer and looks seriously pissed off.

"She's totally fine, nothing to worry about. Just banged her head last night so they are keeping her in for concussion. We should have called you, sorry, but obviously it was all a bit manic."

He hasn't stepped back and he's still staring at me like he's thinking about hitting me.

"Banged her head? What the fuck did you do?"

His question may as well be a blow, as I feel it right in my stomach. How can he ask me that?

"I didn't do anything. Jesus Christ."

His mouth is a hard line, his face grim.

"What the hell happened then?"

I don't care if this bloke is built like a brick shithouse, he needs to curb his accusatory tone before I lose it.

I take a deep breath. "She was drunk, she walked into a post and hit her head, her eye."

We stare at each other for a beat longer. Finally, he steps back and actually chuckles a little. This guy is clearly mental.

"Yeah," he mutters. "That sounds like her actually."

I stare at him hard, silent. He finally has the grace to look a little sheepish.

"Sorry about that, man. I'm just a bit protective."

For some reason, his being protective over Bella doesn't make me feel much better.

"Well she doesn't need protecting from me, all right?"

He nods slowly. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just cranky, took the red-eye and didn't sleep a wink and then I had no idea where she was. Let's start over."

He holds out his hand "Emmett McCarty."

His grin is just ironic enough to calm me down and make me smile back.

"Ed Cullen." No way is he calling me Edward.

"Give me five minutes, I'll just go get Bella's stuff and I'll take you to see her."

"Is she really okay?" Emmett looks so concerned for her. Why does that irritate me?

"Yeah she's fine. She's concussed, like I say, they are just keeping an eye on her. She'll be home later."

It dawns on me that Emmett is clearly going to be staying here, in Bella's flat, and again I feel annoyed. I need to get a handle on...whatever this is. I know he's her best friend, her family really.

I catch him quickly glance down at the pamphlets left on the worktop just where Bella said. He quickly moves his eyes away, but avoids looking at me. I grab them and shove them in a drawer.

"Five minutes." I mumble and dive into the comfort of Bella's bedroom. I gather some clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste and the make-up remover she asked for into a bag and join Emmett in the living room where he is wandering around looking at everything curiously.

"Nice place." He muses, eyeing a jumper and pair of trainers that both belong to me. "You stay here a lot?"

Is he deliberately trying to wind me up or something?

"Yes." Obviously.

He looks like he wants to say something more then changes his mind.

"Come on, I'm done." I tell him and lead him outside.

The journey to the hospital is quiet. I try to make small talk but there is only so much we can say about the weather and his flight. Between him, Rosalie, Bella's accident and no sleep this is already a bloody long day. I comment on some football stats from the paper left on the seat next to me but he clearly has no clue about "soccer". Same as his views on Seattle's baseball team mean very little to me.

Of course the one thing we really have in common is Bella but most topics surrounding her are clearly out of bounds. I know he knows a lot about her relationship with Jake and I'm dying to pry but firstly that would be a break in Bella's trust that I would never make and secondly it's not really appropriate for me to start asking those questions when I only just met the guy. Similarly, I know he knows all about Bella's sexual situation and I can only assume she has shared our current status with him, he certainly didn't look surprised when he spotted the therapy literature, but hell will freeze over before I discuss my sex life, or lack there of, with a virtual stranger. This whole thing is difficult enough. So we sit in uncomfortable quiet, a conversation unsaid in the air between. I wonder if it's possible to die from over-exposure to awkwardness.

We reach the hospital after what seems like hours.

I poke my head round Bella's door, knocking gently.

"Hey, baby, I found someone." I smile.

Her gaze lands on Emmett and I can't help but laugh at the adorable combination of chagrin and delight in her expression.

"Oh shit! I forgot you!"

Emmett just laughs and wraps his giant arms around her.

"Don't worry about it, babe."

Babe? Ugh.

"I think I'll forgive you given the circumstances."

She giggles. Her face says it all, she is so happy to see him and I don't know if that makes me pleased for her or just jealous as hell.

"Let me look at you." He takes her chin in his hand and my fingers twitch.

Mine.

Fucking hell, Cullen, Neanderthal moment or what? Get. A. Grip.

"What happened? Trying to walk and chew gum at the same time again?" He teases, she laughs and I feel invisible.

He grows more serious, looking at her bruised face more closely, her bandaged wrist. His eyes go from one to the other and he shoots a sharp glance to me, his expression stormy.

Oh I would so like to land one on him right now.

"What really happened then?" He demands.

We already covered this, prick.

Bella frowns. "Did Edward not explain?"

"Yes, I did." I say pointedly, sitting down on the other side of the bed.

She looks at him questioningly.

"I want you to tell me, Bells."

Don't hit him don't hit him don't hit him.

"I got drunk, walked into a lamppost. I did this," she raises her arm, "on the way to the ground."

Bella smiles reassuringly, Emmett nods slowly and it takes everything I have to resist the urge to connect my fist with his accusing face.

"Okay," he says, finally. "Just as long as you're okay." He leans in and gives her another quick hug.

"I'm fine, Em. You know what a klutz I am."

He laughs. "I do know." He then begins regaling me with tales of several of Bella's clumsy encounters as if he hasn't just accused me, twice, of hitting my girlfriend . Is this bloke on acid or something?

I listen though, happy to consume as much information as I can about Bella.

Although it's lovely to see my girl completely relaxed with someone she clearly knows so well I can't help feeling tired and irrationally moody. A large part of me wants to grab my vulnerable girlfriend, take her away from this place and hole up just the two of us, where I can cuddle her and keep her safe. Unfortunately, this isn't going to be possible while Emmett is here and I'm unreasonably pissed off about it.

Maybe I'm the one that should be in therapy.

Ironically, it's Rosalie who ends up breaking my melancholy. When she enters the room Emmett leaps from his seat as if it's on fire. After they are introduced it becomes quite clear that Bella may as well be invisible to him. I'm certain my face settles into a permanent smirk while I sit back and watch him turn on the charm - exaggerating his accent, flashing her his megawatt smile and - oh my God - dimples? This bloke should do those cheesy, late-night American infomercials.

Meanwhile, Rose turns into the playful, giggling flirt I'm familiar with being on the receiving end myself. Credit where credit's due, apparently zero sleep and a budding hangover don't seem to slow her down when there's a cocky Yank eye-fucking her.

What a brilliant development. While Emmett is occupied trying to get his end away, he isn't pawing all over my bird and while Rose is flicking her hair and pushing her tits in Emmett's face she isn't shooting me uncomfortable glances. And I'm free to be with Bella. Win-win.

Bella shoots me an amused grin, alleviating any residual fears I may have about her feelings towards her best friend. While Emmett and Rosalie chat I slide closer to her, sneaking a teasing kiss.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Oh, here's your stuff," I remember, handing her the bag of things I collected from her flat.

"Thank you," she smiles at me like I've just given her a great gift. For the millionth time I marvel at how no other woman has ever come close to making me feel what Bella does.

"Oh and your key," I hand her back the bunch.

She looks from the keys to me and back again, smiling shyly, before sliding one off the ring.

"This is the spare." She bites her lip and I fight the urge to lean in and suck it how I want to. "Do you want to have it?"

"You're giving me a key to your place?" I ask, surprised.

She looks a little nervous now. "Um...yeah, I mean, if you want it."

Our conversation now seems to have captured the attention of Emmett and Rosalie who have fallen silent, watching us. Rose stares with rapt fascination and Emmett's protective frown is back in place.

In my almost 30 years I have never once held a key to my girlfriend's house. I never even had a real girlfriend until a couple of months ago. I guess to a lot of people it isn't a big deal, but to me it is. Bella has trusted me with her heart and now she is inviting me further into her life too.

Trying to pretend we're not being watched by Mr and Mrs Slutty I take the key and grin. I feel like I should say something cute or clever but in the end I settle for leaning in and kissing her.

"Yes, please." I murmur, with the knowledge that no matter how many issues we have, or how many of my ex-flings she decides to befriend, or how cocky her male best mate is, Bella Swan is mine.

And I want the whole fucking world to know about it.

A/N

Nicer place to end it this time, right?

I'm really excited to tell you guys that The Search has been nominated for a Wordsmith Award for Best Canon Story (that means canon pairing). I'm so incredibly touched and thrilled about it. Voting doesn't begin until 17th May, and shameless pimper that I am, you know I'll remind you again nearer the time but in the meantime feel free to check out the site and the many other categories and nominations (including Snow Job for Best Jasper, whoop!).

wordsmithawards .blogspot .co .uk

As always, I'm dying to get your feedback so please review. For teasers, recs and general ramblings please find me on Facebook under Amber's Pen.

Love always

A xxx