A/N

Happy Bonfire Night to my fellow Brits!

Firstly, thanks so much for your enthusiastic and passionate response to the last chapter (it seems the drama even brought out a few readers who haven't reviewed before which is awesome!). I'm relieved to see you all seem to have enjoyed the violence as much as I did! I know a few of you had reservations/questions as to Bella's decision not to report Jacob. I hope I explained my reasons well enough in my review replies but Bella will be telling you more in her own words this chapter which I hope will make sense to everyone :-)

There were a couple of people who expressed their frustration with Bella in a less polite way but I'm afraid some didn't sign in or do not have private messaging access turned on so I was unable to explain further. Should you still like an explanation please message me and I will happily respond.

Secondly, a fervent hope that every single one of my US readers is safe and sound after the devastation of Sandy, I watched the pictures with increasing horror and thought of you all xxx

Lastly, this chapter is pretty key so you'll see I've changed up the POVs a little bit, I hope everyone likes what I've done here. I haven't been this nervous since Chapter 10 but, at the same time, I can't wait to hear your response as this chapter is a personal favourite too. As always, deepest thanks to Trip, Lady V and H for making my words so much better.

London Rain - Heather Nova

I'm coming home to you
I'm alive I'm a mess
I can't wait to get home to you
To get warm and undressed

So keep me in your bed all day
Nothing heals me like you do

And where I'm home, curled in your arms
And I'm safe again
I'll close my eyes and sleep
To the sound of London Rain

Nothing falls like London Rain
Nothing heals me like you do

EPOV

The British are often accused of obsessing about the weather, but the truth is we have plenty of weather to obsess about. The best and worst thing about my beloved Blighty, is the distinctive and briskly changing seasons. Like that day, around Bonfire Night, where the air is so crisp you have to find gloves and it almost smells like Christmas. Or that morning in March or April when you still need a jacket but there is a scent in the air and the sky is clear and you know our version of summer is just around the corner.

Or that moment, like now, when the heaving heat of London gives way to a colder breeze, when office workers still eat lunch in the park but no longer trust their expensive suits to the grass and crowd on the benches instead. Where the tourists and visitors and outsiders the city welcomed with open, proud arms during the throes of summer, flee for warmer climes. In summer, my city welcomes the world but as the cold seeps in it battens down the hatches, returns to its grumbling and sarcastic true self and the only foreigners left are the ones who truly love this city, and who in return, the city will fiercely protect during the darker, colder days as one of its own.

Fortunately for me, my foreigner is going nowhere. The seasons will continue to change and we'd be foolish to think we'll never have to face fiery summers or cruel, chilly winters but if ever Bella is threatened again, London and I will protect her as our own.

It would be an understatement to say I've been feeling a little overprotective since...that night. I try not to even think about it because if I do, if I allow myself to recall the way my heart raced at Alice's call, at how my blood turned to fire when I opened that door and saw him on top of her, hurting her, then I fill with such pure and powerful rage I don't even recognise myself. So I've tried not to think of it, I've tried to just let Bella speak about it as much as she wants while I hold my own feelings back and listen calmly.

I was so afraid that Jake's return would set back the progress Bella has made, that his actions would force the beautiful, confident girl that has been blooming in front of my eyes these last few months, back into her broken shell. I worried his actions would change the girl I love. What I didn't bargain on was how bloody strong she is, how strong we are.

And now, two weeks later, I'm lying in bed, half-asleep, listening to Bella crashing around with pots and pans downstairs, the delicious smell of breakfast foods drifting up towards me.

Of course, it's a good job Bella is as strong as she is, after having to face more drama this week when she received that phone call from Washington. My heart clenches with worry for her and I smile a little sadly when I hear her begin singing along with the radio. Pretending everything is perfect, again. Maybe it is, maybe she doesn't care what happened on Jake's return to Forks, but I know her and her heart is too big to feel nothing.

I creep down from the bedroom and lean against the doorframe. Watching Bella at home in my kitchen is still one of my favourite things. I was kind of hoping she'd still be as naked as she'd been all night next to me but it's colder now. The heating is on for the first time and she's wearing a chunky, cream jumper of mine, so big it just about grazes the top of her bare thighs. On her feet are thick socks, pulled up almost to her knees, which are both utterly ridiculous and oddly sexy at the same time.

It would be true to say I've been struggling a little more with my control recently. I suppose a cynic would say part of the reason I crave Bella so badly, why my body feels a constant need to touch her and taste her, and how I'm never truly sated is because I can't be inside her. The unattainable is alluring to everyone. but I don't think it's only that. I've never felt drawn to any woman the way I am to her, and if I put my bloke card on the shelf for a second, I'll admit that the reason I want her so badly is because I love her so much.

The problem is trying to remain patient and calm, trying to still be satisfied with the sex life we have. For the most part I am satisfied, but the desire to feel that true closeness, to experience our connection to its fullest extent continues to grow. Resisting the urge to be inside her gets harder and harder every day - metaphorically and literally.

I don't admit this of course, except during therapy sessions when Maggie draws it out of me like a conversational wizard. After everything that Bella went through with Jake, I'm just grateful that she hasn't taken any steps backward in that respect.

She puts down the spatula and spins around with a grin, leaning back on the worktop.

"You're terrible at creeping up on people, Edward Cullen." She smiles. Her hair is falling out of its messy knot and her skin is scrubbed free of make-up and I need to kiss her.

Two strides and my hands are on her waist, her body so tiny under my thick clothes, and I kiss the smile off her face until she whimpers a little and slips her hand into the hair at the nape of my neck and then, like the needy moron I am, I'm whimpering too. I find the edge of my jumper and slip my fingers underneath. Warm, soft skin turns to goosebumps when I nibble her ear. I chuckle and surprise her by grabbing her hips and lifting her onto the clear bit of work surface behind her.

When I pull back her skin is flushed and her smile returns.

"Good morning, baby," she murmurs.

"Hiya," I grin. "Now what on earth are you cooking for me here that smells so amazing?"

She gestures to the many pans and much mess with a proud smirk.

"Full English Breakfast."

She hops down, slips on some oven gloves and pulls two plates from the oven loaded with sausage, bacon, hash browns, baked beans, mushrooms and tomatoes. She adds eggs from the frying pan and puts them on the breakfast bar where there is already toast and orange juice and a plate of-

"Eggy bread!" I hop over and stuff a piece of my favourite breakfast food from my childhood into my mouth. I'm surprised to find it's not the usual slightly salty, savoury treat I expected but instead my mouth explodes with sweet, syrupy goodness.

"Mmmm...what did you do to this?" I moan, mouth full.

She laughs, a carefree sound I'd been afraid I wouldn't hear for a while. Is she really totally fine?

"It's called French Toast, not eggy bread, you commoner," she teases. "And in America it's sweet."

I swallow and fork two more pieces onto my heaving plate.

"Well I do so enjoy sweet things from across the pond," I smirk.

She rolls her eyes and I start shovelling in the delicious brekkie. We smile and chat happily; about my parents and how much better they are getting on nowadays, about Emmett's email, thanking Bella for whatever she said to Rose, who is now being much more open with him. I complain about J and his ridiculous notion that my sister move in with him, the protective brother in me says that it's way too soon after his split with Maria.

Everything is normal but my over-protectiveness won't be held back any longer and I have to ask:

"How are you feeling about today? Are you okay?"

We're meeting with Maggie this morning. Last week we told her what had happened and she tried to get Bella to talk but...I don't know, she seemed so closed off, so numb.

Then four days ago that phone call came. A call that my girlfriend still seems reluctant to discuss aside from stating the bare facts in a cold, detached tone.

But I can't blame her really. I don't even know how I feel about that call. All I do know is, I'm glad that Jake is out of our lives for good.

BPOV

All I know is I'm glad Jake is out of our lives for good. Ever since Billy's call on Tuesday, Edward has been watching me like he is waiting for me to shatter into a thousand pieces.

I haven't. I won't.

From that moment just before I threw Jake out of my apartment I've felt oddly disconnected from the whole thing, like it wasn't really real. It's as though there are two Bellas, and the Bella of my past has nothing to do with me now.

I'd be lying if I said I was completely unaffected by Billy's call though. He was so distraught, so desperate. Begging me for answers. The only emotion I have felt even vaguely is guilt. Wondering what I should have done differently, wondering if it was my fault, if I tipped Jake over the edge. Billy doesn't deserve such heartache.

I also wonder if I did the right thing letting Jake go that night. How different things might have been if I had let Edward call the cops, but I couldn't have risked any trouble for Edward. That was my main motivation for letting Jake go. However, if I'm honest, it's not the only reason. If we had had Jake arrested then I wouldn't have gotten Billy's call, but the nightmare would have continued long past that night; I would have to relive every single moment of our past through the courts. Everyone would know my secrets, just like everyone in Forks knew.

I just wanted it over. And now, I guess I have my wish.

"Bella," Edward murmurs and I meet his concerned eyes, forcing a smile.

"I'm fine." I tell him, leaning over to kiss him softly, grateful for so much.

In the beginning, Maggie's office filled me with anxiety. But over time I have come to feel comforted by the sight and smell of it, knowing that with her gentle Irish lilt and almost-telepathic understanding she can make me feel safer and freer than before. However, today I can't help but feel a little anxious again. She can see right through me, whatever I say or do, and she will coax me to speak about things I'd rather forget.

I feel Edward's worried eyes on me, again. Our names are called and as we walk inside he squeezes my hand tightly, before bringing my fingers to his mouth and kissing them, making me melt and shiver a little.

"Good morning," Maggie greets us, standing and smiling. I smile back, we sit down and Maggie and Edward exchange a few pleasantries while I calm my breathing and try to push Billy's voice and words from my mind.

"Bella," Maggie says, I think for the second or third time.

"Yes?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to need you to talk a little more about Jake's visit."

I nod, dumbly. I know I have to tell her.

"Actually, there's been a...development. I got a call from the US this week."

Maggie frowns. "Jake made contact again?"

"Not exactly," I whisper, the clench of guilt around my chest making me unable to say the words.

There are a few seconds of silence before Edward mutters quietly:

"Jacob tried to kill himself."

I don't look up but I can tell just from Maggie's tone that she's not shocked. Almost nothing seems to faze her.

"What happened?" she asks, gently.

Edward catches my eye, silently asking if I want to tell this and I shake my head minutely.

"His father came home and found him." Edward's voice is factual, detached. "They took him to hospital, it seems he'd taken an overdose of his father's pain medication and washed it down with a bottle of vodka." He pauses. "Physically, he's okay but his father has had him sectioned, or the US equivalent, so he's now at a psychiatric hospital."

"I see," Maggie says. "And Bella, how did you find out about this?"

She wants me to talk. I need to, I know.

I look into her gentle face.

"Billy called me," I whisper. "That's Jake's dad. When he found him he-" I have to pause to swallow down the emotions that accompany this knowledge. "The signed divorce papers were right next to him, and when Jake...woke up, it seems he told his dad some of what happened between us. He wasn't entirely coherent but he gave enough hints that Billy called me looking for the truth."

"And what did you tell him?"

I take a deep breath.

"Everything. Billy is a good man and I didn't want to hurt him but then I realised I hadn't hurt him, Jake had. I need to face what happened as Jake apparently has. I need to be free of him."

Maggie nods. "That's right. What was Billy's reaction?"

"He was crying," I tell her, forcing back my own tears with irritation.

"But he believed you?"

I'm surprised by the question, but then I realise it's valid. I spent many years in that town, with Jake discrediting me whenever he could.

"Yes."

"And has Jake's confession made you feel any differently about reporting him?"

We talked a lot about this last week, confident that Maggie is bound by patient confidentiality. I think carefully, it's already a topic Edward has raised with me, but still I know only one answer.

"No. It's over. I don't want to relive a single moment."

Maggie nods. Last week she made her points very clearly, she thought that perhaps it would help me to see Jake punished but I know she also understands, and supports, my need to let it go.

"So how do you feel about what's happened to Jake, Bella?"

There is only one emotion.

"Guilty."

"Baby," Edward murmurs, sounding a little exasperated, but stroking my hand with his. "There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. I don't know how many times I can tell you that. He attacked you, for Christ sake!"

Maggie ignores Edward and asks.

"Why guilt?"

"In case the reason all of this happened is due to years of frustration caused by me."

"Look at Edward," Maggie says and I do. His gorgeous face is somewhere between frustrated and concerned, but his eyes are as gentle and loving as they have always been.

"Edward is currently in the same situation that Jake was in. I'm certain that, as much as he loathes admitting it in front of you-" she shoots Edward a slightly scolding glance "-he is also highly frustrated, a little desperate by this point." I watch as Edward swallows and struggles to hold my eyes. "Do you worry that Edward's frustration will lead to the same eventual outcome as Jake's did? That he will eventually attack you too. But it's okay, it's excusable, because you drove him to it?"

"No!"

Edward is gritting his teeth, eager to rebuke such an abhorrent suggestion.

"Right. So what's the difference?"

The answer is obvious, despite Maggie's fairly transparent game of devil's advocate.

"Jake is sick."

Maggie gives me a sad smile.

"And is Jake sick because of you?"

It's something I've often wondered. Did he drink more because we were having problems? Was he more angry? But Maggie has a point, could I imagine Edward becoming that way? Never. Thinking back on Jake's past, his family, his mother's addiction, it's quite clear that his problems started way before he began a relationship with me.

"No," I tell them, and Edward squeezes my hand.

Maggie nods.

"In fact, there's a totally different angle to look at this from," she continues. "What did you wish for Jake when he left your home two weeks ago?"

Edward tenses beside me; I can well imagine the harm he wished upon him. I shared in that anger too, but I also wanted something else.

"For him to get help."

"Exactly. And that's what he now has. Whether he deserves it or not is not a question you need to worry about. All you need to do is find a way to accept what happened in the past, what happened two weeks ago and where Jake has ended up."

I take a deep breath and share a look with Edward. He smiles gently. Edward is my future and Jake is well and truly my past. As much as I never want to relive a moment of that night, a part of me knows that facing up to what happened, and more importantly confronting the person I used to be, and dealing with both, will help me move on. And there's only one person I want to move on with.

I smile back and, ignoring Maggie, lean towards him to softly kiss him.

"I am definitely ready to move on for good," I tell Maggie with a smile.

"And Edward," she turns towards him with a quizzical look. "How do you feel?"

He looks a little taken aback. "About what specifically?"

"About Jake trying to hurt himself."

Edward frowns. "I can't say I feel much pity for him," he almost snarls. "Frankly, after what he did to Bella anything is too good for him."

Looking at me, he hastily adds. "Of course, I didn't want Bella to be upset further and she obviously felt something about the whole thing."

"You still feel angry?" Maggie asks, carefully.

"Of course! Look, I'm not the sort of person who wishes pain on others but he attacked my girlfriend for God's sake!"

I put a hand on his tense shoulder but he doesn't relax.

"I understand, Edward, I do. Anyone would be angry about what happened, but I think you need to find a way to move past it as well."

"As long as he never comes near Bella again there isn't a problem," he states coldly.

"This isn't about Jacob, this is about you. When you walked into Bella's apartment you acted on impulse, and that's natural. But the level of your rage, the lengths you went to, to physically hurt him, that's a concern to me."

I can sense that Edward is angry now. His whole body is tense and rigid.

"Have you struggled with anger in the past?"

"No," Edward answers, automatically, indignantly.

"Think carefully, please," Maggie probes, patiently.

I think about the man I love and his occasional erratic outbursts. He's fiery and I love that but there's a line between being passionate and having a short fuse and I have no idea if he has crossed it.

A shaky breath and then he admits. "I suppose I do fly off the handle occasionally."

Maggie makes a note on her pad, which I personally think is a sure fire way to irritate Edward further, and then tells him:

"I'd like us to have a one-to-one session at some point, just to discuss some anger management techniques-"

"Hold on, I don't-"

"Edward, there's no point me focusing my efforts on making sure Bella has dealt with what happened and then neglecting you, is there?"

God, she's good.

"Okay," Edward agrees, reluctantly.

"I have some excellent techniques I think might be able to help you." A strange, wistful, and frankly, inappropriate smile drifts over Maggie's face. "I have a...colleague in the US who specialises in this area. He has been...educating me."

Is she blushing? Well, well, well. Just a colleague Maggie, huh?

Edward arches an eyebrow at me and I grin while Maggie clears her throat.

"Anyway, we'll make an appointment."

"Sounds good," Edward says, much more amused than he was a moment ago.

Maggie composes herself a little and clasps her hands in front of her.

"Finally, let's talk a little about your sexual progress. Has the awful situation with Jake affected things, Bella?"

I think back over the last two weeks, even to what happened that night. After I'd cried every ounce of fear out of me, sitting on the carpet in my apartment with Edward wrapped tightly around me, he picked me up and took me to the bathroom. He ran me a bath and sat with me while I scrubbed every part of myself that Jake might have touched. But when we were warm under the covers, Edward holding me tightly, I turned in his arms and kissed him softly, then harder and more insistently. I touched him and tugged urgently at his sleep pants and t-shirt. Despite everything, I wanted him so badly. Edward is everything Jake isn't, and being with him was my way of cleansing my body and mind from everything else that had happened.

I begged him to take me that night, to try to be inside me. I think I was desperate for that date to be about something else other than Jake's visit. To prove to Edward and myself that I was still me, I was still strong, I hadn't regressed to the pathetic girl of my past.

Edward had refused, naturally. He told me that, not only was it a terrible idea as clearly I wasn't going to be relaxed after what had happened, but also that he didn't want it to happen that way, as a reaction to Jake. He was right, of course, and if we had tried, and I couldn't, I can't even imagine the sense of failure I would have felt.

Since then though, I have been determined not to let us come off track. This week we used dilator 3 and I feel more and more ready every day.

"Strangely," I answer, "things haven't taken a step back at all in that area." I smile at Edward who sends me a cheeky wink. I do love the way he is no longer afraid of discussing all this with Maggie.

Maggie grins. "Well I am very pleased to hear that. Dilator 4 next then?"

"Yes," I smile, a small thrill going down my spine at the progress we've made.

With every passing day, my resolve slips, my patience wears thin. The desire to be with Edward, properly, consumes my waking thoughts - including those when I'm at my desk and should be working. But how can I not be thinking of him then too? When he's right there in front of me, looking delicious in snug grey pants and a black button down. Jess has left for the day so without her embarrassing scrutiny, I'm free to sneak glances through the glass. His hand tugs his hair as he concentrates intently on something on his screen. He reaches for a file, long beautiful fingers grasping, forearm flexing - my God, this man is dangerous.

And mine.

And soon I'm going to really stake my claim, in the most basic sense possible.

Good God, Swan. Horny much? You'd better calm down, he'll be looking even sharper later and you need to get a handle on your hormones.

Just as I'm chastising myself his eyes snap to mine, and he grins.

My internal line buzzes and I grin too.

"Sir?" I answer him, cheekily.

"Miss Swan, can I see you in my office for a moment?"

Hiding my smile I slip inside and he motions for me to close the blinds. Most of Volturi's staff have left early today anyway, it's the End of Financial Year party and most have gone home to get ready.

Edward stands up and walks to stand in front of his desk. He grips my hips and pulls me towards him. I gasp a little when he places two warm, open-mouthed kisses on my neck and slips his hand down to squeeze my ass.

I grab his hair and pull his mouth to mine, groaning when he gives me his tongue. He half sits on the desk, pulling me into him and I raise my knee to grind against him.

We break away breathing heavily, and he smiles.

"What have I said about staring at me in the office?"

"Sorry," I grin, insincerely.

He runs two fingers down the opening in my blouse, playing with the top button.

"I'm on the shortest of fuses as it is right now," he murmurs, green eyes teasing and bright. "Do you really want to push me over the edge?"

Yes. God, yes.

I just shrug.

He places one final, lingering kiss on my lips.

"Get out of here before I get us sacked. I still have to finish this report so why don't you go home and get changed and I'll meet you at yours at seven?"

"Okay," I agree, already wondering what he's going to wear tonight and imagining how yummy he will look.

At home, I select black and purple lace underwear and a simple black satin dress, strapless and knee-length. I give my hair as much volume as I can with large Velcro rollers and hair spray and carefully apply smokey eye shadow. I feel pleased when I study my reflection - I look...sexy, which is definitely my aim for tonight.

I meet Edward outside and his slack jaw tells me I've achieved my goal. I hardly notice though because I'm too busy staring at him - my Lord that man knows how to dress.

I have never wanted anyone so badly in all my life.

EPOV

I have never wanted anyone so badly in all my life.

If the way Bella looked at the Anniversary party knocked me down, the way she looks tonight knocks me down and then runs me over with a lorry.

She is sex personified. She is always beautiful and often sexy but tonight I can hardly concentrate on what she's saying, or even where we're walking, because all I can think about is taking her. All I can think about is my mouth on her skin and holding her amazing tits in my palms and getting her warm and undressed in my bed. And finally getting my cock inside her.

Fucking hell.

"Baby, are you okay?"

"Eh?"

Bella stares up at me, baffled.

"Oh yeah, yeah I'm fine. I've told you that you look criminally hot tonight, right?"

She smiles shyly. I want to bite her lip. And her neck. And her nipple-

"Three times."

"Right. Well, you do. Four times." I grin, trying to calm my heartbeat and deflate my dick.

When we arrive The Cavendish, I wonder if I can actually bear to let her out of my sight. The idea of all those arseholes we work with staring at her, chatting to her, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek - ugh, it makes my blood boil.

I check my coat and Bella's shawl/wrap thing but I'm utterly distracted by her closeness. She smells incredible.

"Um, Edward?" she says softly.

"Yeah?" Wow, how do birds make their eyes look so big?

"You're kinda squashing me a tiny bit." She gestures to the arm I have around her waist, practically crushing her into my body.

"Shit. Sorry."

Smooth Ed has left the building.

"Hi Aro," she greets our boss warmly as he approaches.

"Isabella. Absolutely bloody stunning." He paws at her arm and lifts her hand to his lips in a cheesy fashion. Bella smiles indulgently and I remind myself that he's my employer and I kinda like him and I definitely cannot rip his arm off.

What the fuck is wrong with me tonight? Jesus, Maggie might be right about needing anger management.

"And Eddie, how's my man of the moment?"

It takes me a moment to even realise what he's talking about, which is truly testament to Bella's distraction abilities. Tonight he'll be announcing my promotion to Head of Sales and Marketing, something I have been waiting for, for a very long time. Except now I'd happily sack it off to take Bella home this instant.

What is it the Yanks say? Get your head in the game, Cullen.

"Very well, thanks Aro. Should be a great party."

"Oh indeed it should, I've started a tab and have a lovely 18-year old, single malt behind the bar if you fancy a tipple?"

I suspect Aro may have already had a few nips.

"I may well do that, cheers."

"Bella!" Jess squeals, appearing beside us.

"Looking sharp, Boss." She winks theatrically and kisses my cheek. I'm fairly certain I now have bright red lipstick all over me.

"Come on then, love," she says, gently prying Bella from my side. "Not planning on hanging with Management all night, are you?" She adds, in a stage whisper, "Ange is already scoping the best canapés."

Aro just chuckles and eyes Jess's arse as they walk off. And he calls me a pervert.

For the next two hours I barely get five minutes to seek out Bella. Instead I keep a distracted eye on her from across the room. She chats and laughs and moves from group to group with ease. I marvel at how far she's come from the shy, awkward girl who attended the last Volturi event. I'm so proud that even after what happened with that psychotic bastard she is still able to be her new self, her true self. And she is so fucking beautiful. I want her so much it's frightening, just as I did six months ago.

Eventually I manage to excuse myself from my colleagues and grab her arm as she's on her way back from the bar. Desperate for a moment alone, I pull us around the corner from the main room and coax her into my arms. I press her gently against the wall and breathe in her hair. She loops her arms around me and holds me just as close.

"I missed you," she whispers and my whole body feels warm. Of course, one particular part feels especially warm to have her pressed so close.

I lift her perfect hair and gently kiss her neck, jaw, cheek, the corner of her mouth. Her lips part in an adorable little sigh.

"Where you been all night?" I whisper against her mouth.

"Around."

I pull back and give her a corny grin. "Where you been all my life?"

"America," she sasses but I cut her off by sucking her bottom lip between mine. She opens her mouth and I wonder how I'll make it through the rest of the evening.

Just as our kiss slips from certificate PG to 15, I hear Aro's voice coming over the mic. I'm up. In more ways than one.

"Bollocks," I mutter reluctantly, letting Bella go.

"Go get 'em," she whispers, her Yankee enthusiasm so contagious. She presses her lips to mine once more before straightening my tie and swiping the lip gloss from my mouth with her thumb. How can that be so bloody sexy? She slips off to join Jess and Angela where they are watching Aro from their place at the bar.

I take a moment to, um, compose myself before slipping out to the crowd. Aro gives his usual speech before finishing up by talking about me.

"As you all know, Edward has been a consistently high biller and successful consultant for several years. He has a fantastic gift for handling clients, especially tricky ones," A scattering of chuckles emit from my colleagues. "And his recent success with the Coleman assignments has been outstanding. I must say a thank you to Jessica at this point too for her fantastic research support." There is applause and Jess jokingly performs a curtsy that turns into a bit of a drunken stumble. I hold in a snigger.

"In addition, Ed's PA Bella, has been a fantastic support on this project." Aro holds my eyes with a smirk. "It seems she and Ed enjoy excellent teamwork."

Predictably, the room erupts into applause, laughter and wolf-whistles. I catch Bella's eye and admire the beautiful blush high on her cheeks as we exchange a grin.

"The combination of the fantastic management of this key account and Ed's years of loyalty and hard work mean that as of Volturi's new financial year, Edward Cullen will be taking the position of Head of Sales and Marketing."

More applause from the crowd and cheers from Bella and Jess.

I make my way to the front of the room, thank Aro and begin my pre-prepared mini speech on my plans for the Marketing Search division. I can't help thinking back to how I felt about this promotion when Aro first hinted at it. Back then it meant status and some more money to flash around. It meant another tool to impress the birds with and a new TV surround system for the bachelor pad. It meant more time at the office, more work to bury myself in.

Now, I realise it means something completely different. It's security. It's a company car. It's a better apartment, maybe even a house. It's a future for Bella and I. It means I can take care of her and keep her safe.

After I've said my piece, including my own thank yous to Jess and Bella I meet her at the bar. Everything feels so similar to last time, and yet utterly different. We're different, Bella and I. We're happier, stronger people because we met.

"I have a three-fold plan," I murmur in her ear, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Oh yeah? Will you share?"

I hold out one finger.

"First, buy Bella a drink."

She laughs warmly as I order her a Cosmopolitan. She sips it a little seductively, the naughty madam.

"So what's next?" she smirks.

"Get Bella to dance with me."

She licks her lips and glances towards the dance floor. "Well, that seems doable."

"You are doable, cheeky," I mutter, tapping her bum and then guiding her with my hand on the small of her back.

With none of the hesitancy of last time I pull her body close to mine. We move together and I pull her hips in tight against me, not caring who's watching. Almost everyone is drunk by now anyway.

My heart pounds in my chest when, just like before, she slips her hand up my neck and into my hair. Again, my hands involuntary flex with the need to really touch her. She trails her hand from my waist to my stomach and my cock presses hard again my suit trousers.

"I need to get you out of here," I say, shocked by my low voice.

"Yes," she whispers, shivering a little.

Without even pausing to say goodbye, we slip out like we did before, and then finally, blissfully we're alone.

Outside it's raining heavily but I barely notice when Bella pulls me into an alley and backs herself up against a wall, pulling me towards her by my tie. We're all mouths and hands and wet clothes. I can taste the rain and the cocktail and, oh God, her, her, her.

She hitches her leg around me and I lift her hips, not even caring that her dress has now ridden up. She wraps her legs around me and I press her to the wall, catching the rainwater dripping into her cleavage with my desperate tongue.

I think I might have tried to get inside her in that alley if it weren't for the jeers and wolf whistles of a group of passers by snapping us out of our haze.

"Home. Right now," I practically growl. She answers with a whimper and hastily straightens her dress while I grab her hand to search for a cab. The West End of London at 11 o'clock on a Friday night, in the rain, of course not a single taxi has it's light on.

"Let's take the subway," Bella says eagerly. "I don't care, I just need to get there." She grabs my hair and pulls my face to hers, as if we aren't already on the exact same page.

"I need to be alone with you," she murmurs. "Please."

The tube journey feels like forever but eventually Camden station slides into view and then we're outside again, drenched and desperate.

I barely have my key out of the lock before my hands are fumbling for the zip on Bella's dress. Thankfully, she seems just as greedy as me as she wrenches off my tie and pulls open my shirt between kisses.

"That first time, when I followed you home in the rain," I say, breathless.

Her soft moan tells me she's listening.

"I was so frightened, baby. I'd never felt so unnerved by a woman until then. That kiss," I groan when she uses my belt to pull me towards the bedroom, "I'll never forget it, Bella. I've never wanted to kiss anyone so fucking much."

"Just kiss me, then," she groans. "Kiss me now. Show me, I need you so much, baby..."

"Fuck," I mutter, taking her mouth and pushing the soaked black satin off her body. We tumble to the bed and she writhes under me, her obvious desire beginning to shred the careful control I've been clinging on to by the barest of threads these last few months.

Thirsty for the taste of her skin, I drag my mouth over her collarbone. My fingers stumble in my haste to undo her bra and tear it off and she cries out when I take her hard nipple in my mouth. I grind my steel cock against her thigh.

I push whispers of need into her flesh. "But even then. Even that night, I never knew it could be like this. That I could fucking want...need someone like this."

Her whimper almost sounds like a sob when I massage her clit through her underwear.

She murmurs my name over and over as I drag her knickers down and away. I pin her hip with one hand and slide the other down to her pussy. She is wet and slick and exactly as I need her to be. Two fingers slip in so easily that I let out a noise so desperate it startles me.

She reaches her own hands to my fly and the moment her fingers brush the head of my cock the basest of needs takes over. She pulls away my trousers and boxers and strokes me firmly and I realise with perfect clarity I don't want her to make me come with her hands, or her mouth. I don't want to climax on her body this time, streams of my seed just wasting in the air. I want to take her. I want to make her mine, completely and finally.

I cover her body with mine, taking her mouth with my tongue the way I want to take her pussy with my cock. I slip against her wetness and eagerly thrust my hips.

"Tonight," I groan. "Please..."

The rest of my words die when she crushes her mouth to mine but they flow through my head ungoverned.

Let me have you. Let me show you. Let me love you.

Let me fuck you.

And then, suddenly, the train of desire screeches to a shuddering halt when only one image floats in front my eyes.

Her face. My old room. Southend. Her expression contorted in pain and tears racing down her cheeks as I tried to push inside.

"Wait...stop it!" I wrench myself off her with a strength I never thought I had and collapse on my back beside her. I close my eyes and cover my face with my arm and all I can hear is my ragged breaths and the blood rushing in my ears.

"I almost...I wanted...I'm sorry," I whisper.

I hear her move close to me but I don't look at her. I can't without feeling either guilty or losing myself in her body again.

Her voice is so quiet I can barely hear it over the rain hitting the windows and my own heartbeat.

"Don't."

My heart sinks to the floor.

Don't.

No.

Stop.

Of course. She's not ready and I'm some kind of fucking animal, barely a step up from Jacob.

She leans nearer and I can smell her perfume. I feel her move her lips to my ear.

"Don't say sorry."

I don't breathe, don't move.

"Don't stop."

I'm silent and she says my name. She slides her hand across my chest, down my stomach. I reach out and grab it.

"Please, Sweetheart," my voice is broken and weak. "Don't...tease.I can't...I'm not in control right now. I'm afraid," I swallow. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

She sighs and the bed shifts as I feel her lean over me. Is she trying to actually kill me?

"Edward," she says in a stronger voice. "Baby, look at me."

She pulls my arm away from my face, I open my eyes. She stares back with such sincerity it makes my breath catch.

"I don't want you to be in control."

I stare.

"I don't want you to stop."

I breathe in.

"I want you inside me."

"But-" she cuts me off with her finger on my lips.

"You're not going to hurt me. I promise."

She removes her finger and brushes her lips against mine.

"I'm ready."

I take a breath to steady my voice, I try to stop my heart crashing out of my chest.

"Bella, you haven't finished your therapy. Maggie-"

"Maggie doesn't know everything." She straddles me. "She doesn't know about us."

She kneels up, taking my hand to pull me with her.

Her eyes are so full of determination and passion, I can't look away.

"It's like you said in the park. I trust it. This is bigger than us. This connection-" she smiles so simply, so fucking beautifully, "it's taking over."

"I love you." She says the words so simply, like they solve everything. Like nothing else matters but that fact.

Maybe it doesn't.

She slowly guides my hand between her legs, encourages my fingers inside her.

"Feel how wet I am, baby. How open. I want to feel all of you."

She is so wet, so ready it brings my cock back to life. Does she feel normal now? Can we do this? I'm so used to feeling only Bella I've forgotten how other women feel.

I slide my fingers back and forth and she finally breaks eye contact to drop her head back like her neck is made of rubber. I move my thumb over her hard clit and she let's out a cry that I end up almost mirroring. I curl my fingers until I find that spot, that place I taught her about. She shivers and shudders and I place my mouth on her throat and then she suddenly pulls back.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Ugh, no," she almost growls and I have to hold back a grin. She stares at me.

"I don't want to come like that."

She pushes me back and leans over me again.

"I want...your dick...inside me."

And just like that the guilt clears away. My worries fade a little. Everything feels...simple.

"Okay."

She draws a deep breath.

"Okay?"

BPOV

"Okay." He smiles.

We fall back into each other and it's exactly like before but at the same time totally different. We are desperate and needy but a calm has settled over us too. There is certainty and a little patience.

Everything is familiar, his lips, his hands, his smell, and yet there is something new too, something fresh and exciting.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but it is nothing like the fear sex has brought to me before. Maggie has shown me I can be strong, that I can control my own body. I know who I am now, and exactly what I'm capable of.

"God, Edward," I whimper when he brings me to the brink again. I feel his cock between my legs. "Now...please."

And then he's gone, kneeling at the edge of the bed while I shiver in the cold air.

"What are you doing?"

He shoots me a shy smile over his shoulder.

"We need a condom, Sweetheart."

Right.

Um...

"Actually...we don't."

He pauses with his hand halfway in his nightstand and frowns.

"We don't?"

"No...I, I kinda went to the doctors and...got the shot."

He stares at me. Then slowly closes the drawer and crawls towards me. He lifts me by my ass and lowers me to his lap, wrapping my legs around him. He rocks his pelvis and I bite my lip to keep from moaning.

"You went on contraception without telling me?" his tone is accusing but he's smiling a little as his kisses a trail from my shoulder to my hairline.

"Kinda."

He moves to face me, his expression more serious.

"You planned this?"

"No, not exactly. It was...just in case, you know?"

He nods and kisses me, softly, sensually.

"I love you," he murmurs. "I'm going to show you how much."

I shiver as his leans forward to lay me on the bed beneath him. My heart races and I take a few breaths to try to steady it. The weight of his body on top of me makes me feel so warm, so safe. He reaches between us and slowly strokes my clit; I couldn't be more ready. He adjusts his cock so we're completely lined up and I try not to hold my breath. Then I feel him chuckle a little.

I raise an eyebrow. He runs a hand over his face.

"It's silly but...I actually feel a little nervous myself."

I smile and frame his face with my hands.

"Well that makes two of us."

I feel him start to slowly push forward before he says:

"Bella, if it hurts you have to tell me okay?"

I nod. I stare into his eyes. "Look at me. No hiding this time. I have my eyes wide open."

He kisses me, strokes me and so slowly begins to push inside.

There is familiar stretching and a slight, dull ache but nothing like before. I remember everything I've learnt, I keep control of my muscles.

Edward lets out a breathless curse and I concentrate on his face, his furrowed brow, his escalated breathing.

I feel fuller and it's tight but it's not painful.

More, further, another inch. There's the tiniest twinge of pain and I feel panic rise for a second but one look at Edward's face helps me to push it away.

"Are you all the way in?" I ask, hardly breathing.

"Almost..." he groans, his voice strained and his face buried in my neck. Another push from his hips and- "Yes."

I'm scared to move, or breathe. Everything feels surreal. I can feel him inside me - full and hard and throbbing a little. And it's okay. It doesn't hurt. It's...fucking amazing.

"Oh fuck," he whispers. "Oh God...Bella. So tight, baby. So fucking good."

"I can feel you," I can hear the wonder in my own voice. "I can feel you inside me. It's..."

"I know, fuck, I know."

He moves his hips back a fraction and I contract my muscles, testing myself.

"Jesus..."

I guess he felt that then. He stills and I realise, just like always, he's waiting for me.

I grasp the hair at the back of his neck.

"Move, baby. I'm totally okay."

He pulls half way out and slides back in, and again, and again. Each time is easier but I'm still a little afraid to break my concentration.

He pumps his hips a little quicker, he gasps every time his hips are flush with mine.

"Bella...Bella, never before. Oh God, it's never been like this."

I relax into his rhythm, every moment without pain making me more and more confident.

"We're doing this..."

"Yes," he grunts. "Fuck, yes we are."

I move my hips with his, pushing against him, and he breathes needy breaths in time with mine. He pushes and grinds and we both moan.

"This is...I can't even. Inside you, baby. It's...fuck...I can't get enough."

I groan my agreement and he moves the pace up a little.

He pulls his head back to look into my eyes. His are dark and heavy and strained.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"More?"

"Yes."

"Wrap your legs around me."

I do and his slips deeper and it catches me off guard, but still there's no pain.

"So good, so good. Fucking hell." Every word he says makes me shiver and clench around him.

"Show me what to do," I suddenly feel so inexperienced and want to make this even better for him.

"Show you?" he groans. "Baby...I don't need to...show you. I'm barely holding on...as it is."

He collapses his head against my shoulder again, losing himself, groaning over and over.

He's still going quite slowly though.

"Don't you want to...go faster?"

"I can't. I'm so fucking close."

He lifts his head, capturing my lips and kissing me hard. His kisses are sloppy and desperate and he moves over and over between my legs until the beginnings of my climax start to build. We forget kissing and just breathe each other's air.

"Baby...can you come? Are you close?" his eyes are wild.

And the truth is I don't know if I can. I'm just happy to be doing this at all.

He must read some truth in my face. He halts his hips and traces a hand down my cheek, frowning.

"Of course you're not. Fuck, I'm a dick."

"No," I cry a little desperate for him to carry on before something changes, before it hurts. "Don't stop. It's okay, I don't need to. I just want you to come inside me. Please!"

He moves again, slow and steady, and I watch him close his eyes in restraint and pleasure before opening them again to look at me.

"Sweetheart, after all of this do you honestly think I'm going to finish without you?"

"But what if I-"

"You can," he groans, pushing forward. "You can."

He moves faster and deeper. He brings a hand between us and touches my clit until I'm shaking. He slips his hand underneath my ass to pull me up to meet him. I rock against him and meet every thrust.

"Just relax," he gasps. "You don't need to concentrate anymore, okay?"

"But-"

"But nothing. Don't think, Bella. Just feel. We are doing this and it's perfect...God, it's perfect."

His words in my ear and his cock reaching that deep place that only he can reach have tingles beginning deep in my vagina.

"Just feel, baby. Just feel me. I'm inside you. Finally inside you. You're so hot and wet and I can feel everything."

He moves faster, thrusts harder and I gasp and moan.

He grinds against my clit with each thrust and my orgasm builds and builds and I realise I can come. I will come.

"That's it. Oh God, that's it. I can feel you clenching me with your pussy."

"Harder, Edward."

"Yes."

"Faster."

"I can't, baby. I need to hold off." He stares into my eyes, desperate. "I need you to come. I need it. Do you understand?"

More and more and higher and harder and I wonder if I'll actually stop breathing. And still his words in my ear - dirty and honest and exactly what I need.

"Feel it all. My fingers on your clit. My dick in your pussy."

"Edward," I must be breathing if I can say his name. "Edward."

"Yes. Mine."

"Close."

"Come on then, baby come for me. Come around me."

And I do. With Edward inside me for the very first time. With his eyes burning into mine and his hands gripping my hips, the hardest orgasm of my life ravages my entire body.

It's still going when his thrusts suddenly become faster and more erratic and he gasps into my shoulder how much he loves being inside me, how much he loves me before freezing and emptying everything he has inside me.

The room is oddly silent besides our breathing. I feel like pinching my skin to prove that really just happened, but the slightly uncomfortable feeling of fluid inside, as well as Edward's softening erection, is reminder enough.

He lifts his head and meets my eyes and I can feel a grin tugging at my mouth.

"We just had sex," I whisper.

He smiles back and don't think I've ever seen him so relaxed.

"Yeah." He leans down to give me a slow, passionate kiss. "We did."

He gingerly pulls out of me and I gasp, it feels so odd.

"Are you alright? Does it hurt?"

I shake my head. "No. Just a little ache. No more than it would if I were normal-"

And with that word - normal - everything crashes down. Every moment of my life up to now when I have longed to be normal, when I have felt like a freak or a child or a sub-level person because of this one simple, normal, act I couldn't do plays out in my mind. The sheer fucking relief hits me like a wrecking ball and before I even realise it sobs are shaking my whole body and Edward is holding me as close as he possibly can.

He says nothing, just holds me and rocks me and kisses my hair until I manage to get control of myself. As my tears stop I grip him harder.

"I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"I know. I understand. I'm relieved too. So much." He kisses me. "Christ, you're just amazing."

"You're amazing," I tell him, kissing him and holding him as if he might disappear. We lie facing each other and I stare into his emerald eyes while he stares back, smiling.

"Thank you for fixing me."

He shakes his head. "Bella, I never thought you were broken."

A/N

*releases breath* So, there you have it. Thank you so much to everyone who has waited so patiently for Britward and Yankella to FINALLY do the deed, I really hope I haven't disappointed anyone. Sadly, we're on the home straight now, I think there will only be two or three more chapters - I actually want to cry just thinking about saying goodbye to my beloved Britward. But, fear not, as next chapter they will definitely be making up for lost time.

I'm not above begging for reviews this time. Please please PLEASE click that button and share your thoughts *bites nails*

Rec Time

My recent reading list includes:

Last Call by Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy - I am DESPERATELY late to this party but boy am I glad I came! Yummy's Callward is the sexiest, sweetest Cabanna Boy/hotel owner you'll ever encounter.

Under The Master's Kilt by my fabulous pre-reader ladyeire3 - This cheeky drabble has just begun posting so get it while it's hot hot hot.

Try by shellshock81 - I'm ashamed to admit that despite being Shell's friend for a good long while I had no idea she was also an incredibly talented writer until she recently began posting this wonderful story. This adorable and smoking hot foray into the world of Kiwi rugby will have your heart racing for sure.

Love and thanks
Amber x