Ed was pacing back and forth across the floor in irritation, and Roy watched the young man feeling a bit bad about what had occurred.
Every few moments Ed would cast a dark look over his shoulder before swiveling his head back around. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Roy had known this question was going to come sooner or later, and he'd tried several different ways to phrase the question they all simply sounded like excuses, excuses Ed did not need. He needed the truth.
But for Roy – what was the truth? Abigail had asked him – 'What was Ed to him? What did Ed mean?'. Roy wasn't sure he was ready to answer those questions at the moment. Ed's eyes flashed a deep gold as he turned to pace back to the other end of the room.
He didn't demand an answer right away, showing that he had some restraint and understanding for what Roy was going through. But Ed didn't look at him either and although he didn't say anything he could see those shoulders growing tighter and tighter. Every few moments he could hear the clack of teeth in the quiet and a part of Roy wondered how long Ed would hold his tongue.
Roy decided not to test the young man's patience any further and answered softly, "You don't want excuses and I only have excuses to give you. I simply didn't tell you because I haven't really told anybody. I didn't think you needed to know. If we had decided to become serious, I would have told you. But I didn't know if this would last, so I didn't mention it."
Ed gave him a seething look that asked him to explain further. "I haven't had any permanent lovers in a while. Mostly just simple weekend days with women and the occasional man. Nothing special – just – release."
"Am I that? A simple weekend fling?"
For once Roy couldn't find his tongue to answer. Was Ed a fling? Roy let his eyes flick up to look at the young man and he could see him becoming incensed.
His voice growled out loudly, "Am I?"
Roy's tongue was still glued to the top of his mouth and he couldn't answer, something was stopping him and he wished he knew what it was.
Ed licked his lips and turned to face the window. "Get out," he ordered softly. Golden eyes had darkened and his lips were drawn tight, his whole body tense and angry.
When Roy didn't move he repeated, "Get out, Mustang."
Roy glanced into the window and caught Edward's gaze. It was unwavering, and it didn't reveal what the young man was thinking. He watched as Edward blinked, but didn't say anything as Roy moved forward.
"I'm not trying to…not answer, I'm trying to decide what to say."
Ed turned his head to the side and looked at the wall and Roy felt his own aggravation rising to the surface. With Ed, with himself, with Abigail, with his whole damnable situation.
Roy closed his eyes briefly and did his best to construct the mask he had gotten so used to wearing and told Ed gently, "I'm not sure what you are. I enjoy your company, we've been allies for – years – and I like to think we at least are friends. That is all true, and while it was enjoyable, I'm not sure what it was a prelude to." He answered honestly. "I'm not sure how I feel. Do you know how you feel?"
Edward finally turned and he had the full force of that gaze on him. "I do." He answered just as truthfully. "Honestly, Mustang, I'm still mad at you. Pissed as fuck in fact, but it's really not your fault. This is my problem and I can fix it – myself."
Roy was trying to tread carefully on this ground. "Fix what?"
Ed's eyes flashed and he responded slowly. "This attraction to you." He shrugged. "It's obviously something you're not totally invested in or interested in pursuing, so I'm not going to force it. It was a onetime thing, I get that. I suppose we do need to figure, whatever could be out before we carry on."
Ed's maturity was outstanding, but he was so far off, that Roy almost wondered how he'd gotten there if he hadn't known that it was his words that had confused him.
"Edward," Roy spoke softly as he stepped forward and placed a hand on the young man's shoulder. "I wasn't saying we should stop, I was saying, I'm not sure how I feel about you – some things are too early to say, to even know your own heart yet."
He drew his hand up to cup Ed's cheek. Edward covered Roy's hand with his and turned his face into the palm.
"I know exactly what you mean," he whispered, eye's closed, his lashes fanning out on his cheeks. Those eyes opened slowly and Ed stared at him half lidded. "We'll give it time then, and see what happens."
His breath tickled Mustang's wrist and Roy pulled him into a hug. Ed tucked his face into the man's shoulder where he breathed quietly. He could feel hands clench into his shirt. Roy looked down at the head of blonde hair and pressed a kiss to it ever so gently as if afraid of waking the beast. As he pulled away he saw Ed's eyes had closed again.
"Still mad at you," he grumbled with a little bit of his good humor revived. Roy felt Edward lick his lips and was barely able to repress a shiver at the thought…and then Ed spoke again. "Thank you."
And Roy felt something in his breast stir and beat with an uneven rhythm. His hand was still cradling the back of Ed's head and as he looked down yet again he felt Edward's hand move above his shirt and press over his heart. "Your hearts pounding," Ed informed him, leaving his hand where it was.
Your hearts pounding, the words echoed in his head. He blinked a few times and Maes voice resounded in his head,
Every time I see Gracia it feels like my hearts going to burst.
Roy remembered this sensation very well.
Love.