"Please, you have to get out while you still can." Wonderland cocked her head to the side. She gave Lithuania an extremely long and awkward stare. He returned it, trembling so heavily Wonderland debated whether or not she should stuff a wallet in his mouth to keep him from biting his own tongue off. Estonia and Latvia were busy dressing her wounds with bits of old, musty gauze and little adhesive pads that soaked up her blood but they managed to chime into the conversation.

"I'd very much advise you to leave this place." Estonia whispered, trying to keep his voice down in case the fearful Mister Russia was closer than he thought.

"If you don't leave Russia is going to kill you and wear your skin like a fancy cape!" Latvia latched himself onto Wonderland's waistcoat and exploded into a howling improv speech about the horrible things Mister Russia would do to her if she didn't get out of his house immediately. But halfway through the Latvian started crying and everything sort of turned into a mix of gibberish, tears, and a surprising amount of snot for such a little boy. Wonderland wasn't quite sure how to deal with this information. One half of her head said that she should seriously consider what possible threat her new friend was bringing into her life while the other half of was fascinated by a fluorescent blue pony standing in the corner that nobody else could see.

And the other other half of her consciousness, because Wonderland was the only existing human who could split her consciousness into three halves, was singing a song about the West Indian river manatee. It became quite apparent which half she should listen to after a good moment of thought. So it was thus decided that the pony of neon cerulean should be dubbed Maplehoof Guardian of Syrups and Serums.

And so he was. Wonderland nodded with satisfaction, having completely checked out of the room where so much was happening. For someone who held such a high position in her own country, she had a nasty habit of running away from any problems that presented themselves. Her way of dealing with things was to run away from them. Well, at least it was now. Wonderland quickly went back to thinking about Maplehoof, focusing all three halves of her brain on the glistening horse.

"But Russia's my bestest friend..." Wonderland responded after Latvia had finished bawling. She gave his head a few soft pats before throwing herself onto her feet. Much like her soon-to-be-diabetic brother, she threw a finger in the air and let out a roar of pride,

"And you never betray your bestest friend!"

"You're friends with Mr. Russia?" the Trembling Trio proclaimed this at the top of their lungs and in perfect unison. How could anyone be friends with such a cruel, unforgiving, evil man? The groups reactions to this news differed. Latvia found himself bawling so profusely that Wonderland's dress was sopping wet within about a minute, Estonia produced a large metal pipe from beneath the sink, cracked the nearest window open, and climbed to freedom, and Lithuania made the tragic mistake of calling his only friend.

Poland.

The worst person anyone could ever call during a worrisome situation. He was like totally like surprised that like anyone could like be bestest friends with like that terrifying like Russia guy and not him. This only sparked about a thousand more problems for everyone. Now Poland was like totally furious that his Lithy had found a righteous new country and hadn't told him about her like immediately. Meanwhile, as Lithuania was being feverishly bitched out for trying to take the new country himself, Wonderland was focusing all her energy on thinking the driest thoughts she could.

"Er... Ergonomic sheet cleaning lectures! Ah... Not dry enough... Er, um... Day long seminars on the ethics of paint drying! Damn! No... Uh... Oh! Oh! I got it! Week long camps held in deserts that discuss only geometric theorems and principles!" Wonderland roared. By this time, the quite lovely bathroom at Russia's house was no better than a meeting held by the Allied Forces. With Wonderland screeching her most boring thoughts, Latvia crying so hard that his tiny body was beginning to shrivel up from dehydration, Lithuania trying to convince his friend that there was no possible way he could have told anyone about Wonderland any sooner, and Estonia limping out of a bush a few feet below. And, let's not forget, that somewhere far, far away a young man with the silkiest blonde hair anyone ever did see was trying to convince his friend-slave to bring him the country that had recently arrived. This made for an awful lot of chaos. And a few strange sexual remarks from Poland.

"Lithy, like, come awn! You like totally have to bring her over or I'll invoke some like serious bad mojo like all over you!" Poland whined. Lithuania shuddered. Why had he ever thought calling that idiot was a good idea? Maybe because he thought that idiot could provide some good advice. Maybe because he was a bit more optimistic than his situation permitted him to be. Because now there was absolutely no possible way he could get away with not bringing Wonderland over.

Especially not if Poland was going to invoke bad mojo like all over him. Which pretty much meant that he'd pretty much have to find some way to get Wonderland over to Poland's house, hope desperately that they didn't become instant best friends, show her around a bit, and then smuggle her back into Russia's mansion before anyone even noticed she was missing. Lithuania let out a short whimper of protest to what he was about to do. He cupped one hand over the receiving end of the phone and looked at Wonderland nervously.

"Uh... Wonderland, how would you like to go meet a friend of mine?" Lithuania swallowed heavily.

"Really?! I wanna meet all your friends Lithuania! But I dunno if I can because Russia was gonna let me watch that awesome magic box with all the colors and sounds and words I don't understand!" she cheered, rocketing upwards so quickly Lithuania nearly fell off the counter he'd perched himself atop. Latvia, who sensed the sudden shift in position, pulled his tiny body onto wonderland's back so he wouldn't be disturbed as he poured a few more gallons of fluid out his eyes. Lithuania could not say he was thrilled by that news. He had hoped she would deny him entirely and blow him off for Russia, but that didn't seem to be the case.

"I'm sure Mr. Russia will be fine if you come home a bit late." Lithuania lied.

"If you say so, I'll trust anyone with beautiful hair like yours!" Wonderland grinned cheerily, clapping her hands together again.

"Then just follow me." Lithuania said, trying to hide the tears forming in his eyes as he imagined just what punishment he might receive. He went back to the phone he was holding to give Poland the news. Not like it was actual news, however, Poland new he got just about everything he wanted from his little Lithy.

"We're on our way..."

"Righteous! Peace in the Middle East, Lithy!" Poland slammed the phone back on the receiver and went back to painting his nails a lovely neon pink. Lithuania sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. It was going to take him some time to come to terms with this level of personal sabotage. After a good few second of thinking about just where his life was going, he locked the bathroom door, threw himself out the shattered window, and landed with a crunch on the snowy ground. Wonderland followed eagerly with a loud proclamation of geronimo and a young child strapped to her back. However, instead of landing harshly in a pile of ice and snow, she touched down on something fleshy, bony, and extremely loud.

"Oh, hey Estonia! Lithuania and I are going to someone's house, you should come!" Wonderland sniggered, jumping off her incapacitated acquaintance and running after Lithuania with a mortified Latvia still latched to her back. This would certainly be a day to be spoken of.