Smile - Lily Allen

(okay so this one is very loosely based on the song - like mishear a few lines and leave most of it out. I wrote this from Castle's perspective, which is quite strange for me, so I apologise. I also apologise for the use of present tense. I liked it in the beginning and then I had to keep it going.)

They sit next to each other in the booth of the Old Haunt, picking at the basket of chips in front of them. He gestures for the bartender to bring them them both another drink; he's lost count of what number round it is. She giggles at something he says and he knows that she's as buzzed as he feels.

Silence falls between them, and he decides to ask her a question he's been meaning to ask for months. "Why now Kate?"

A look of confusion passes over her face. "What are you talking about Castle?"

He sighs, not sure he even wants to know anymore, but he knows that she heard him. "Uh, why did you wait five years? I mean, obviously I know why you waited after we got to know each other, after we became friends, but why not before that?" He pauses, taking a deep breath. "Why did you say no when I asked you out for dinner in that first case?"

She laughs and he feels his stomach drop. Great, he thinks to himself. Laughing was never a good sign. "Are you serious Castle?"

He looks down and nurses his scotch. "Don't worry about it Beckett."

He catches a glimpse of her through the corner of his eyes and sees that his words had stung. He doesn't mind. Well, he does; he hates hurting her. "Rick," she says softly, and he knows that she means it.

"Yeah?"

"What we have right now, it's great. But back then? It would have been a one night stand, at best a short-lived relationship"

"You don't know that!"

"Ah, yeah, I kinda do. I was wanting more than some fling"

"You don't know it would have been a fling. I wasn't as shallow as everyone seemed to think."

"You were. But me? I was so lost back then, you know that."

He looks deep into her eyes and lets a small smile fall over his face. "Not so much now."

"No. I found the light with a little help from my friends." She smiles at him and he understands.

"You make me smile" he says to her before leaning in for a kiss.