I long to go home Chap. 5
A few hours later the phone rang again Edward groaned "What now?" he walked down the hall and tripped over a sleeping Hayate in the middle of it.
"HELLO!" answering irritated.
"Uh brother what's wrong?" Al asked calmly.
"Oh hey Al..nothing." He said happy to hear his brothers voice.
"Ed has Winry got there yet? Crystal want's to talk to her" Al sounded concerned "She said she would call when she got there and she left three days ago."
Edward looked around "No Al she's not here. Why was she coming?"
"To take care of you idiot I'm a little concerned cause we haven't heard from her." Edward could hear the concern in Al's voice.
"Ok I'll get dressed and go to the train station maybe the train was delayed. Tell Crystal not to worry I'll find her and tell my Jade I love her." He hung the phone up, got dressed and started for the station.
When he got there the man behind the counter informed him all the trains were on time. Then he noticed Edwards arm " Hey your arm matches the one we found in the brown case." He picked the case up and sat it on the counter" We found this sitting on the seat two days ago."
When he opened it Edward aw all Winry's tools and his arm she replaced " That's Winery's but you say you found it two days ago?"
"Yeah" the man said " Do you know who's it is?" he shut the case and set it down.
"Yes it's my Fiancée's." he turned and walked to the first phone and called Mustang 'Maybe she went to Central' he thought.
Mustang explained to Edward about all the blonde woman disappearing and something was always left behind. He told him he hadn't found Hawkeye yet either.
"I'll be right there." Edward hung the phone up and walked towards Central. Now he was really worried Winry two days ago and now Hawkeye 'What the hells going on here?' he thought 'What is this person doing to them?' that was a question he didn't want to ask.
"Riza" a low voice whispered.
Hawkeye's eyes tried to adjust to the dim light and focus she tried to sit up but her head hurt like hell.
"Riza is that you?" the voice whispered again.
Hawkeye strained her eyes against the darkness and a familiar face came into view "Winry is that you?"
"Yeah it's me?" Winry answered.
Hawkeye got up and noticed the cell she was in " Where are we?"
"I don't know some weird looking zorro guy brought use here." Winry got up and walked closer.
"Zorro?" Hawkeye asked confused.
"Yeah" Winry said "Black mask, floppy hat with a huge feather and a cape."
"Oh" Hawkeye gave her a strange look "Don Juan."
"That's what I said Zorro or Don Juan they all dress the same."Winry walked up to the bars "You were out a long time he shot you with a tranquilizer."
"Really was that what that was?" Hawkeye said sarcastically " I thought maybe I bumped my head while trying to rape Edward or Roy rammed it into the headboard to many times while he was romping on me last night."
Winry's head shot up "What did you say about Edward?"
"Oh yeah I have to tell you something I'm not proud of" she looked Winry straight in the eyes "I got really drunk last night and tried to have sex with Edward."
"WHAT!" Winry screamed "How could you do that?" she thought for a minute and thrust her fists to her side "DID HE GO FOR IT?"
"NO!.. no he was a perfect gentleman he called Roy and he came and took care of me." Hawkeye thought about what she said ' Wow that sounded tacky.'
A masked man sashayed in "Yeah you should have seen that commotion she was like a dog on a bone and the lightheaded guy was getting a bone of his own before the dark haired one showed up.
Hawkeye turned and glared at him "If you don't shut up when I get out of here I'll stuff my rifle up your ass and shoot your ball sack off."
Winry was distraught "I can't believe this your like ten years older than Ed."
"WHAT!" Hawkeye calmed herself " I know I feel bad enough I just wanted a child and I was tired of waiting for Roy and well drunk…Edward looked good."
Winery had steam coming out of her ears "What! You have to be drunk to think Edward is hot? Are you blind women?"
The mask man chimed in "Hell she probably would have done both of them as good a she felt." He took a puff off his cigarette.
Riza watched the way he smoked and held the cigarette in his mouth "Havoc is that you?"
The man danced around "UH, Uh" Then his voice got deeper "NO, NO I'm part of the Armstrong family I'm a lost distant cousin."
Winry looked up "Armstrong Huh? Then where are your sparkles?"
The masked man reached in his crotch pouch and grabbed glitter and threw it in the air "Why right here."
"You don't have the muscles to be an Armstrong your too puny." Riza stared at him.
"Uh wait a minute." the guy left and came back a few minutes later wearing a blow up Halloween muscle costume and he flexed "I have captured you in a way that has been past down in the Arm-" he was cut off by his cigarette falling I into his costume and smoke started coming out "AHHHH."
Winry just looked at him in disbelief and shook her head "Oh boy really?" then she turned back to Hawkeye and they continued their conversation "I understand you wanting a child and Mustang has made you wait for years."
"Yeah but Edwards swift thinking and bold move had him in bed with me in five minutes." Riza said confidently.
Just then both women turned to notice the fireball sprinting from the room.
Hawkeye turned around "I am really sorry Winry." she started examining the cell bars as Winry looked on. She lifted her foot and kicked the bars "I WANT OUT OF HERE!" The bar fell away from the others leaving a small opening.
Winry looked at Hawkeye "Oh so you think you'll fit through there?"
"What do you mean I must have lost five to ten pounds last night with Roy." then she smiled a devious smile "Ed was just the warm up."
Winry got so pissed "WHAT!" she ran and pushed the bars causing the whole front of the cell to hit the floor. Riza knew she was pissed but hey it got her out. She ran in front of Riza's cell holding a bar "Come on I bet I can take you."
Hawkeye slid through the bars and pulled her hand back and balled her fist up and threw a punch hitting the masked guy behind Winry and knocking him to the floor.
Winry opened her eyes she had shut seeing the punch coming "Ahhhh" she jumped and hit the guy with the bar she had.
"I think he's out already but good job." Hawkeye told her walking over to unmask the culprit. Then she heard the swing of the bar that came from behind her and ducked.
"This is for Ed." Winry swung wide though.
Hawkeye pushed her to the ground and sat on her chest "You know I remember this same position with Edward."
"AHHHH!" Winry struggled under her "Your never going to let me forget this are you?"
Neither women noticed the masked guy crawl off tripping on his cape out a secret passage.
Hawkeye leaned in close to Winry's face "I had a lapse of judgment Winry. Talking to Edward those few days and listening to him talk about you and the kids made me realize what I was missing in my life. Edward has grown into a fine man far from the brat he was as a teenager. He loves you very much and I don't think any women will change that. You are very lucky to have a man that loves you like that. So don't let my stupidity change the way you feel about him. Because he never touched me and it would kill him if you did."
Winry starred at Hawkeye " He is awesome isn't he?"
"Well he's no Roy Mustang." Hawkeye stood up " But for you yeah he's awesome." she looked back "Where'd he go?"
"SHIT! He got away" Winry said standing up.
"Lets figure out how to get out of here and let those other girls go." Hawkeye was searching around.
Meanwhile back at Mustang's office Edward had arrived and Mustang was beside himself with worry.
"Full metal I can't believe this I just found her and now she's gone. I'm going to have no self control over what I'll do to this guy when we find him."
Edward laughed a little "You've had fifteen years of self control as far as I see general."
Mustang starred at him "What do you mean?"
Edward stood "Well General If I would have had a woman like Hawkeye around the first year she would have been deflowered, defeated and in debed."
Mustang's lower jaw hit the ground when a hand slapped Edward across the face "I hope you'll forgive me for that Edward but you shouldn't talk about other women like that when your engaged to Winry."
Edward grabbed his cheek "Well glad to see you haven't lost your touch Lieutenant Ross." rubbing his hand up and down his cheek "I was just giving the General some pointers on what he should have done years ago." Then he lowered his face "As for me I haven't even been able to kiss Winry let alone hold her since I've been back and know some freak has her."
"Yeah I know" Maria said putting her hand on Edwards shoulder "Were going to find her and the Major General."
"Did you just say Major General?" Edward gawked at Maria.
Maria smiled "Yeah she was promoted."
Edward shook his head "Wow I have been gone a long time."
Mustang then got an idea he gave Edward a shit eaten grin and looked Maria up and down as he walked around her putting his hand on his chin "Lieutenant Colonel Ross how would you look as a blonde."
"Lieutenant Colonel" Edwards head shot around "I have been gone to long."
"I don't know Sir I never thought about it." she didn't know where he was going with that till Edward realized it.
"Hey a blonde wig and a short skirt and you'll be bait for that bastard." Edward smiled.
"I don't know if that's a good idea Sir." Maria tried to picture herself as a blonde in high heels.
"Well it's either you or Fullmetal and I don't think that would work out well for him." Mustang pictured Edward in a short skirt "Ugh" shaking his head to get the vision out.
Just then the door burst open and Armstrong came through it wearing a long blonde wig and fishnet stockings with his muscular body shoved in a tight dress "I WILL BE THE BAIT FOR THIS DEVIOUS MAN!"
Edward jumped back "SHIT MAJOR WE WANT HIM TO TAKE THE BAIT NOT RUN!"
Armstrong gave a pouty face "What I'm not attractive?"
" Well Major I like your enthusiasm but I think a real woman might fit this better." Mustang said trying not to laugh hysterically.
Edward walked over "Thanks for wanting to help Major you can help me keep an eye on Maria."
Armstrong turned and swished back and forth as he walked out mumbling "People just don't understand."
Edward whistled and looked at Mustang "Has he been getting enough oxygen to his brain."
Mustang burst out laughing "Not in that dress."
"Would you two stop he really wants to help. He's also very sensitive." Maria said glaring at both of them.
"We know" They said in unionism.
"Well Ross let's get you suited up." Edward gave her a wink as Mustang smiled pulling a mini skirt out of his top desk drawer.
"Here his should get you noticed right away." Handing the skirt to Maria.
Edward disappeared then came back a few minutes later holding a long blonde and some thigh high boots "Here this should push it over the edge." He also threw her a tank top.
She went in the bathroom and came out both Mustang and Edward couldn't believe their eyes as a blonde Maria was…Hot. That's when they figured out they both had a thing for blondes. Well two in particular.
Maria stopped in front of them "So how do I look?"
"Uh…Uh….Uh….Wow" was all Edward could get out.
Mustang jumped forward "I LOVE ANY WOMAN IN A MINI SKIRT ESPECIALLY RIZA." He composed himself "You look great Ross now lets get this asshole."
Picture all of them turning both men on each side of her walking in slow motion as an Amestrian wind blows through there hair with Jimi Hendrix's 'Foxy Lady' playing. Guys were falling over everything as they past. Maria now knew what they meant by blondes have more fun. But she thought it was just nonsense all women could have fun if they wanted to no matter what their hair color.