I SIMPLY JUST WANT TO RUN
After excepting the fate of her family and after visiting some of her family that she did still have, Tony and Ziva were just walking hand in hand now. Tony thought Ziva deserved a little time to breath and he was certain that she would insist on him going with her because she didn't know what anything was anymore. Ziva naturally wanted to know how her family died. Tony had some knowledge of what happened to her sister and mother and it would be devistating to hear any details of them but to have to explain to Ziva that her brother was dead because of her, was almost too much for him. "How did I lose them, Tony?" Finally asking the questions he knew she would.
"Well, your mother was really sick, for a really long time, Ziva but you had very little to do with her as you were growing up. Being apart of Massad was something that your mother never wished on you and she didn't want to see her daughter in that kind of life style. It hurt her to see your father raising you this way." Talking so gently to her so that she would hear every word that he was saying. "She didn't want to be my mother anymore?" Very hurt by what she was hearing but Tony didn't believe that, that was the case. "It's not that she didn't want to be a part of your life anymore, Ziva. She just didn't want to see you in any pain that your father would cause you." "And my sister." Tony was already soo tired from breaking all this news to her. He could only imagine how she was feeling.
"She too, was Massad. She was younger than you but there were parts of her that you admired so much about her and she about you. You loved her very, very, much Ziva and she died knowing that. She died in your arms actually." Some tears ran down her face when she heard this. "Do you think she was in any pain?" Looking for comfort from Tony and he could only answer the question in his own way because he honestly didn't know. He wasn't there. "If she was, Ziva, atleast she died in the arms of a big sister that loved her more than her own life's value." "How about Ari? How did I lose him?" Tony just stopped walking when he heard that question and so did Ziva.
"Tony?" Looking in Tony's eyes now as Tony just started to ramble about the situation with her brother. "You had no choice, Ziva. Gibbs would have died if you didn't pull that trigger." He just swollowed so big as Ziva's eyes on the biggest that had ever seem them. "I killed him? I killed my brother, Tony? Why? Why would I do such a thing?! You told me that I only killed the bad people, Tony! Trying desperately to understand her actions. "Your brother was more complicated than the two of you. He was hurting innocent people. Ziva, he killed my own partner. You have to understand that you had no choice." Ziva ran her frustrated hands through her hair as she walked away from Tony a little bit.
"Ziva, Gibbs is alive today because of you. You have to listen to me." Walking quickly to catch up with her. "The reason I told you this now is because I don't want your father making you feel any more guilty than you already do. I will not let him do that to you." Holding her by the shoulders now as some more tears ran down her face. "I just want to run, Tony." Breaking down now as Tony let her. "I simply just want to run to a place or a person that can make me feel better about all this but I can't. I can't because I don't know what anything is. I don't know who anyone is." Starting to sit on the road as Tony did the same. "You know me, Sweetcheeks and I told you that I'm not going anywhere." Starting to wrap his strong arms around her, once again. "I promise you, Ziva. Whatever your feeling, I'm feeling this with you. You can run to me, ok?" Giving her a strong kiss on her head as he just rested his mouth on it.
"I can be the place and the person that can make you feel better about this." Ziva just looked up at Tony now and saw tears coming from his eyes, aswell and that's when it hit her, she wasn't alone in this. He was there for her, like he promised and he wasn't going anywhere. She just reached up and ran her fingers across his beautiful eyes when he said something that she desperately needed to hear. "I love you, Ziva." Ziva just looked at Tony in shock when in eyes were filled with tears of joy and relief now. She still didn't know exacly who Tony was to her but there was a genuine purpose for being in her life and she could feel that all over. "I know that I love you too, Tony." Hugging him soo tight as he did the same to her. "I can feel how much I love you." Continuing to hold each other on the ground now.