Vindicated Chapter 6: All The Things She Said, a fairy tail fanfic

Thanks so much for the faves and reviews guys, it really means a lot to me ^^

xXxDarkShadowWolfxXx - Thank you! Music is a very important element for this story (or so I like to think)

NOTE: I just got a new laptop, and the internet browser is acting a little bit funny :/ it won't let me update for some reason...

But, no fear! I will find alternate ways of updating my stores via school computers, etc.

Where there's a will, there's a way! :D

6. All The Things She Said (t.A.T.u)

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost

If I'm asking for help it's only because

Being with you has opened my eyes

Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself, wondering how

I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out

Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me

Nobody else so we can be free

All the things she said

Running through my head

(Running through my head)

All the things she said

Running through my head

All the things she said

(All the things she said)

This is not enough

All the things she said

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed

They say it's my fault but I want her so much

Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain

Come in over my face, wash away all the shame

When they stop and stare - don't worry me

'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me

I can try to pretend, I can try to forget

But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

Mother looking at me

Tell me what do you see?

Yes, I've lost my mind

Daddy looking at me

Will I ever be free?

Have I crossed the line?

"You know, you really shouldn't be doing that," a young girl, maybe no more than seven or eight, stood underneath a tree I was perched in, looking up at me. Her expression was scolding, and her stubby little arms were folded over her tiny waist.

I looked down at my younger sister and pulled a tongue at her, hitching my skirts up and wiggling further up the tree trunk. "I may not be allowed to, but doesn't mean I won't."

I just couldn't stay in that gloomy house any longer. I needed to be outside, in the fresh air and sunshine. This tree was my favourite place just to be alone with my thoughts – even though the maids (and my annoying little sister) insisted it wasn't 'proper' for young ladies like me to be climbing trees when they should be sewing, or something stupid like that.

"I'm gonna tell Miss Devonshire!" Missy (or Fizz, as I liked to call her) whined, shading her eyes as she watched me climb higher and higher into the tall oak tree in our backyard.

"Go ahead and tell her!" I shouted back down at her, settling on one of the highest braches. "Like she'll even be able to get me down."

My kid sister pulled a face at me and ran off, back towards our house. I watched her go, my face impassive. She dashed inside through the kitchen door, slamming it shut in her wake. Our house wasn't large – not even anything close. It was a small single-story building with two bedrooms – one for Mom and the other for me and Fizz. There was a kitchen, one bathroom and a sitting room. The garden was tiny, too. The oak tree I loved climbing so much threw almost the entire property into shadow. But it was all we could afford. Especially since Mom was sick now.

Ever since Dad died in the war, before Fizz was even born, we'd been tight with money. I don't remember much of him, because I was really young when he died, but Mom loved telling us stories about him and what a great war-hero he was.

She always used to get this faraway look in her eyes when she talked about him, like she could almost imagine he was still here with us. It made me sad when I saw the look in her eyes. Sad because she could never see him again, and sad because Fizz and I never got to know him. I sometimes wondered what our lives would have been like if he hadn't died.

I could hear Fizz's shrill voice coming from the sitting room window below me. I turned and started climbing higher up the tree. She and I had never been on good terms. I saw her as an annoying little shadow that would never leave me alone and was only nice to me when she wanted something. It got even worse after Mom got sick. With no one to scold us and tell us to play nice, our relationship had just deteriorated.

Even though I was only eleven, I knew Fizz and I wouldn't be on speaking terms for much longer.

I soon reached the top of the tree and sat heavily on a sturdy branch, swinging my short legs to and fro beneath me. From my perch, I could see over the whole town. It was a small town, granted, but it was my home nonetheless. If I squinted hard enough, I could just make out the flagpoles jutting out from the stocky buildings in the military compound near the outskirts of town.

It was the same compound Dad had been stationed at before he died. I remember going with Mom and Fizz every year to visit his memorial on the compound grounds. I really hated it there – everything was so serious and strict. You couldn't even take your shoes off in the cemetery, even if they were really hurting you.

I frowned. I wasn't sure if Mom would be able to take us to visit the memorial any more. Her health was rapidly declining, and had been ever since she first got sick a couple of months ago. Even though I didn't like the military compound, I liked talking to Dad's tombstone. It made me feel like he was still here somehow, and would listen to my problems even though he couldn't answer me.

Suddenly, I heard the kitchen door banging open. My stomach sank when Fizz's annoyingly high-pitched voice floated up to me from underneath the oak tree.

"I told her to get down, but she wouldn't listen to me!" the little brat whined.

Rolling my eyes, I peered down from the branch I sat on. Fizz stood far below me, casting me a smug look. It took all my willpower not to throw one of my shoes down at her. Next to her was our nanny, Ms. Devonshire. She was quite a staunch woman, with broad shoulders and a build like a football player. Her black hair was pulled back severely into a tight bun, and her disapproving ice-blue gaze cut into me from some twenty feet down.

"Shock! What has your mother told you about climbing this tree?" she scolded, meaty hands on her hips and a disapproving frown on her thin lips. "It's not proper for a young lady to be climbing trees all day!"

I scowled and stood on the branch, resting a hand on the trunk of the tree for balance. I was so sick of people telling me what to do, to be a 'proper' lady and all that rubbish.

"Well maybe I don't want to be a 'lady'," I shouted back down at her. Ms. Devonshire looked shocked – I had never spoken back to her before. But at this stage, I was just fed up. With Mom being sick, and everyone wanting me to be something I wasn't…it was enough. I couldn't take it anymore.

"I like climbing trees! I don't want to spend all my time stuck in some stuffy room sewing the whole day!" I was blinking back tears as my shouting increased in volume. "I don't want to be married off to some old geezer when I grow up! I don't want to walk with books on my head, or learn how to cook or make tea! I don't want any of it!"

I was getting so angry that I was shaking. I wasn't angry with Ms. Devonshire, not by a long shot. I was angry with the world. With life. With everything for making life so hard, for making me have to grow up sooner than I was supposed to. I didn't want to grow up without my mother. I didn't want to be head of a broken household. I wanted everything to go back to normal, when Mom wasn't sick and Fizz was still tolerable. I wanted to be a normal kid again.

"I can't take this anymore!" I screamed, tears flowing freely from my eyes. I clenched them shut and shook my head vigorously. "Life sucks!"

All my screaming startled a bird that had been nesting in the tree, and it flew out of the foliage in a panic, flapping its wings and cawing loudly. I jumped with fright, letting out a small scream when my one foot slipped off the branch. Before I could regain my balance, I lost hold of the tree trunk and toppled off the branch. My eyes snapped open and I screamed again, hurtling through empty air.

I heard Fizz shouting something, but I couldn't be sure of what she was actually saying past the wind screaming in my ears. I smacked a few smaller branches on my way down, my body bruising instantly. The ground came rushing up to meet me, and then –

Shock screamed, thrashing wildly in her sleep. The force of her fit sent her crashing off her bed and onto the hard wooden floor, instantly rousing her from the nightmare. She snapped into a sitting position, wild-eyed and breathing heavily. It took a while for her to calm down and recognize her surroundings before she could slow her erratic heartbeat.

Taking a deep breath and running a hand down her flushed face, Shock sighed deeply. Every night, a different nightmare. A different reminder of her less-than-pleasant childhood. And if she wasn't having bad dreams about her mother or Fizz, it was about that dreaded conscription camp. Shock sighed again, rubbing her aching back and bruised hip. She just couldn't win.

Slowly clambering to her feet, Shock collapsed back onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep. Because of the nightmares, she was turning into an insomniac. But, just as she was about to close her eyes again, her alarm clock starting honking noisily from her bedside table.

Growling, Shock smacked her clenched fist down on the snooze button, silencing the infernal device. Groaning, she pushed herself to her feet, swaying slightly. She had a feeling the day was going to be a terrible one.

…

Shock yawned for what must have been the six-hundredth time since arriving at the guild house that morning. She slapped a hand over her mouth a screwed her eyes shut, willing the fatigue to just disappear.

"Doesn't look like you got much sleep at all," Levy commented, peering at her friend over the top of the book she was currently reading. Shock glanced at the cover – it was something about ancient runes.

The Charm mage just sighed nasally and dropped her head onto the table they were seated at. She didn't even feel it when her forehead smacked into the polished wood. "Bloody nightmares just won't go away."

Levy snapped her book closed and laid it on the table. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and looking down at Shock's head. "What are they about? They could just be from that camp…" she trailed off, not wanting to unearth any bad memories Shock may be suppressing.

But the other girl just shook her head and pressed her cheek firmly against the cool wood to calm her raging headache. Her feeling of foreboding with just getting stronger and stronger.

"It wasn't about that this time," she mumbled.

"Well, what was it?" Levy prompted, her curiosity piqued.

"Something about my sister… before my mother died," Shock stifled another large yawn, wishing fervently that she could go back to her apartment and sleep for a week.

"You know… I read somewhere that nightmares can be associated with past regrets and traumatic family experiences," the blue-haired girl said thoughtfully.

Shock cracked an eye open and looked up at her friend with a skeptical expression. "I know that look, Levy. What are you planning?"

A mischievous smirk appeared in Levy's face. "How long's it been since you last saw your sister? It must be years!"

Groaning, Shock slapped a hand over her face. "Levy, I'm not going looking for Fizz. Even if I did manage to find her after all these years, I don't think she'd even want anything to do with me."

"What makes you say that?" Levy picked her book up again, flipping the pages distractedly. Shock could literally see a plan forming in her mind.

"Let's just saw we didn't leave on the best of terms," she sighed, closing her eyes and wishing for a dream-less sleep more than ever.

Before Levy could think of a smart reply, there was a loud thud as someone else sat themselves down at the table. Shock's rest was interrupted by someone jabbing their finger repeatedly into her head. Growling, she lifted her head from the table, glaring daggers at the fool who had dared disturb her none-too-common shut-eye.

"Do you have to do that? I get little enough sleep as it is," Shock frowned at Gajeel as he sat opposite her, wearing a disinterested expression on his face.

"Can't let you sleep when we have a job to do," he replied, folding his arms over his broad chest.

"Job? What job?" Shock quirked an eyebrow, propping her chin up on her palm as she rested her elbow on the table. In the four months she had been working with Gajeel, she had come to expect him bringing in odd jobs at the most unexpected times.

"Picked it up this morning off the notice board," he slid a piece of scrunched-up paper towards her. "We need the money, and it seems like a pretty simple job."

Shock rotated the page so she could read it clearly. As she scanned it intently, Gajeel continued.

"It's a little far away, but nothing impossible. All we have to do it get rid of a few stray mages causing trouble in the region, and then we're home free."

But Shock wasn't listening. Her eyes were glued to the small picture of the town they were to be travelling to. The name of the town was printed in small black letters at the top of the page.

Lilia Valley.

When she read it, her stomach felt as though it had dropped down into her combat boots. Her blood seemed to turn to ice in her veins.

Levy noticed her reaction straight away. With a worried frown, she placed a hand over Shock's forearm. The Charm mage didn't even seem to notice.

"Shock? What is it?" she asked in a hushed tone, leaning forward.

Shock could only gape silently and shake her head. After all this time…she didn't think she was ready for this. After all this time, could she face the past she had left behind? The memories she had been forced to abandon?

It took Gajeel a moment to realize that his partner wasn't paying attention to him. Scowling, he clicked his fingers in front of her face to bring her out of whatever trance she had mysteriously slipped into. If there was one thing that irked him, it was when people ignored him.

Her eyes snapped from the page clenched in her hands to his face. He gave her an annoyed look. "Problem?"

By now, Levy had also had a chance to glance at the job sheet. When Shock remained silent and her eyes moved back down to the photograph, the blue-haired girl answered in her stead.

"That's her old hometown."

…

Shock had stayed silent for most of the train ride from Magnolia to Lilia Valley. After working with the Charm mage for the past four months, Gajeel liked to think that he knew her fairly well. She generally didn't speak much, but when she was excited about something – like she was about most jobs – he just couldn't shut her up. But her silence now was eerie… so unlike her that it was chilling.

He watched her from the opposite seat in the rain car they rode in. She was stiff as a board, face blank and expressionless. Her eyes hadn't moved from the window for the past two hours they had been travelling. Gajeel was pretty sure she didn't even register the scenery flashing past outside.

When he saw her like this, so desolate and unreachable, he realized there was a whole other facet to Shock that he had yet to see or figure out. He would never admit it, but it unnerved him. He sort of liked her company on missions – her normally fiery personality made their friendly verbal jousting so much more interesting. And travelling with Shock made him feel like he wasn't so… isolated anymore.

Gajeel looked down at the job sheet in his hands for what must have been the sixtieth time that day. He just couldn't help but wonder what sort of history Shock had with Lilia that would make her react the way she had.

…

"Are you sure you're okay with going?" Levy's tone was worried as she followed Shock out of the guild house.

The younger mage still had the job sheet clutched firmly in her hands. Her expression was a mixture between determined and apprehensive. "I'll be fine, Levy. I need to do this."

Gajeel trailed behind the two of them, hands shoved in his pockets. He thought Shock's reaction to the whole situation was rather strange… what was so special about that town? The job wasn't anything special, so it couldn't have anything to do with that. Not for the first time, he realized that he didn't know much about his partner's past at all.

Levy pulled Shock to a halt in the middle of the cobbled street. A few wagon drivers shouted at them to move, but she ignored them. "Shock, just because I was talking about Fizz earlier, doesn't mean you have to go to Lilia now. If you're not ready, I think it would be best if-"

"I'll be fine," Shock repeated forcefully, looking her friend straight in the eyes. "I think it's about time I go back. If not for Fizz… then for myself."

...

Shock could feel another wave of cold anxiety flood through her system, but she quelled it. As much as she was frightened of going back to her home town – frightened of all the memories it would bring back – she couldn't afford to back down now. There was something she needed to do there… and it was long overdue.

For the first time during the two-hour journey, Shock let herself relax and recline against the plush red train seat. She ran a hand over her face and sighed. She wasn't all that sure if she was ready to go back yet, but she felt she needed to. Maybe then the nightmares would stop, and she could make peace with herself.

But somehow, she doubted it.

Out of the corner of her eye, Shock noticed Gajeel staring at her. Turning towards him, she cocked an eyebrow at him thoughtful expression. "What?"

He regarded her silently for a few moments before answering. "I was just wondering why you were so determined to come on this job, even though it seemed like you wanted nothing to do with it," his eyes glanced down to the job sheet before returning to his partner's face. "There's something you're not telling me."

Shock looked at him, assessing whether his tone was genuine or not. It seemed odd for Gajeel to seem so interested all of a sudden. After deeming his question legitimate, Shock snorted and curled up in the corner between the seat and the wall next to the window. She rested her head against the cool glass and closed her eyes for a moment.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Gajeel," she responded after a short pause. "So much…" she added softly, opening her eyes again and staring at the scenery flashing past outside. Even after so long, she recognized the familiar scenery indicating that they were nearing Lilia Valley.

This time, it was Gajeel's turn to sigh. He folded the job sheet and tossed it onto the seat next to him, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. He clasped his hands under his chin and gave Shock another thoughtful look.

"At least give me something to work with."

Shock's gaze flicked from the window to her partner's face. She studied his expression – if she was expecting to see any mockery or false intentions, there was none. Just open honesty. Shock wasn't used to that coming from Gajeel. He was the kind of person who was just as quick to beat you up than help you.

She pondered his change for a moment or two – maybe she was finally making an impact on him? Getting him to accept the fact that he didn't have to isolate himself all the time?

Finally, she answered.

"I didn't exactly leave Lilia on good terms. That's why I'm a little hesitant to go back after so long." Her tone was regretful, Gajeel noticed. "I'm afraid of what people will think of me when they see me again."

"People as in…?" Gajeel prompted, raising an eyebrow. He couldn't think of anyone that would think negatively about Shock – she was just too nice to everyone.

"My sister," she whispered, turning her head towards the window again.

Gajeel was slightly taken aback by that. In all the time he had been working with her, Shock had never once mentioned anything about a sister. Come to think of it, she hadn't mentioned anything about her past at all.

"You have a sister?" he asked curiously, no hint of his usual gruffness in his tone.

Shock gave a sarcastic laugh, not moving her eyes from the window. "Yeah, not sure if I still do, though."

Before Gajeel could ask her what she meant, Shock sat bolt upright, her expression flickering from melancholy to horrified in a heartbeat. As he was about to ask what the problem was, the sounds of shouting came from the corridor outside their car. Gajeel could hear the train screeching to a halt on the tracks.

Before the train had completely stopped, Shock was out of her seat and had dashed into the corridor. Ignoring Gajeel's shouts of protest, she pushed and shoved her way through the mass of people gathered outside. She had to get off this train. She had to get to Lilia.

"Shock! Wait! What the hell is up with this bloody train?" Gajeel man-handled people out of his way as he ran after his wayward partner. Her peculiar mood was starting to annoy him.

But Shock just ignored him and slammed into the still-closed train door, forcing it open. desperation giving her strength, she managed to pry the doors open before the conductor could stop her and jumped out of the still-moving train. Growling angrily, Gajeel gritted his teeth and threw himself out after her.

They both landed heavily on the dirt, rolling with the force of the impact. Shaking off the dizziness that spun his vision in circles, Gajeel angrily grabbed hold of Shock's shirt to keep her from bolting off again.

"What the hell were you thinking? Are you trying to kill yourself?" he snapped as she struggled to get free.

He tugged her to her feet, dusting his pants off with his free hand. "Why would you fucking jump out of a moving train?"

"Let go of me!" Gajeel was surprised at Shock's tone of voice. It was nothing like her usual firm dismissals or joking insults. This was a feral growl, saturated with underlying fury. It startled him that her mood had shifted to rapidly.

Keeping his indifferent façade firmly in place, Gajeel tightened his grip on his partner, intent on getting some answers. He looked at her face – her eyes weren't even focused in him. He followed her line of sight to the town behind her.

It was on fire.

Taking advantage of Gajeel's distraction, Shock ripped her shirt from his grip and bolted towards her home town. Her burning home town. Images of Fizz and everyone else she had grown up with in the small down flashed before her eyes. She had to make sure they were okay. She had to do something to save the town. She had to make it to the military compound and check those precious things were still okay.

Ignoring Gajeel calling out for her, Shock raced down the hill towards the town, her boots kicking up massive clouds of dust in her wake. As she ran, she reached down and pulled the Fire charm from her belt and pressed it to her quivering lips. In mid-flight, the energy of the Fire charm transferred into her body.

Her hair seemed to catch alight, blazing with flames but not actually burning. Her eyes morphed from their usual shade of grey-blue to a deep, bloody red. Clay armor wrapped itself around her tense frame as she sprinted down the hill. A halo of reddish-orange flame cloaked her body, seeming only to strengthen as she breached the wall of fire surrounding the village.

As she dashed though the flaming streets, she let her training subconsciously keep her wayward emotions in check. With a calm, assessing glance, she surmised that the villagers must have evacuated the town – there were no charred corpses on the streets, not screams for help or people running to escape the biting flames.

The sense of worry she had been feeling about her sister's well-being slowly dissipated, but was almost immediately replaced by a crushing panic about the things she was so desperately searching for. Even though she hadn't been in the town in years, Shock knew she was heading in the right direction. She needed to find them… save them from the flames before it was too late. They were the only things that really mattered to her.

Gajeel dashed through the burning village after Shock. She had leapt into the flames without so much as a backward glance. He was really starting to doubt that girl's sanity. He had been calling for her, but the smoke from the burning wooden buildings had rendered him unable to speak.

Sprinting past another fallen lamp post, Gajeel spotted Shock making a sharp turn down an alleyway. Doubling his speed, he raced to catch her before she got herself killed.

The closer and closer she got to her destination, the more and more panicked Shock became. Her façade of calm was beginning to slip. She could hear her sister's voice in her head, berating her for leaving the village without so much as a goodbye.

I didn't have a choice.

Shock skidded and swerved to avoid being crushed by a massive wooden beam that came tumbling down from one of the burning buildings. She could hear Fizz's voice in her head as if she was standing right there.

That's no excuse. We needed you. I needed you.

Shock's eyes started to water. She couldn't tell whether it was from the smoke pouring from the wooden buildings or tears. The heat of the flames was starting to scorch her skin, even with the clay armor in place.

I was taken by force! What was I meant to do?

Her heart was pounding, the smoke making it hard for her to breath. Shock let out a frightened scream as a building collapsed on the alley she had just run out of, showering her in glowing embers.

You should have fought back! You should have hidden! You should have stayed with me.

Now tears were flowing freely down Shock's soot-stained cheeks. She was sobbing as she ran, great big rib-wracking sobs that shook her to the core. She had abandoned her home; abandoned her responsibilities; she had abandoned her sister. She didn't belong in this town – she should never have come back. And yet here she was, watching her former home fall to pieces around her.

She was almost there – she could see the flagpoles in the distance. What truly hammered the message home was the military flag fluttering at the top – it was completely consumed in flames.

Shock soon burst out of the wall of flames and sprinted onto the wide expanse of dirt that separated the military compound from the village. The mess hall and all the tents were on fire. The gardens were burning. At the front of the compound was the military graveyard.

Mother, I've lost my mind.

With one final desperate burst of speed, Shock had just about made it to the flaming compound when she was roughly grabbed from behind. She was jerked backwards into a rock-hard body that smelled strongly of smoke. She kicked and struggled, sobbing uncontrollably. She hadn't even realized that the Flame charm had taken its power back. The various burns she had received from running through town didn't even register.

Daddy, have I crossed the line?

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Gajeel shouted in her ear, holding her tighter so she couldn't break free.

"Let me go! I have to put the fire out!" she screamed, struggling for all she was worth. She raked her short fingernails down Gajeel's arms, but he wouldn't let her go.

"If you go in there, you'll burn to death!" he growled, dragging her away from the burning compound. The heat was beginning to sear them both.

"No! Let me go!" Shock sobbed as she was helplessly dragged away.

"Shock! Listen to me!" Gajeel snapped, shaking her roughly. This was not the person he had been working with for so long; the person he had come to respect. This was a different person completely. "I will not allow you to kill yourself in there!"

Fatigue started to take control of her limbs, and despite her protests, Shock's struggles started to get weaker and weaker. Eventually, Gajeel had managed to drag her far enough away from the compound so they weren't getting fried alive.

Shock's eyes stayed riveted to the military graveyard. She could only watch in silent horror as her parent's graves burned.

You know the drill, guys ;)