A/N: Yup, folks! It's back. (grins)

Awkay… (gawks at the number of reviews) I'm baffled, ya know? Completely. Totally. And flattered, of course. (GLOMPS) You guys, thank yous so much for all that love! I think it's working because I'm beginning to fall in love with this story. (beams) So thank you!

I guess it's go-time, no? (gulps, fidgeting with nervousness) I REALLY hope that you'll enjoy the ride!

'Nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret.'
(Jean de La Fontaine)

In the Shadow of the Valley

/ Spencer was no stranger to pain. But that night in his very own bathroom his whole body trembled under such surges he'd never, ever experienced before. His squeezed his eyes tightly shut and gritted his teeth just to keep himself from screaming out loud. While his fingers squeezed the sink so tightly that his knuckles turned white red tinged water flowed down the drain.

There wasn't a knock. Only a faint voice he barely heard through the door. "I'm sorry. You do believe that, right? I'm sorry. I love you."

Spencer swallowed, forcing down the wave of nausea. His head was spinning madly while he murmured in return. "I know."

"I'm… going to the pharmacy. Is that alright?" The voice continued after a prolonged moment of silence. "I'll bring something you can clean yourself up with."

The steps walked away, paused for a moment, then left completely. The apartment's door sounded unnaturally loud. Louder than the thunder raging outside.

Finally alone Spencer dared to open his eyes, lifted his head with courage he hadn't expected to find. Faced the reflection of his bloodied face. And that moment alone did it.

Finally unleashing what'd been building up inside of him for a very long time he screamed at the top of his lungs, then rammed his fist on the mirror, shattering it. /

Six months. That's how long had already passed. Six months without a single trace of Dr. Spencer Reid. Spencer had vanished from the team like the genius had never even been in their lives.

They demanded explanations, of course. Erin Strauss had been the one who'd given Spencer the permission to leave in the middle of the case so they went to her for answers. She never gave them any, only announced that Spencer had sent her the official resignation documents and was no longer a member of the FBI. When she'd find the right person she'd name who'd take over the genius' place. (Like anyone would ever be able to do that.) The team was confused, angry and in a shock. They kept searching for answers, no matter how many times they were told that there was nothing to find, only to indeed find nothing. They searched and waited. Waited for his return, or even for a phone call or a letter. For some kind of an explanation, perhaps even for a closure. But weeks turned into months and all they received was nothing. Spencer remained gone. And the empty space he'd left behind was aching them all.

Aaron Hotchner's thoughts drifted to Spencer about a million times per day. He'd tried to stop himself at first, knowing full well how unhealthy it was. These days he didn't bother.

He lingered, wondering what could've happened if he'd never let Spencer leave. If he'd been honest with himself. If he'd spoken what'd been right there, on the tip of his tongue. What'd been there for quite some time. It was more than likely that Spencer wouldn't have felt the same. But perhaps, if…

'Maybe.' 'If.' Aaron hated those words from the bottom of his heart.

Aaron sighed, looking at the files and reports before him. In a couple of seconds he came to a conclusion that he wouldn't get anything done. He might as well go home, away from this new, chilling façade of normalcy without Spencer.

Yes. Going home sounded like a very good idea.

Leaving his office Aaron was surprised to discover that he wasn't the last one present. Jennifer Jareau was still there, in the bullpen. It took a moment before he realized that the desk she was hovering above belonged to Spencer.

He made his way to her with a arched eyebrow. "You do realize that you could've gone home hours ago, right? The case is already closed", he pointed out, his voice atypically gentle. "I'm sure that Henry's waiting for you."

JJ shivered at those words. She didn't look towards him but he could still see the slash on pain in hre eyes. "Actually, Henry's… spending time with Will today." She swallowed, like someone trying to hold back vomit. "Will's going to explain to Henry that mommy and daddy won't live together anymore. That daddy's moving to a new apartment."

Aaron felt a wave of sympathy for her. He still remembered far too clearly how it'd felt to come home to a apartment where his wife and son no longer were. "I'm sorry." Then, deciding that it was time to guide the conversation elsewhere, he took a look at what the woman had been doing before he arrived. His stomach knotted painfully and his eyes stung without a warning. She'd been giving water to the flower Penelope Garcia bought their genius only days before… The flower was blooming. When the sight really sunk in he felt a brush of comfort through all the ache. "You've taken a good care of it."

JJ nodded, her eyes not entirely dry. "Not really, but I try. I just… I don't want him to find it dead, when he comes back home." 'When'. Never 'if'.

Aaron tried to will some of that certainty, of that foolish hope, into himself. Hard as he tried he didn't quite succeed. "That's good", he murmured.

Aaron kept staring at the flower and tried very hard to remember. Yes, he could easily recall the exact brown of Spencer's hair. The genius' voice echoed in his ears whenever he gave it the chance. He was sure that he felt the man's scent a hundred times a day. But Spencer's touch… He couldn't recall it, no matter how hard he tried. Those brief, half accidental brushes the usually physically reserved doctor probably hadn't even noticed… Aaron no longer felt them on his skin. It really, truly bothered him. He could even say that it hurt.

Deciding that enough was enough he tore his eyes away from the flower and began to head towards the exit. "I've gotta go home, to Jack. See you tomorrow."

Had he looked back he would've seen the knowing look on JJ's face. Would've noticed just how desperately she wanted to say something that might've halted his heavy steps. But instead all she voiced was "See you tomorrow". In five minutes she left as well, fighting the urge to look back.

All that was left in the huge room was silence. That, and the flower. The flower behind which stood a nameplate no one had even thought of removing.

Spencer's apartment was dark and quiet as heavy steps made their way through the hollow rooms. The lone occupant didn't bother with trying to switch on the lights. Rent had been taken care of but electricity had been cut a while ago. It didn't matter much, really. Why should there have been warmth and light without Spencer?

The steps halted and a sigh echoed loudly. Hard as the shadowy figure listened there was no response, no other presence. If one hadn't known better they would've thought that no one had ever lived in the apartment at all.

After a moment of perfect stillness the arrival finally grabbed a flashlight, darting it through the apartment. Not that the search could've possibly revealed something new when it'd been done a million times already. But hope… Hope is a very powerful thing.

The steps moved forward, echoing in the walls. Finally they paused by the bedroom's doorway. The sight inside sent chills through the observer, no matter how many times it'd been seen.

The bed was perfectly made. Pajamas had been folded neatly on top of the right pillow. On the bedside table lay a book, with a marker somewhere halfway through it. Apparently sleep or something had claimed Spencer before he'd had the chance to make it through. Right next to the book sat an empty glass.

Loud signs of a interrupted life.

And then, all of a sudden, the sharp eyes fell on a lamp that stood stiffly on the other side of the bed. More precisely, to the very bottom of it. With a frown the arrival darted the flashlight and shivered at what was discovered.

He'd missed it the first few times but not now. There was a stain of blood, very small and long ago dried yet no less ominous. Another piece of a puzzle that wasn't making any sense at all.

Another sigh erupted, even louder than the previous one. "Goddamnit, pretty boy… What happened to you?"

Only silence answered Derek Morgan.

Aaron was no stranger to nightmares, not after everything he'd been through. Almost every night his father, Haley and George Foyet came back to haunt him. And for the past months Spencer had also visited him several nights a week – bleeding, tortured, lost, all alone and screaming out to him, begging for help. Aaron woke up from those dreams gasping, panting and shivering, cold sweat all over his body and tears in his eyes, his lips parted for a prayer that never came. He woke up, only to discover that the nightmare was never truly over.

So yes, Aaron was very familiar with the monsters hiding underneath his bed and inside his head. What truly pained him, however, was that he wasn't the only one. Since the death of his mother Jack hadn't been spared from restless, haunted nights, either.

That night it wasn't Aaron's own bad dreams that woke him up. It was Jack's scream, such that made his whole body convulse with agony. He was running before his head could process a single thing.

By the time he made it to Jack's room the boy was awake, still screaming while crying so hard that even breathing should've been impossible. "Daddy…!"

Fighting tears of his own Aaron scooped his son into his arms and held on tight, letting Jack cling to him with all the child's might. "Shh, shh… I'm right here, buddy. I'm right here. It's alright. It was just a bad dream." He truly hoped, from the bottom of his heart, that it was only that.

Jack was shivering and hiccupping but his presence seemed to calm down his son's fears, at least a little bit. "Mommy… She told me to hide, daddy. She… She was crying. And then…"

Aaron nodded, squeezing his eyes tightly shut while he tightened his hold on the horrified child slightly. "I know." Good god, he did. (The sound of a gunshot would never stop echoing in his head.) He stroked Jack's hair, swallowing thickly around the lump sitting firmly in his throat. "I know."

Jack sniffled, already a lot calmer. "Daddy", was whispered with a clearly audible flash of embarrassment. "I… I think I wet the bed."

For a second or two Aaron didn't know what to say. Didn't know, although this had happened several times after Haley's death. In the end he just breathed, calming down the raging wave of guilt and sadness. "It's okay. You get changed, then we'll change your sheets. It's okay."

He was already heading for the sheets when Jack spoke. "Daddy?" The child's still moist, tired eyes carried a flicker of hope. "Could you read for me?"

Aaron felt his eyes fill with warmth. He didn't feel like pointing out that it was already much too late. Since Jack learned how to read these occasions were so few and far in between that each one was luxury. "Sure thing, buddy."

They took care of the preparations in a thoughtful silence. As soon as they were done Jack crawled to the bed with a book. Aaron lay down beside his son, not saying a thing when the child snuggled closer, seeking for warmth and comfort. They only got through eight pages before Jack was already asleep, his cheeks still flushed from crying. Aaron was about to drift off himself when the sound of a doorbell pulled him back to full alertness. He got up with a frown, careful not to disturb Jack, and took a glance towards the clock. Three thirty in the morning. The doorbell chimed again, a bit more frantically than the last time.

Who…?

Aaron opened the door cautiously, unable to come up with anyone who could show up at such hour unannounced. Opened, and froze. Completely. Absolutely. For a couple of beats even his heart came to a stop.

For there, right before him, stood Spencer. Hair a great deal longer and darker than the last time they met, impossibly pale and looking like he hadn't slept or eaten in weeks. Some bruises could be seen against the milky white skin. But it was most definitely Spencer.

Aaron gasped, for at the moment it was the only thing he could do. Then breathed out. "How…?" How can you be there? Are you alright? Where the hell have you been? Why did you leave?

Spencer swallowed, despair filling the man's eyes. "I… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The words sounded slurred, almost like those of a drunken man. The heartbreak behind them would've stung even the stoniest of souls. "I… I tried to keep him away, I swear. I tried. But… He found out. He's been following all of you. And I had to come. I couldn't just…" The genius' lips kept moving but even a word didn't make it through.

Aaron's own lips parted but a tiny whimper that most certainly didn't come from Spencer cut him short. Slowly, slowly, he looked down to discover a tiny bundle in the doctor's extremely protective hold. A baby.

Aaron was most definitely very skilled when it came to hiding his emotions. But at that moment his eyes widened as they rose back to Spencer, demanding an explanation. "Reid… What the hell is going on? Whose child is that?"

Spencer met his eyes, suddenly looking very much like that frightened young man he met for the first time. The genius swallowed loudly. "She's… She's Lucia. My daughter."

TBC

A/N: He's finally back! (grins) But… With a baby? And what's the story behind the guy he's so damn afraid of? The poor thing seems to be in quite a mess.

PLEASE, do leave a note! The elves are watching, ya know? It's never too early to do a good deed to impress Santa. (nod, nod)

Until next time, my lovelies! I really hope that you'll all feel like staying tuned for that one.

Peace out!

Guest: EEP! (runs for cover) Nah, just kidding. I'm really happy to hear that you're so eager to read more. (grins widely) I hope that the next cashes out your expectations.

Humongous thank yous for the review!

Anon 2012: Hmm, the birth won't be seen yet, it indeed seems that way. There may be a flashback later, though. We'll see what my head ends up cooking up.

I really hope that you'll get tons of reviews for you story/stories!

Thank you so much for the review!

Anon: Goodness me! That brief teasy, weasy already got to you so? You can't even imagine how flattered I am to hear that! (BEAMS)

I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you'll enjoy the next one just as much.

Colossal thank yous for the wonderful review!

Mikesh: Reid seems to be in a really bad place right now, no? (winces) Let's hope that this whole nightmare ends well. He'd deserve nothing but joy and happiness!

HUGE thank yous for the review!