Title: Human In All My Mistakes (I'd Throw It All Away To The Shadows of Regrets And You Would Have The Best of Me)
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Jamie Reagan, Danny Reagan, Frank Reagan, Henry Reagan, Tony Renzulli, OMC. Jamie/OMC, Danny/Linda.
Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Warning: Mildly AU, coarse language, homophobic language, mild violence
Spoilers: Blanket spoilers for all seasons
Disclaimer: I do now own Blue Bloods, nor do I own The Goo Goo Dolls' 'Best of Me,' or Sum 41's 'Best of Me,' from which the title comes from.
Word Count: 1081
Author's Note: May possibly become Mpreg in late chapters
Summary: When Danny discovers a secret relationship between Jamie and another man; it slowly begins to tear the Reagan family apart. Relationships are tested when Danny is forced to protect his brother from his very own family and Jamie finds himself afraid of his own family.
*
When Alex opens the door and Jamie smiles at him, Alex launches himself at Jamie. "Are you alright chick?" He asks, running his hands up and down Jamie's sides to check him for injuries. "I've been so worried about you. What happened? Did he hurt you?"
"Danny wouldn't hurt me," Jamie replies, ignoring Alex's sceptical look. "He wouldn't do anything too bad. Danny just has a temper." Alex looks concerned at that and silently reaches out and grasps Jamie's hand.
"Well, if he does do anything…" Alex trails off uncomfortably before sighing. "I just really don't want anything to happen to you." He finally says, caressing Jamie's cheek.
"Nothing will happen Alex," Jamie reassures him. "This is just a bruise and nothing else will happen. How's your face?"
"I'm fine Jamie," Alex replies, angry creeping into his voice. "But you can't brush this off Jamie. What if he loses his temper again and something happens? What if he hurts you?"
"We're brothers Alex," Jamie replies, pulling Alex inside the house and guiding them both to the lounge. "We play rough and we fight. But Danny and I love each other and we've got each other's backs."
"Okay, chick." Alex finally says, reluctance in his voice.
"He wants to meet you. I don't know how well that's going to go, but if you want to meet him…"
Alex grips Jamie's hand tightly. "I do want to meet him," Alex says softly. "I know how much your family means to you," Alex hesitates for a moment, pulling back slightly. "What about the rest of your family?"
Jamie freezes. Now that Alex mentions it, he can't be sure Danny won't tell his father or Erin about Alex. Jamie casts Alex a worried look, before he retrieves his mobile phone from his pocket. Before Danny can even finish his greeting him, Jamie is speaking. "Danny, you won't tell dad will you? Or Erin? Or-"
"Jamie, chill!" Danny cuts him off as Jamie's agitation rises. "If you don't want me to, I won't tell anyone. Calm down Jamie."
"Sorry Danny," Jamie says guiltily, rubbing the back of his head. "I just- I'm sorry. Thanks."
"But Jamie, you can't keep hiding this. Our family will want to know. They won't judge you Jamie."
"You judged me Danny," Jamie shoots back. Jamie sighs, frustrated, before running his hand through his hair again. "Sorry," he murmurs. "Danny, I don't think our family will be as accepting as you think they will be."
"Well I think you're wrong but I won't tell them. I'll see you tomorrow night for Sunday night dinner kiddo."
*
The next night when Jamie arrives for dinner, Danny grips him tight and gives him a one-armed hug, patting him on the back. Jamie gives him a sad smile in return and the two join the rest of the family in the dining room. After saying Grace and beginning dinner, conversation soon turns to Erin's latest case. Erin and their father argue good naturedly for a while, before there's a lull in the conversation.
"Grandpa, what's a fag?" At Sean's innocent question, the entire family freezes with the exception of Sean and Jack. Jamie swallows and shakily raises his head to look at Danny. Danny's gaze meets his, his expression a mix between guilt and self-loathing.
"Sean, don't say that." Nikki whispers desperately to the young boy, aware of how tense the family is.
"Who taught you that word Sean?" Erin asks angrily, and Sean looks at the adults around him.
"Why? What does it mean? What's wrong with it?" Sean asks, confused, looking around for an answer.
"It's a bad word Sean," Danny answers first. "Don't use it, okay?"
"Nothing wrong with it." Henry mutters under his breath, taking a swig of his drink. Both Erin and Danny immediately turn to face Henry, but the kids remain oblivious to his words.
"But mom used it." Sean says innocently.
At Sean's words Jamie looks up at Linda and is surprised to see she's resolutely not looking at him. Danny casts a hateful glance at Linda, before looking back at Jamie with an apologetic look on his face.
After a moment Linda stands angrily. "And I was right too," she says, before gesturing for her sons to stand. "Come on kids, I don't want you around someone like that." Ignoring the protests of the kids, Linda bundles them out of the house without another word.
Tense silence fills the room and Jamie cannot stand it anymore, quelling the aching feeling in his heart. He shoves his chair back and flees, not looking behind him as he flies out the front door. Halfway across the lawn however, a force collides into Jamie's back and sends him flying into the lawn. Panicked, Jamie turns around, only to find Danny's face staring down at him with a concerned expression.
"Sorry kid, but I didn't know how else to stop you," Danny apologises, getting to his feet and helping Jamie up. "Come on, I'm staying with you tonight." The two make their way to Jamie's car and climb in.
The drive is silent and tense and Jamie avoids looking at his brother. When they reach Jamie's apartment they sit in the car in silence for a few minutes, before Jamie eventually climbs out with a sigh with Danny following.
"I'm sorry Jamie," Danny says once they're in the apartment. "It slipped out, I didn't mean to tell her. We had an argument and apparently the kids overheard. Shit, kid, that's not what I wanted to happen."
"I didn't even think about Linda not accepting me," Jamie says quietly. "I was worried about you and Dad and Pop. I didn't even think that Linda might not accept me. What if Erin doesn't?" Jamie chews his bottom lip nervously. "I don't think Pop and Dad accept me." He adds sadly.
"They just… They grew up in a different time to us, kiddo. It's going to be harder for them to accept this, but they still love you. You know nothing could stop dad from loving you. Or me." He says, trying to reassure Jamie. He reaches out and ruffles Jamie's hair and Jamie playfully bats him off.
"Thanks Danny. I love you too."
"You better kid. Danny says, punching Jamie in the arm.
Jamie smiles back at him, happy at least one person in his family accepts him. Even if no one else does, at least his brother accepts him and loves him.