Too Good To Be True
By NocturneD
note: Come on, dangling this thing in front of your face. BITE!
The five friends promised to keep the secret of Twilight Sparkle's discovery locked within their minds. As soon as the purple unicorn left. The friends went off to dine in, to discuss among themselves the strange event. It boggled their minds for awhile as they sat down at their table and were waiting to be served. They saw their friend Twilight panic before. But never to this breaking point where she forcefully threw herself into eyebrow raising rituals. Crying while performing the test over and over again. Locking herself in the bathroom and cry. Cry even taking a cold shower. Some of them felt guilty as they felt that they should have helped her better, but took it upon herself to get the truth out of her father.
"Man that is messed up huh?" Rainbow Dash spoke while reading over her menu.
"Come on Dash. We're here to eat and put this behind us." Apple Jack almost let her menu slip out of her hoofs as she wanted to scold her friend.
"I know. It's just weird." Dash frowned. Placing her menu down in front of herself she waved her hoof in circles to make a point, "I mean for example, what if one day for example we found out that Apple Bloom was really your daughter? How would she live with herself?"
Apple Jack kept her face straight but her eyes wandered. "Pretty bad analogy Dash. But I get what you're saying."
"I wonder if we should have let her go alone?" Fluttershy asked.
"She's been pretty quiet all day before she left on the train." Pinkie smiled, then looked at her menu. "I feel like having a piece of this chocolate cake with gold shavings."
"Pinkie dear we didn't even order our appetizers yet." Rarity frowned, then looked at the picture Pinkie was drooling over. "My it does look exquisite."
The waiter would eventually come over to take their orders. After that was done, the water left and said he would be back with their beverages. But Apple Jack had something else to say to the girls.
"Girls. You do know we can't talk about this." Apple Jack brought up.
"Oh yeah sure." Dash nodded.
"Indeed." Rarity smiled and brushed her curls letting them bounce.
"My lips are sealed." Pinkie actually zipped her lips somehow with an actual zipper.
"That means not even among ourselves out in public." Apple Jack frowned.
"Can we talk about it now?" Pinkie blinked.
Apple Jack slapped her own forehead, "No."
"Agreed. We will wait until Twilight is comfortable talking to us on what happened." Rarity smiled. Just the her drink was placed down in front of her as the waiter started passing them around. "Oh delightful." She took a small sip through her straw, "So anyway. Shall we talk about something else?"
"How about we talk about the rumor of Derpy only pretending to be stupid just to get a disability check?" Dash brought up.
"No it's pretty legit Rainbow." Apple Jack dismissed the claim, "I mean look there she is in front of the television display across the street at Best Buck." The country pony pointed to the grey pegasus doing what she does best. Staring blankly at the new models in the window, of a cat playing with a ball of yarn. Dr. Hooves and Dinky trying to pull her away.
"Kitty!" Derpy laughed. What she did not know it was a movie playing about an anti-poacher documentary and the kitty was really a tiger cub next to its mother. Suddenly poachers came out of nowhere and shot the mother tiger in the face and took the baby cub away. Derpy was screaming, "I'LL SAVE YOU KITTY!" She quickly looked all around to try and find something to use. With luck, she found the metal trash bin. She pulled it from the ground and destroyed the glass display. She ripped the TV from the stand and started shaking it. Quickly security surrounded Derpy, not happy with what she did. All she did, was smile like an innocent filly and drop the TV, breaking it as well.
"Well now that we de-bunked that rumor." Rarity went back to business. "We will talk about this only if we're behind closed doors. Do not want our sisters finding out about and telling their friends."
"Boy howdy." Apple Jack rolled her eyes.
They all laughed.
And soon were off on their own errands.
And were finding it a bit hard to keep themselves from telling the rest of their friends.
Fluttershy was happily tending to her animal friends and minding her own business. Feeding them and singing a little song. Watering her garden and picking the newly fresh vegetables that came in. Until she came across Angel who wanted food, picky little jerk. Fluttershy as usual, was more slave to this animal than ever. Angel continued being picky until Fluttershy got frustrated.
"Oh! I haven't been this frustrated since I promised I wouldn't tell Shining Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza were brother and sister!" Fluttershy grunted trying to clean up one of Angel's messes. Angel just froze with an eyebrow raised.
Fluttershy gasped, "Oh no. I blabbed!"
Angel blinked.
Fluttershy walked back to Angel, "Now Angel. Can you please keep this a secret?"
Angel frowned, still was hungry.
"Okay! Okay." Fluttershy hurried back into the kitchen, "I'll get what you want just please don't tell any pony!"
Angel felt like he was in the mood to blackmail his owner. Knowing Fluttershy, she obeyed. But Angel told all the other animals anyway. A lot of shock rattled the rest of the animals outside the cottage. The again, Fluttershy only told him to not tell any pony, never said anything about the other animals.
Meanwhile Rarity was getting her usual spa treatment from the twin owners. While filing her hoofs, the twins started to talk about some juicy gossip they just heard about the school teacher. Saying how Big Macintosh just proposed to her the other night and she gladly accepted. Lotus just babbling away while she filed Rarity's front hoofs, Aloe filing the lower ones. Soon the topic changed to Fancy Pants dumping Fleur and leaving her devastated. They talked and talked, Rarity knew where this was going. But she loved hearing the gossip, she had one to share that would blow the lid off everything. But she promised she would not tell. More and more the sisters discussed and spilled. Rarity was getting anxious.
But she could not hold it in. "The royal couple are really siblings!" Rarity immediately covered her mouth. Aloe and Lotus just looked at her.
"Excuse us?" Aloe asked.
"Uh sorry." Rarity tried to smile, "Nothing."
"I could have sworn you said that maybe captain Armor and Mi Amore are siblings?" Lotus went back to filing Rarity's hoofs. "Yes?"
"Oh I uh... Um. Nevermind." Rarity frowned and rolled her eyes trying to mind her own business.
"Oh." Aloe blinked, "Whatever it was sounded interesting."
"Too bad too." Lotus brought up, "Our spots on the VIP are getting full and need one more pony to fill the spot."
"VIP?" Rarity squealed. "You never done VIP before!"
"Yeah." Lotus smiled, "Only our best customers get in. Can set up their schedule any time they want, can walk in and out for convince, get to be first to try our new fur and mane care products."
"How much?" Rarity nearly went crazy. Demanding their price.
"Well its for the elite surely and it costs a pretty bit. Around ten thousand bits a month." Aloe explained.
"Ten thousand a month?" Rarity almost fainted. "What is your hair care products made out of? Gold?"
Aloe and Lotus put on their poker faces.
Rarity sighed, "Guess I am good with just being a regular pony." Then she got an idea, "Would you perhaps take any other form of payment?"
"We stopped doing special favors a long time ago." Aloe chuckled. Soon her sister joined. Rarity let that one slide.
"What if..." Rarity let her eyes wandered, "I tell you the juiciest piece of gossip I know?"
"Um. How juicy?" Lotus asked.
"Yes how juicy?" Aloe asked as well.
"So juicy it might bring the politics in Canterlot and the Crystal Kingdom to a screeching halt." Rarity tried to bait the twins. And it worked, the two were anxious. "Well. You know the royal wedding of Shining Armor and Cadence? Turns out, after my friend Twilight Sparkle doing a DNA test spell. She found out that Cadence was her half sister."
The twins gasped.
"And not only that. Her own father is Cadence's father." Rarity shared. "Princess Celestia must have not known about the relations and she performed the marriage herself between them." She stopped, "But you two can't share this with any other pony. Please!"
The twins blinked. Looked at each other. The next shot shows Rarity bouncing out happily with a gold VIP card good for a lifetime. She stopped and realized. She just sold out her friend's personal family secret for a lifetime VIP pass to the spa. Rarity sighed. Then brightened up, "Oh well. Says I can bring guests too so. It evens out." But in return, the spa twins would actually share this gossip with their clients.
Meanwhile back up in Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash had an opportunity to fly with Spitfire; one of the Wonder Bolts as well as a return of an old friend; Gilda. They were casually flying along the skies. Not saying much.
"So uh..." Rainbow Dash tried to make conversation but just came out and said it, "Cadence and Shining Armor are really brother and sister."
"What?" Spitfire turned her head.
"That sounds made up." Gilda chuckled.
"No I'm serious its true." Rainbow kept flying.
Gilda started laughing, "Oh man... Canterlot must really be messed up if they allowed a brother and sister to get married."
"Seriously?" Spitfire asked.
"Yeah. But you can't tell any other pony okay?" Dash demanded.
Gilda spoke up, "Sure Dash. What are friends for?" Little did the others know, Gilda had her fingers crossed. Gilda went and told her Griffon friends while Spitfire told the rest of the Wonder Bolts.
Pinkie Pie as you already know just told Mr. and Mrs Cake who just dismissed the idea. Then she told any pony she passed on the street. Many of the ponies dismissed what she said because well. She's Pinkie but still they spread the rumor around. Apple Jack kept mostly quiet about it, but then told her brother Big Macintosh, she was sure he would not tell but failed to notice Apple Bloom hiding behind a hay stack listening in. He kept mostly quiet about it, but then cousin Braeburn came to visit that same day. Mac told Braeburn. Braeburn just laughed it off and called up his family in Appleloosa to say he arrived alright. Then he told his family the rumor. Then they told every pony in Appleloosa. Even the buffalo tribe.
Apple Bloom raced off to tell her friends. Then they told two friends. And those two friends told two friends. So pretty from Appleloosa to some parts of Canterlot already knew about the rumor. Just when Apple Bloom was about to tell her friend Peppermint Twist the rumor, Apple Jack was behind her. Tugged on her tail and dragged her to a good spot to scold her.
"Apple Bloom!" Apple Jack scolded, "Where did you hear that?"
"From you." Apple Bloom defended herself. "I was behind a hay stack while you were talking to Big Mac!"
"Oh horse apples." Apple Jack frowned. "How many pony's know from just you alone?"
Apple Bloom counted the young ponies she told, "About six."
Just then Rarity was tugging Sweetie Belle by her tail giving her the same scolding. Sweetie Belle admitted she heard it from Apple Bloom. Speak of the devil. Rarity came marching up to Apple Jack. "I thought we said we were going to keep this a secret?"
"Hey... Don't look at me. I just told Big Mac and he keeps his mouth shut all the time." Apple Jack defended herself.
"Um." Fluttershy was behind them, "I just came from the spa and the twins just told me about the rumor."
Apple Jack then beamed at Rarity.
"What?" Rarity asked.
The five friends met up again at the tree house. Fighting among each other, failing to keep their friend's personal trouble out of the publics knowledge. Well Pinkie was too busy fighting the ceiling fan but hey its Pinkie Pie. Spike just sitting in the middle of all of this. He could not take it anymore.
"QUIET!" Spike shouted. The girls stopped fighting. "Clearly you five are the worst friends Twilight ever had. Thanks to you every pony from one end of Equestria to the other probably knows by now!" The girls felt guilty. Knowing he was right.
"You're right." Apple Jack admitted.
"Oh I feel awful." Rarity frowned.
"I'm a terrible friend." Fluttershy lowered her head in shame.
"What?" Rainbow Dash asked and shifted her shoulders.
"Now hold on every pony. Clearly a lot of ponies don't believe this so maybe it won't make thew news. Or catch that much attention."
"You're right. Maybe it won't catch on." Dash frowned, "Next time some pony ask we will say its a bunch of horse crap because we were at the wedding."
Some of the girls were feeling guilty as each their stories were pretty much cemented into most of the ponies in Ponyville as legit with their stories.
"Should we write a letter to the princess?" Dash asked. "You know just in case?"
"We told Twilight we would not interfere." Rarity frowned.
The girls just sighed. They were terrible friends. They agreed to not talk about it anymore and let nature take its course. They had one last conversation among themselves.
"What happens if Shining and Cadence stay together even if they are brother and sister?" Dash asked.
"That's up to them. Whatever they chose will be fine with us." Apple Jack proclaimed.
"Ew." Dash grunted.
"Yes if they want the Sparkle family to look like sick ponies." Rarity scoffed.
"Whatever." Apple Jack rolled her eyes.
"Remember that rumor going around saying Twilight and her brother are really close?" Pinkie Pie brought up.
"No." The others said.
"Yah. Shining Armor should divorce Cadence and marry Twilight!" Pinkie clapped her hoofs together.
The others just blinked.
"Did not quite think that one through did you Pinkie?" Spike raised an eyebrow.
"Pinkie. That just makes it even worse!" Dash yelled. Then she couldn't get the visual image out of her head.
(fantasy)
Shining Armor was sitting on a leather couch. His arms out supporting his wife; Cadence in one arm. His sister; Twilight in the other. They were rubbing their hoofs up and down his chest tenderly. Cooing and moaning while Seventies psychedelic music playing in the background.
"Oh Shining Armor. You're the sexist brother on the planet." Cadence rubbed her hoof on Shining's chin.
"Yes. A fine big brother best friend forever... But let's test that." Twilight gently pulled Shining's face towards hers. "Shall we?"
"I love spending time with my sister." Shining smirked. "Oops. I mean sisters." Cadence and Twilight laughed and were amused.
Just then the front door opened then closed. Twilight Velvet walked into the room looking at her so. Feeling up his sister and maybe half-sister.
"Ugh... Do you not have any control?" Velvet asked her son.
"Chill mom. What's eating you?" Shining grinned.
"You know I hate it..." She then put on a seductive smile. "When you start without me. I want to be part of your sexy circle?"
"Sure babe. Always room for one more." Shining encouraged his mother. Quickly she felt frisky and slithered her way into her son's lap. Throwing her arms around his neck.
"Ugh. Your father is so boring. All he wants to do is talk..." Velvet frowned. She looked up at her son, "I need a real stallion." Slowly she inched her face towards his, closer and closer waiting for their lips to meet.
(end fantasy)
"AH!" Rainbow screeched out loud. Her friends stared at her in shock. Quickly she tried to calm down. She went into the kitchen and started going through the cupboards. "SPIKE!"
"Yeah?" Spike asked.
"Where does Twilight keep the hard stuff? I need to drown a bad thought before it burns an image in my brain!" Rainbow hollered.
"Top cupboard above the fridge!" Spike pointed out.
"Maybe writing a letter to the princess would not be a bad idea after all." Rarity pondered.
"Like I said let Twilight figure this out." Apple Jack frowned.
Note: Should the girls write a letter to the princess? Or should they let Twilight pursue this further on her own? Also, her friends are pretty bad in this chapter.
I want to give a huge thanks to Wing Zero 032 for the idea on the friends spreading the rumors around town. A very interesting idea man. Check out his stories!
Oh yeah, sick fantasy I know. But hey, it caught your attention didn't it? Now go get some brain bleach.