Okay totally stole a song for this but the song is Chasing Rubies by HudsonTaylor and you should seriously listen to it! :D

Oisin has been staying with Brendan and Cheryl for over a week now he still hasn't opened up yet but he is growing closer with them, Ste and the kids, Oisin doesn't quite know what Brendan and Ste are, they remind him of himself and Ronan but that's just ridiculous to even think about. He's walking with Cheryl and Brendan when he hears his name being called and feels himself being pulled into a bone crushing hug "Ronan" he breaths out in barely a whisper "Miss me" he giggled, god Oisin loved that giggle "How did you know where I wa- you know what Ro I don't want to know" Ronan laughed at that making Oisin grin in reply "Oisin love who's this" Cheryl asked from behind him where she was standing with Brendan "Yeah, Jude you're so rude" Ronan said with a wicked grin "Ronan this is Brendan my dad I guess and Cheryl my auntie, Brendan, Cheryl this is Ronan the bane of my existence" Ronan nudged him for that and called him an idiot "Why did you call him Jude" Cheryl asked Ronan, Ronan's smile just grew wider "First song I ever heard him sing was 'Hey Jude' guess it stuck"

Oisin and Ronan walked behind Cheryl and Brendan back to the flat, Ronan telling him how Eamon and Ross were fighting because they both fancied Ava and that they had all met Bono last Monday, "Oh and I went to your house" Ronan announced after they had got inside, Oisin just looked at him "Did I ever tell you that I hate your mam" Ronan said bluntly "Same" Oisin muttered more quietly "I told her that I left some stuff there, here I got most of your things" Ronan said while handing over a duffle bag "You are the best" Oisin all but shouted after pulling out his lucky guitar pick, "You wanna play" Ronan prompted getting his own guitar from his case.

Cheryl and Brendan just watched as the boys started singing, It was the happiest they had seen Oisin all week and Cheryl had a feeling it had more to do with Ronan than having his things.

They where singing a song Oisin had written a while ago after the had split up for a little while, It was called 'Chasing Rubies' and it was probably the best song he had ever written, Ronan was looking at him like he wanted to cry but also rip his clothes off at the same time, Ronan was just odd like that full of a million different emotions all at once, Oisin normally only felt pain and anger with guilt making an appearance aswell.

Awhile later after they had eaten dinner Oisin nervously asked "Ronan can stay here right" Brendan just looked at him as Cheryl answered "Ofcourse" Ronan smiled at him, to anyone else it would just be a smile but Oisin knew better "Right, I'm gonna show him his room" he then dragged Ronan upstairs by the wrist.

Upstairs Oisin and Ronan were kissing franticly, Oisin backed Ronan against the door and started to kiss his neck Ronan then hooked his legs around Oisin's waist in an all too familar position.

Oisin was tracing his finger along Ronan's jaw when Ronan woke up "Such an amazing view" he said his voice rasping thick with sleep, "I love you" Oisin whispered, locking eyes with his lover "I know you do, and I love you too" Ronan replied with a content smile and a flutter of his eyes as sleep over took him again.

Oisin dressed quietly in a red flannel shirt over a white t-shirt, that probably belonged to Ronan and a old pair of blue jeans.

Oisin was leaving the flat when Ronan called after him "Going to confession are you" Ronan asked obviously upset "Ron- Every fucking time Oisin, when is this going to bloody stop"

"Well go on then Oisin, don't let me get in the way of your self hatred" Ronan snapped "I'm sorry" Oisin whispered as he turned and left the flat and the boy he loved behind.
Forgive me father for I have sinned, I'm in love with a boy

Oisin had confessed after their first kiss and most of their other ones to, after a while he stopped confessing for kissing Ronan but he had to confess after they were intimate together or he couldn't sleep or eat without feeling a heavy weight in his gut and hearing a voice in his head telling him he was an abomination, the voice usually sounded like Dermot. Ronan found out after their third time together, he was hurt, he tried to explain to Oisin that he wanted him to be able to love him without feeling like it was wrong, but Oisin couldn't, he wanted to, but he couldn't.

When they were alone and together in a mass of limbs not knowing where one stopped and the other began, they were fine, they were happy, they were in-love but when Oisin got lost inside of his own head again he lost that feeling of love and safety and he thought about how wrong it was and how he was going to hell, how much God must of hated him, so he needed to be forgiven and couldn't shake a great feeling of unsettlement until he was.
Ronan deserved better, Oisin knew that, Ronan was proud of his sexuality and of himself, Oisin was ashamed and hated himself because of it, Ronan deserved someone as open and as brave as he was, Oisin wasn't that person, Ronan deserved someone who would shout about their relationship from roof-tops, Oisin had trouble admitting it to himself let alone other people, Ronan deserved someone who could love him properly, Oisin was broken and couldn't love anyone.

Again please review! and I'm writing the next chapter now and hopefully it'll be longer :)