It's so hard to keep it T-rated. But I love a challenge. Hope you enjoy.

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"Have you decided on your order already?" every time I said it, the words came out the same to me.

Every time except for that one.

Life in Vane was a lot crowded, a lot busier than I was used to. That was probably what I missed the most about Little Traverse. After I got to learn my way around the subway though, the whole adaptation process became fairly easier. Funny how those things work.

The new school was in the heart of the city, a twenty-minute ride from the private campus.

One would think things happened quite fast… And Edea nearly forbade me to leave the house once she found I had got myself a part-time job at a small coffeehouse downtown.

"You have to worry about your studies, Cloud. And you're too young to work." she had complained.

"I'm only too young if it's illegal…" I smiled. An annoyed sigh came from the other end of the line.

"But didn't I tell you I would help you?" she insisted.

Yes, that much was true. But being financially supported when you want to breakthrough more than anything is a common misconception.

However, it was a little dumbstrucking to find that selling my paintings in the real world did not work.

When he turned around at the sound of my voice, I knew he wished for time to stop; for people to disappear. His eyes lingered and his voice faltered as if he had no idea of what to say next. He was like the dog on a leash that couldn't reach its water.

I held out a hand and he took it, in the briefest handshake. I don't think we had ever done it in our lives.

"How was your flight?" I asked, trying to keep it casual.

Zack shrugged, "Boring seems accurate. I had no idea the ocean was that big." he laughed, sarcastic.

"Huh? Where are your bags?" I asked, nearly mutely.

He squinted, amused. "Cloud, it's just a weekend… I brought everything I could possibly need."

I looked beside him to find a nylon messenger bag where too little of nothing could possibly fit. Only then and there did I realise what a two-day weekend really meant.

"Hey. We'll make the most out of it." his voice cut through my thoughts. I nodded.

"I'll be out in half an hour. Wanna drink something?" I asked – "It's on me. For the waiting and all…"

His lips parted in a malicious grin. "Oh, if you put it that way… Bring me the most expensive, non-alcoholic, sugar-based drink you have!" he said.

I tried my hardest not to smile as I left his table.

After all, I was a thirsty dog too.

That was the first time we saw each other since I left. It was also the second time I've heard his voice. Even though both Edea and Aerith constantly called the residential building asking for me, communication with Zack revealed to be fairly harder. I did call him once myself, but we spent thirty minutes breathing weakly against the silent phone line.

Neither of us knew what to talk about, though I reckon both of us knew what we wanted to say.

I knew I did…

During our first weekend together, the hardest part was to pretend. Well, to pretend our life was still the same. Three months, four months – whatever it was, it wasn't enough for things to change dramatically.

However, in the end they always did.

For the first time in my life I felt committed to something, something I could not fail. I never knew, though, if it was my future or my expectations, or if I was just overly devoted to my drawings.

All the beatings and the insults of my childhood felt distant enough for me to take them as experiments, almost as if I had never endured them myself, and I knew whatever bonded me to those back home was slowly, gradually developing, one way or another.

But Zack… he was always so powerfully embedded in my thoughts, there was no room for development. It was not like I fully understood the matter, but his image in my mind was still the same. And it hurt to think of him now as much as it had hurt before.

As I lay on my bed at night, unable to fall asleep, I often wondered what he was doing – what he had been doing so far, without me.

I would ask myself then if it was even humanly possible to miss someone so much.

"I can hear your thoughts from here. Shut up."

I blinked my eyes in the dark. It was one of those nights…

"What? Can't sleep." I retorted, sitting up. I tried to outline his shadow on the bed across the room.

He grumbled, turning his bedside lamp on. His chocolate-brown hair was a mess, but it was a good thing that his locks covered his angry, drowsy glare.

"I've been up since 6 in the morning, and I can't get to sleep with you constantly turning and shifting over there. These mattresses are fucking old and fucking noisy so, get a grip on yourself!" – he talked with a sullen face but not with a sullen voice, his eyes turned to the ceiling.

I waited in silence, until our eyes met under the half-light. I laughed.

Squall grumbled once again and turned off his lamp, as I slid under my covers and rested my arms behind my head, not ready to sleep yet.

Squall Leonhart was my new roommate, Aerith's old friend. He was also a sophomore, and I truly thought him a rival until he made it clear to me that painting was nowhere his concerns. He was a sculptor of some sort, which pretty much explained our messy dorm, even though he did spend an awful lot of time working on the terrace.

Sometimes, I would meet him up there myself, for the sake of fresh air.

"I don't mind, but you have to keep quiet." he advised me, rubbing the sweat of his forehead with the back of his hand. It was a chilly morning of February.

I nodded. "I don't usually talk while I draw, anyway…" I muttered.

He stared at me for a silent instant, his expression impossible to read, and resumed his work with the sandpaper around a small wooden figure.

He collected tones of unfinished ones.

Like Aerith had warned, Squall really was of a bitter humour, with a strange obsession over people taking off their shoes before getting in the house. A family trait I reckon…

Still, it was easy for us to like each other from the beginning, since I talked too little and he barely ever talked at all.

He knew I had someone coming over, that last weekend of March, and though I never asked him to leave us alone, he just did.

"It must feel a little weird…"

"Hum…" I bit the side of my ring finger – "It was at first, but now we get along just fine."

Zack pressed my knees between his. "Yeah, I can tell…"

I chuckled, pinching his shin to get rid of his grasp – "How could you tell? You haven't even met him."

"Yeah…" the bed creaked all over as he sat up.

I kept my knees up, and the shadows prevented me from the full look on his face. I knew he was still musing about it, nevertheless. It was his body language, the timbre of his voice…

"Zack…?" I muttered, sitting up in front of him.

"Hey, you don't happen to have a photo of the guy, do you?" he asked, half-excited all of a sudden.

"What?" I frowned – "No, of course not."

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. "Good then." he said.

It was late into the night. Squall could be anywhere, I really didn't think of it.

All things considered, that might have been our very first night together and all by ourselves. It didn't feel romantic or premeditated or awkward; I wasn't even dressed up for the occasion, in my plain jeans and sweatshirt, my blond locks an unfortunate mess. After a while, it even stopped hurting – to think of him. It was like the previous months never came to be and we were still on Chocobo Street, in my room of the size of a pantry.

"Cloud?" he whispered, his eyes turning to the window – "Do you ever feel like telling? About… us?"

My eyes must have widened in surprise. "What's there to tell about us?" I repeated.

He raised a dark eyebrow at me. "Are you serious?"

"I dunno…" I shrugged, confused. He seemed genuinely serious about it, but so was I.

We held in silence for a while longer, the only light around us coming from outside, from the streetlamps and the flashy, moving headlights. Finally, I remembered where I was. The street noises, the wind, the shutting of doors, the giggles across the wall – I could hear them so perfectly, so loudly in my head.

His hand outstretched in front of me. "Come here."

I sat on my knees and reached out for his fingers. Long, gentle fingers. Cold, lately he was always cold. And my nails were so terribly-looking I nearly withdrew my hand immediately.

Still, once he got hold of it, I knew he would never let it happen.

He kissed my open palm. His voice felt heavy. "You're like a drug…"

I clenched my fist. "Don't use that word…"

"I said I would try to stop, remember?" he threw the tip of his tongue out, pulling me closer.

It was easy to give in to him when he looked into your eyes and read every lingering feeling behind their surface. It was simple to lose when he reached for your skin and kissed your cheeks. It was painful to let go when he nibbled your earlobe, when he breathed against your neck. It was harder to pull away when he got greedy and you got caught.

He slid his cold hand under my sweatshirt. "I missed your scent." he muttered.

I believed I frowned at those words, wondering why he would never say the words I wanted to hear.

He would carelessly say he missed a lot of things, but he never said he missed me.

Were we ever that close, I thought…

He chuckled against my lips. "You can touch me too, you know?" he said, his aqua-green eyes smiling at me in that sprite-like attitude of his. Why could I see them so perfectly?

I shook my head, very quietly, assertively.

He nodded. "Ok then. But I can touch you, can't I?"

"Makes me uncomfortable… when you talk like that so casually…" I tried to keep my voice as low and manly as I could.

"Yeah…" he whispered. Deep inside I knew I was hurting him.

And yet, it was still so hard to pull away. When he stopped, your heart would falter. Rejection was the worst part of it.

When I woke up, he was gone. No note left.

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I hope this is good enough to update. I probably should focus on Cloud's new life in Vane but then I thought: the hell with it. Things will happen the way they need to happen.

Reviews are very much appreciated.

ALSO, if you have an interesting wordpress account feel free to leave a note. I'll be working on my page soon and I want to collect as many interesting blogs as I can. Lol.