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Chapter 6 - The night after

Usagi stood stiffly as she looked at man.

Rei was saying something but Usagi couldn't focus on her words.

She couldn't move her eyes, he seemed to be equally stunned looking back at her.

Then her knees gave out and she felt Mamoru hold her up.

"Usagi?"

She looked up at Mamoru's concerned eyes.

Her mouth opened but nothing came out, blinking she cleared her throat. 'Go..Gomen..muscle cramped."

Mamoru's expression relaxed. "Can you stand up?"

Usagi forced herself to smile and straightened up. "Yea..it..It's fine now"

She lowered her eyes avoiding all eye contact. She couldn't look at him. She could feel his shocked eyes on her.

"This is Usagi..she's a new family member".

Usagi heard Rei introduce. What should she do?

She saw him slowly raise his hand and held it out in front of her. She wanted to slap it away. Those hands..she never wanted to touch them again.

Usagi swallowed the lump in her throat, taking a deep breath she stuck out her hand and plastered another fake smile onto her face. "Y..yoroshiku." She said stiffly.

His hands were warm. She use to love his long slender fingers and how they curled around her own small hand.

Rei patted him on the arm lightly. "Usagi-Chan this is Damon...I work for his father..he's my fiance"

Fiance. Usagi felt like someone just slapped her across the face.

"Yoroshiku.." He said quietly. Usagi couldn't read his expression.

"Damon this is my brother Mamoru.You've heard of each other." Rei grinned at Mamoru.

Mamoru smiled and stuck out his hand warmly. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Usagi wanted to get out of there, she didn't want to stay there a second longer.

"Usagi?" Rei looked at her concerned. "What's wrong? you don't look too well."

Mamoru looked down at her alarmed. He raised a hand to her forehead. "You're burning up a bit...are you alright?"

Usagi nodded. "It's nothing..it's just the heat in here".

Mamoru lowered his hand. "Just in case, i'm taking you home right now. Rei i'll still you tomorrow at dinner...damon you too". He nodded at the other man.

Dinner? Usagi clenched her hand. What should she do?

"Come on.." Mamoru lightly pulled her, his hand clasped over hers once again.

Usagi avoided Rei's confused gaze and Damon's penetrating one. She realized she was probably crushing Mamoru's hand, she was holding onto it for dear life, if she let go she felt like she would fall apart.

She mumbled a goodbye and followed Mamoru out the ballroom.

Mamoru took off his suit and placed it on Usagi's shoulder as they walked outside the ball room.

Usagi couldn't meet his eyes.

"What's wrong..? Maybe you're coming down with something.. Was it something you ate..?" Mamoru raised a hand and brushed Usagi's face lightly.

Usagi closed her eyes at the tingling feeling it left. She couldn't lift her head and look at him. What would he think when he found out? What would she do now? She couldn't even tell him the truth now even if she wanted to. His kindness was like a knife that buried itself further and further inside her heart, threatening to cut her heart in half.

Mamoru lowered his hand. He looked down at the ground for a second running a hand across his lips. "I'm worried Usagi."

Usagi shook her head lightly but remained silent. She didn't trust her voice.

Mamoru sighed. "Usagi ..." He ran a hand through his hair.

Usagi looked up at him.

"i know something's bothering you, i've known since that day i came home and found you crying on the front porch. But you just..won't open up to me. " He looked away. "I know you might still not be comfortable telling me..but seeing you like this and not being able to do anything about it...it's driving me crazy."

He looked at her. His eyes held something she couldn't read.

"Why?' Usagi asked barely above a whisper. "Why do you care so much?"

Mamoru didn't say anything. He took her hands gently into his own, tracing his fingers over them.

"I don't know..." Mamoru pulled her until she was standing centimeters away from his chest.

Then he brought his hands up and cupped them around her face. "At first..i just wanted to help out an extremely talented painter..who shared similar background with me." Mamoru traced his thumb across her cheek. "but when i saw you standing at the door...you took my breath away Usagi."

Usagi stood unmoving, eyes focused on the man before her. What was he saying? Her heart pounded painfully.

"I don't really believe in first at love sight but...with you that was exactly what it was."

Usagi felt her breath catch. She wanted to cry and laugh her heart out at the same time.

Mamoru smiled lightly biting one side of his lip. "I know..how crazy this sounds right now and this is probably the last thing you wanted to hear, especially from you new guardian--"

Usagi placed her hand over Mamoru's mouth stopping him. Her tears poured out of her eyes, her voice cracking she said. "No..you've said everything i've wanted to hear..hoped to hear..." She stopped.

Mamoru looked at her intently. "..But?" he asked softly.

Usagi wiped away the tears trailing down her face, but more poured out. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"But i can't be with you..." She whispered.

She saw the pain that flickered across Mamoru's face. He didn't let go of her hand. "It's ok...It's just how i feel..i wanted you to know..I don't want you to feel pressured because of what I--"

Usagi shook her head violently. "It's not that Mamoru-kun..it's not that..." She looked up at his stormy blue eye. They held so much question in them.

She forced herself to smile and raised one hand to his face, letting out a shaky laugh. "i'm not for you.."

"What do you mean?..If this is about my job or.." Mamoru trailed off as Usagi shook her head again, tears flying from her eyes.

He looked at her pained, brushing away her tears he asked softly. "Then what is it..? "

Usagi looked up at him, taking in a shaky breath. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't do it. "I.."

She could see the hurt on Mamoru's face, but he smiled shaking his head lightly.

Usagi felt the tears well up again. He had said what she wanted to hear the most hadn't he? She was aching to tell him that she felt the same, so why couldn't she just be honest with him and tell him everything? Even if he couldn't accept her past it was ok wasn't it? Even if he couldn't love her anymore after that, he had still loved her hadn't he? Her silence was only hurting him.

Usagi raised a shaky hand to her face to cool down the burning. She looked down at the ground. Say something Usagi..you'll only hurt him more.

Before Usagi could say something, Mamoru took her shaking hand into his firmly, He raised the other hand to her forehead looking concerned. "Ahh Gomen what am i doing, you didn't feel well i was suppose to take home.."

"It's..It's okk..i'm ok." Usagi stuttered, tears still dripping.

"I"m sorry i made you cry.." Mamoru said brushing her tears away for the hundreth time that night. "Don't cry Usagi.. lets go home so you can get some rest, wait for me here i'll get the car." Mamoru turned around heading towards the parking lot.

Usagi looked at Mamoru's back as he walked away. How did it turn out to be this?. She felt her heart cramp painfully. If she let this moment pass, if she let him walk away now...it'd be all over wouldn't it? Tomorrow what would be of them?

Is it really ok to let him go like this? Usagi felt a wave of desperation.

Usagi opened her mouth,.wanting to call out for him. "Ma.." Her voice broke. She wrapped a hand around her neck. Her eyes burning with unshed tears again. He was already disappearing around the corner. Usagi ran.

Just as he was turning around the corner, he stopped hearing the sound of heels behind him.

Before Mamoru could turn around, Usagi wrapped her arms around Mamoru's waist and buried her face into his back.

"..Usagi?"

Mamoru turned around, wrapping his arms around her.

"I"m sorry...I"m so sorry Mamoru-kun..."

Usagi buried her face into Mamoru's dress shirt, her tears soaking the white material.

Mamoru rubbed her back gently. "It's ok..It's ok Usagi..you don't have to say anything ...i understand."

Usagi body shook under his arms, he didn't understand. She wanted him..wanted him so much. But it would have been easier if Mamoru didn't love her..because then for her it would just be an unrequitted love..because the truth was..they couldn't be together, there was no future.

The thing that was holding her back from telling him everything wasn't what he would think of her anymore.

Even if Mamoru could forgive her past...after tonight..she didn't know if she could forget and move on. She hadn't been able to for the past two years.

Now Knowing that he was Rei's boyfriend...even if Mamoru accepted her... looked past everything...how was she to tell him that the very person was about to become his brother in law?

Usagi clenched her hands around Mamoru's shirt.

In the end...even if it was just one night that she wanted to allow herself to think she could be with him..it seem to have been to much to wish for ...

To be continued

Author's Note: Bahhh it's here! the update haha, he confessed! I hope i didn't make it too cheesy, but anyways enjoy the update! thanks for the reviews everyone. Please keep them coming haha