I DO NOT OWN NARUTO
Here is chapter 2. Sorry for the wait. I had the idea in my head, but I just didn't know how to put it on paper. Well read, review and enjoy! Action. 'Thought'. "Speech". Emphasis.
WARNINGS: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of hitting, mentions of intoxication, mentions of wives, mentions of babies, mentions of breast milk, mentions of girlfriends, mentions of using tongues, and mentions of pedophiles. I apologize if I missed anything too important.
A Baby? And Then Matchmaking
In a local park Tsunade takes a seat on a brown, wooden bench. Kakashi, with his now black eye, stops walking when he realizes his companion is not following him. He looks back and turns around. With his hands in his pockets he walks toward his Hokage. Kakashi raises a hand up to his injury.
"Did you really have to hit me?", he asks, once in front of her.
She places her arms over the bench.
"Of course... You did violate me".
"It was an accident!", he tells her.
"Oh yeah... That's why you stopped, looked at me and then spit in my face", she sarcastically replies.
"I was surprised!", he admits.
She rolls her eyes.
"Yeah... That's why I hit you too".
"No you didn't! You hit me because you were angry and you have problems controlling your-".
'Jeez! When is that alcohol gonna run off?'. "Alright Kakashi, enough", she says. "We're getting off topic here".
He takes a seat beside her.
"I don't wanna get married", he tells her as he turns to face her.
She does the same.
"I think it's a good idea".
"Well I don't".
"But you need an heir, Kakashi".
"Why?", he asks. "You don't have one".
"That's different... And we're not talking about me, we're talking about you and your future family".
"That's not fair!".
He pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.
"Come on, Kakashi", she tries to cheer him up. "It'll be fun... You'll have a beautiful wife and have beautiful babies together that will have your genes".
"I don't want babies", Kakashi tells her.
He remembers the first and last time he babysat Kurenai's demon child. She threw up all over his Icha Icha book and he had to throw it out because the print became unreadable and the book smelled like beast milk. That was when he decided 'Never Again'.
She raises an eyebrow.
"Why not?".
"Let's see", he says as he raises his hands to count the number of reasons. "They smell, they're always crying, they throw up everywhere, you always have to change their diapers, they stink-".
"That means the same as smell", she comments on his last word.
He looks at his fingers.
"Well, there you go... I gave you five reasons".
"Four", she corrects. "Last one didn't count".
"Whatever", he tells her. "I am not having kids".
She hears the seriousness in his voice.
"Okay", she says. "Maybe you're not ready for children just yet... You still haven't acknowledged the fact that their existence allows for our survival, but what about a wife? Do you have a girlfriend or someone in mind? I mean a man like you must have women lining up, right?".
He scoffs and points to his black eye.
"Not with this".
"If that's the problem, I can heal it", she tells him as she holds up her hands.
He brushes her off.
"No, it's fine... But I don't really pay attention to women".
Tsunade slowly nods her head.
"So basically we're back to square one".
"When did we leave?", he asks her jokingly.
She sighs.
"I'm gonna give you a list and I want you to tell me what you think, okay?".
He shrugs.
"Ayame", she says.
"The daughter of the man who owns Ichiraku Ramen Shop?", Kakashi asks.
Tsunade nods.
"Are you insane woman!".
She glares at him. He holds his hands up in defense.
"Let me rephrase that".
Her glare softens.
"Are you drunk!".
"Kakashi", she growls.
"But seriously, no".
"Why not?", Tsunade asks a bit surprised. "I mean she is pretty... And she can cook you free ramen all the time".
"That's the thing though", he says.
She raises an eyebrow and he continues.
"Naruto would be at my house 24/7 if he knew I was dating the Ramen Princess... No way. Not gonna happen".
Tsunade nods. 'Naruto is pretty annoying'. "Okay... What about Shizune?".
"No", Kakashi blandly states.
"Why not?", she asks, disappointment in her voice.
"I don't have many friends", he admits. "And I don't want to lose the ones I've got now".
"What are you talking about?", she asks.
"That's Genma's girl", he tells her.
"What? Really?".
He nods his head.
"They've been dating for at least four months now".
"Wow... I really gotta pay attention to these things", she says to herself.
Kakashi rolls his eye, or at least tries to.
"Okay, okay".
Tsunade stops to think.
"Sakura!".
Kakashi raises an eyebrow, this time.
"What about my student?".
"Uh, you mean my student", she corrects him. "And what about her? She'd make a nice wife, huh?".
Tsunade winks at him.
"She's only 16! Do you want people to think I'm a pedophile?", he responds.
'I think they already do'. "So?", she asks. "Who cares what people think?".
"No", he says. "That's my final answer".
"Fine!", she huffs.
She opens her mouth to say something, but Kakashi interjects.
"Don't even think about saying another student's name".
She closes it.
"What about Kurenai?".
"She has a baby already... And she's the mother of my best-friend's daughter, so no".
Tsunade begins to lose hope as she runs out of names.
"Anko?", she asks in desperation.
"She creeps me out", Kakashi admits.
He shudders at the thought of seeing her draped in snakes.
"She's not that bad", Tsunade tells him. "I mean she's got a really long tongue... Good for something, right?".
"No", he states, no emotion in his voice. "Are we done yet?".
Tsunade sighs in defeat.
"I guess".
Kakashi raises himself up to his feet. He stretches himself out and puts his hands back into his pockets.
"Well, come on".
"Huh?", she questions as she looks up at him.
"I can't just leave you here... I'll walk you home. It's the right thing to do".
She smiles and raises herself up.
"You're quite the gentleman", she states.
"Yeah, yeah... It's only 'cause you'll be healing my hangover tomorrow. So let's go already".
Kakashi's starting to feel the after effects of his previous alcohol consumption.
"But seriously", Tsunade says as she walks to his side. "You should really think about who you want to marry... Tomorrow when you come to my office you better have an answer, or else".
Kakashi sighs and the two of them walk home.
'Great... Now I have to actually do something tonight... I officially hate my life'.
*****The end of chapter 2. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you think it deserves a review feel free to leave one. Any type is welcome and I apologize for any mistakes, including any ooc. Well I hope you enjoy the rest of your day and tune in next time. :p*****