I DO NOT OWN NARUTO
WARNINGS: Mentions of hangovers, mentions of marriage, mentions of boobies, mentions of staring at boobs, very very very minor hint of self pleasure, and the h-word which is hello minus the o is said about 3 times. I don't think I missed anything.
Okay, Pikachu I Choose You (This is not Pokemon nor do I own it)
Entering Tsunade's office, without knocking, Kakashi walks right up to her desk and places his hands on her desk.
"Okay", he says.
She stops writing and looks up from her work.
"What?".
"I made up my mind", he tells her as he stands up straight.
The Hokage puts down her writing utensil. She leans back in her chair, crossing her arms under her chest.
"Really?", she asks.
He nods.
"Take a seat", she encourages him.
He gladly does so, no comments, complaints, or arguments escaping from his mouth. She raises an eyebrow at this.
'Why's he so happy. I thought he didn't want to get married... Oh well, my job just got easier!'.
"Are you ready?", he asks her.
'Ready for what? It's just a list of names'. "Are you?".
He leans back in his chair.
"Of course".
"What happened to your hangover?", she asks him after remembering their previous outing.
"Sakura took care of it already", he tells her.
Tsunade immediately raises herself up, her hands on her desk. Kakashi flinches back slightly and even though he wouldn't admit it, he knew it was in fear.
"Shizune!", she screams.
Her black-haired assistant enters the room.
"Tsunade-Sama?".
The Godaime has a wide grin on her face. Kakashi stares at her, one eyebrow raised.
'What is she doing? How dare she-'.
His train of though loses itself as his gaze averts down.
'What a perfect angle', he thinks.
She points at her.
"Get me a priest and call the best tailor in the village!".
"Why?", Shizune asks, confused.
Her hand rests back on the desk.
"Sakura's getting married".
Shizune's jaw drops. Her mouth remains wide open as she stares at her master in shock.
"To who?", Kakashi asks in a mellow voice.
"To you!", she answers.
"That's nice", he says, still in his trance. He breaks out and looks at her face.
"Wait! What the? No, she's not!".
"Yeah! That's what you came to tell me, right? That you chose her?".
"Where the hell did you get that from?", he asks her.
"Well, there has to be a reason that you went to her instead of me, right?".
"Yeah", he answers seriously. "She was closer".
"Oh",Tsunade says.
She takes her seat.
"So?", Shizune asks.
The Godaime sighs.
"Forget everything I just said".
The black-haired Kunoichi nods and leaves the room.
Tsunade looks at Kakashi to meet his glare.
"Oh give me a break!", she says. "I had a rough morning".
He rolls his eye, now healed thanks to his student.
"Can I go on?", he asks.
She nods.
"If I say another girl's name you're not gonna set up another wedding, are you?".
She glares at him.
He raises his hands up in defense.
"Alright then... Let's moves on".
"I'm waiting", she tells him.
"Okay... I will only marry these three things", he tells her.
"Women are not "things", Kakashi", she corrects him.
'I know... They're monsters'.
He puts up a finger.
"My books. Series 1 through 3".
He puts up a second.
"My hand. Left or right, it doesn't matter... But I'd prefer my right".
He puts up a third.
"And...". Looking at her chest he says, "Your boobs".
He looks back to her confused face.
"Make your choice".
"What the hell, Kakashi?", she asks. "When I told you to chose a wife, I meant a human being".
He shrugs.
"Too late... I wasted at least 5 minutes of my life on that list, so can you just choose something already?".
"You can't marry any of those things!", she tells him.
"Why not?", he asks.
"For one, your books are inanimate objects!".
"So?", he asks. "I love my books!".
"And you can't marry your hand because it's a part of your body!", she tells him. "Why the hell would you want to marry your hand anyways?".
"Well", he says. "On lonely nights-".
She holds up a hand to stop him.
"Enough! I don't even want to know".
"Okay, then what about your-".
"You can't marry my boobs", she tells him.
"Because?", he questions.
"Because they're a part of me! You'd have to marry me for my breasts".
"Okay then... It's settled".
"What is?", she asks.
"We're getting married", he tells her.
"What? No, we're not!", she responds.
He raises himself up.
Putting his hands in his pockets he says, "I guess I don't have to get married then".
He walks to the door and places his hand on the knob.
"Wait!",Tsunade says, raising herself up, again.
Kakashi can clearly hear the desperation in her voice. He smirks under his mask.
'I can't believe she's actually going to do this. Why does she want me to get married so bad?'.
He turns around, slowly.
"Yes?".
She sighs.
"I..."., her voice trails off.
She bites her lip. Kakashi watches her actions closely. She looks away from his eyes.
'Don't tell me she's shy about this kind of stuff'.
"Talked to Tsume this morning", she admits like she was declaring that she murdered the Fire Daimyo, or any of them at that.
Her body language returns to normal; confident, strong and demanding. He cocks his head to the side.
"So?".
"She's arranging a marriage for her daughter, Inuzuka Hana... And you will be the groom".
"What?", he asks.
She begins walking toward that same door.
"Since you can't decide on your own I'll help you... Wedding's next week, Tuesday. You better show".
She opens the door.
"You can't do that!", he tells her.
Looking back she says, "I'm the Hokage... I can do anything".
She exits.
"But... I don't even know her!", he whines.
Waving back and walking away she answers, "Well, you better go meet her then... And bring Pakkun. I heard she likes dogs".
He glares at her as she turns the corner.
'You think you can control my life? Don't worry. I'll get you back... After I get something to eat'.
***** End of chapter 3. I hope you enjoyed reading it because I did enjoy writing it. I want to give a shout out to Fantasi Liar for inspiring me with their review. Thank you for reading. I would give you a waffle (") # ("), but the site doesn't let me :(. Anyways I hope you enjoy the rest of your week!*****
LAST CHAPTER UNTIL I GET BACK FROM VACATION