Chapter XVII
Sherry
The night passed easily for Sherry and Leon. The lights of the city served as momentary distraction from what she knew to be very real. The alcohol drowned out her sorrow - only if momentarily. She made sure to not get drunk but couldn't help feeling a little buzzed by the alcohol in her system. Leon laughed at her wobbling form and helped her up the stares, ensuring her that she was indeed drunk.
"I'm not drunk," she slurred back at him with a giggle. He rolled his eyes with a smirk and helped her into her apartment, leading her into her bedroom and dropping her onto her bed carefully.
"I'll be in the living room." He informed her with a chuckle, kissing her forehead and escaping her drunken giggles.
In the morning when Sherry woke she found Leon was already waiting for her. He was wearing his usual clothing and she raised a brow when she noticed that he was petting one of her cats. "Ready to go already?" She murmured.
"Yes, are you?" He asked her, noticing her raggedy clothing.
"No, no, I'll go change." Sherry darted back into the bedroom.
She didn't know what to wear. On one hand she wanted to go casually, but on the other hand she didn't want to look like crap in from of Jake. With a deep breath Sherry put on her nicest pair of black jeans, tight and snug. She threw on a nice pair boots and a pretty button down blue shirt. She painted her lips a light pink and threw on a snug hat. When she came out of the bedroom Leon smiled subtly.
"Ready?" She asked him as she threw on her jacket and tried to steady her heart beat.
"More than ready," he told her and followed her out of the apartment.
The entire drive over to Jake's apartment Leon noticed that Sherry's fingers were tightened around the steering wheel as if she was trying to stop them from trembling. But he knew her, he knew Sherry's habits, and the ramblings she was creating were obvious hints towards how nervous she was.
"Do you want me to wait for you outside?" He asked her when they pulled into a parking spot in front of Jake's building. He noticed that she was looking at herself in the mirror.
"Yes, I mean, this is something I should do on my own. Maybe you can wait in the hallway if you don't mind? Just in case things get… heated."
"I'm perfectly fine with that." Leon told her gently and followed her into the apartment complex.
They rode up the elevator in silence. Sherry's eyes were roaming everywhere, staring at everything but Leon; it was as if she were afraid that her resolve would break. He just watched her carefully as she took deep steadying breaths and fixed her hair nervously. She seemed to be breaking the closer they got to Jake's apartment.
Eventually they did reach it and when they were on the floor he noticed that she was slowing down her walk. He stopped her before they reached Jake's door and smiled, "everything will be fine, just explain what happened, if he doesn't want to hear you out then that's another story. You cannot control him. Make your point and that's all."
"Alright, ok, I will." Sherry nodded.
Sherry walked away from Leon with a trembling step and approached Jakes door. 6E, it read. She sighed stoically before it and listened for any movement within the apartment. When she heard none she knocked gently, almost too quietly.
She waited for a few moments when she heard footsteps padding over to the door. She sighed heavily and steeled herself, glancing towards Leon down the hallway; he was watching her with a supporting smile. She nodded and braced herself.
The door opened slowly to reveal a gorgeous brunette. Sherry looked at her up and down, noticing that the girl was wearing one of Jake's pajama pants and one of his shirts. The girl had bed head and her eyes seemed to be reddened, it seemed that she had just woken up.
"May I help you?" She asked Sherry with annoyance as Sherry stood there speechlessly. The woman noticed that the stranger at the door was indeed very pretty, even if she didn't want to admit it. She was skinny; she had pretty short blonde hair and a wide eyed stare that would melt anyone's cold heart.
"Uh, yeah, I'm here to see Jake." Her tone was stronger than she expected it to be.
"He's busy right now." The girl informed Sherry, her eyes were confused it seemed.
"He's busy doing what? You're standing here in his clothes so he's in here. And I know him well, so I know that whatever he is 'busy' with is either eating, or being lazy. Get out of the way."
"No." The woman challenged her. For a moment Sherry considered knocking her out, it wouldn't be difficult, but choosing the nonviolent path Sherry simply moved past the girl easily. Her eyes narrowed as she ignored the female yelling 'what the hell do you think you're doing!'
Sherry walked past the mess in the living room, and straight to Jake's bedroom.
Her heart dropped like a brick into her stomach.
Her stomach felt like it was ripping through her flesh.
For a moment she thought she might gag. From the bed Jake was looking at her with a stare of confusion, shock, and anger… a faint sense of embarrassment. But Sherry was sure she was imagining that last part, she had to be, because even as he stared at her he made no move to remove himself from where he lay so silently.
"Wow," the word escaped her in a single breath as she took in his naked form on the bed with only the sheets draped around his hips. "Oh God," she murmured, looking to the girl knowingly. The betrayal started really sinking in and for a moment she thought she could hear her pulse in her ears, and then realize she was indeed hearing her pulse.
They had slept together, and Jake could only lie there, watching the emotions play out on Sherry's face like a bad movie he was stuck in. The room started spinning, unfairly, and her temples started to throb.
Why Jake? Sherry looked at the ceiling with confusion as if the answers might be there and then she looked back at Jake who had a cigarette in his hand and was pulling it to his lips cruelly, just staring at her with his smoldering eyes narrowed. He sucked and then let the smoke billow out around his face.
He had slept with this woman. He had really done it, and he was just staring at her without expression now, as if daring her to protest to it. The woman went to Jakes side, almost proudly and threw herself down on the bed as Sherry stared; only a few seconds had transpired.
"Oh my god." She murmured again and wordlessly left the room in a daze.
She heard her breath, shallow and much too loud to be normal. She walked out of the apartment wordlessly with her heart in her throat. She would vomit, she knew it, and she could feel it building up. As she escaped the apartment she saw Leon look up from his phone, his smile died on his face as he took in her green countenance and her dazed stare.
"Sherry? What's wrong?"
"We have to go," she said softly, "let's go, I want to go now. I need to get out of here." Her words were rushed and he realized with some sense of dread that she had found someone else in Jake's apartment, that stare could only hint at that, and he had heard the woman yelling in the apartment. Leon cursed sharply and almost turned around to go and give Jake a piece of his mind but Sherry collapsed before his eyes on her knees, catching herself slightly on the wall.
"Sherry!" He moved forward and picked her up easily, she protested with soft murmurs for Leon to put her down. "No, you're not in any-
"Put me down, Leon. Please put me down." She asked him gently, he did as she asked with a worried stare. Sherry weakly made her way to the elevator, "I'm not going to cry," she chanted like a prayer as he moved into the elevator with her, his stare was worried, noticing that she had yet to shed a tear. "I'm going on that mission with you. I want to get out of here. I don't ever want to see him again. Ever."
"Sherry, I don't think-
"You promised to take me," she told him, looking at him seriously in the eyes, trying so hard to have composure, but he could see the trembling of her hands and the twitching of her lips, "I need to get out of here, now. I will go back to the apartment and get my stuff, I'll send the cats to Claire if she wouldn't mind, and then I want to leave. I don't ever want to be here again. I'll ask for some vacation time and then I'll disappear for a few months."
Jake
"Who in the world was that?" The girl, whose name he still didn't know, asked as she moved closer to his side.
"Get out." He said sharply. She sat up and stared at him with confusion.
"What? Are you kidding me? Your guilty conscience is kicking in now?"
"Get out of here." He hissed at her and glared at her sharply in the eye. The girl stared at him for a few more seconds and then sharply moved off the bed with a curse and picked her clothing up off the floor. She disappeared into the bathroom and changed into her own clothing before throwing his sharply into his bedroom and leaving the apartment without another word.
Jake couldn't stop thinking about the look Sherry had given him when she entered the bedroom door. She wasn't who he had expected would open it. He had expected the girl who had been in his bed, but then there she was, her eyes were wide and stretched in confusion and mild understanding.
First he had experienced shock, he didn't know what to do but lay there, what was there to say? He had indeed had sex with the girl, he couldn't deny it. And then he wanted to go to her and ask for forgiveness, but he had simply stared at her and then dragged the cigarette to his mouth. He couldn't leave it like this.
I shouldn't be the one chasing her. She should be begging me to forgive her after what she did. Now I'm the bad guy again –he argued internally. But despite this he couldn't get the thought of going after her out of his head.
"Fuck," he sharply hissed and stood from his bed. Jake made his way to the clothing beside his bed. He would go to her.
Sherry
The entire ride back was silent she could feel Leon's worried energy projecting towards her. And try as she might she couldn't ignore her own worry about herself. She had yet to cry, she didn't feel sad. She just felt empty and shocked. Upon entering her apartment she called HQ and explained to them that she was taking a vacation. They owed her this anyway, she told them that she was no longer interested in the mission and that she would return in a few months. They expressed their anger at her short notice but she knew they wouldn't get rid of her; she was their most valuable member.
Leon watched Sherry pack while he spoke to Claire about the cats. She told him that she would take them in but expected him to explain to her exactly what was going on with Sherry as soon as he had time. He promised her that he would.
Sherry had Leon help her and within a few minutes she had packed up so many things that she was sure that they had set a record. She acknowledged in some recess of her mind that she had been packing like a mad woman.
"Are you alright?" Leon asked her when he noticed her hands shaking.
"Yes," she smiled firmly at him with tears brimming in her eyes, "I'm fine." I have to be fine. I can't let Jake in again – this will not hurt me anymore. I'm done with this… I have to be—
Ding!
Interrupting her thought processes, the door bell rang. Leon looked at her with confusion but she shrugged and ignored it. When the door bell rang again she sighed heavily and moved towards the living room. It continued going, persistently: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
"I'm coming will you relax!" She called with aggravation to whoever was at the door. She stopped before it and pulled the door open forcefully.
Jake stared back at her with a sheepish stare, but one of anger and annoyance. She looked at him with shock and then the shock gave way to impatience.
"What do you want?" Her tone was colder then they both expected and she noticed that he was glaring at her, "don't give me that look. What do you want!"
"Sherry!" Leon's voice came from behind her. Jake glanced at Leon furiously a few feet away. "What the hell are you doing here!" Leon exclaimed as he moved forward. Sherry placed a hand on his chest firmly.
"Relax yourself," Jake bit back harshly, "Sherry let me just talk to you… in private." His eyes sliced towards Leon. Leon looked to Sherry with great apprehension; she nodded knowing this would get much louder and more aggressive if Leon stayed.
"I'll call you back in when he's gone." She murmured, then she looked to Jake, "and you will be gone."
Leon nodded and cast Jake a firm glare before approaching the entrance of the apartment and leaving them in privacy. Jake stared at Sherry for a long time, trying to find the words to make her understand how he felt but not finding them in time before she started speaking.
"Let me in so we could talk," he said firmly and made a move to get into her apartment but she shoved him back with one hand angrily. "We have to talk-
"we have nothing to talk about, I'm a slut, remember?" Her harsh tone made him wince and she relished in that. "Get out of here Jake, I don't ever want to see you again." It was painful to see him.
"We can't leave it like that." His tone was just as forceful and he noticed her take a deep breath as if the words were a blow to her stomach. "Let me in so that we can talk about what you saw and what I saw-
"What you saw wasn't what you think it was. But what I saw was you naked in the bed. So get out." Sherry's eyes hardened and she noticed him casting his eyes to the back of her apartment. She frowned and looked back to see what he was looking at. She noticed the suitcases in his direct view and then she cast her eyes back to his.
"What is that?" He asked slowly. She didn't reply. He forced his way past her and into the living room, staring at the two suitcases in shock, and then he noticed the cats in travel crates. "What is this?" He repeated.
"I'm leaving, what the hell does it look like? Are you blind-
"What is this?" He repeated. His eyes grew outraged now, and almost lost, "Where are you going?"
Her anger returned, "You don't get to ask me anything. Get out of here, I don't want you here anymore and you're wasting my time-
She felt Jake's hands tightly around her wrist as he pulled her to him, one of his arms went firmly around her waist, Sherry jerked her face far from him, his scent was making her feel all warm and she didn't like it. "Its over, get off-
"You-
"Let go of me!" She shrieked angrily.
"Sherry just sit down and –
"I don't want to sit down!" She hurled at him angrily, she noticed how he balled his fists in anger at her back, "I don't want anything else to do with you, why can't you just accept that, you already have a girlfriend so why-
His eyes tensed and a dark cloud passed over his expression, "You're my-
"No I'm not." She reminded him. "Let go Jake."
He released her with a huff and glared at her as she was about to grab a pair of jeans laying on the couch to put it in one of her open suitcases, but he snatched them from her grasp and threw them across the room and out of her reach. "You asshole!"
"You're not leaving!"
"I am!" Her tone cracked and he winced as she started trembling and holding back the brimming tears, he hated when she cried, it destroyed all of his resolve, "I'm tired of this! I'm tired of having to explain myself to you at every turn because you don't believe me at all! I'm a fucking whore, a slut, and it's good that my father is dead so that he wouldn't have to see this! That's what you said! So I'm not worth it to you, you idiot!" She reminded him, she turned her back to him – or attempt to before he pulled her to him again, this time she just stiffened and looked away from him as he trying to make her face him.
"You can call me everything in the book; I'm not letting you go without fixing this."
"That's just it," she laughed, "there isn't anything to fix-
"Don't say that-
"I loved you and you threw that back in my face at every turn. There isn't any use for the truth anymore," she stressed, looking into his burning eyes, "everything's already happened." Her voice cracked and she felt the walls breaking down as she stared at her best friend in the eye.
"You can't leave." His voice sounded tight and his grip became more firm. Her feet almost didn't touch the ground anymore, "you know I care about you-
"Haha!" She laughed gently and struggled against his chest a bit, "oh it really shows, it does!"
He dropped her and caught her face firmly in his hands and stared down at her, his towering frame would usually make her shiver, and now it made her feel pained with the familiarity of it all, "I'm sorry that you saw that. I'm a fuckin' idiot. I know that." His tone weakened her resolve. "But Sherry, you can't leave me." She didn't reply to Jake as he tied his fingers into her hair lightly, "I'm sorry, Sherry."
"I'm sorry too Jake." Her eyes brimmed with tears again, "I'm so sorry that this couldn't have been what … what it should have been." His fingers unwound themselves from her hair. She turned to her clothing and sighed, closing the suit case quietly and turning back to face him. His hands were balled and his mouth was hard. "The truth of the matter is that I didn't sleep with Jeff. He was blackmailing me. And it worked because it got you to do what it was that you did." She said with a shudder, she straightened the bag on the ground and stared at him, her expression made him feel weak at the knees.
"Let go of that," he begged her and took her fingers off the bag, "You're not leaving," he said to her, "you know I won't let you."
"You have very little choice in the matter!" She stated firmly.
"Leon can't make you!"
"He's not making me! I want to go Jake!" She informed him, "I don't want to stay here with you! Every time you speak or look at me I see you naked on that bed with whoever the hell that was! I can't do this anymore!"
"Stop-
"It's done! I'm done!"
"Sherry-
"It's over Jake!" She sobbed out finally. Her eyes turned red as he came closer to her. "This is over! I am tired of being the one that is making all the effort to make this work! And today … today was…" She shivered and shrugged, "I have no words. You and I can be friends, but I think that's all. Nothing will ever be the way it once was." Her chest heaved as she struggled ot catch her breath and Jake pulled her into his chest. Holding her shaking frame tightly and burying his face into her hair.
He didn't know what to say. He had never seen her like this, and it scared the hell outo f him. He was speechless, and frightened to think that this might really be the last time he saw her. It was not possible! This could not happen this way. She was his other half, she had to know that.
"Don't go…" he whispered gently into her scalp, she shuddered in his hold. "You know how much you mean to me, I can't function without you."
There was a momentary silence and he felt elated as she relaxed in his embrace. He released her after a few second and watched her cautiously. She smiled weakly at him. "That's what I thought." She hoarsely croaked and turned to her bags.
Jake's body felt deflated, and then a numbness started spreading through him. His body felt too hot suddenly and his eyes burned with rage, she couldn't be serious. Sherry grabbed the bags and then she grabbed the cats in their crates. He watched her as if in slow motion.
He heard her saying something to Leon about putting the bags in the car. And then she turned back to the apartment and grabbed her jacket, he could see her struggling to choke back the tears. She was failing miserably.
"Are you really going to run away from us?" He growled at her.
She looked up, shocked at his tone, "I'm not running."
"You are-
"I don't want to argue with you anymore." She said, wiping her tears and looking at him seriously. "I'm done being this weak individual for you. I let my self go because of you."
He said nothing to this and looked away from her.
"I don't want you to fall apart after this Jake," her concerned voice made him scoff, "I need you to promise me that you'll take care of yourself."
"You say that like I will never see you again. You're going to come back eventually." He looked at her seriously now, and noticed the blush on her face. His eyes narrowed dangerously in her direction and he frowned, "You're coming back, you can say you won't, but you know you will."
She didn't reply and simply stuck her hand out, as if for a handshake. He looked at her hand in disgust and glared at her. She dropped it and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Goodbye Jake."
He couldn't reply as she turned and left him in the apartment.
For a long time all that Jake could do was stand there, but then he felt the burst of energy again and he ran down the stairs after her. She couldn't go. She couldn't!
When he reached the first floor Sherry was helping Leon put things in the trunk, she was wiping her eyes profusely. Leon was stoic as usual.
"Sherry!" Jake wrapped his hands around her elbow and gently tugged her to him, she was shocked and stared up at him with a look of fear that he loathed. "Please think about this-
"Jake, just stop!"
"Why are you doing this?" He asked, "You and I are one Sherry!"
"We need time apart," she begged him to see reason. "We need to be apart... we can be friends but-
"You never loved me!" He hissed angrily and shook her.
"Hey get your fucking hands off her!" Leon yelled coming to Sherry's aid with swift strides.
"Jake don't say that-
"You lied to me!" He saw red and released her with a shove. She collapsed back against Leon. Shaking her head in disbelief, Sherry watched Jake rant. "Why would you leave me if you love me? One mistake and then this is what I get!"
Sherry stared wide eyed with Leon at her side with shock. This was not Jake… this was not the man she loved so much. She found her voice in the cold, "I'm leaving you because you need to get help, you never got help for your violence, or your anger, and you have a lot of issues you need to fix Jake. Get help, I'm not going to put up with this. Forget me, forget everything, and focus on yourself."
"I don't need help." He informed her, "and you never loved me." His eyes burned with rage and she realized the white part of his eyes were pink and his face was turning red as well.
"You never loved me." Sherry whispered in reply before grabbing Leon's hand and turning to the car. They climbed in and Sherry put on her seat-belt as Leon got into the driver's side.
Jake watched as her face fell into her hand and she gave into her tears. Then the car screeched out of his vision. The anger dissipated into emptiness and confusion in Jake he stood there in the desolate darkness.
Wow that was a handful of arguing. This was by far the hardest chapter to write because I didn't know on what terms I wanted them to separate but I think I did it correctly. I wanted Jake to hear that he is indeed an individual who needs help, and I wanted Sherry to take time to build her character up to the woman she was instead of the weak character she became. I also didn't want to make Sherry finding him with another woman to be a HUGE confrontation because I just didn't think that that's the way it would logically happen. I know it happens differently for every person but I think that at that moment the full blow doesn't hit you, as much as shock and confusion.
So, NO THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY :) Yes.. there will obviously be future interactions between Jake and Sherry.
A lot of readers have told me that they've been in relationships similar to the ones portrayed in this story so I'm interested in hearing ALL of your opinions about this.
Tell me:
1) Do you think Sherry did the right thing?
2) Do you think Sherry was in an abusive relationship?
3) And do you think that this is whats best for Jake?
By the way - the reason this chapter is titled 'On My Own' is because that was the main song I listened to while listening to this song - it's by Three Days Grace (for those of you who know the band, how shocked were you when you heard Adam left the band?!) And also I listened to 'It's All Over' by the same band.
****If you've heard the song, here's a bonus question (I like hearing your thoughts! Sue me!) - In what way does 'On My Own ' apply to BOTH characters?