JJ slowly opened the door of the spare room with one hand as she carried a plate with a few pieces of buttered toast on it. "Hey, Spence" JJ said as she walked closer and gave him a warm smile. "I brought you something to eat" She added as she bent down to his eye line to offer it to him.

"Huh?" He mumbled as his eyes searched for her in the gloomy room.

"Food" JJ simplified for him and gently pushed a strand of hair out of his face.

"Where am I?" He asked sleepily as he pushed his body upwards so he was sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

"It's ok Reid" Garcia said and jumped towards him, treating him almost like a sick child. "You're at JJ's house… Why don't you try and eat something" She explained as she gently rubbed his back.

Reid continued to rub his eyes for a few more seconds then slowly reached for a piece of toast and took the smallest of bites. He looked up at the women with concerned faces and frowned. "What's wrong?" He asked nervously.

"Don't you remember?" JJ asked, concern obvious in her voice now as well as her face.

"Remember what?" He asked and returned the piece of toast to the plate.

JJ opened her mouth to explain but Garcia interrupted her. "You don't need to know right now, it's not important" She said as she continued to soothingly rubbed his back.

"When did I get here?" Reid asked and rubbed his eyes again.

"Yesterday morning" JJ answered with a warm smile as she gently placed the plate on the bedside table.

"You've been sleeping since then" Garcia said with a little smile.

"Can I get up?" He asked as he fidgeted under the covers.

"Sure… I got your go bag from your car, I think Morgan left it in the living room" JJ said as she looked round for the bag.

"Morgan? Is he here?" Reid asked as he struggled to get up on shaky legs.

"He went to see Hotch… He should be back soon" JJ replied and reached for his arm to help him up.

"Try and take it slow" Garcia said quietly as she took his other arm and helped him to his feet.

"What happened to me?" Reid asked as he stretched his stiff and aching body.

"It's not important" Garcia repeated as she and JJ slowly let go of his arms for him to stand on his own.

"Can I get a glass of water?" Reid asked and looked to JJ for the answer.

"Sure, I'll go get your go bag and Garcia can help you to the kitchen she said with a warm smile then opened the door and led the way out. JJ split from the other two when she reached the living room door, Reid continued into the kitchen with Garcia close behind him.

Reid quickly opened the overhead cupboard, pulled out a small glass, closed the cupboard and filled the glass with water. He took a small sip and slowly swallowed the water down his dry throat.

"So, you don't remember anything?" Garcia asked as she looked thoughtfully at him.

Reid took another sip then shook his head. "Not a thing" He said and gave an awkward half smile.

"Do you remember what happened to Emily?" Garcia asked nervously, she wasn't sure how she'd explain to him after all that had happened.

"Yeah…" He answered, his voice was barely above a whisper and his eyes began studying the floor as he took another sip.

"I got your clothes" JJ said as she walked into the kitchen and handed Reid the bag. "You can change in the spare room, if you'd like" She added with the warmest smile she could manage.

Reid nodded, took the bag and went back into the spare room, closing the door behind him.

"What did he say?" JJ whispered to Garcia.

"He doesn't remember anything" Garcia whispered the reply.

"What about Emily?" JJ asked.

"No, he remembers that" Garcia replied with a sigh and adjusted her glasses. "How could he just forget about it?" Garcia asked, obviously upset despite her colourful clothing she hid behind.

"Stress can do strange things to people… He'll probably remember in the next few days" She added quietly and pushed some hair out of her face.

There was a small pause as JJ's words sunk in then Garcia sighed. "When did Morgan say he'd come back?"

"He should be here in a half hour, tops. I don't know how he's gonna explain this to Hotch though…" JJ said and rubbed her eyes like she was exhausted.

"This is all such a mess" Garcia added as she leant against the kitchen counter top and picked at her fingernails.

"Hey" Reid said with another awkward smile as he walked into the kitchen in clean clothes. He hadn't put much thought into the clothes but he still looked okay, he was wearing black slacks hiding his mismatching socks, a whiter than white shirt with a grey sweater pulled over the top.

"Hey, Spence" JJ said with the best smile she could manage.

"I need to talk to Morgan" He said quietly as he glanced from the floor, to JJ, then Garcia, then back to the floor.

"Sure, he'll be back soon" Garcia replied warmly.

"You know about what happened, don't you?" Reid asked, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. JJ closed her eyes for a second longer than a blink and Garcia had to catch her breath as they realised he'd remembered much sooner than they'd hoped.

JJ slowly nodded and whispered "Yeah"

"Did you check your voicemails?" Reid asked, obviously ashamed of what he'd done.

JJ felt tears pricking at her eyes but she forced them down again. She could still feel the lump in her throat so decided just to nod, showing Reid how upset she was would only make him worse.

"I'm sorry" Reid managed to choke out as he roughly rubbed his cheek. His head was hung so low neither JJ nor Garcia could see his face but they knew he had started crying and was trying his best to hide it. "I didn't mean for this to happen" He whispered.

"It's alright, Reid" Garcia whispered as she pulled him closer into a hug. Reid wrapped his arms around her tightly and clung as hard as he could to her, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stand without her support. Garcia rubbed her hand soothing up and down his back and hushed his crying while JJ stood and watched on.

This was her fault. Now it wasn't just Reid that was hurt, JJ could see Garcia's eyes filling with tears as she fought her hardest to keep them down so she could comfort Reid. This could have all been over so quickly, she could have explained everything in the hospital and none of this would have happened. Reid wouldn't have put the gun to his head, Garcia wouldn't have to hide behind her cheerful exterior, Morgan wouldn't burst out crying when he thought no one could hear him.

All this pain was her doing, her decision. She was making her family suffer when she could easily have chosen different words, different choices. She roughly rubbed a tear from her cheek and thought bitterly that it should have been her with the gun, not Reid.