A/N: I apologize for this taking such a long time. Multiple facets of real life got in my way but here is Chapter 4! Hope you enjoy! (Let me know if anything looks wonky, I'm using a system I'm not used to so I may have missed some things.)

It took Paige three days to get over the initial shock of Dani kissing her. It proved difficult for Paige to wrap her head around. Not only did the girl that she liked, like her back, but that very same girl kiss her. Kissed her.

Of course, all this was marred by the fact that Emily was still someone she spent far too long thinking about given she was dating Maya and was so clearly not into Paige. But was it fair of Paige to even be considering a relationship with Dani when she still felt so strongly about Emily? In some twisted way, it felt like she was almost cheating on Emily. The very idea of that made her laugh, she acknowledged it was ludicrous and something she definitely needed to get over. Also huge on her mind was the fact that Dani was a girl. The very thought of Paige actually considering starting a relationship with Dani seemed wrong. But the main trouble Paige was running into was that it felt so right.

Paige had been thinking about all that was going on non-stop ever since Dani had left that night. It entire situation was muddled in her head. She didn't know if she should leap for joy because of Dani or run for the hills. Was she thinking about herself too much in this situation or was this a time where it was acceptable to do what she wanted to? Her father would not approve, never approve, that much she knew without having to overthink anything. Her main concern at this point was whether or not she could knowingly and willingly go against her father's wishes as well as the teachings from the church. Where she was running into a brick wall was regarding the words Pastor John had said to her on one of her visits, "God does not make mistakes." He had said, answering one of her questions from a previous visit. Sometimes things don't seem like they make sense or should have occurred in the way that they did, but there is a plan for everyone and the "amazing and truly remarkable thing about God is that when you stray off the path, He allows you to find your way back. That's how you build faith. You ask questions and you find your own truths."

Before she was even aware, "Find your own truth" had become her motto.

That first month continued on much in the same way that the summer had. Paige knew there were some very in-depth conversations that she needed to have both with herself as well as other people. But she was trying to live her life at that moment according to what Pastor John has told her, she needed to find her own truth and learn to accept it and own that part of her being.

"I am human," she told herself as she dressed and looked in the mirror before school. "I make mistakes but I am not a mistake." She sighed and pulled a brush through her hair, she needed to talk to Dani.

It wasn't difficult to find Dani that morning, it was difficult, however, to find time when Dani was alone. Paige managed to catch her before lunch, "Hey, Dani. Do you think we can talk soon?"

Dani looked at her, trying to read her intent before she replied, "Sure, can we do it after practice today? I need to talk to Mr. Fitz about this project we're supposed to be starting on."

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'll see you after practice."

They parted ways and Paige headed to the courtyard, she needed to think further and it was still nice enough outside that she planned on making the most out of the weather while it lasted.

Her tracks stopped suddenly when she saw Emily and Maya sitting very close to each other. They were laughing, hushed, as if sharing a secret only they were privy to. Paige swallowed the biting taste of unease and jealousy that arose.

Emily looked up and caught Paige's gaze, Paige tried to avert her eyes, to no avail. She focused on keeping her expression neutral but there was something about Maya that she couldn't stand. Rationally she knew it mostly was because Maya was pretty, engaging and so clearly with Emily. Mainly though, Paige couldn't stand the way Maya looked at her and smiled, almost tauntingly. Hold yourself together, Paige. She tried to reason with herself. You're crazy. Maya is just being nice.
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Paige smiled widely, "Emily! How are you doing? Maya." She nodded. She silently thanked all the years where she had to pretend to be a happy, well-adjusted child in front of her father's company, it was coming in handy now.

Paige revelled in the slightly confused expression that crossed Emily's face. "I'm doing pretty well," Paige didn't notice how Emily's hand tightened in Maya's, almost as if daring Paige to say anything. "How about you?"

There was a slight bite to Emily's tone that Paige ignored, "Not bad, can't complain much. Swimming. School. Friends. You know how it goes."

"Right," Emily looked like she wanted to say something more but she refrained.

"Well, I need to go eat lunch, see you around, Emily. Maya." Paige turned to leave and then paused, "We should hang out sometime, Em, catch up. A lot has happened in the past year. Let bygones be bygones and all. Who knows, I might even be fast enough to beat you this year." Paige smiled and waved at the two of them. "Have a good rest of your day." She walked back into the lunchroom, she felt immediately warmer, the cold treatment she received seeping from her body. So much for spending some nice time outside alone.

Swim practice after school showcased one of the best times that Paige had ever had. "Looking good out there McCullers!" The coach yelled at her when she pulled herself out of the water.

"Thanks," she beamed. She felt good, all thoughts of previous troubles gone for the moment. She caught Dani's gaze and the smile fell from her face, there were still things she needed to do. "Let me shower," she mouthed to Dani who nodded and then winked. Paige colored.

After her shower, Paige found Dani leaning against her locker. Dani's eyes raised when she noticed that Paige was clothed in just a towel. Paige shrugged, "Left my clothes in here."

Dani hmmed, "Lucky me."

Paige swatted at her, "Perv."

"Appreciative," Dani corrected.

Paige laughed, "You're ridiculous!"

Dani feigned, "You've wounded me," she paused, "I'll wait by the door."

"Thanks, Dani."

"Sure."

Paige hurried and got dressed, it wasn't a conversation that was going to be fun necessarily, but it needed to happen. She headed toward the door and couldn't help but smile when she saw Dani playing with a small bouncy ball, throwing it against the wall and catching it.

"Just when I think I have you figured out, you surprise me."

Dani caught the ball and looked up, the light from overhead somehow managed to brighten her face in a way that was intriguing. "Have to keep people on their toes."

Paige hoisted her bag further onto her shoulder, "You ready?"

"Yep, let's boogey."

They took a slow, meandering walk in the park and stopped to sit on the swings. Paige cleared her throat, "So." Dani nodded for her to continue. "I've been doing a lot of thinking recently, which you well know. And I've come to some conclusions, but I'm also at a loss for some other questions, and some of these involve you."

Dani watched her closely, "Okay. Where would you like to start?"

"You kissed me." Paige couldn't hold it back.

"Yes," Dani said, "I did."

"Why?"

"Because I like you," Dani shrugged.

"Can it really be that simple? Liking someone and then kissing them?"

"Does it have to be more complicated than that?"

Paige sighed and looked at Dani, "According to my mind, yes."

"Okay, answer me this, Paige. What is it that's confusing you or complicating things? Pretend I'm not me and I'm just your best friend who is here to offer advice, okay?"

"But what if it hurts you?" Paige worried her lip.

"I'm a big girl," Dani smiled. "I just want to make sure you're feeling alright."

"See! That's what makes this so hard, you're so wonderful."

Dani laughed, "Well I'll take that as a compliment then."

Paige wrung her hands, " So I have this dilemma, I like you." She paused as if registering that words for the first time, she smiled briefly then frowned, "But I also still like Emily, have for a while. And I don't know what to do. Clearly Emily is with Maya right now, but that's not the reason why I should try things with you, I know that. I want to make sure I'm doing everything for the right reason and with what is best for everyone."

Dani watched her carefully, digesting her words, "As much as it kills me to say it, you need to do what's best for you, not anyone else. You'll be happier in the long run."

Paige sighed and twisted the swing so she could see Dani, "You're kind of amazing, you know that?"

Dani shrugged, "It's been mentioned before…" She paused, "I'm not going to try and tell you what to do or who you should choose. That is your decision and I'm going to respect that. But if you do want to talk about any of this, I am here, okay?"

Paige stood up from the swing and crossed in front of Dani, "Thank you," Paige leaned in and kissed Dani on the cheek, she hesitated while pulling back. Her eyes flicked down to Dani's lips, she leaned forward, mind made up, and caught Dani's lips with hers. She had to fight to keep from melting into Dani. She pulled back and opened her eyes.

Dani was still leaning forward, eyes closed, "Wow." Her eyes opened slowly, "So, what does that mean?"

"It means," Paige shuffled and pushed her hair behind her ear, "It means that I want to try this. I'm not going to promise that I won't freak out, but I'm going to try and do my best."

For the first time in a long while, Paige could breathe. She and Dani weren't dating publically just yet because Paige was still trying to work through it all. The fact that she was deliberately going against what her father would want was almost exhilarating, but at the same time it was also horrifying when she began to think about what the possible ramifications of her actions could be.

It wasn't that she didn't respect her father, though maybe he would see it differently, it was because she respected him that she couldn't let him dictate her life completely. Maybe if he could see how she was able to make well thought out decisions, even if he didn't quite agree with them, maybe then he would see her as his daughter on the edge of adulthood, and how that wasn't a bad thing. In fact, most parents would be glad their child wasn't a complete fuck-up. He probably wouldn't see it that way.

Paige sighed and turned to Dani who was laying on her bed, book in hand. She looked up, "Penny for your thoughts?"

Paige leaned back so her legs were hanging off the bed and situated her head in Dani's lap, "Just thinking."

Dani put the book down, "That was a pretty hefty sigh for 'just' anything." She ran her fingers through Paige's hair, "What's going on, Paige?"

Paige sighed again and burrowed her head into Dani's jean-clad thigh, "Can we not talk about it right now? I just want to enjoy my time with you without any of that silly stuff."

"If you're sure. I just want you to know that you're welcome to share any of that 'silly' stuff anytime. That's what I'm here for."

Paige laughed, "And here I thought it was because you like kissing me."

"Well yes, that too. But I like your brain too."

"Yeah?" Paige moved up the bed and straddled Dani, "Tell me more."

Dani grinned and pulled Paige close, "I'd rather not," she said as she closed the distance between them.

They kissed for a while before Paige pulled back, eyes wide, "Did you hear that?"

Dani looked at the closed bedroom door, "Was that?"

Another knock.

"Just a minute, Dad!" Paige reached for a book, any book, from her nightstand. "Oof!" She leaned too far and tumbled to the ground, book firmly in hand.

Dani started laughing, "Oh, hi, Mr. McCullers. How are you doing?"

"Dani, is there a reason why my daughter is on the ground?"

Dani wracked her brain, "I think she reached a funny part of her book. One minute she was sitting on the best, the next…"

A small smile graced his face, "And what book is that?"

Paige lifted the book she had grabbed and her eyes widened in horror.

"Old Yeller?" He looked at Paige, "Now Paige, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt in saying you weren't actually laughing at the book."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, I have something I need to talk to you privately about."

"Oh," Dani made move to leave. "Should I—"

"No, no. We'll go to the study and you can keep reading…Matilda."

"Thanks, Mr. McCullers, it's Classic Book Day."

He shook his head, "Kids." He walked to the door, "Come on, Paige."

She followed him down the stairs and into the study she sat on one of the chairs as he closed the door behind her. He sat down. "It has come to my attention, Paige, that Emily Fields, a girl whom you considered a friend, is dating a girl and acting in a deviant lifestyle."

Paige barely kept her jaw from dropping. What?

He continued, "As such, I do not want you to see her or speak to her. Not a word. She is sinning bleightently for all the world to see and I do not want you experiencing that."

"Why? Are you afraid she will turn me gay if we're friends?" Too late for that, Dad. She gathered her courage, "I don't see what's wrong with being gay, Father. Please explain to me how it is so wrong."

"You've been neglecting your Bible." His voice was calm, almost detached.

"No, I've read it. Multiple times. I meet with Pastor John at least three times a month. I know the Bible, Father, and Jesus loved everyone, so I will too."

His teeth clenched and he looked hard at her, "You are forbidden to talk to Emily again."

Paige sighed and nodded slowly, this wasn't an argument she could win right now. She needed to regroup and have a discussion with him again. "I understand. But I still have to see her at school and on swim team. I can't really ignore her."

"You will try."

"Yes, Father."

With that, paige go up from the chair and left the study, closing the door behind her. She trudged up the stairs and stood in the doorway looking into her room. She paused and took in the sight. Mind made up she entered the room and closed the door behind her. She crossed the room to the bed and climbed on top of it. She took the book from Dani's hands, "Hi."

"Hi yourself."

Paige leaned forward and kissed Dani. She pulled back. "I don't want to talk about it yet, can we just kiss instead?"

"Sure, whatever you want." Dani pulled Paige down and flipped them over, she could try to help Paige forget in the meantime, but in the morning, they really needed to talk.

Dani was waiting outside the school with two cups in her hands when Paige finally biked up. Dani had stayed as long as Paige's father would allow on a school night before heading back home. She extended the cup to Paige, "It's peppermint tea."

"Thanks," Paige leaned over and kissed Dani's cheek, taking the offered cup.

"How was your night? You know, after I left."

Paige sipped the drink. "It wasn't that bad, I did a lot of thinking."

"Yeah? About what your dad said, or?" Dani was fishing and she knew it.

"Look," Paige sighed and sat down on a bench, patting the place next to her for Dani to sit. "Last night my dad told me that he had found out about Emily being gay. And he forbid me from having any 'unnecessary' interactions with her."

"Oh." Dani stared at the lid of her drink.

"Oh? Do you know what this means, Dani?" Paige could feel herself start to shake. "This means that if, God forbid, he finds out about us, I'll never be able to see you again."

Dani looked up and caught Paige's eye, "So what about us then?"

"I—I don't know."

"Okay." Dani blinked fast, clearing her head. "I'm going to go to class but I'll see you later, right?" She kissed Paige on the top of her head and tried not to wince when she hear Paige's distant and delayed response.

"Emily!" Paige called after the girl before she entered the cafeteria.

Emily turned around, a surprised look on her face, "Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you for a couple minutes?"

Emily glanced into the cafeteria and Paige could just imagine her mouthing to her her friends that she would be right there and not to worry. "Sure, lead the way."

They settled onto a bench outside the library.

"So," Paige started, "I just wanted to warn you that my father found out about you and Maya." At the look on Emily's face, Paige quickly clarified, "I didn't tell him. And I just wanted to give you fair warning that he might get nasty because of that."

Emily looked at her before speaking, "Why do you care?"

Paige couldn't help but scoff, "Why do I care? Are you kidding?"

Emily shrugged.

Paige had to bite the inside of her cheek before she gathered enough strength to respond, "You were my best friend, Emily. Do you think I make friends easily? Especially at that time in my life?" Paige hesitated before continuing, "Even after you ditched me for your new friends I still thought that someday we might be able to be actual friends again, I tried to be your friend. But it seems like nothing will please you, no matter the amends I've tried to make. "Paige deliberately didn't mention Ali's name, the last time she had, Emily didn't speak to her in over three months.

"What is it that you're really afraid of Paige? Are you actually worried about me or are you more worried that I could tell your father he needs to look a little closer to home at his own daughter."

Paige gaped at her, "Jesus, Emily. What did I ever do to you? What could make you hate me so much and talk to me this way?"

"Before she disappeared, Ali told me some things. And then Maya found some notebooks of Ali's and they painted quite a picture of how you treated her."

In that moment, Paige couldn't stand Emily. "How I treated her? Are you kidding me? You may be living in a rosy state of denial, Emily, but more people didn't like Ali. She wasn't a good person. My father told me I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, in fact it's common courtesy, but hey, I'm already breaking his no 'alternative' lifestyle rule, so why not? I didn't like Ali. I didn't like how she treated people and I certainly didn't like how she treated you. I watched you pine after her for such a long time even after she was gone. And all the time you were thinking about her, you had no idea what she had done or said to other people."

The vein in Emily's neck throbbed, "You're just jealous of Ali because you liked me and you couldn't bear to see someone else being my friend."

Paige clenched her fists and breathed slowly through her nose. "She strung you along, Emily. Tell me in what world was that preferable?"

Emily was silent for a while before speaking again, "I'm with Maya now so this shouldn't even matter."

"And I'm with Dani. But we both know it does matter Emily. All of that crap that happened, it doesn't just dissipate. We have to think about why it does still matter. It's only fair to everyone involved. You may hate me, or whatever, but I don't hate you, and I don't think I ever could or will." With that, Paige stood and left Emily still sitting there. She needed to see Dani.