YOU FOUND ME WITH YOUR FAITH IN ME
Sorry for not updating when I promised, but I was called in to work in order to work on a robbery case. Please accept my apologies, and I hope you enjoy the final part of the story. I was asked to make more of the story to close it out, but I think it is okay the way it is. Let me know if I should add a last chapter. I will also be finishing up "My Biggest Mistake"soon to all those who read it and subscribe the next chapter will be up hopefully by Friday if all goes well. But we all know the best laid plans of mice and men the show is living proof of that.
Adrian looked out on the night sky and let her body feel the cold breeze of the night sky and began to sink into the despair she had been holding inside herself for so long. Even though she was engaged to Omar, she never wanted to admit she didn't love him. She thought because he appeared to be a nice guy, and the sex was good that if they had a child she could be happy, but now she knew she was lying to herself. She thought that if she could get Ricky back it would stop her from feeling what she had put aside in Dr. Otavi's office, her love for Ben.
She knew it was wrong, but he didn't want her anymore, and Dr. Otavi was right she and Ben were only together because they made the best of a bad situation. Or at least that is what she would tell herself and force herself to believe. But that is not what made her sleep with Ben that night in the car, nor was it just for revenge. It was also not that, or revenge that made her say yes to Ben when he proposed, nor was it his money, or the fact she was carrying his child. She was in love with the man, Ben was, and would one day become. The reason why she chose to keep her baby in the first place was because of him. She could not deny a child with someone she so cared for and admired to die simply because of her selfish desires.
She could also not deny when ever she thought of Ben it was always of kindness, and love. He was the one person who she trusted above all others, and the one person who always saw the best in her. Even when they argued over the nursery she knew it was only out of anger, and the fact that he humiliated himself was proof of that, Ben was always one who let his guilt get the best of him, it was one of the many things that made her admire him now she might lose him forever. "
She hated herself for not approaching Ben all those years ago when she saw him looking at her from across the hall, but she let herself be captivated by a pretty face as always when Ricky approached her. Ben was the first and only geek Adrian actually held interest in. She may have slept with Henry, but that was the worst mistake she had ever made, and it disgusted her every time she thought about it, and how she hurt Ben. All because of a kiss she needed to have from a man that never loved her or respected her, Adrian doubted if Ricky cared for her at all.
Whenever she needed him Ricky was never there even though she was always there for him. But whenever she needed someone only Ben Boykewich was there for her, no matter what the situation. "Why did I have to fall for the wrong guy before I fell for the right one?", she asked herself as she stepped closely to the edge of the building. "Why did I have to lose you, Mercy? She asked. "I would have made you a great mom, and I promise I would have been a great wife to Ben if you had lived. I would have built my world around the both of you, I guess that's why I fell apart when I lost you.
"Now, I'm losing him too." GOD WHY!" she screamed a she stepped on the ledge. "I have never asked you for anything, and you have always taken from me. You gave me Antonio only to take him away. You gave me Mercy, only to take her away. You gave me Ben,... And now you're taking him from me too..." she yelled. "I gave him up so you wouldn't have to take him from me, and now you still want to take him. Did I piss you off that much." she said to the wind. "Well if you take him, then I'll give you me she said. I'll have my family one way or another..." she whispered to herself.
BEN'S POINT OF VIEW. (STANDING BESIDE MARSHALL BOWMAN ON A CLIFF)
Dr. Bowman, what the hell is she doing!" Ben yelled as he saw Adrian standing too close to the edge of the building. "You're not the only one who was feeling pain Ben?" Marshall Bowman said. "Adrian is in just as much pain as you are, she just hides it a lot better than you." he said looking at the young man. "But, she has it all, she was with Omar, and they were engaged..." Ben stammered.
"Ben, just because Adrian was going to marry Omar, doesn't mean she loved him. Adrian latched on to Omar the same way you latched on too Dylan. She didn't know how to hold on to you and you didn't know how to hold on to her, so you both did what you thought was best and let go. But, when two people really love each other and they are in pain because it hurts to be together, that is when they should hold to one another the tightest. You and Adrian are young, and ignorant of love, and you don't know that.
"But Dr. Bowman she is going to kill herself," Ben yelled I have to help her he, tell me how to go to her!, he said. "Ben if you go now you might be the one who dies" Dr. Bowman insisted. "This is a leap of faith Ben, and if you try to save Adrian you risk dying yourself, and I have to tell you dying is not something you can adapt to. I know this for a fact." he said trying to dissuade the young man. Dr. Bowman I don't care!" he yelled. "Adrian needs me, and I promised her that I would ALWAYS, ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER NO MATTER WHAT, and this is WHAT." he said with true conviction in his voice.
"Ben, are you sure about this? If you do this the implications on you could be disastrous." Dr. Bowman informed him. "If you go you might, save Adrian and Damn yourself. Are your really ready to risk all of that on her?" he questioned. "This is a LEAP OF FAITH, Ben. But doubt, confusion, anger., guilt and hatred are also in the mix. If you leap from this cliff you will need your faith to pull you up, but if you have any of those feelings, they will pull you down into the ocean, and if you drown you die. Ben, do you have that faith in yourself to make such a leap? Dr. Bowman questioned.
"Dr. Bowman" Ben said looking at him finally as a man. "You told me that this was a leap of faith right. Well I don't have faith in myself. I don't have faith in love. I don't have faith in people, or even in God. But I do have faith in Adrian, and I won't let her take her life." he said with such feeling, and conviction Marshall Bowman could not believe that Ben was still the same man who didn't want to jump only a moment ago.
"But Ben, what about, your family, friends, and Amy." Dr. Bowman still questioned. "My dad has Camille and he has Chloe, and he even has Ricky. Amy has John and Ricky. My friends have each other. All Adrian has ever really been able to count on is me, and I owe it to her, my daughter, and myself to help her." he said with passion. " But, why Ben is she truly that important to you, to risk your own life?" Dr. Bowman asked.
"I didn't realize until now, but without her, there is no life." Ben said. When I was with Adrian I realized I could live without Amy, and John, my friends, and even my Dad. But even when we broke up, I realized I can't live without her. So even if I did survive, I would still come back to this place, because she would be here." he said finally realizing it was not Amy, Dylan, or someone else he wanted but Adrian. He realized that four years ago when he saw her leaning against her locker talking to Ricky, that she was the one he wanted.
"If that is how you truly feel Ben, then I won't stop you. I only wish I would have been able to come to your realization along time ago," he said before stepping out of Ben;s way as he stepped to the edge of the cliff. "But Ben before you go do me a favor tell my Goldilocks, I'm sorry I turned out to be the "Big Bad Wolf" who ate the knight in shining armor and took his place. Make sure you tell her exactly like that, she will know it came from me." he said. "I will Dr. Bowman, and thank you for all your help" Ben told him as he looked down at the large jump that lay before him as the waves crashed against the rocks of the cliff. "Thank you Ben for yours, said Dr. Bowman as he was surrounded by a cloud of white light.
As Ben looked down at the waves he thought of Adrian looking down at the ground beneath the hospital and he jumped. He glided for only a moment before he began to fall and felt the cold sharp icy water on his body. He could feel the sharp waves crash against his face, then fill his mouth, and lungs. As he felt this he looked and said "God, don't let me die like this please let me save her. It was then that a young latino boy appeared and reached his hand out to Ben. Ben quickly grabbed his hand and was pulled free of the waters cold grip. "Who are you, and why are you helping me?" Ben asked. "We have someone in common, and we both want the same thing. I can't help her but you can", he replied.
"You're Antonio aren't you? Ben questioned. "SI, now you need to go to Adrian you can't fly but I can, and I will give you a lift. Ben felt the young man's hand around his wrist as they glided into the air. He was lifted from the place where he was which seemed to be an island trapped within the sea of the clouds. As he looked down the island disappeared and he found himself hovering over the earth, then he was over America, and flying over the sea toward Glenn Valley, and then over the hospital as he saw a crying Adrian at the edge of the hospital roof. "Now, do what I cannot Amigo, Antonio said he set Ben gently on the roof. Save her, and love her." before he disappeared
Adrian steps to the ledge and is about to jump when Ben grabs her from behind. Shocking her as she turns to see him standing behind her, after only seeing him hours before barely clinging to life when he was brought in on a gurney.
I found God on the corner of First in Amistad
Where the west was all but one.
All alone,
Smoking his last cigarette,
I said "where you been?"
He said, "ask anything"
"Ben, what, how are you here, you should be in the hospital." Adrian stammers as she stares at him in bewilderment. "I am in the hospital, but I needed to make sure you were alright first.
I found God on the corner of First in Amistad
Where the west was all but one.
All alone,
Smoking his last cigarette,
I said "where you been?"
He said, "ask anything"
"Are you alright Adrian? he asked. "No, I'm not. I have made a mess of my life and yours and everyone else's and it would be better if I just end it al."l she whimpers.
Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days,
Spent by the telephone.
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
From the corner of First and Amistad
"And here it was I thought you were going to do this to be close to me," he says with a grin. "I was Ben, but you are here and you are all right, so just let me go." she pleads.
[Chorus]
Lost and insecure,
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor,
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
"Sorry, I can't do that because I made a very big sacrifice because I can't let you go Adrian. You are one of the only people in this world, that no matter how hard I try I can never let you go." he said looking at her and with a tear falling.
In the end,
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her,
The only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not,and who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me
"I have been apart of you since the day I laid eyes on you when I was fifteen and saw you staring at Ricky. I let myself be infatuated with Amy because I never thought I could have you. Don't you realize that it wasn't just revenge that made me sleep with you that night, and when I said I love you I meant it. I just never knew how much." Ben said staring at her.
[Chorus]
Early morning,
City breaks
I've been calling
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all our love.
"Ben, I'm no good for you all I have ever done is mess things up for you, Amy, Ricky, and even Mercy. she replied. "Adrian we messed ourselves up, when we lost Mercy. When she died it hurt so much to see you in pain and it reminded me of how I weak I was, and how I couldn't save her, he said. "Our daughter would have looked exactly like you, and I know because I have seen her." he replied. "You saw her," Adrian said in shock. "Yes, and she is every bit as beautiful, and kind as we thought she would be." Ben said as his eyes swelled remembering his little girl.
Lost and insecure,
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor,
Where were you? Where were you?
"But Ben, I broke your heart, and hurt you by getting rid of the nursery, ending our marriage because of my infatuation with Ricky, and sleeping with your best friend." Adrian yelled. "Adrian you healed my heart, and you had every right to break it for what I said to you in the nursery. I was your husband it was my job to have faith in our love, but I lost it because, I blamed myself, I blamed you, I blamed all of our mistakes on that night. But the truth is we didn't sleep together that night because Ricky and Amy kissed. We slept togehter because we wanted each other." I have never been able to talk to, or feel about anyone the way I have with you." "And no matter how hard I try to fight it, or forget it you are the only person in this world I can never be without" he said.
[Chorus]
Why'd you have to wait,
To find me?
To find me?
"But Ben, how can we come back to one another after all we have been through, she asked and her hand tightened around his wrist. "By having faith, and hope. By remembering that our daughter was concieved for a reason, and that reason just wasn't because of a broken condom, and faulty birth control. That reason was we mean more to each other than either of us have ever let ourselves feel. And we need to stop feeling guilty about betraying two people who never meant as much us, or we meant to them, as we mean to each other." he said pulling her towards the roof.
Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days,
Spent by the telephone.
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
From the corner of First and Amistad
"How do I know that you are not just saying this so, I won't jump?" Adrian asked. "By having as much faith in me not to jump, as I had to have in you to jump and be here with you." Ben replied. "I love you Adrian, and I have literally given up heaven for you. I would never do that for Amy, my family, or even myself, but I did do it for you. Ben said as he pulled Adrian to him firmly planting her feet on the roof of the building and embracing her.
[Chorus]
Lost and insecure,
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor,
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Adrian felt Ben against her and leaned her ear against his chest and was shocked she could not hear the strong heart that beat beneath it. Ben I can't hear your heartbeat she yelled. "I think you have to have a body to have a heartbeat, and I am all spirit. he said grinning. "How are you here with me like this Ben Boykewich, she said staring up at him. "Because I said I would always be there for you no matter what, and this is WHAT", he said as he kissed her.
In the end,
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her,
The only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not,and who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me
Adrian felt his warmly, and accepted it, then as she opened her eyes she found herself alone on the roof, embracing only the wind as Ricky touched her shoulder. "Adrian are you okay? he asked. "We got worried when you didn't come to the chapel to pray, and your parents' asked me to find you. "Yeah, I'm okay Ricky, she said looking at him and remembering what had just happened. She knew it had to be real, because she never felt so confident or loved in all her life than she did at that moment.
"Adrian before we go back in. Ricky said as Amy joined them. We want to apologize for all that has happened between you, us, and Ben. "Amy and I pulled you and Ben into the drama that we started at Band Camp, and instead of competing against you, and using the both of you. We should have just been honest with you, and tried to be friends. But, I guess I was jealous of the relationship Ben had with you because he was the one thing with you he could never be with me" Amy said. "What" Adrian said confused. "He was happy, Adrian, and he told me. And in all the time we were together, he never once said that to me. Amy said crying.
"And Adrian I'm sorry for how I treated you, and took advantage of my relationship with you, and my friendship with Ben." Ricky chimed in. "And I am truly sorry for how I just avoided you when you lost your daughter." "You were always there for me when I needed you, and even more when I had John, but I'm weaker than Ben, I guess. Ricky replied "I didn't have the courage to see you broken when your daughter died. Because I didn't know how to fix you. "I'm used to breaking things, not fixing them, that's Ben's job, and I should have been there for both of you because Amy, and I both owe the changes we have made, and the family we have to you and Ben", he said crying.
"And I'm sorry Adrian, for just letting you, and he suffer like that, when I knew that you both loved each other. "I guess I was like Amy, and I resented Ben were making you happy, when I ony made you sad. But I promise I never wanted you two to break up, and I never, ever wanted your daughte to die, or for Ben to, too... be in the condition he is now. Amy then took him into her arms as her fiancee cried for his best friend. "Don't worry Ricky, Adrian said rubbing his back, my Benni isn't going anywhere." she said.
Adrian, Amy, and Ricky then all walked back into the hospital where Leo, informed them that Ben was now out of surgery but had lost a lot of blood. He also suffered from a collapsed lung, and two broken ribs, and a fractured shoulder. Those injuries were superficial compared to the concussion he recieved when his head hit the steering wheel. Dr. Shakur Ricky's dad assured Leo he would monitor Ben's situation, but unless Ben woke up within the next twelve hours he was worried, Ben would slip into a coma and suffer brain loss.
Everyone was taking turns visiting him, including Dylan, and her friends who all apologized for their part in Ben's experiment with marjuana. Her father apologizd personally to Ben as he lay unconscious on his bed. Dylan kissed him on his head and said. "I'm sorry Ben for what I did to you, I should have never tried to date, you. You were not ready to be with anyone, especially when we both know that you still love your wife.
As Adrian was going toward Ben's room, she was stopped by Ethan who pulled her aside. "Adrian you should know the reason, Dylan was so upset with Ben was because she found his computer and opened his journal. Adrian, Ben has nothing on his mind or on his computer, but how he regrets losing you and not being able to save your marriage." "He even wrote that he was using Dylan, and his feelings for Amy as a way to distract himself from what he really felt." "It's weird, Ben loves you so much he was actually willing to ruin his own life, to make sure you were happy with Omar." he said confused.
"What is it?" Adrian asked Ethan as he look bewildered by Ben. "How can Ben, love you so much he is willing to do all that?" he asked her and himself. "I thought that I loved Cathy, but I couldn't even stay faithful to her when she went to see her old boyfriend, but he was willing to let you marry another guy even though it was killing him inside. Why would he do that?" he asked. "Because Ben is selfless, and he doesn't want to hurt others, when hurting himself is so much easier, she said with a tear.
"Adrian if you want to come in and see him, its okay." Leo said as he stepped from Ben's bedside with tears streaming from his face. Camille was in the same state along side Chloe, as they left Ben's side. "I would really enjoy that Mr. Boykewich Adrian said as she approached his room. "Are you sure you're ready to see him like that meha," Reuben said as he rubbed Adrian's back. "Its' okay I Dad, I need to do this, and Ben needs me to do this too. Adrian approached Ben's bed, and saw him with his head bandaged his arm in a sling above his beds, and an entire bandage around his chest.
Ben watched her from the side of his bed, it was strange to him watching himself like this, and seeing how important he was to his friends and family. Alice and Henry were by his bedside as Adrian approached, and both were apologizing to him for their actions. "Ben I'm so sorry for what I did." Henry cried I should have never slept with Adrian or broken up with Alice. I should have been your friend, and realized that you were still hurting from losing Mercy. "I promise Ben, if you wake up I will spend my life trying to make it up to you. "And if you want Alice I give up all claim to both of you. Just please wake up." he cried
"Henry, stop being stupid", Alice replied also crying. "Ben knows he doesn't see me like that he just slept with me, to get back at you and Adrian." "We both know that he loves Adrian, he wore his wedding ring for weeks after he moved out", she said looking at her friend lying broken and motionless in bed with the heart monitor beeping in a silent, and steady tone. As they both made their apologies to a seemingly lifeless Ben, Adrian made her way toward them, and said don't worry he is sorry and so am I for all that has happened between us.
Adrian was then left alone by everyone to privately talk to Ben, and if necessary make peace with her ex-husband. "Benny, why are you pretending to be asleep when you know you can hear everything that is happening." she said rubbing her hand gently across his bruised cheek. "I know that you saved me on the roof, because you are always there when I need you Ben, now tell me how I can be there for you now that you need me?" she said sitting on his bedside.
As she did this she remembered the story of sleeping beauty, and the story about how a kiss woke the princess from a deep sleep, she wondered could it be that simple. Her and Ben's life, and their relationship was definitely no fairy tale. Even though Ben was a prince she had to admit she was no princess, but one thing she knew there was magic in every kiss she shared with Ben. It was what brought them together, and made them fall in love with one another. "Benny, we both know I don't believe in fairy tales." she said. "But I do believe in what I feel for you she said. Adrian leaned in and kissed Ben gently and lovingly on the lips.
It was in that moment that Ben himself was watching the events unfold and was then bathed in a pool of white light. As the light surrounded him he saw his daughter, his mom, Dr. Bowman, and Antonio looking at him. "Than you," he said as they all disappeared from his sight. Adrian looked down as Ben's eyes slowly opened and she heard th words "thank you" whisper from his lips. "I should thank you Ben, for always being there for me." she said as she leaned her head against his. "Thank you for finding me", he said barely able to speak as the pain from his injuries weakened him. "We will always find each other Benni, Adrian said as the nurse and Dr. Shakur came into the room, after being alerted by the monitors.
[CHORUS]
Early morning,
City breaks
I've been calling
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all our love.
Lost and insecure,
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor,
Where were you? Where were you?
[Chorus]
Why'd you have to wait,
To find me?
To find me?