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Once again, Jess sat in front of his computer, like he did every day; trying to fill the pages with words only to find out he was unable to write a single line. Every time he tried to focus he saw those blue eyes flashing before him. How could someone change like that?

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He couldn't go back to where he had been before he'd cut her out of his life. He had decided a long time ago to stop obsessing about her and what she did with her life.

For a few months after she left he had truly been obsessing. He had read every article she wrote, he had even went by New Haven a few times to pick up a copy of the Yale Daily News and get a small glimpse of her – always careful not to be seen or noticed.

He couldn't go back to that. He couldn't go back to googling her name every night before he went to sleep. He couldn't go back to that time were she was as important as the air he breathed. Besides – she was not the same. The woman he met yesterday was not the girl he had been pining for all that time.

With a determined look on his face he leaned forward again and placed his fingers on the keyboard. Work. Write. That's what he had to do.

A few hours later Jess leaned back in his office chair and read through the pages he had written. It stunk. It was the worst piece of crap ever written by anyone – ever. Even Ayn Rand could write better than that, he thought and then scolded himself for letting his thoughts dart back to that place.

She said: 'Thanks Luke, but you know, I don't really have that much time to read anymore' and then she put the book aside

The pieces didn't match. He wondered what book Luke had bought her, but quickly realized that wasn't the problem. Rory would have at least pretended to jump for joy even if he had bought her a Hemingway, knowing that Luke had really tried. The old Rory, he corrected himself. The old Rory would have.

No. He wasn't supposed to do this. He wasn't supposed to think about her. He got up from his chair and decided to go for a walk to clear his mind.

He had walked around the city for hours, trying to chase the image of her out of his mind. It hadn't worked. Wherever he looked there was something to remind him of her; a brunette suddenly turning a corner and making his heart leap until he realized that it wasn't her, a book on display in a store window reminding him of Luke's words or even the faintest smell of that particular perfume she used to wear, lingering in the air from someone passing by.

Jess closed the door behind him with a sigh and stopped in the hallway, pondering whether to go straight to bed or to watch a movie before bedtime. He had just decided that falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie probably was the most effective way to avoid unwanted thoughts to creep into your head before bedtime when his phone rang.

Distraught, as he walked towards the living room to choose a movie to fall asleep to, he answered without looking at the phone. "Hello"

"Jess?" A female voice asked on the other end of the line.

"This is he" He answered while running his finger along the line of movies placed on one of the bottom shelves in the bookcase.

"Hey" The voice said in a softer tone and his heart took a leap in his chest. It was Rory's voice.

"Hi" He answered as he stood up straight, not quite sure what else to say.

"I'm sorry things got so awkward last night at the charity" The soft tone in her voice is gone, she sounds businesslike; cold and efficient as she jumps directly to the reason for her call. "I didn't expect seeing you there. It ended so weird, with you leaving like that"

Him leaving like that? Jess scoffed. Didn't she see why he had left? Didn't she understand that it hurt too much seeing her like that? "It wasn't my scene" He offered as explanation, not letting his voice reveal any emotions.

"Please let's go out to dinner" She said with the pleading tone from someone who's used to getting everything they ask for. Or at least, that was his judgment, but maybe he was biased in his dislike for this new Rory.

"It'll give us a chance to catch up" She continued when he didn't say anything.

"I don't know" He answered honestly. What good could come out of having dinner with her? On the one hand the change could turn out to be nothing but a superficial act for her friends, which would most likely end up with him broken-hearted and as in love with her as he had been last time they'd met. On the other hand, the change could turn out to be permanent, with no trace of the old Rory left, which would most probably end up with him not only broken hearted but also in love with a woman that didn't even exist.

"For old time's sake" She kept trying to convince him. "It's been years since we talked"

"Maybe there's a reason behind why it's been years" He said in a dry voice.

"You sound so bitter" Her voice was accusing and he could swear there was a pout on her lips. That was if the new Rory did pout of course.

"Yeah, life can have that effect on you" He answered, getting ready to hang up the phone and go back to trying to forget all about her and move on with his life.

"I'm sorry" She said and something in her voice stopped him from hanging up. "Come to dinner with me, give me a chance to explain…and maybe make it up to you?"

Make it up to him? What was she thinking? How did you make up to someone for breaking their heart? The pain he felt and the bitterness that was always present whenever the topic drifted to love – how could she make up for that?

But he couldn't deny the explaining part was indeed intriguing. He would very much like to hear an explanation, not only to what happened between them, but most importantly; what had happened to her.

"When?" He asked and was rewarded with an excited chirp from the other end of the line.

"Tomorrow, if that works for you?" It was more of a demand than a question.

"Sure"

"Great!" She said, with the sound of someone that had just closed a business deal. "I'll have my driver come pick you up at seven"

"You don't have to…" He started but was quickly interrupted.

"Nonsense, I know where you live; I found it when looking up your phone number. I'll be there at seven"

He sighed. "Whatever"

"Wonderful" She piped. "See you then"

"Yeah" He said, not sounding even half as excited as she did.

Jess stared at his watch; a quarter to seven. It was too late for him to change his mind and cancel, she was probably already on her way over. Yeah, he thought, as if he was ever really going to cancel.

The thought of cancelling the dinner had crossed his mind more times than he could count during the day, but deep inside he knew that he wouldn't. Telling himself that he could cancel was merely an act he put up for himself to be able to keep at least a small shred of self-respect.

He sighed and turned to look at himself in the mirror again. He shrugged his shoulders at his reflection and headed towards the door. He had made a deal with himself saying that he was allowed one cigarette while waiting for her. Not that he really needed it; it just felt like a good pastime while waiting.

He sat down on one of the steps in front of the apartment building and held the cigarette in his hand. Unwanted memories from times that were since long gone sneaked into his head.

So, tell me, what's your decision about smoking that depending on?

He shook his head to rid himself of the memory and lit the cigarette. She was married to another man – it wouldn't matter whether he smoked or not; he wasn't allowed to kiss her anymore.

Still, he quickly hid the cigarette by placing it in the pocket of his jacket when he saw a limo coming down the street and slowing down in front of the building.

He took a deep breath and steadied himself before he stood up and walked towards the car.