Keep Walking
Even if you're afraid
That place is just depressing. He can't even look at it without feeling bad, what is it with Derek and that house, anyway? His family died in there, Jesus, why won't he move away or maybe demolish the whole thing and rebuild it? He can't live in that dump. Should he knock on the door, anyway? What for, they can probably hear his heart racing from inside the house, even if he hasn't left his Jeep yet.
His Jeep that it's falling apart still, but, hey, it works, so he's not complaining.
He gets out and sighs deeply, trying to convince himself it's not for fear. It's just… anticipation. For good news. The good news that werewolf-Jackson is just as stupid as human-Jackson and so he chose the wrong person to bite.
He can even forgive the gash on his neck if that happens. He's getting to the door when it opens abruptly and he stares wide eyed at Isaac, who looks pissed.
"Finally!" he exclaims, rubbing his eyes, "Just get in already, ok?"
And then he starts pushing Stiles to the door, and the boy can only go, because hello, super-strength.
"I knew you'd see reason" Peter says as soon as he sees him, sitting on the pretty much only chair Stiles can see, and staring at his computer screen.
"I'm just here so that dumbass can see I'm not his mate, and you will get off my back" he replies, looking around, looking for Jackson.
"He's in the cell downstairs" Derek says, from the top of the stairs, and Stiles has to fight the urge to question if they rehearse their entrances – the sarcastic first move, the brooding and mysterious appearance.
"In the cell?" he questions, doubtfully – okay, Scott was a jerk at his first full moon, but only during the full moon, and not the rest of the time.
"It was the only way to stop him from going after you" Derek replies, and starts walking downstairs.
Stiles follows silently because he's not sure what to say for once.
Derek stops in front of a heavy metal door and starts to unlock it – there's a long whine from the inside which makes the hair on Stiles' neck stand on end, and he puts a hand on Derek's arm.
"You're going in with me, right?" he whispers and the resulting growl from inside makes him rethink the whole thing, "Maybe I can come back later, right?" he says, already backing away from the door, but Derek seems to have reached the limit of his patience and reaches out for him, opening the door briefly and pushing Stiles in.
"You'll be just fine" Derek says with a small smirk, letting go of his arm.
He stumbles forward, and hears the sound of the door being closed again, a low growl, and then Stiles is being pushed against the wall, there's a mouth on his neck, and a hand holding his hips, another twisting his arms together and pushing it against the wall, over his head.
"Mine" he hears, and the word makes his heart skip a beat.
Jackson didn't mark him by accident then.
"Stop!" he says, trying to get away from the other teen – he can't see in here, he can't see what Jackson is doing, he can only feel the scrape of teeth against his neck again, the hard breathing against his skin, the strength of Jackson's arms holding him in place – and not even one of those things are good or exciting: it's freaking terrifying.
He's so afraid he's pretty sure he's going to have a panic attack.
"Jackson, stop! Get off me, STOP!" he screams, and it only serves to make Jackson growl louder and hold him tighter.
In the darkness he can see a pair of bright, glowing blue eyes glaring at him so hard Stiles isn't sure how he can't feel the weight of it.
"You're mine" it's a growl more than a sentence, and Stiles doesn't answer, his brain short-circuiting.
He's almost sure that if he agrees, if he says he's Jackson's, the other teen will probably loosen his hold, even if only a bit, but he can't.
He does not belong to Jackson.
"Let go of me. Now" he says, trying to make his voice strong and sure, but he knows he's not really successful.
"You're mine" Jackson repeats, his voice more human, but sounding just as angry as before, "You're mine and you reek of other wolf and her."
It's an accusation, but hell if Stiles will apologize for smelling like Scott and Lydia.
"I'm not yours" he says, and realizes it's a mistake when the growl intensifies and Jackson pushes against him again, not a breath between them, mouth on his neck, snarling, mouthing his barely healed cut, and pushing his neck to the other side, biting it less ferociously, but it's a close thing.
"NO!" he screams, "HELP! DEREK!" his voice is trembling, and his shouts are rough, but he doesn't care, he's not going to bleed to death in a cellar because Derek thinks it's funny.
Whatever his voice sounded like it must have been enough for Derek to believe he's in real danger, because the Alpha opens the door and roars, making Jackson pull him back, lower his head, but not let go of Stiles.
He pushes Stiles behind him and he stumbles, almost falling.
"I brought you your mate, and you're hurting him?" Derek says, and Jackson whines a bit, looking down, "This is not what we agreed on."
"He smells like Scott and Lydia" Jackson says, as if that's an explanation, "It's not right."
"I know" Derek says, and Stiles would protest, but he's pretty sure that will make whatever sort of control Derek has going on slip, and Jackson will attack him again, "But you are scaring him, and you are hurting him."
Derek stares at Jackson and the younger werewolf sighs, rolling his neck a bit, opening and closing his hands, as if trying to calm down.
"It won't happen again. Just let me… He needs to smell like me" he says, and Derek nods, taking a step towards the door.
"No!" Stiles shouts, "Don't leave me here, I can't… not here! I can't see in here, I don't even know what he's doing, not here, you can't leave me here!" his voice is panicked, and afraid and small, so much so that Derek looks like he's regretting his earlier decision of leaving him here with Jackson.
"You two can come up if you do what he says" Derek orders and Stiles nods in agreement, because anything is better than being here.
Jackson grabs him by the hip, pulling him close as they walk to the door and follow Derek upstairs. Stiles tries to calm his breathing, but he's having a hard time doing it.
Jesus freaking Christ, he wants nothing to do with this.
"Is there a way to break this?" he asks once they are upstairs, and Jackson growls, pulling him even closer and glaring at him, "Come on, you can't tell me you're happy you're saddled with me, Jackson. You're not. You hate me."
Jackson doesn't answer immediately, he stares at Stiles for a moment, glaring all the time.
"You're mine. There's no breaking it. There's no you leaving me. You belong to me."
Stiles is so angry at that he can't even talk, and tries to step away from Jackson again, but Derek puts a hand on his shoulder.
"You said you'd do what he said. I can always let him drag you back to that cell."
Stiles glares at him and looks around. Peter is staring at them with a blank face, and Isaac is nowhere to be seen. Jackson is still glaring.
Stiles notices Jackson made a whole speech about Stiles belonging to him, but he doesn't deny that he hates Stiles.
This sure is healthy.
"He just needs to scent you" Peter ends up saying, "He spent too long without seeing you, he'll break out of Neanderthal mode as soon as he's reassured you're not disappearing, that you're here. It won't always be this bad, as long as you don't fight it."
He says that as if it's a reasonable request.
Stiles doesn't say anything, though, he looks at Jackson, eye to eye, not backing down.
"What do you want me to do?" he asks through gritted teeth, and Jackson doesn't answer immediately – he drags Stiles to a piece of crap couch, in a corner of the blackened room, and pushes Stiles to it, falling over him, covering every inch of Stiles' body with his own.
"Jesus Christ, what are you doing?" he shouts, pushing at Jackson's shoulders, but the other teen isn't listening, too busy burying his face in Stiles neck and breathing in deeply, and licking his neck next.
"What part of it's easier if you don't fight it didn't you get?" Peter asks, and he sounds amused.
"The part where I'm being about to get raped by a werewolf in front of an audience" he snaps back, and senses, more than hears or sees, that Jackson has just let out a small chuckle against his neck.
"I'm not going to rape you. I'm serious about the scent, it's driving me crazy" he raises his head and stares at Stiles firmly, "Do not go near them again" he orders, and Stiles is about to open his mouth and tell him he can't tell Stiles who to see or not when Peter cleans his throat and stares pointedly at him.
Ok, shutting up for now.
This isn't over, though.
Stiles's never had the ability of standing still, and having Jackson's body over his isn't helping.
"What do people think happened to you, anyway?" he asks, just to have something to talk about or he'll end up going crazy.
Jackson shifts, attacking the other side of his neck for a bit before answering.
"My parents know… everything. They're okay with it. My dad was worried, but he saw me, and he saw how dangerous I was, and he talked to Peter." He licks Stiles neck, and the other boy closes his eyes in disgust, "I'll be able to go home soon, though, now that you're here. After the full moon" he finishes.
"Right" Stiles answers, and his breathing is starting to get out of control again, "I need… I need to go home. I told my dad I'd be home soon, I can't be late, he's pissed at me."
Jackson starts growling and moves so he can stare at Stiles properly, and Stiles glares at him again.
"I don't know what you're pissy about. My dad doesn't know about this mess, okay? And by the way, I could be arrested for being here – you have a restraining order against me" he says, and Jackson's eyes widen, as if he had forgotten about it.
He actually looks a bit guilty when he lets Stiles stand up.
"You'll come back, right?" the blond asks and Stiles swallows hard, looking at Peter and Derek before answering.
"Yeah… I'll… I'll come by tomorrow, okay?" his heart is hammering in his chest, but it's not a lie.
Jackson nods briefly.
"I don't want you going home alone, it's dangerous" he says, and Stiles takes a deep breath, but he's spared the trouble of answering to that by Peter.
"I'll go with him. I'll enjoy having a stroll in the woods on my way back."
Jackson nods and Stiles starts going to the door, but is pulled back by Jackson, who puts one of his arms around Stiles waist, and the other on the back of his neck, and kisses him.
Or maybe it'd be a kiss if Stiles contributed, but it's more like a pushing of Jackson's lips against his, forceful and hungry and so very, very wrong.
When Jackson lets go, Stiles doesn't say anything – he turns and walks out, trying to regain his breathing.
Peter gets in his Jeep after him, and he drives, still silent.
When they are far enough from the house that not even werewolf hearing would make it possible for Stiles to be heard he parks the car, and drops his head between his knees, breathing – in and out, he can do it.
Peter lets him do this for a few minutes before speaking.
"As far as mates go, you could do a lot worse, Stiles" he comments, and Stiles laughs a bit hysterically.
"Will it always be this bad?" he asks, and Peter snorts – Stiles can practically see his face contorting in contempt.
"That wasn't bad. He has an impressive amount of control. It won't get any worse if you stop fighting this. The more you fight…"
"The worse it gets. Yeah, I caught that the first fifteen times."
"I don't think you did" Peter says, "He was almost normal by the end of it. Letting you go after just a few minutes like that? That's restraint. He's trying. You should try too."
Stiles is silent for a long moment.
"I don't think I can. Not with him."
"Why? Is he so bad?" Peter asks, and he sounds genuinely curious.
Stiles raises his head and looks at the man.
"I could manage this if it was anyone else. Isaac, Scott, Derek – even you. I could. I swear I could. But Jackson?" he shakes his head, and Peter stares at him for a moment, as if trying to decipher him.
"I'm not one for counseling, but I'll say this to you, Stiles: he won't let you go. You can either make this work, and then you'll have a wonderful life, with a man who'll do anything for you, and a healthy relationship, or you'll have a crazy, possessive boyfriend whom you can't break up with."
"Healthy? Derek didn't make it sound as if there's any way this can be healthy."
Peter laughs bitterly.
"Those are Derek's issues, but yes, it can happen. His parents, for instance. My mate."
Stiles is surprised by that.
"She…" he starts, trailing off, and Peter nods at him.
"She died in the fire. One of the many reasons I was that crazy when I came to my senses in the hospital. We were a healthy and happy couple, ask anyone who remembers us – but you can't keep fighting this."
Stiles doesn't say anything – he turns the car back on and goes home.
He won't say he'll do something he doesn't know he can.
X
He needs to tell Scott. That's a fact. He also needs to tell something to his dad, because he's got hickeys all over both sides of his neck, and on his collarbone, and his dad will sure want to know what's going on there.
He doesn't want to tell them. It feels like the more people know the more real it becomes.
He and his dad are sitting down for dinner, and Stiles is struggling more with his words than usual – they can't seem to decide if they want to come out all at once or not come at all.
"Dad, I have to tell you something" he starts, and his dad stares at him hopefully.
Oh, man, this is bad.
"I…" but then he's interrupted by the doorbell.
Maybe it's a sign he shouldn't tell anything to his dad. Nothing at all.
They look at each other and Stiles shrugs a bit, getting up to answer the door.
And there's Jackson's parents standing there.
Jackson's-parents.
"Good night, Stiles. Could we talk to you and your dad for a minute?"
Apparently having heard the request, his dad is already coming to the door too, and he's staring angrily at Stiles – of course, he says he has to tell his dad something, and then the parents of the boy who has a restraining order against him show up. Stiles can't blame him.
"Is there a problem?" the Sheriff asks, gesturing the couple inside, and Jackson's mom smiles wide.
"Oh, no, not at all. At least not for Stiles" she smiles at him, and Stiles tries to smile back, but he can't. What the hell is going on? "Jackson would probably be in trouble right now, but what with the scare he gave us all at the day of the game…" she shudders a bit and the Sheriff looks sympathetic.
He guides the couple to the living-room, and Stiles kind of hovers, not knowing what he should do.
"You should sit, Stiles. After all, this is about you too" Jackson's dad says kindly, and the boy sits beside his dad.
Right. Stepford-parents, is that it?
"We came here, Sheriff Stilinski, to apologize. Jackson told us a few days ago that the whole prank your son and Scott McCall pulled was actually his idea, he was in the middle of it, and he was afraid we would be angry. When it all went wrong, he begged the boys to leave him out of it – and apparently, for reasons that we'll get to in a moment, he thought it'd be better to accuse them. He was scared, as he had a right to be. After all, our boys don't exactly have a history of being the best of friends." He smiles again, and Stiles is, now, just as lost as his dad.
"What do you mean?" the Sheriff asks.
"Have you told you dad the good news yet, Stiles?" Jackson's mom asks, and the boy pales.
The good news? Hey, dad, this guy who hates me is a werewolf and I'm his now? Sure as hell not!
He shakes his head, and his dad stares at him for a few seconds, seeing how pale he is. John looks worried.
"Well, I'm sorry for breaking it for him, sweetie, but Jackson is worried you two started this the wrong way, and he thought it'd be better if your dad heard it from us" she explains before turning to his dad again, "You see, Sheriff, Jackson is in love with your son. He has… issues, as you know, and he was confused for a while, but now that he and Stiles are together, finally, we had to make sure you knew the restraining order was dropped, just as well as all other charges against Stiles and Scott."
Stiles would have something to say, but… did she just say in love?
Jackson is not IN LOVEwith him, Jackson thinks he owns him, there's a HUGE difference there.
"-the equivalent of pulling pigtails, but of course he took it a bit too far" Jackson's dad is saying, and Stiles knows he lost a bit of conversation.
"I'll say, I temporarily lost my job for it" John accuses, and Stiles is now intrigued.
What if his dad refused to give permission for him and Jackson?
It could work.
"We know, and we deeply apologize. Jackson is going through a rough patch, Sheriff, and we are practically family now, so I won't lie to you. We think Stiles could be good for him, straighten him out, so to speak, out of his bad habits. Your son is a sweet and caring young man, there could be no one better for our Jackson" the other teen's mom says, and Stiles is startled to realize she actually sounds as if she means it.
What the hell?!
His dad still looks doubtful, and Jackson's dad looks understanding.
"We know it's a lot to apologize for, but I know these past few months have been really difficult for our boys. The lying and the disappearing, and the injuries – you know what we are talking about, Sheriff" he cajoles and Stiles can see his dad's resolution crumbling, because, yes, he knows all that – just not as well as Jackson's parents seem to do, "And now to know that they can finally stop doing this, and that they found comfort in each other…" he trails off and smiles a bit sadly, "Jackson actually told us he loved us, this afternoon, after we agreed to come and talk to you. Do you know how much this means to us? And it's all because of Stiles" he finishes.
Right. Because of him, or maybe Jackson's furry problem.
Or even more possibly his acting skills and a deep desire to deceive everyone.
John finally sighs.
"I had no idea about any of this" he says, and stares at Stiles who is lost. What is he supposed to say?
"I… didn't know how to tell you without sounding crazy" he ends up saying, and his dad rubs his eyes.
"Thank you for coming here, Mrs. And Mrs. Whittemore" John says, "But if you'll excuse us, I think I and Stiles need to talk." They both get up from the couch, nodding.
"Oh, please, Sheriff, call us Emily and Mark" she says, smiling all the way, and John actually cracks a small smile.
"Only if you call me John."
Everyone has boarded the crazy ship now, and Stiles is pretty sure he's the only one sane enough to see how crazy this whole thing is.
Also, Stiles feels like his dad just agreed to some sort of arranged marriage between him and Jackson.
And he's obviously the girl in it.
What the hell, man? Weren't werewolves and Kanimas and hunters enough? Why did this have to happen to him of all people?
When he stops raging in his head, his dad has already said his goodbyes to Jackson's parents, and Stiles manages a small wave.
They go back to the kitchen, and his dad stares at him.
"That… was weird" the man states putting a forkful of food in his mouth. Stiles snorts.
"You're telling me. I didn't even know Jackson was going to take this this seriously and then his parents come here. What the hell was that? I feel like a lady in a cheap paperback book."
His dad laughs at that, and it's a bit less strained, a bit happier.
He is starting to believe this is what Stiles had been lying about all this time.
Oh, man.
"You'd make an adorable damsel in distress" he comments, smirking, and Stiles throws a carrot at him, "However… I feel like I should apologize" he says more seriously, and Stiles stares at his dad.
"What for?" he asks, and John sighs, putting his fork down, rubbing his eyes again.
"You've been… not yourself lately, Stiles. And you tried to let me know things. That day at the Police Station. The other night at that dance club – and I dismissed you. I kept accusing you of hiding something from me, and yet every time you tried to tell me, I dismissed you."
"You mean… the day I told you I could be gay and you said I wasn't?" Stiles asks, with a hint of a smile, and John huffs.
"Yes, Stiles. That."
"If it makes you feel any better, none of those things had anything to do with Jackson. Mostly. He was in the middle of it, he was the reason I was in that club, but I didn't know he'd be… interested in me like that. It's very… recent."
Very recent, as in, he mauled my neck twelve days ago and this afternoon he kissed me, but I didn't kiss him back, and now I smell like him, but that's all.
"You know, I never took you to be Jackson's type" he comments before leaving the kitchen.
Stiles snorts.
"You're telling me that. I swore to God he was Lydia's forever, and my heart was broken, and then he goes, oh, no, Stiles, you're mine" he rambles – because it's the truth.
His dad is going to think he was heartbroken because of Jackson, but what is half a lie for someone like him?
"I'm not sure how I feel about this" John says, and Stiles stares at him, scared.
Okay, if his dad is going to have issues about him being gay his whole life might as well be over, because he isn't even having that crises – he sure as hell is not falling for Jackson.
As far as he gets it, he belongs to Jackson, and that's not going to change. He can understand that even if he doesn't want to think about it, but having this sort of issue with his dad when he isn't even having this issue – that's just too much.
"Not you liking boys" John says fast, probably reading something very bad in Stiles' expression, "But this whole… thing. If this boy is the reason you were lying and deceiving me, then I don't think he's good for you. Plus, what kind of person issues a restraining order against someone they have a crush on? Are you sure about this?"
He looks so worried, Stiles thinks, and all he can do is laugh bitterly.
"I know. I was… so pissed, because he was in the middle of it, and of course no one had any idea about this… us thing that is going on now, dad. It was… hard. And confusing" he makes a pause, and shrugs again, "But if it helps any, he wasn't even around for most of the trouble I was in last year. That is all on me and Scott, and us trying to do the right thing without thinking first. We felt guilty about accusing Derek Hale of something he didn't do, and tried to help him; we felt weird about Matt following Allison around and tried to stop him. We were really, really trying to do the right thing."
His dad looks at him with a mixed expression of pride and despair.
"That is not your job, Stiles. You're a kid. You don't have to help anyone but yourself."
Stiles thinks about Jackson and Derek, and Scott and Allison, even Peter and Isaac and Lydia, and Boyd and Erica. He thinks about being beaten up by Gerard and breaking his Jeep apart to help the pack against the crazy hunter.
He thinks how much of that he had to do, and he knows he didn't have to do any of it – he did it because he felt it was the right thing to do, to keep the ones he cared about safe.
Just like him going with this Jackson madness thing is just to keep his dad and Scott safe.
He doesn't do these things because he has to do them.
He does them because someone else needs him to.
"I'll try to do better" he promises, and his father snorts, putting his dirty dishes in the sink.
"Maybe you should do less better and more keep out of it altogether" he comments, messing with his son's hair.
"I'll try" he says with a grin, and John laughs.
"Yeah, maybe Jackson will keep you in a leash" he says, laughing and leaving the kitchen, going to his room, to get ready for the night shift.
He has no idea how close to the truth he was.
X
They ride in the car in silence, not talking, but their hands are tangled together between their seats.
"Do you think we did the right thing? Not telling John the whole thing?" Emily asks, and Mark sighs.
"It was what Jackson asked us to do, honey" he says, and she squeezes her hand.
"I know… I would feel better if Stiles' dad knew everything, though. It's a lot to take in, Mark, you know it is. You know we would have had a harder time accepting it if it wasn't for the fact that being what he is now is what made sure Jackson was alive after that thing at the game. John has a right to know what his son is getting himself into."
Mark is silent for a little while.
"You may be right, Em, but truth is Stiles has to be the one to tell him, don't you think?"
Emily doesn't look convinced.
"I don't know. I don't like this lying, and I know we have to protect Jackson, but John is the Sheriff. If anything, he'll be better able to help the boys in his position if anything should happen."
"Emily, Jackson has just started trusting us, for the first time in his life ever since he found out he was adopted. Do you really want to put that trust at risk?" Mark questions his wife. He knows he's pushing it, but he won't lose his son now that it looks like Jackson might actually believe they love him unconditionally.
They love that kid with everything they have and he's finally starting to believe them. They can't lose that now. They'll deal with the consequences when they come.
Emily sighs.
"You're right" she says, looking out of the window, "I just wish this full moon business goes by fast. That house is unhealthy" she shudders a bit, wrinkling her nose in disgust of the Hale place.
Mark laughs at his wife's expression.
"Four more days and he'll be home with us, safe and sound" he looks at her, smiling, and she smiles in return.
Their son will be happy. They'll do anything to make sure of it.
Even lie to the Sheriff.
Another one done!
I'm not sure I'll be able to update tomorrow, but I'll try!
Let me know what you're thinking of it!
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