Keep Walking
even if you can't see the light
Stiles finishes cleaning up the kitchen as his dad leaves, and he sighs. He'll take a shower and try to find Scott online on Skype.
It's better if he does this telling thing all at once.
He knows, rationally, that he should do this in private, in person, with his friend face to face, but the ghost feeling of Jackson's hands – clawed hands – all over him, the tone of his voice saying he smelt like Scott, the anger, the danger… it makes him reconsider.
He's not giving in, but he's not stupid – full moon is in three days, and he doesn't want a repeat of the scenting thing.
Skype it is.
Fortunately, Scott is online and answers immediately when Stiles calls him.
"Hey" he greets his friends, trying for chipper and sounding a bit maniac. He's all over the place, Jesus Christ.
"Hey, man. How did it go with Lydia?"
Lydia? Man, Lydia is so far from his mind right now he can't even believe his talk with her happened earlier that day.
"Awful. She's really leaving" he answers, and Scott's face screws up in sympathy.
"But why? I thought after the whole thing with Jackson she'd be fine." He looks so confused, like a little kid, "Did she freak out now?"
"Ok, I've got to tell you something, because I know why Lydia is leaving but there's a lot I have to tell you first." He makes a pause, and Scott stares at his screen, looking even more confused than before, "Is Allison your mate?" he ends up asking, and he can see Scott's face going miserable, as it always does when Allison is mentioned, and then a bit afraid, as if he's fearing Stiles will be pissed with his answer.
"How do you know about mates?" he asks instead of answering, and Stiles snorts a laugh, bitter and incredulous.
"I had a crash course in it. Is she?" he presses and Scott nods reluctantly.
"Derek told me about it a while ago. I didn't tell you before because, well, it seems creepy. It is creepy. Allison doesn't even know about it, and I don't know how to tell her, but at the same time, I know that's what will make sure we're okay in the end, you know? We'll be fine. She'll come around, because I love her, and she's my mate, and I'm hers" he says all that with a certainty that seems to be just as much for himself as it is for Stiles, and Stiles remembers Peter telling him this could be a good thing.
Sure, if you're in love with the person who is your mate, absolutely.
"Have you marked her?" he asks, and Scott looks definitely uncomfortable for a moment, before shaking his head.
"No. I don't have to, we have time" he sounds so sure Stiles is starting to believe this whole thing is just messed up on his end.
Why him? Why did he get the uncontrollable werewolf with no self-restraint whatsoever? Why couldn't he get someone he actually liked, that would respect his choices, and think about him every once in a while?
Why?
"Why are you asking me all this?" Scott asks, closer to the cam, forehead all wrinkled in confusion.
"You remember that night, at the warehouse, what Jackson did to me?"
"Yeah, he bit you" Scott says, blinking at him.
Scott is going to make him say it, won't he? He can't follow the breadcrumbs trail, he has to hear things spelled out.
"How do you mark your mate, Scott?" he asks, irritably, and he sees the second realization dawns on him, his eyes widening, and his mouth hanging open.
"No way!" he says, and Stiles shrugs, looking down, "No way, man, you're like, in love with his girlfriend!"
"Ex-girlfriend" Stiles replies, "She's leaving because of me. She can't take it, staying here, knowing I get Jackson and she doesn't. As if I want him at all."
Scott is silent for a while, staring at the screen.
"What are you going to do?" his friend ends up asking, looking just as depressed as Stiles feels.
"I don't know, man. What can I do? You're the wolfy here, you have the whole instinct crap, what can I do?" he stares at Scott's face on his screen, and the other boy looks as if he's thinking really hard about something.
"I don't think there's anything you can do" he answers, almost whispering, "I mean, he marked you, that's pretty final. I didn't… I couldn't do that to Allison, I knew she wouldn't be able to… choose things after. She'd be… mine."
"Did Derek tell you that?" Stiles questions, and Scott shakes his head.
"No. You just… know. You mark your mate and they'll be tied to you, forever, and I couldn't do that. The urge was there, but I couldn't."
"How? How did you fight it, how could you not do it? Why couldn't Jackson have that kind of control?" Stiles rages for a bit, all flailing hands and indignation, but Scott just shakes his head again, looking even more uncomfortable than before.
"I don't know, man. I mean, it's Jackson. Who knows why he does anything? He's such a douche" his eyes widen then and he looks at Stiles in a bit of a panic, "Sorry!" he says, and Stiles laughs, startled.
"You don't have to apologize for saying the truth. He is a douche. And a jerk."
"And your mate" Scott completes, looking down.
They don't say anything for a while, not knowing what could be said not to make the whole thing worse.
"He doesn't want me hanging out with you anymore" Stiles says, and Scott frowns, but it's fast and then his face is understanding.
"Because of the scent, right?"
"Yeah. He had no problem with Isaac or Derek, though. Or Peter" Stiles comments, spinning his chair around a bit.
"Because they're a part of his pack" Scott says, nodding, and Stiles covers his eyes with his hands, in a bit of despair, because his best friend says that as if it's a reasonable explanation.
"So what? I won't be able to be near you anymore, because you're not Derek's? How fair is that? I'm your pack!" he says, stopping his spinning and facing the screen, where Scott looks very, very uncomfortable.
"Not anymore" he says in a whisper, looking down, "You're Jackson's. If he marked you, you're his, and you're a part of whatever pack he is a part of, and that's Derek's."
Stiles looks at the screen open mouthed, and honest to God, he's about to cry.
Okay, Scott is not the best friend in the market, but he has stuck with Stiles through everything ever since they became friends. Everything. Even when Stiles used to make fun of him all the time, when they got roughed up by bullies at school, when Stiles got kicked out of class for being too loud, when Scott almost got held back because of his grades – everything.
And now they couldn't be friends anymore because of Jackson?
Was he going to take everything away from Stiles until he was all that was left? Was that how he'd assure Stiles wouldn't leave him – apart from the whole hunting him down part, of course.
Was that how he was going to make Stiles want him back?
By taking everything else away?
And then another thought strikes him.
"Dude, if I'm not your pack, and Allison is… well, not with you right now, are you going to go Omega? You can't let that happen!" he says, panicking on Scott's behalf this time.
His friend shakes his head, looking pensive.
"No… I won't. Look, I've got to go, okay? I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'll call and everything – Jackson is such a jerk normally, I'm sure smelling me on you won't make things better between the two of you. I'll call, okay? Don't… freak out" he says and then logs out.
Okay, then. Leave Stiles alone to freak out over his friend being weaker than he should be on top of everything else and disappear, why don't you, Scott?
He sighs and drops on his bed, exhausted and at the same time wide awake. Too much information on a single day, he doesn't want to deal with everything, and he knows he has to, or it'll just build up until he has no other option but freak out immensely, which usually leads to a panic attack.
He hasn't had them in years, but he'd feel very justified in having a nervous breakdown over this situation. He closes his eyes for a minute, but he must doze off at some point, because next thing he knows, there's a hand on his shoulder, and when he opens his eyes, a pair of very, very blue eyes is staring down at him.
"Gah!" he screams, and would have fallen out of the bed if the hand on his shoulder hadn't held him down, "Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing here?!" he says, and Jackson smirks down at him.
"Derek let me out to come here. We knew your father was on the night shift today, and you'd be alone, and you shouldn't be alone."
Stiles looks at him – sitting on his bed, looking smug as if he belongs there, his hand still on his shoulder.
"I'd rather be alone than with you" he mutters, and Jackson growls, barring his teeth at him, but Stiles just glares right back, the hand on his shoulder tightening, and claws going through the fabric of his shirt.
"Are you really this stupid?" another voice says, and Stiles looks out, to where Peter is sitting on his windowsill. His eyes widen and his mouth is hanging open. What is it with his house, a werewolf camping site? "Don't worry about me, I'm just here to defend your virtue" the older man says, smirking at him.
Before Stiles can answer, Jackson is taking his hand away from him.
"Why do you have to make this so damn difficult?" the blond says, burying his hands in his hair, facing the other side of the room.
"You don't want the answer for that" he says, sitting up.
This is so awkward.
Stiles sighs and looks from one werewolf to the other.
"So… what? You're going to stay here all night? I wanted to sleep."
"So sleep" Jackson replies, staring at him angrily, "I'm not stopping you."
"Yes, you are. I'm not going to sleep with the two of you here, that's just creepy" he says, getting up.
"Then don't, but we're not leaving" the other teen says, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring.
"You're like a very small, very spoilt child, do you know that?" Stiles says to him, going to his computer and turning it on, "You always have to get your way, and you don't care about anything else. It's infuriating!" he rants, his back to the other two, "Seriously, how did Lydia stand you for so long?"
"Because I'm great at sex" Jackson deadpans, "Also, she was way easier to deal with than you, because she actually wanted me around" he hisses the last part, and Stiles wants to smile because he's at least getting a rise out of Jackson.
If he's suffering than so is the douchebag.
They stay in silence after that, and Stiles turns briefly to see Peter sitting on the floor, leafing through a book Stiles had been reading earlier, and looking for all the world as if he's pretty comfy in being trapped with two moody teens.
Weird, weird guy.
"She's leaving, you know?" Stiles ends up questioning, and he hears Jackson turn to him sharply, "Before… before I went to see you, I went to her house, that's why I smelled like her. She's leaving because of… this."
"She'll be happier away from here" he ends up saying after a few moments, and Stiles looks at him finally – Jackson is staring down, looking sad and broken.
It tugs a bit at Stiles' heart.
"You should go and say goodbye" Stiles says softly, and Jackson looks at him disdainfully.
"Are you trying to use Lydia to get me to leave you alone here?" he asks, sneering all the way, and Stiles shakes his head, sighing loudly.
"No, you jerk! I'm telling you the girl who's in love with you is going away because you couldn't control yourself and had to bite me! She's hurt and sad, because she still loves you, and you should be at least half decent and apologize before saying goodbye!"
Jackson is silent for a few moments and Stiles thinks that maybe, just maybe things are getting through to Jackson. But then the other teen gets up and walks to Stiles slowly and menacing, teeth bared.
"You care about her, don't you? You still want her, even though you belong to me!" he says, grabbing Stiles' arm and pulling him from his chair.
"That's not what I said! She deserves to hear you say goodbye!" he argues, but Jackson is not listening. He drags Stiles to the bed and throws him on it, making the teen look at Peter who stares at them carefully but doesn't interfere.
"What are you doing?!" he asks when Jackson lays on top of him, holding him tight, and Stiles try to get away, but Peter clears his throat, and through his panic he looks at the man.
"Calm down" the man mouths without making a sound and gets up, standing just a few feet away from them.
"We are sleeping. You said you wanted to sleep, then do it" Jackson says as if that solves everyone's problem.
Stiles is quiet and tries not to move.
Peter looks at him approvingly before going to the teen's computer chair and sitting down, book in his hands.
Every time he moves Jackson growls, so he tries to stop it. It's hard, but he thinks he can do it – if he tries really, really hard.
About fifteen minutes into this, he loses his patience. This is his house, his bed. He can't breathe properly with Jackson draped over him like this, he's not comfortable, he doesn1't want to be here. He sighs and tries to get Jackson off him, throw him off the bed, pushing at his shoulders with everything he has, but the blond merely bars his teeth again, facing him, holding him down.
"I told you to sleep" he growls, and Stiles stares at him mutinously.
"I don't want to" he answers, glaring at Jackson.
Jackson's eyes glow blue for a moment, and then he's biting Stiles' neck again – not with the same force as the first one, but enough to draw a little blood. He tries to shout, but one of Jackson's hands covers his mouth.
"Be quiet, close your eyes, and sleep" the other teen orders, the smell of his own blood evident even to him, a simple human.
He doesn't move for the rest of the night.
He doesn't sleep either, staring at a corner of his room, feeling Jackson's weight over him, Peter's eyes searching his face for long minutes at a time.
It's five in the morning when he hears his father's car getting to the driveway and it's only then that Jackson gets up and leaves through the window, not saying anything.
Stiles swallows hard, and Peter lingers for a bit. He closes his eyes and is startled when he feels Peter running a hand over his hair.
"I'll get Derek to talk to him" he promises, and Stiles simply nods, because he doesn't know what to do.
Peter leaves too.
He listens to his father's shower being turned on and then off, and his door closing on the other side of the corridor.
And that's when he finally turns around in his bed, hos body shaking with the aftermath of the whole night – he honestly thinks he's in shock. He buries his head in his pillow, his screams muffled by it, and the tears soaking the pillowcase.
He can't do this.
He just… can't do this.
And he's starting to question if he even wants to try.
X
Scott logs out of Skype and picks up his phone – he has to do it now or he'll lose his nerve. He has to do this.
He just… he has to do this. It's time to face the music, and face the truth of his choices. He can't run away from things now – before, he could keep this up, but now Stiles is in danger.
He sends out a text and waits for a few minutes, biting his nails nervously.
Finally he gets an answer.
He leaves a note for his mom and gets out of the house on his bike.
He has to do this.
X
Derek stares at his phone for a long minute before going over to Peter.
He doesn't say anything, just throws the thing at him, and waits.
Peter looks at him with an eyebrow raised.
"You're the Alpha. You know why he's doing this. It's your decision" the man says, shrugging, and Derek sighs. Things aren't easy, and with their luck, they'll get worse. He hasn't gotten Erica and Boyd back yet, Jackson is turning out to be way more trouble than he's worth, even worse because of this mate business, and his pack, instead of growing, seems to be getting smaller.
He stares at the phone for a few more minutes and then answers the text, putting it back in his pocket.
"Jackson" he calls, and the blond looks away from the window, where he's glaring at nothing in particular – actually, he's glaring at the place where Isaac is, outside.
Jackson, of course, can't be outside, because he's out of control, and the only time Derek has actually seen him talking coherently was that afternoon, when Stiles was there.
"I think you should get Peter and go over to your mate's house. His dad is working tonight, you shouldn't leave him alone" Derek says, and he knows Peter is smirking. Whatever, the only thing that seems to get through Jackson is Stiles, then so be it.
The teen doesn't question it – he just looks excited and happy, and follows Peter out of the house. Derek closes his eyes – he really doesn't want to think what this full moon will be like. He trembles just thinking about it.
Ten minutes after Jackson and Peter leave, Isaac wonders back inside – the teen can't stand Jackson, and Derek can't blame him. Jackson is a very difficult person, going through a very difficult time, and it'd be hard dealing with him on normal circumstances. With this mate business? He's unbearable.
That doesn't mean Derek will abandon him, though – Stiles stinks of rejection, he wants nothing to do with Jackson, he so clearly despises his mate it makes Derek want to flinch. And Jackson can't do anything about it, so he'll hold on tighter and tighter.
Either they'll work it out, or this will end up messy and ugly. And, of course, Stiles is the son of the Sheriff, so messy and ugly isn't really an option.
That's why he's doing what he's doing right now – accepting Scott's request for a talk.
The teen gets to his house just a few minutes after Isaac gets in, and he senses his Beta's happiness at seeing the other werewolf – Scott is a good guy all around. He knows how to make nice, and he knows how to make people like him – or maybe he doesn't know, but they do it, anyway.
He's lovable.
Not a very remarkable quality on an Alpha, or even a Beta, but Derek is taking whatever he can get right now – especially to help in this Jackson-Stiles situation.
The younger werewolf doesn't need to know that, though.
Scott looks as uncomfortable as he can possibly be, and he stares at Derek with a lost expression – one Derek hasn't seen on him ever since Derek talked to him about mates, months ago.
"So, Scott, you said wanted to talk, talk" he states with a cold smile, standing with his arms crossed in front of his chest, as uninviting as it's possible.
"I… I'm here because of Stiles, ok? I won't lose him too" he says moodily, and Derek arches an eyebrow at him.
"So, what? You want me to kill one of my Betas so you can have your friend back? Stiles is ours now, he's a part of our pack. He belongs to Jackson, and Jackson belongs to me" Derek says cruelly, and Scott flinches.
He didn't have to be this cold, but what Scott said to him at the warehouse, that had hurt.
He never said he couldn't hold a grudge.
"I'd never ask you to kill someone, Derek" the teen replies, angrily, "You were the one who wanted to kill Jackson, not me, remember?"
Derek doesn't answer, he just stares at Scott, unimpressed.
"I…" Scott takes a deep breath and looks at Isaac for a moment, before continuing, "Look, I'm doing this for Stiles, ok? I can't leave him now, I can't just abandon him, and Jackson won't let me come near him if I'm not…" he stops talking, and stares down moodily, making Derek smirk.
"If you're not what, Scott?"
"Pack. If I'm not your pack. This is… this thing between them, this is bad. This is really, really bad. You have no idea how bad this is, and I'm not letting Stiles face this alone. You don't want Stiles handling this alone" he says, and Derek's curiosity is now picked.
"What do you mean, really bad?"
"You don't know Stiles like I do" Scott replies, shrugging, and Derek stares.
"You're going to have to give me something more than that here, Scott. The last time you asked me to take you in this pack, you betrayed me and told me I wasn't your Alpha in front of the whole pack and a bunch of hunters. You are the one asking for something here, not me."
Scott takes a deep breath before speaking.
"Look, Stiles is great, ok? He'd die for me, or his dad, Lydia, even you, I guess. He cares about things, he's amazing, and he won't let anyone go down without a fight. But he is like that with the people he cares about, ok?" Derek nods, and he can see Isaac taking a step forward, interested in this too – after all, this is a member of their pack now, "Thing is, the people he doesn't care about, the ones he doesn't love or like, he couldn't care less about them. He was all for killing you, letting you be arrested, be killed at first. He got to know you, and he changed, sure, he can do that, but his first instinct was to just let you rot. Jackson?" Scott asks, a little bit of despair going in his tone, "He wanted us to kill Jackson ever since we started suspecting he was the Kanima. He hates Jackson. And Jackson is a jerk, he's an awful person, he probably thinks that Stiles should be already falling for him just because it's him – they will never make this work on their own. You know that. And I don't want my best friend to be dead or a killer in three days, so you have to let me help. You have to take me in."
Derek stares at him, not convinced at all.
"Stiles always seemed the most rational of the two of you. He's always helped us" he admits begrudgingly, he doesn't like owing people things, but he knows Stiles' actions have saved all of them more than once.
"Yeah, because I needed him too. Because of me, or his dad, or Lydia. You don't have his dad, and you sure as hell don't have Lydia. You need me" he argues, and Derek stares intently at the teen in front of him.
"You can lose your mate for this. Do you really think Allison is going to want to be claimed by a Beta in a pack whose Alpha is the guy she thinks killed her mother?"
Scott looks down at this, and Derek can smell his uneasiness, but the teen just shakes his head.
"I'll deal with that when the time comes. Am I your pack? Will you take me in?" he asks finally, and Derek glares at him, his eyes glowing red.
"One slip, Scott. One single slip, and you'll wish you were Omega" he threatens, and the boy simply nods.
Derek leaves his Betas in the house and goes out.
He's never wanted to expand his pack like this.
Tada!
So, Scotty-boy, you're hiding something?
Huh.
Tell me what you think!
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