Chapter 7

Ciel's POV:

In some ways, it was a relief to be in the infirmary rather than upstairs in a room by myself or in the room I shared with some of the other boys. While the infirmary was a busy place, it was a peaceful kind of busy, if that made any sense. I could lie in my bed and let all the activity go on around me and not take any notice of it. It was nice to have company for a change and it was nice to hear people talking. The quiet on the top floor had about driven me nuts.

It was even nicer to be with Sebastian again. I didn't want to admit it (and I certainly wouldn't admit it to him!) but I'd missed him. After several years of having him in my service I'd gotten used to having him around. He'd once told me that it was a curious human thing that we humans would develop a regard for those around us despite any circumstances. It didn't matter if the people around us hurt us or not, if they were the only other people around, then those were the people with which we would bond. As a demon he couldn't understand it, but as a human, I could. Even though I knew that one day he would swallow my soul, I still cared about him. His absence had depressed me more than I wanted to confess.

I cared about him, yes, but I was also starting to worry. If he'd been human I would have said that he was coming down with something. His face was pale, there were dark circles under his eyes, and he was clearly thinner. Mr. Caldwell had said something about there being wards and Sebastian had run afoul of them, but shouldn't he have been a bit better by now?

Our days in the infirmary had a pattern. Usually Doctor Evans would wake me in the morning, help me wash, dress me in a fresh nightshirt, take my temperature and examine me, and then I would be settled back in bed in time for breakfast. Once I'd eaten Mr. Caldwell and Cecilia would arrive for Sebastain's morning wash and breakfast. While my breakfast was usually tasty and something I enjoyed, I don't think Sebastian enjoyed his. More than once I saw him wince at the taste. What was so bad about the soups and the milk concoction they were making him drink, anyway?

Once the two of us were washed and fed, we were left to our own devices for the morning. Occasionally I would get a bit of studying in or do some reading, but mostly I wanted to rest. Doctor Evans surprised me with a phonograph and some records one day and I spent a blissful morning listening to Schubert. Lunch would separate the morning and afternoon, and after lunch I usually had a short rest. More than once I caught Sebastian having a nap, which surprised me more than anything else. I knew that demons occasionally enjoyed sleep as a luxury, but it seemed as if he needed the sleep. Interesting.

During the afternoons the doctor would help the both of us to chairs for a while so we could sit at a table and play games or talk. Chess, of course, was a game we played, as was cards, solitaire, backgammon...We kept busy as much as possible. It wasn't long before Doctor Evans began giving us small jobs that we could do while sitting at the table, like arranging papers, putting supplies into boxes, folding linens, etc. I didn't mind the tasks he gave us. Being able to move, even just a little, made me feel much better.

Before dinner came exercise. My illness had left me feeling very weak and the doctor told me that all the stress I'd been under and the difficulties I'd been having with food had all taken their toll on me. He said that I looked more like I'd been ill a month rather than just a few days. There were exercises that he'd guide me through every day, helping me walk down the room, bend, straighten, and lift my limbs, sit up and lie down, and so on. I usually felt a bit better after finishing them but I was also bone tired.

Seeing Sebastian perform them, however, was frightening. He seemed so weak! Even if he was doing the exercises that required him to be on his back he panted with the effort, sitting up was difficult, and when he walked his entire body shook. Seeing him that way, I wondered HOW on earth he had managed to make it up all those steps to the attic where I'd been.

I found myself with a new-found respect for the strength of our contract.

After dinner it was time for our baths. I refused to have anyone see me naked, so after promising that I would call him if I needed help, Doctor Evans allowed me to have my bath by myself. The infirmary had its own bathroom (for which I was thankful, I could have total privacy!) and I always had a bath every night. After my bath I would get another fresh night shirt and then Mr. Caldwell would show up for Sebastian's bath. He would help Sebastian in and out of the tub and to wash and dry off and dress. More than once Mr. Caldwell had to carry Sebastian back to bed.

I didn't get the chance to talk to Sebastian about Mr. Caldwell's elemental status. Sebastian and I didn't have much chance to talk about anything, really. During the day Doctor Evans was there and at night Sebastian and I were usually sleeping, even if we tried to stay awake long enough to talk. Often, if Doctor Evans stepped out during the day, either Sebastian or I would be asleep. Mostly, it was Sebastian who would be deep in a nap and no matter how I tried to wake him, he would just keep on sleeping. I knew that he was ill and exhausted, but we had to talk and make plans sometime!

"It's useless, Ciel," Mr. Caldwell said once, surprising me so much that I almost toppled out of bed.

"What's useless?" I asked, trying to pretend that I'd been doing nothing. Why did he have to pop out of nowhere like that? It was so annoying, not to mention startling!

"Trying to wake him," he said, coming in to sit by my bed. "When he sleeps like that, then that means that his body is trying to heal itself. He won't wake up until he's truly ready to wake up."

I looked at Sebastian and thought about it. "He's been sleeping like this a lot. Is this normal?"

He knew what I was asking. "No. I'm beginning to be quite concerned."

Immediately I felt panic begin to rise. What if Sebastian was so sick that he'd die? He couldn't die! "Will he be all right?" For his sake, I hoped the answer was a positive one.

"I wouldn't worry," he said, rising from his seat. "There are things that can be done to help an ailing demon back to health and I've by no means exhausted such measures. Sebastian has the right idea, Ciel. Why don't you have a nap? You'll be woken in time for lunch."

When Sebastian wanted me to sleep, he would put a hand on my forehead or cover my eyes and will me into sleep, as he put it. With Mr. Caldwell, it seemed words were enough. Between one moment and the next, I was asleep.

Sebastian's POV:

I had never felt so sick in my life. Even when I'd been a human and I'd caught that human illness I'd never felt like this. EVER. I was so weak that I had trouble just sitting up or walking! I kept falling asleep and pretty much all I did was lay in bed. If I pushed myself I could attend to the small tasks that the doctor gave the young master and I could play games or read, but that was all the endurance I had. If the thought "I'm tired," ever crossed my mind, I would be asleep before the thought left my mind.

It was so irksome, there was no emotion sufficient for how I felt.

Even more annoying was the number of times Augustus visited us in the infirmary. If the doctor wasn't there, then he was. If neither of them were there, I was usually asleep! I had never slept this much in my life! How were the young master and I to formulate a plan for escape when I couldn't keep my eyes open for longer than a few hours at a time?

Bleak. All was bleak.

I had a strong suspicion that this was how humans felt when they'd been truly ill. Perhaps this was how they felt when they were in a "decline." I knew from many long years of being around humans, going "into decline" was bad. Could this be what was happening to me? I'd made some small improvement during my stay, but any improvement I'd made was now slipping away from me. I could feel myself getting weaker...each day I felt less able to do anything and doing anything was an effort. Was I dying?

I rarely let myself fall into such thoughts. I had the young master to think about. I had to encourage him to eat, encourage him to rest, and keep him amused. Even though I was ill, even though I was weak, what sort of butler would I have been to let such things stand in my way?

It was a relief, though, to see my young master slowly improve. His color was coming back, he slept well, and slowly, by infinitesimal degrees, his appetite began to come back. At each meal he ate a little more and after each nap or night of sleep he seemed better-rested. Now, if only I could get his worried expression to go away...As days went by it became a little worse and that wouldn't do at all...

Ciel's POV:

I had never seen Sebastian look like this. After a week in the infirmary, I was feeling much better, but he looked so terrible that I was beginning to feel scared. He had no color in his face, the shadows under his eyes were far more pronounced, and he seemed to have no strength left at all. He began sleeping more and while he ate, he seemed to only eat when forced to. One afternoon while Sebastian was asleep I begged (yes, BEGGED) Mr. Caldwell to do something.

"What's wrong with Sebastian?" I demanded as soon as he walked in the door.

"What's wrong?" he echoed. "What do you mean?"

"Look at him!" I ordered. "He looks terrible! There's something very, very wrong with him! Do something!"

Mr. Caldwell looked and he nodded. "I agree that he doesn't look well, but what would you have me do?"

He sounded far too flippant for me to remain calm. "You're an elemental!" I argued with him. "You have to know what to do for him if you're such a powerful being and so much older and...!"

"And I will," he promised, ruffling my hair. "Don't worry, I know how to remedy this, but it's not time for it yet."

"But he's dying!" I snarled. "Can't you see that?"

Mr. Caldwell looked at him and sighed.

"You don't even care!" I accused him. "What do you want, for him to die so you won't be troubled with him anymore? For him to die so there's no chance I'll get away from you?"

"You sound as if you don't want him to die," Mr. Caldwell said.

"I DON'T!" I shouted. Sebastian was so deeply asleep that I was sure I wouldn't wake him.

"And why not?" Mr. Caldwell wanted to know. "Do you really want your soul eaten, Ciel?"

"Sebastian has been a devoted servant," I said, mustering what dignity I could. "He has given his best effort at all times and he has accomplished tasks that no mere human could do. Even when it wasn't required of him, he saw to my comfort and happiness as well as he could. For those reasons alone, I would give him my soul if he wanted it. When he has finished the task that the two of us have begun and I gain my revenge, he will have more than earned my soul."

"So the only reason you don't want him to die is so he can eat your soul?" Mr. Caldwell said, sounding rather surprised. "Is that all?"

"No," I admitted. "I don't want him to die. That's all."

"And why not?" he asked. "After all, you're his prey. Why wouldn't you want the demon thirsting for your soul to die?"

"Why won't you leave it alone?" I snapped.

"Would you miss him, Ciel?" he asked quietly. I almost didn't hear him. "Would you look for his face, listen for his footstep, strain to hear his voice, if he isn't there?"

The mental images those questions raised burned my mind's eye just as tears burned my physical eyes. "Yes!" I gasped. "I don't care that he's a demon! I don't want to lose Sebastian! He's...he's too important to me! I care for him just as much as I would a human!" It was one thing that I'd never wanted to admit to myself, let alone to someone else, but I'd said it. Even as I said the words, I realized they were true. I would miss him. I didn't want to lose him. The thought of losing him was too painful for me to contemplate.

Mr. Caldwell smiled, a soft, sad smile that surprised me into silence. "Then I shall do my best to save him," he said softly, ruffling my hair again. "But we have to wait until it's time in order for Sebastian to gain as much benefit from it as possible, all right?"

"When will it be time?" I pressed. I still hadn't recovered my equanimity and my impatience was too great to keep quiet on this issue.

"Not long," he told me. "I may need your help. Would you be willing to help me, Ciel?"

This could be dangerous for me. I was willing to do whatever it took to help Sebastian, of course, but not if it required me to put myself in danger. Sebastian wouldn't thank me for that at all. A hungry demon could be a cranky demon and a demon who lost his chance of dinner would be...I didn't really want to think about that. Even if I did something that got me killed, Sebastian would find me and get revenge. Of that, I could be sure. "What would I have to do?"

"You would have to help me make a medicine for Sebastian," he said. "That's all."

"That's all?" Images of grinding herbs and mixing magic potions filled my head. "Is it difficult?"

"No, your part will be easy," he told me. "Cecilia will be helping us, too."

I nodded. "All right, then. I'll help you make it. When will we be doing this?"

Mr. Caldwell glanced up at the sky through the window. "Tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night?" I glanced at Sebastian. He was so asleep that he was entirely limp. Would he last that long? "Not tonight?"

"Tomorrow night will be the dark of the moon," he explained. "The medicine will be more powerful then and Sebastian will receive more of a benefit from it."

"Will he make it till then?" I asked, voicing the concern that was uppermost in my mind.

"Oh, yes, he'll make it," Mr. Caldwell assured me. "I promise, Ciel."

I didn't sleep well that night. I kept waking up during the night to check on Sebastian. His breathing was quiet and even and his skin was cool rather than hot with fever, but he still looked terrible. His skin was as white as wax and his lips were gray. When I took his hand his fingers lay limp in mine. He didn't even know I was there. He was so deeply asleep that he couldn't sense me. It was as if he'd just become a huge doll.

I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I was scared. I knew that what strength I had today, I owed to Sebastian. I'd been a powerless child in the hands of my captors. I knew that if Sebastian hadn't come, I would have died a painful death. I knew that everything I had today, I owed to Sebastian's strength. Even my feelings of safety and security I owed to him. After all, I had a demon's strength to protect me. Nothing mortal could kill me and weapons would never strike me as long as I had Sebastian's protection. I knew I could trust him with my safety. If I lost him, then I would lose those feelings that made me feel capable of getting up and facing the world. If I lost Sebastian, then I would be a frightened, powerless child again. If I lost him, I would lose all that I had gained...and I would lose a friend I trusted.

Sebastian's POV:

I'd once been told that I would know when I was dying. My body seemed to get quieter and quieter as time went by and trying to move became so difficult that I lacked the energy to try. The world seemed to lose its color and sounds only reached me after traveling a great distance, it seemed. The only thing that I was still strongly aware of was the link I shared with my master. Between my mark of contract and his, there seemed to be a bright string of light and warmth that I could feel at all times. At the moment, it was the brightest and strongest thing in my world aside from my regret that I could no longer serve my master and I would be unable to taste his soul before I died. Pity, that, but there it was.

Aside from my regret, I wished that Marcellus was there. Oh, I had a son's respectful regard for his parents and a deep, abiding respect for my grandparents, but Marcellus was the first family member to treat me with such human affection. I had a theory that that was why I was so attached to him and that that was why human children were so attached to their parents. Was it the type and quality of affection that determined the strength of the attachment, or was it something that I, as a demon, could not grasp?

I wished I could ask my young master about it.

Sebastian?

Now, who was making noise? Didn't they understand that I wanted to sleep?

Sebastian?

Couldn't they let me alone? I was sure I knew the voice, but at the moment I didn't care who it was. I was too tired.

Sebastian, what's wrong?

How to answer that question? More to the point, did I want to? No, not really. I wanted to sleep.

No! No! Don't die!

Die? Ah, so I was right. The final adventure was imminent...

Sebastian!

I doubted that the voice could pull me back. Things were becoming dark...

"Sebastian?"

A different voice this time, sonorous and deep and ancient. Not a demon, but something older...Augustus, maybe? My eyes opened and I found myself staring up at the night sky. I was lying on my back on the grass and the sky was awash with stars. How had I gotten outside?

"Sebastian?"

Yet another voice. What did these voices want? Suddenly, the young master's face was above me, frowning down at me in worry. "Young master," I croaked, more than surprised. What was he doing here? Had I died? Was I about to die? What was going on?

"This is an order," he said sternly. "You are not to die, do you hear me, Sebastian?"

Somehow, I still had the strength to smile. "I wish I could oblige you, young master, but there are some things that you cannot stop with an order."

His eyebrows went up and his frown darkened. "So you're giving up?" he shouted, deafening me. Perhaps I wasn't dead yet. "What kind of butler are you?"

That pricked my heart. I was still his devoted butler, even if I was dying. Wouldn't he be relieved that I was dying? If I died, he wouldn't have to give his soul to me... I knew that he feared that end, even though he knew there was nothing he could do to change it. Also, he wanted what I could give him too much to try to end the contract. I knew he was afraid of being devoured by me and what would happen to his soul once I'd eaten it... "I'm one hell of a butler, young master."

"Then prove it! Stay with me!" he snapped. His gaze shifted away from me and fixed on someone nearby. "Are you almost done?"

"Ready for you now, Ciel," I heard Augustus say.

Somehow, I found the strength to turn my head. Augustus and Cecilia were standing by a stone bench covered with an array of equipment. What on earth were they up to?

"Cecilia, my dear, you stand here on my right and Ciel, you'll be on my left," Augustus said, his back to me as they took their positions. "Good. Now, hold your hands over the bowl..."

A flash of knives, gasps from both children, and then the scent of blood on the air.

"Don't move your hand, Ciel!" Augustus admonished the young master, his hand reaching out to hold the young master's hand in place. "We need more of your blood than one little trickle!"

"You didn't tell me you'd be doing that!" my young master argued. "That hurt!"

"It's just one slash, Ciel," Cecilia said evenly, trying to make peace.

"You told me I'd be helping you make a medicine!" he growled, ignoring Cecilia's efforts at peace-making.

"And so you are," Augustus said evenly. "I just didn't tell you that I needed your blood in order to make it."

"You bastard."

Cecilia gasped. "Ciel!"

"I'm not apologizing for that!"

I was too tired to be amused. I could feel what little sensation I had left in my limbs ebbing away...

"Enough, youngsters," Augustus said. "All right, that should do it. Cecilia, let me see your hand."

I watched, revolted and a bit fascinated, as Augustus drew his tongue across his daughter's palm. Just like that, the wound closed. He let go of her hand and reached for my young master's hand, but he moved it out of reach.

"I'll just let it heal on its own," he said quickly. "Really."

Augustus handed him a folded handkerchief. "Put some pressure on it, then. Now, let's finish this up."

I didn't understand everything he was doing. I saw different dried herbs and powders stirred into the bowl that held my master's and Cecilia's blood, and suddenly, the whole thing caught fire. My eyes watered at the sudden brightness and I saw both children shield their eyes from it. Funny, that flare of light made me feel a bit more alive. Interesting.

"What was that?" my master gasped, staring at the bowl.

"The medicine's almost ready. Now, to take down the wards."

Cecilia looked surprised. "Why do you need to do that, Papa?"

"When I made the wards, I didn't count on a demon running afoul of them," he explained. "They latched onto him and since then, they've been draining him. At the same time, his body's been fighting them. He's been so weak lately because his body's running out of strength to fight them. When I take them down, they'll stop draining him and we'll be able to give him the best chance of recovery."

"Why didn't you take them down sooner?" my young master demanded.

"If I'd taken them down sooner and we gave him the medicine sooner, it wouldn't have been as strong and it would have taken him longer to recover," Augustus clarified. "I didn't realize what the wards had been doing to him until early yesterday morning. Now, it's time to finish this."

So saying, he slashed his wrist over the bowl, allowing his blood to fall into it. If I'd been standing, the smell would have knocked me over. It smelled as strong to me as brandy would have smelled to a human. I could feel myself drifting away from it all as I watched him lick his wrist, closing the wound, and he carried the bowl over to me...things were beginning to go dark again...

SEBASTIAN!

Ah, there was that voice again...really, it was so familiar...

Fire flowed into my mouth and I choked. What...what was that? What was it? I fought to turn my head away from it, but a strong hand held me where I was, forcing more fire into my mouth and it flowed down my throat, burning me up from the inside...

The first scream surprised me. Who was screaming at this hour of the night? The second and third scream annoyed me even more. Honestly, everyone was going to be woken up by that person...A fourth scream made me realize that the sound was coming from my own throat, and the sudden warmth in my body told me that I was very, very much alive. I screamed again as that warmth became fire.

I thought I'd experienced pain before this. If I'd been able to, I would have laughed at such naivete. Before this, I hadn't known what pain was. The purest, strongest, and most relentless pain had me in its grasp and its grip was tightening...tightening...how could one being be in so much pain and NOT die?

With one final assault, the pain pushed me firmly back into my body and held me there, closing off any possible avenues of escape. As it faded, I could feel myself settling back into every inch of my body, sensation returning to my limbs and breath returning to my lungs. My heart began to beat again and suddenly my cool skin became warm. I could feel things again...what little color there was at night blazed bright in my eyes. What the blazes had happened? Suddenly, it was quiet.

"Sebastian?" a human said, approaching me. I snarled at him and he stopped. His soul...ah, his soul! Suddenly, I was ravenous! His soul was pure light...he dwelt in darkness, but it had failed to stain him...Such a soul would be an unequaled feast!

"Sebastian!" the human snapped. "What are you on about?"

The tone of voice brought me to my senses just as a wrist pressed against my open mouth. The blood someone was feeding me burned like fire, but if it would quell that hunger and keep me from devouring my master, then so be it. I drank and drank...I drank until I was bloated with it.

"Is he all right?" I heard as I let the wrist go. "For a moment, it looked as if he didn't recognize me."

"He's better than all right," Augustus said, licking his wrist to close the wound. "His instincts took over for a moment, that's all."

Slowly, I got to my feet, thankful that I was still alive. I'd thought that I would have been dead by now. Amazing how things could change so quickly. "My deepest apologies, young master," I croaked, my voice hoarse.

"I'll forgive you if you never scare me like this again," he growled.

I felt myself smile. "Ah, would you have missed me if I'd died, Bocchan?"

He looked supremely annoyed at the pet name. Yes, he was feeling better. "Don't attach too much importance to yourself. I just didn't want to go through the trouble of finding another butler, that's all."

I grinned at him. I knew better.

A feeling of confinement snapped up around us...it felt as if were woven into the walls that surrounded the estate...

"The wards," Augustus explained. "I've restructured them so they won't touch you, Sebastian."

"Thank you," I said, remembering what he'd said about the wards draining me. "Let me guess: the young master and I won't be able to leave the estate, correct?"

"You're one hell of a butler," Augustus said.

The young master and I exchanged glances. We wouldn't be escaping this night, but we would...soon. It was a silent promise from us to Augustus. Now that I was better, he would have one hell of a butler to watch out for...