Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless

Authors note: SPOILERS for 3x06 don't read if you haven't seen it!

Set the morning after Terry Milkovich's surprise early return. Mickey and Ian thoughts.

Chapter 1: In my head

Mickey POV

The thoughts screaming in my head could bring to tears almost any guy but I didn't shed a tear. I didn't cry when I got shot- either time. I didn't cry when my dad beat my face in for catching me doing the one thing that a Milkovich can NEVER do. And I sure as hell didn't cry when I saw Ian's face as that Russian slut was riding the gay out of me. But I wanted to each time. I'm Mickey Milkovich though so I can't do it.

Laying here in my bed thinking about crying was still pretty damn crazy if you knew anything about me. But I guess I have broken a lot of my own rules lately. All for that fucking Gallagher. Fuck I just want to scream but I don't want to wake the blacked out Terry snoring in the front room. So i just take some pills and try to shut my mind the fuck up and the pain in my face. And of course my first thoughts go to Ian. what am I supposed to do? What am I going to say to him? How are we going to get past this?

Wait I already know just cut him loose before he ruins everything. All he has brought me is trouble. Yeah he would just fuck it and leave it be. I could find another job and stick to chicks from now on and it will fix it all... but .. but what? That kiss the "date" they had it all filled my mind and I couldn't even think anymore. Fuck! Why can't these drugs kick in already?! I couldn't just leave it. I couldn't leave him. It was hard the first time around. You're nothing but a warm mouth. The words echoed in my head and I almost wanted to cry again. God why the hell am I feeling shit for him. I tried to ignore it for too long and now it was overpowering. Was it love? Fuck I can't even believe I thought that and I would never be able to say it out loud so really what could I offer him? Nothing but maybe that's just a terrible lie. But love? The last thought before I was in a not so blissful sleep.

Ian POV

This shit is going to kill me. Playing around in the slop they called breakfast was more fun than eating it. I can feel Lips eyes on me well more on my face. I didn't give any explanation when I came in late to work yesterday. Even though Linda was pissed and Lip was worried. Thank God she signed my papers so I didn't get in trouble for all the time I was unaccounted for. But Lip knew he shouldnt try to push me but he could also tell that I wasnt ok. How was I supposed to be ok? My world just got fucked up.

I knew how it would play out. I would never see him again. That is just who he is. He would never risk it again. Ever since Mickey kissed me I fell even more in love with him because at that moment I knew that it wasn't completely one-sided. He felt something. And then we actually hung out together and spent the night together and it was all different. Like an unspoken agreement. Don't bring up the feelings we have just enjoy it. And I was well until Terry. Until I saw Mickey being forced to fuck some hooker.

My face must have given my thoughts away because I felt Lips's had on my back. "Are you alright?"

"Don't worry about me. Lets worry about Fiona's hopefully good news so we can get the hell out of here"

"Is that what it is? You worried that she isn't going to come through? Cuz you know she is doing every-"

"It's not ok I trust her. Just leave it."

"What happened at Mickey's?" Shit how did he even know where I was. I didn't tell him. I guess it wasnt hard to figure out. Shock written on my face I look at him not hiding my pain.

"I cant right now ok." He must have got it because he slapped my shoulder as he got up to go meet Fi before his community service. I composed myself before following suit.

"What the hell happened?" Fiona yelled as soon as she saw me. "Which one of those little fuckers did this?"

"It wasnt any of them ok and don't worry I can take care of myself ok?" I didnt mean to be cold but I cant do this shit right now. I turn away from her and walk towards the bus stop. Lip yells for me but I just ignore it.