Chapter 7 - An Unusual Meeting
As they made their way to the rubbish heap that the Changlings called home, Maurice listened as the stupid looking kid talked about his music. Being a musician was apparently more than just a job for him – it was a calling. Apparently, some humans had them. These meant that the humans spent their time doing something that they found fulfilling, and which became a part of their sense of self. Some people in the medical profession had this. So did members of various religions (although Maurice could not help but feel, in that latter case, that their 'calling' was for having work out of the cold and the wet, and which did not involve a lot of heavy lifting).
They reached the rubbish heap, and it was only then that Maurice started to feel some level of trepidation. He knew that humans and rats had a long and not exactly pleasant history. Rats lived as pests near humans; humans put down poison with the intention of killing rats. Suddenly, the thought of introducing a human to the Changeling rats did not seem like such a good idea.
The stupid looking kid looked around himself, as though wondering about what was going to happen next. "You have friends that live here?" he asked at last, leaning down and whispering in Maurice's ear.
"Patience," replied Maurice, "you'll meet them soon enough."
They waited for a few more minutes. Then, there was movement from within the heap. The rat that Maurice recognised as Peaches was moving around, sniffing, and looking wary. She saw Maurice, and startled slightly, when she saw the stupid looking kid.
"Hello Peaches," said Maurice, "This is my friend and companion. He would like to meet Dangerous Beans. Can you ask him to meet us, please?"
The rat looked from one to the other, then darted away.
The stupid looking kid and Maurice were left in an awkward silence.
Finally, and to Maurice's relief, Dangerous Beans emerged from the heap. For a moment, he sniffed the air, and turned his attention towards the direction of the stupid looking kid. "Good day," he said politely, "I understand that you are a companion of Maurice's. How may I be of assistance?"
Maurice held his breath, wondering what would happen next. He half expected the stupid looking kid to say something stupid, such as 'You're a talking rat', or to run away screaming.
He did neither. He gave Maurice a quick, slightly questioning glance, and then bowed ever so slightly towards Dangerous Beans, "I understand that you are a friend of Maurice," he said carefully, "and he wanted me to meet you. I understand that you are the one that they call Dangerous Beans?"
The little white rat nodded, "We are the Changelings. We were once like other rats, however, having lived in this place," he indicated the rubbish heap with his right front right paw, "we have been changed in ways that we could not have predicted, and so we now call ourselves Changelings. We have ingested food thrown here from the Unseen University, which has given us intelligence and sentience. I am, as you correctly assumed, Dangerous Beans," he gave a little laugh, "I understand that our names might seem strange to you, but we have chosen them based on the labels that we have read around this place. Many of these labels, and thus the names that we have chosen for ourselves, relate to food in some ways, such as consisting of food items, Tomato, Peaches, and Sardines, for example. Also, words connected with food, but not actually food items, such as Fresh and Nourishing."
The stupid looking kid nodded, "It is nice to meet you," he said.
The little white rat stared up at him, with barely seeing eyes. Yet, Maurice sensed that he was slightly puzzled by how well the interaction seemed to be going. "Please forgive my directness," he said carefully, "but most humans, when interacting with rats, are less…accepting of our kind."
"I had a friend of mine who had a pet rat, when we both were children, both growing up in the Musicians' Guild," the stupid looking kid explained, "the rat was a very nice companion, and very clean," he shrugged slightly, "I guess that makes me slightly more accepting of rats than people who have not had as much to do with them."
"Ah, that would, I guess, explain why you are more accepting of us than I would have expected," said Dangerous Beans, "and I ask, once more, how may I be of assistance to you?"
The boy shrugged, and indicated Maurice, "I understand that Maurice is a friend of yours, and wanted me to meet you."
Maurice turned his attention from the stupid looking kid, towards Dangerous Beans, "That is exactly right," he said, "I believe that we might all be able to help each other."
By now, more rats had emerged from the heap, and they listened as Maurice explained what had happened at the Musicians' Guild. Some seemed interested, some seemed sceptical, but they all appeared to listen carefully to what Maurice was telling them. Finally, he finished, "So, you see, my client cannot stay in Ankh-Morpork. He could travel to other places, of course, playing his music. But, he wants something to set him apart, to make him stand out from other musicians, a unique selling point, some quality that no other musician possess."
"That is all very interesting," said Dangerous Beans carefully, "but I fail to see what that has to do with us."
"Patience," replied Maurice, "it will all become clear, in a short while. But first, Dangerous Beans, I wish to ask you a question: what is it that you actually want?" Play this carefully, Maurice told himself – if I can get him by the desire, then the other rats will follow. I think I know what he will say, but I have to be sure.
Dangerous Beans sighed, "I want to be able to live in peace," he said, "I am not sure how to achieve that, but I want the Changelings to be able to live somewhere where we will not be hunted or poisoned. I want the young of our Clan to grow up without fear, and the older rats to be able to discover their talents and to be able to live up to their potential."
Ah, just as I thought, Maurice mused. Aloud, he said: "Which is where I come in; I believe that we can all help each other, and that we can all benefit from co-operating with one another."
"Hmph," said Hamnpork, an old-fashioned rat, who was still, technically, the leader of the Clan, "I don't like the idea of co-operating with a human. Humans kill rats. And a cat can't be trusted," he added, just loud enough for Maurice to be able to hear.
"Your caution is noted," Dangerous Beans replied calmly, "however, at the very least, I can see no harm in discussing this matter, and in listening to what our friend Maurice has to say."
"Hmph," Hamnpork repeated, folding his arms across his chest. Maurice watched him for a moment, but it soon became obvious that he did not intend to say anything more.
Maurice therefore turned his attention to the entire Clan, who were now watching him with expressions ranging from excitement to scepticism. "You all know of Holy Wood, I understand?" he asked.
There was a general nodding of heads. Many of the rats, however, continued to regard Maurice with a level of trepidation. They still don't trust me, thought Maurice. Maybe they are not entirely stupid, after all. Only a fool would trust a cat; I know, I am a cat, and even I would not trust me, and I am me. He considered that sentence for a moment, and then cursed his intelligence for causing him to think it.
"What is Holy Wood?" asked the stupid looking kid.
Maurice turned his attention towards the stupid looking kid, "It was a few years ago now," he said, "animals of various species suddenly found that they could talk and think, in much the same way as these rats," he indicated the whole Clan, "and myself, are able to now."
"And they all went to this place called Holy Wood," that was Darktan, the trap expert – Maurice could always recognise him by the belts that he alone wore. Darktan seemed curious, but also wary, as he continued, "but I don't see what that has to do with Maurice and his human."
"Patience," said Maurice again, "it will all become clearer. In time, you will see that this is all connected."
"The Animals who went to Holy Wood," said Dangerous Beans, "learned to co-operate with each other. But Maurice never did tell us what happened to them next," he added.
"I have heard stories, tales, lots of rumours about these creatures," replied Maurice. That seemed to be a clever way of ensuring that, if everything he said turned out to be false, he would not have to face enraged rats – after all, he was only repeating what he had heard, and it was not his fault if it was nothing more than empty gossip, was it?
"Please, do tell us more," said Dangerous Beans.
"After Holy Wood, these Animals went to an island together," Maurice invented, "where they developed a society of Animals. As far as I know, they are still there."
"Ahem, and is all of this true, Maurice?" asked Peaches sceptically.
"As far as I am aware," Maurice replied airily.
"And there are humans on this island? asked Darktan, still watching Maurice warily.
"No," said Maurice, "at least, that is what I heard," he added.
"And you think that we might all be able to join them on this island?" asked Dangerous Beans, sounding hopeful.
Ah, now I've got him by the desire, thought Maurice – that's good. "That's one option," he said, "but there are other islands, not far from this one, you might want to live on one of them, and develop a society of educated rodents there."
Dangerous Beans nodded thoughtfully, "It is an enticing idea," he said carefully, "to develop a society where the Changelings can all live, free from hate and fear. But I fail to see how this young man," he indicated the stupid looking kid, "fits into this plan," he added.
"Ah, I'm glad you asked about that," said Maurice, glancing over towards the stupid looking kid, then back towards the rats, "you will all want to be able to get to the island, right? Across the water?"
"Can we swim there?" asked Sardines, dancing from side to side. That one can't stand still, even when he's excitedly listening to a story about a new life for himself and his Clan, thought Maurice, as Sardines politely removed his hat, "we're good at swimming," he added.
"No, it's much too far for that," said Maurice, "you will need boats to get there. Three should be enough, but ideally you'll have four."
"And this young man," Dangerous Beans nodded towards the stupid looking kid, "is able to get these boats for us to use?"
"Indirectly," replied Maurice, turning his attention from Dangerous Beans, towards the stupid looking kid, and back again, "he needs to play his music, but can't play here. So, we thought we would go to a nearby town. This young man can play his music there. I believe that he is a very talented musician. But, there are many talented musicians in the world. However, if he can play his pipe, and have rats dancing to his tunes, that should provide something special, something unusual, for customers to watch. And humans like things which are special and unusual. More importantly, they are prepared to pay for them."
Maurice turned to Sardines, who was watching him with interest, "You understand what I am saying, don't you?" he asked.
"I've got to dance, boss," he said, sounding excited, "and that's what Maurice wants us to do. To dance to the boy's music! To go to another place, to earn money from dancing to this boy's tunes. Oh, please, boss, let's do this! At least let us try!"
"Hmph," Hamnpork said again, "we're not tame, pet rats, dancing to the tune of a piper. I want nothing to do with humans," he gave the stupid looking kid what was, for him, an apologetic look, "no offense, kid," he added.
"None taken," said the stupid looking kid.
"But I'm afraid our leader does have a point," said Dangerous Beans, "we are not merely pets. We like our autonomy."
"It won't be for very long," said Maurice, "just for long enough so that you can earn the money that you need to be able to afford these boats, so that you can use these to reach the island."
"And what, exactly, does this young man get out of this arrangement?" asked Darktan. He seemed wary, but not totally dismissive of Maurice's plan.
"I just want to play my music," said the stupid looking kid, "I don't mind working with you, but, as you say, it will be a partnership between friends and colleagues. I promise that I will not treat you as pets." He bowed his head slightly, and the rats watched him carefully – still wary, Maurice noted – but now more hopeful than they had been before. The stupid looking kid continued, "The Musicians' Guild has increased the fee for playing music in the streets of Ankh-Morpork. I tried to reason with their representative, but he would not listen. So, it seems that I don't have any option but to go to a nearby town to play my music, at least for a while. I would be happy to have you all accompany me there."
Dangerous Beans nodded towards him, "Your willingness to cooperate and work with us is noted, and appreciated," he said, "and, speaking for myself, I would be happy working with you on this. But," he added, "I need to ensure that I have the consent of the entire Clan, before we agree to something as important as this."
"Of course," said the stupid looking kid.
"What I don't understand," said Darktan carefully, "is what Maurice himself gets out of this arrangement. It is not exactly in a cat's nature to do something out of the goodness of his heart," he gave Maurice a slightly apologetic smile, "no offense," he added.
"None taken," Maurice assured him, "and you are right. I intend to take a cut of the money that you earn, as your manager, and as the organiser and brains of this arrangement."
"And what does a cat need money for?" asked Hamnpork, his front paws still crossed over his chest, "a cat can't carry money, he has no hands, no pockets."
"Ah, I am glad that you asked," said Maurice, "I intend to store it, to hide it somewhere safe. Then, when I can find a kindly old lady to adopt me, I can bring her a few coins every month or so, ensuring that we are both able to live in comfort in our old age," he looked around at the rats, "I am not a young cat anymore," he explained, "I can feel old age slowly creeping up on me. I want to spend it in comfort, on an old lady's lap, or stretched out in front of her fire."
"Symbiosis," said Dangerous Beans thoughtfully, "three different races, three different types of creatures, all of us working together for our mutual benefit, to achieve a common goal."
"Exactly," said Maurice, "everyone benefits, no one loses very much. All this involves is a bit of cooperation and working together. It does not have to be for very long," he added quickly, as he could see that some of the rats were starting to look wary and unsure, "just long enough for us all to earn the money we need to live the lives we want. Then we can all go our separate ways. Surely, at the very least, it is worth a try? Just for a short while?"
"It sounds like a good plan," said the stupid looking kid, "but only if everyone agrees to it."
Dangerous Beans twitched his nose slightly, "Speaking purely for myself, this sounds like a very good plan. I believe that the inhabitants of Furry Bottom would approve of this plan," he added.
"Uh, Furry Bottom?" asked the stupid looking kid, now looking confused (as well as stupid).
"Have you heard of a book by the name of Mr Bunnsy Has An Adventure?" asked Dangerous Beans, looking up at the stupid looking kid.
"I've heard of it," replied the stupid looking kid, suddenly looking thoughtful, "my friend at the Musicians' Guild, the one I was telling you about earlier, the boy with the pet rat, he used to read those stories when he was small," the stupid looking kid looked as if he was trying to remember something for a moment, and then he continued, "now I remember, there was a rabbit in a waistcoat, a clever rat, a duck, and a snake that wore a tie. And they all went on adventures," he shrugged, "I don't remember much else about those stories," he admitted.
"That is perfectly okay," said Dangerous Beans, "and what you remember is correct. They all talked to the farmer, who would work with them and sometimes help them," he gave a happy sigh, "humans and Animals, all living in harmony, all working together to achieve goals that are of mutual benefit to all. We have read it many times," he gave an apologetic little cough, "or, to be more precise, my good friend Peaches," he nodded towards the female rat, "has read it to me many times, since I am practically blind, and therefore unable to read it for myself."
"Why?" asked the stupid looking kid, "I mean, why has she read it to you so many times?"
"Because," said Dangerous Beans, "we think that it can be used as our guide, giving us information and advice concerning how a perfect society of Animals and humans might be able to be created and organised. So, it is something that we value greatly."
"We think it's the source of knowledge concerning how our future could be, if only we could all learn to work together," added Sardines, doing a little dance as he addressed the stupid looking kid directly.
"Still, as I said before, I feel that the Clan must discuss Maurice's plan carefully, before any decision is reached concerning this," said Dangerous Beans, "although I would be quite happy cooperating with both of you, I do need to ensure that I have the agreement of the entire Clan, before we have such a drastic change in our way of life."
The stupid looking kid shrugged, "I don't mind waiting for a while," he said.
"Then, this time tomorrow," said Maurice, "we will all meet back here, and discuss what we have decided.
With that, there was general nodding in agreement, and then Maurice and the stupid looking kid left the rats, who began discussing the matter amongst themselves.
"That…is an interesting idea," said Dangerous Beans carefully, "but that would mean leaving our home, leaving Anhk-Morpork, leaving everything that we have ever known. This cannot be done lightly. I must discuss this with all of the Changelings, and with everyone else who might be involved in all of this. We have to consider all of the implications involved in this."