Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shameless

Chapter 7: No Rest for the Wicked

Mickey POV

I'm frozen. I can't do anything but stare at him. My own father. What did I just do? It was what I HAD to do right? Looking down I realize I am on my knees. I don't remember how long I have been like this but I know it was while, my legs are numb. So is my mind. My mind feels me getting up but I don't feel it physically. I run. I run as fast as I can. I need to stop but I can't. I finally find a good place to wipe and dump the gun. I start running again until I reach the hospital. I didn't even think as I walked in probably resembling a zombie.

How I asked the nurse where to find Ian I have no idea but now walking through the door I see him. Alive and well. I knew it. I should smile but I can't. I can't even move. He doesn't look up. I hear Lip instead of Ian. "What the hell are you even doing here?" I don't look at anybody I just walk up to the bed. Ian isn't looking at me. He looks mad but I don't know why. He finally looks at me. "Your shaking." His voice is tired and worn. I can't talk. I don't feel like I'm shaking but I raise my hand and it's moving violently.

"Mickey? Talk to me." I look into his eyes and I feel the numbness start to fade. But in the same instant I wish it wouldn't because my mind starts screaming at me. I killed my dad. Am I supposed to just say it? What would he say if he knew? Would he be afraid of me? I back up a step from my thoughts trying to distance myself. "Are you in shock?" It's Lip he sounds close but my eyes don't move. The door opens. "Mickey? Really what the hell?!" Its his sister. "It's about time assface!" And Mandy. Shit really I just need people to stop coming through that damn door now.

I walk a little too fast and slam the door locking it. Good. I sigh and relax my fore head on the door. It feels cool and nice. Fiona starts to go on a little bitch fit but I don't hear the words. Ian tells her to shut up that something is wrong. Shit why did he use those words? "Mickey?" I feel Mandys hand go to my shoulder as she says it. I shrug it off and move from the door pacing around the room not looking at anybody. Shit I am in shock aren't I? I stop at the foot of Ian's bed and look him in the eyes. "Sorry is for shit but I am uh.. you know s-sorry. But I need you to say I was here with you Ian. The entire time."

His confusion is instant. "What does that mean?"Dammit I don't want to be doing this. "It means that after getting shot in the ass to steal your boyfriends shit, I need you to do something for me! Ok Ian just please!"Mandy steps in front of me. "What did you do Mickey?" I can't look at her. "Mickey?"

"I did what I HAD to do!" I am pacing again. "I had to do it!" My hands are in my head now and I feel myself collapse on the floor. My mind was all over the place and it was all hitting me at once. Tears overflow and I furiously try to make them go away. He deserved it why am I feeling like this. For HIM. I don't love him so why? "I did it because he deserved it." I look to the bed to see Ians shocked wide eyes. "Right?"

Ian POV

Mickey "did what he had to do." What the hell does that mean? He collapses to the floor crying. "I did it because he deserved it." What? He didn't kill Terry? No he couldn't have. Could he? He looks at me questioningly. "Right?" Holy Shit. He is asking me if he deserved it. I can't speak. He killed Terry. I look to Mandy and her expression is unreadable. Shit I forgot Lip and Fiona were here. I look at them and I make the decision without thought. "He was here the entire time." I wasn't asking them to do it I was telling them. I can always count on Lip. "Ok." Fiona on the other hand can't. "You two have gone insane. We can't ju.."

"Fiona I fucking died! Sure it was only for minutes bit I technically died. What if I didn't come back? Would it be ok then!" I still don't even know how I am going to deal with Mickey actually doing it but I understand it. I can't really wrap my mind around it right now and I can't look at him because he will see the doubt. The doubt in him and us. "Ok fine he was here!" Fiona left as she said it Lip stayed locking the door back on her way out. Mandy still hasn't said anything and Mickey was still sitting on the floor looking down.

"Mandy?" She is starting to worry me. "Are you ok?" She looks at me and smiles. Not what I was expecting. "My dad is dead. I am actually doing great. You know why? Because he did deserve it." She kneels down to Mickey and forces his face up to hers. "You hear that. He deserved it." Mickey hesitates before he talks. "I know b-but.." He doesn't finish.

"But what?" I ask because I have to know what he is feeling. He pushes Mandy's hands away and gets up turning his back on us. "You two should leave." Shit I don't want to alone with him. Wait where did that come from? He is Mickey. He is the same person. Right? They go out the door as fast as they can not having to be told twice. "Ian I-I need you to tell me everything is going to be ok." I look at him with confusion. He wants reassurance? How can I give him that?

"I don't know that." He sits beside me on the bad and takes my hand. I flinch a little but he doesn't say anything about it.'" I mean us." Oh that is what he wants. "You have to tell me what you were going to say about him deserving it." I felt his hand shake a little. "He did deserve it. You know that too right?" How could he even think that. "Yeah he did but YOU killed him. He deserved to die but you pulled the trigger and I can't wrap my head around that!" He let's go of my hand and gets up. "I did this for you. I did this for us!"

"No don't say that! I can't hear that right now!" He stops and kicks a table over. "But I did Ian and I can't take it back. I fucking love you and he would have been back to finish the job. It was my fault and I had to fix it. But if you want to sit here and judge me I won't fucking be here for it." He heads for the door. Shit. "Wait.. Mickey WAIT!" He doesn't look back and the door slams closed. He is gone again. What am I supposed to do? Fiona comes in before I can think much on this fucked up situation. "Tony is here." He follows right after. Shit I need to clear my head for this. "I'll make this fast don't worry. I talked to Iggy and he told me an interesting story. About Terry and him planning this. Do you know why?"

I just shrug as non chalauntly as i can. "No idea." Just go away already. "So you don't know that they want you dead beacuse of Mickey?" Shit he told him about that. I still just sit looking at my hands wanting this to be over. All I can think about was Mickey. "I went to question Terry and I found him shot in the head." Oh fuck. "So the real question is where is Mickey?"