Chapter 10: Blue
There was a time in my life when I had felt some sense of safety. I couldn't remember it well, but I know it was there, and my dreams searched for it on a nightly basis. My frazzled mind tried to grasp all the goodness it could remember. I recall my mother's scent of lavender. Was it soap, a perfume, or maybe a lotion? Renee Caroline Swan. Daddy first met her when they were sixteen. They had me two years later, and moved from the city lights of Seattle, to the sticks of Colorado. It took a lot of persuasion to get my mother on board, but Charlie's charm won her over in the end. Unfortunately, she died when I was too young to even remember her face.
After her passing, Charlie acted as if she had never existed. The mere mention of her name threw him into a deep depression that lasted for days. I never understood it. He lost her, and then left me to fend for myself in a dark, lonely world. He worked day in and day out. Then, when he started drinking, he became mean. There wasn't a thing in the world that he wasn't mad about; for any reason he could think of.
I was eighteen once. My dreams always had me looking better physically than my subconscious knew I did. Bruises and cuts weren't shown, even to myself. They were hidden, always hidden. Funny how I knew to hide them, even at a young age. After being pulled from school when I was fourteen, it was a rare day when I would leave Stone Meadow. A day that came maybe twice a year. Because of my seclusion, I got to know the property better than anyone ever had.
I knew where the cows slept at night, and where the river ended against the neighbors line. The land went on for miles. O'Ryan was my eager horse, always wanting to run away, just like me. Charlie didn't start hitting me until I was old enough to control my emotions. If I cried, it only made him angrier. If I yelled, he only hit me harder. He hated himself, he hated his life, he hated me for being a part of Renee. I lived, and she didn't. He would never forgive me for that.
Some say that certain people aren't meant to be parents. In this life, you have to get a license to drive a car, to even go fishing; but they'll let anyone be parent. No one thinks of the child.
Maybe Charlie tried. God knows he didn't try very hard. But then again, maybe he could have been worse. I would never know. I left him in the middle of the night on my eighteenth birthday. My body and my mind didn't leave that place unscathed. I left with nightmares and scars. I rode O'Ryan all the way to Telluride and sold him for a bus ticket. It was my only regret: selling my best friend. He saved me, though, and I would never forget that. And just like my scars, I would never forget Charlie.
Someone shook me awake. My eyes fluttered open to the dim light of dawn breaking outside the windows. Rosalie hovered over me.
"You were having a nightmare," She whispered. I shook my head for clarity and sat up in my queen bed.
"Did Seth hear?" I asked nervously. Rose shook her head. I breathed easily and rubbed my eyes. Rosalie pushed off her pink, polka dotted, sleep blinder.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"It's all right. Wanna talk about it?"
"No, I'm fine. I can never remember them anyway," I lied. She knew I would spend the better half of my morning shaking off that bad dream of forgotten memories.
After breakfast with Seth and a sad goodbye between the two most important people in my life, I strode along the streets of Telluride for two hours with my best friend. We stopped in at every shop, and met anyone who was friendly enough to converse. People here viewed Rosalie as some rare diamond that they would never get to see again, especially the men. It was comical, and she was enjoying herself.
We finally made it to the store we came to town for, dozens of purchases later. Apparently Rosalie was becoming obsessed with antiques. She claimed that it was her new thing, and that she wanted to bring parts of Colorado home with her... Not like her mansion needed anymore things, though.
The pet store was busy with children and their parents. I skipped over to the puppies excitedly. Seth's birthday was Friday and he had forgotten all about it. I suppose a girl can do that to a boy, though. Rosalie gave me the idea to adopt a dog, as long as she could pay half. I didn't argue. Even Edward thought it was a good idea. Now my only problem was finding the right one.
The pet store had cute small dogs, but I was looking for something in particular. When I didn't spot it, I turned to leave, but Rosalie wasn't behind me. I checked the other isles and then the front desk. I frowned. Then, I looked back out to the sidewalk, and saw Rosalie, as she stood next to an elderly man. I walked outside and paused by the pet store entrance to listen.
The man was rugged and dirty with long facial hair. His clothes had holes in them. I felt bad for the guy. A small dog sat at his feet.
"Yeah, two hundred dollars," The man said. I raised my eyebrows in surprise.
"He's worth more, but I'll take what I can get. Poor thing is starving."
"Four hundred, but you promise he's good for it?" Rose asked.
"Yes, ma'am," The gentleman replied, nodding his head quickly. "All's ya got to do is whistle. And he don't even need a leash. His name is Blue." Rosalie squatted down to the animal and as she whistled, he barked. She stood back up and dug through her giant purse.
"He better know cows," She mumbled.
"Knows nothing else," The man noted humbly. Rose gave him four, crisp, one hundred dollar bills. The owner thanked her profusely, then kissed his animal on the head before scurrying off.
"What the hell?" I asked.
"Bought a dog," Rose replied shamefully.
"Uh, yeah. I can see that. Why this dog?"
"He's a Blue Heeler, just like you wanted," She argued. "And you won't have to deal with house training the mangy thing. He's barely over a year old." I sighed then whistled. The dog was at my side immediately. I raised my eyebrows, impressed already. His collar was old and brown, but you could see that it was once a bright blue color.
"See?"
"Fine, but I'm paying you half."
"Duh," Rose said. And I laughed. "Why did you pay him double?" She shrugged and stepped over to me.
"Poor guy was just trying to get home to California after losing work here. Seth is going to love him." I beamed down at Blue and patted his head. He panted happily.
"But first," Rose added with a scrunched up nose, "He needs a good bath." I laughed and we went back into the pet store with our dog.
Blue looked brand new after a bath: With his new, bright, sky blue collar, food in his belly, and fresh shots from the local veterinarian. I had spent all day in Telluride with Rosalie, but now it was time to say goodbye. It was harder than I had anticipated, and I couldn't let go of her neck as we cried.
"It's too hard knowing that you're so far away," I uttered.
"I know," She soothed. "But we'll be in the same place again soon." We pulled apart and she held me at arms length.
"Even if I have to move to the sticks," She finished. I laughed through my tears and swiped at my face.
"Take care of Seth, but take care of you, too. I want dirty details ASAP," She ordered.
"Dirty details?" I asked.
"I saw that Horseshoe lesson, and that heated slow dance, missy." I groaned. Rosalie nudged me, and I smiled.
"It was pretty beautiful," I admitted sheepishly.
"There's my girl," She said encouragingly. She glanced back to her Lexus across the street. With one more hug, and more promises to call each other soon, she left, taking with a part of me.
Stone Meadow came into my vision through a rain splattered windshield. Another summer storm had come and past at its usual hour. I took my time driving home, my mind welcomed the quiet. It seemed that my predicament was brightening, yet I still felt like I was trapped behind a boulder and it pinned me from breaking free.
Half of me was out.
Did I need to be saved?
Could I do it myself?
Jacob would come for me sooner or later. Rosalie believed that he had given up, but I knew him better. His hooks were deep within me. I crashed back to reality as I pulled up beside my childhood homestead. I turned to Blue, who sat up alert in the passenger seat.
"Welcome home," I whispered, and he licked my hand. I got out of my Land Rover and whistled once, and Blue was at my feet, and he didn't stray.
Seth and Garrett came out of the house. As soon as my son saw Blue, he grinned widely.
"A dog?" He asked excited.
"Happy early birthday, baby," I told him. It was hard to believe that my son was almost fifteen. That brought me closer to thirty-four and made me groan inwardly. Seth ran over and knelt down before Blue. The dog that was grey with tan legs and black spots across his back, licked Seth's face, eagerly.
"His name is Blue, and he's from Aunt Rosalie, too."
"Thanks Mom!" Seth stood up and threw his long, dark arms around me. I couldn't remember the last time we hugged. Being an excited boy, he let me go all too soon.
"Come on, Blue!" Seth called, jogging away towards the empty pasture. Garrett ran after him, but Blue didn't move from my feet.
"Whistle!" I yelled out to Seth. He did as told and Blue shot into a sprint, catching up with the boys immediately. That dog would fit in perfectly here.
I popped the back of my car open and grabbed Blue's new food dish. Just before lunging the large bag of Pedigree out, Edward came up beside me grinning from ear to ear. I followed his eyes out to the boys in the pasture. The were now throwing sticks, laughing as Blue went for every one of them.
"You found a good one?"
"That we did," I replied proudly. I reached for the dog food.
"Here, let me," He offered politely. I blushed. His arm grazed mine just enough to ignite a spark within me. Something new and unknown pulsed hot through my veins. I wondered if he had thought about last night as much me.
Edward threw the bag of dog food over his shoulder and walked towards my house. I grabbed what few bags I had, closed my trunk and followed behind him quickly. I stepped inside and let the screen door close behind me.
"Where would you like it?" He asked.
"Oh, uh, the pantry. Please." Edward walked into the kitchen and opened the pantry door. He lowered the heavy bag down easily.
"Thanks," I told him. "I bought some pork chops, too," I said.
"Sounds delicious. We need a good meal before we head out tomorrow," He said. I nodded enthusiastically, excited all over again for our small trip.
Just as I stepped into the kitchen, my boot slipped on the tile, throwing me onto my hip with a loud pop. I flinched in pain and groceries littered the floor. That would leave a colorful bruise. Edward was at my side immediately. His firm grasp wrapped around my tiny arm and pulled me upward. I hobbled until I was on two feet and collided with his chest. His musky scent shot down my throat leaving flames in its wake. I tried to swallow, but Edward hadn't let go of my arm, and his warm breath washed over my face.
"I'm sure Jules and Alice will come help cook. I've got a couple more horses to tend to," He said quietly. I nodded and looked up. His green eyes searched mine for the answers to all of his unspoken questions. I could see the fight he was in with himself. It saddened me to see him fighting the same fight I was.
We stayed still, frozen and equally mesmerized by one another. He had to notice how close our mouths were, how it would hardly take any movement to close the small space.
I was weak, and that's why I lunged forward, crashing my lips to his. It shocked him, but he recovered quickly. Our mouths twisted and meshed together as a whole. With one hand still gripping my arm, Edward's other long hand snaked up my back until it was at the nape of my neck beneath my mound of hair. He squeezed tightly, and I groaned into his mouth, opening myself to him. His tongue hit mine. Electricity became bolts of lightning, and everything around me became him.
We walked, stumbling over cans of corn and packs of meat until my tailbone collided with the countertop. His hips hit mine in the most pleasurable way. My right hand reached up to grip his hair at the base of his neck while my other latched onto his belt buckle. His cowboy hat shielded my eyes from the overhead light. Our tongues massaged one another deeply. He tasted even better than he smelled.
Time slipped away.
How long had we been kissing?
The abrupt sounds of our children stepping onto the front porch caused us to rip apart. Edward shot backwards to the opposite end of the kitchen. I tried to catch my breath. His green eyes disappeared beneath his hat when he looked down to the floor in shame. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to hold and comfort him. His touch didn't scare me. There was a certain softness to his rough grab and kiss.
"I'm sorry," We both blurted in unison. His eyes shot back to mine and he shook his head slowly. Again, I found myself wishing that his mouth would speak what his eyes were trying to tell me.
Then, Blue was at my feet wagging his nub tail. I knew kissing Edward was a mistake, but he kissed me back. At least it was something we both shared even though we both knew it shouldn't have happened. I bent down to pick up my scattered groceries as Seth, Jules, and Garrett bounded into the kitchen noisily.
Would they take notice of the new storm in the air? When I looked up again, Edward was gone. My blurry eyes could see three teenagers laughing and joking beside me, but my ears couldn't hear them over the shattering of my heart. I peered out the kitchen window to see Edward stalking out towards the barn. He ripped his hat off and pulled on his auburn hair angrily.
My excitement over our kiss, and for our trip tomorrow, vanished into the dark blue storm we had created.
As always, THANK YOU Sunflower3759
for your Beta work!
All right... So they finally kissed, yeah?! Now what... ;)