Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0 and its characters do not belong to me.

...

Steve sat on the edge of his bed, clutching his phone tightly in his hand as he stared at the screen. His fingers hovered over one name as he battled with himself. His heart urged him to give Danny a call.

Yet, he knew better…

He might be clueless at times, but he wasn't a complete idiot. If it had been any clue at all, the fact that he hadn't seen Danny in the past week told him everything he needed to know. It had turned out exactly the way he feared it would.

He had never dared to come to terms with his feelings, never once dreamt that he and Danny could be together because he had feared driving his partner away. And that is exactly what happened. Really… he should have kept those feelings bottled up for good. Because now, he had lost his best friend.

It was funny, really… He had grown up used to being alone. When he had ended up being so dependent on someone, he had no idea. Danny wasn't just his partner and best friend. Danny was his family. Danny, Grace and Charlie… They had somehow wiggled their way into the small fist-sized organ in his chest and the thought of losing them left a gaping hole in its place.

What was he going to do now? He couldn't lose them. He just couldn't lose his family…

The weight in his chest caused him to slump forward, hanging his head low as he held back the emotions burgeoning in his chest. He didn't know why it hurt so much. All his tests had put him in the clear. Yet, there was an almost unbearable and persistent ache that had embedded itself in his sternum since the moment Danny had walked out the door. He pressed his palm against the ache that intensified each time he thought of his partner. The ache that he was sure would never leave him.

"I miss you, Danny.. I miss you.." He whispered into the silence, a stray tear sliding down his cheek as he breathed through the agony in his chest.

He held back the sobs in his throat as he heard the door click open. He hurriedly wiped away the incriminating tears on his face. He looked up, hoping against all logic that it would be Danny standing at the door. And as usual, his hopes ended up in disappointment. It wasn't Danny…

The ache in his chest continued growing. He needed his Danno…

"Doctor's cleared you, got your meds here. You all set to go?" Chin asked him.

He really wasn't. There was just one thing missing. One thing he sorely needed…

He was getting discharged today. And each time he had gotten discharged from the hospital, it had always been Danny who would see through it. It was always Danny who would bombard the doctors with a million questions. It was always Danny who would nag him about the doctor's advice. It was always Danny who would keep track of all his medication schedule and follow-up appointments. It was always Danny who would self-invite himself to stay over at his place though he really never needed it. It was always Danny…

But not this time… This time when he really needed his partner, Danny wasn't there with him.

And he probably never would be again.

He had lost his best friend and the sooner he came to terms with it, the better. Danny wasn't coming. Not this time. Not ever...

He looked up at his colleague, nodding slightly. "Let's go." He said, the weight in his chest suffocating him.

…

He was drifting off into a drug-induced haze when he heard something ringing in the background. The soft sound of waves gently washing the shore was interrupted with a rhythmic buzzing. He cracked his eyes open, coming face to face with the glaring sun. He blinked against the brightness that he had sorely missed, soaking in the warmth from the golden orb. The buzzing continued and his head cleared up enough for him to realize that his doorbell was ringing.

He groaned as he turned and straightened himself up. Slight regret clawed itself into his chest as his muscles retaliated against his decision to fall asleep on the chairs in his lanai. But really, his feet had operated on auto-pilot, leading him to the chairs that was his special spot with Danny. His safe space. Where he knew he was never alone. Because that was where his friendship with Danny had started and since then… since then, through every happy, sad, or even painful moments, Danny would always be right next to him. They had always shared every emotion with each other on these very chairs… Now all those remained a memory which had to be enough for him as he sat there alone.

The persistent buzzing of his doorbell dragged him out of his dwindling thoughts. He looked at his watch, frowning slightly. It was just about 2pm. Kono had said that she would come over to bring him dinner but it was a little too early for that. He slowly hoisted himself up, grabbing the crutches he was still reliant on to make his excruciating way to the door.

His heart skipped a beat as he opened the door.

"Uncle Steve!"

The pressure in his chest that had only grown since he got home miraculously vanished as he saw the two people that meant the world to him.

"G..grace..Charlie.." He heaved out.

Charlie crashed into him, hugging him at the knees, essentially incapacitating him. He swayed slightly as he regained his balance.

"Careful, Charlie." Grace chastised gently, causing the boy to release the hold on him.

"It's okay." He said, smiling genuinely for the first time in a while as he ruffled Charlie's blond locks. "Come here." He said, hands outstretched to Grace.

Grace readily complied, gently melting into his arms as she buried her head in his chest. He felt her arms tighten around his waist as she began to tremble in his hold. He held on to her, patting her back gently as she shook with emotions.

"I'm okay…" Guilt gripped him as Grace cried in his arms. "I'm okay, Grace..."

Looking up, he saw his partner standing a distance away from them, staring into the ground as though there was something fascinating there.

Danny, he couldn't bring himself to say his partner's name. He felt a tug in his chest. The longing in his heart was soothed ever the slightest.

"I missed you…" Grace said between tears.

"I missed you too." He said, suddenly unable to control his own tears as Danny looked up at him, their eyes meeting. "I missed you so much... All of you." He said, looking at Charlie. "Co..come on in.."

He allowed the kids in, stealing a glance at his partner. "You coming?" He asked when Danny didn't seem to make a move.

Wordlessly, Danny entered, looking at him only for a brief fleeting moment. His heart fluttered. He had missed his partner. So damn much…

Following behind Danny, he hobbled his way to the couch and sat down between Grace and Charlie.

"How are you feeling now, Uncle Steve?" Grace asked, her eyes still red from the tears as she analysed his face and ran her hand lightly across the healing wounds on his forehead.

"I'm alright." He said, hugging her as she leaned lightly onto his shoulders. "I really am."

"I was so worried. I wanted to see you earlier, but I couldn't because you were in the ICU and I wasn't allowed in there... I was so afraid... I was afraid of losing you…"

"I'm still here." He smiled.

"You left without saying goodbye, and we didn't hear from you for 2 months… and when you came home… the accident…" Grace rambled on, her voice breaking with emotions. "I was afraid I would never see you again. I was so afraid…"

"Hey.. Grace,, Look at me." Steve said. "I'm okay. I'm really okay now. The doctors discharged me didn't they?" Steve said.

She nodded. "I'm really glad you're okay… Danno told me you were going to be okay. That you'd fight to come back to us… But I knew it was bad.. because Danno's eyes were always red from crying.. I knew it was bad." He looked up at his partner. Danny avoided his eyes as Grace continued. "I really thought you were going to leave us all."

Planting a soft kiss on Grace's forehead, he offered a small smile. "I wouldn't do that. I'd miss you too much. I'm sorry for scaring you, Grace." He said gently while wiping the tears flowing down Grace's face. "I'm sorry. But I promise you I'm fine now."

"Uncle Steve.." Charlie looked up at him. "You're okay now, right?"

He nodded.

"Good! Can you teach me to surf? Remember you promised me a longgggg time ago…" Charlie said. "Danno wouldn't teach me saying I had to wait for you to come home."

"Charlie.. Uncle Steve is still recovering, he can't…" Danny finally voiced.

"I'll do it once I am all healed, alright? Can you wait for a little bit more, little guy?"

"You don't have to..Steve." Danny trailed.

He looked up at his partner, unable to read Danny's expression. He couldn't quite breathe... Did Danny no longer want his kids around him? The imminent fear spread through him. He turned to look at Charlie. Blue eyes that were the exact replica of Danny's looked back up at him, sending a pang through his chest.

"Pleaseee Uncle Steve..." Charlie whined. "Pleaseeee.."

He forced a smile on his face though all he felt was immense dread. Was this the last time Danny would allow his kids to be with him? "Yeah.. we'll see about that, alright, Charlie?"

"But you promised you would…"

"Charlie." Danny voiced sternly, or as stern as he ever could be with Charlie.

At Danny's tone, Charlie stopped his whining, resorting to silently pouting instead. He could feel Grace's questioning gaze on him and Danny as she probably picked up on the awkward tension in the air between them.

"Hey, Charlie, come on, let's go outside and play with the sand?" Grace suggested. She coaxed her brother, knowing Charlie could never refuse the offer.

Begrudgingly, the boy complied, taking his sister's hand as she led him out into the lanai. He watched as the kids disappear from his view, leaving him and Danny in a billowing silence.

He inhaled sharply against the intense weight in his ribs. "Da.."

"I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have come.." Danny voiced before he had a chance to say anything else.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I know I shouldn't have…" Danny stuttered, unable to look him in the eye.

Is that how much you hate me now? He winced at the thought. This was what a heartbreak truly felt like.

"Yeah.." He barely eked out.

Danny looked up at him. He couldn't.. He couldn't return the gaze. He couldn't look into the blue eyes he had fallen deeply in love with without breaking apart. He already was falling apart. He wanted to run. Run forever and never stop. Never hear Danny's next words.

I hate you.. I'm leaving…I don't ever want to see you again.. One or the other. He was pretty sure.

He pinched his eyes closed as he felt the world spinning against him as he imagined his life without his best friend.

"Y..You okay?" He heard Danny asking, a firm grip on his shoulder. But just as quickly, the grip disappeared.

He breathed, looking up at his friend (if he could still call Danny that). "M'fine. You should go.." You should go because I don't want to hear what you have to say. You should go because I can't deal with it right now… You should go…

"I'm sorr.. sorry.. the ki.. I kno…" Danny heaved as though he was finding it difficult to breathe. He didn't realised it till know but for some reason, Danny looked…terrible for a lack of better word. Whatever colour that was on his partner's face earlier had now drained completely.

"The kids.. they wanted to see you.. I know.. you.." Danny paused looking at him. And what was that expression in his eyes? Was that.. Pain?

"Are you.. okay, Dann-" He almost blurted out the name he had always called his partner by. The one he was probably not supposed to say any longer. "Danny.." He finished.

Danny looked at him, tears clouding the baby blues. He doesn't quite hear Danny's meek whisper. But he knew the answer anyway. Pushing himself against the couch, he stood up, moving closer to his partner. He hesitated for a moment, but he knew whatever it was on Danny's mind, his partner needed him.

"Buddy.. wh..what's wrong?" He asked.

"I.. can't.. you.. don't.." Danny clasped his hands together, clutching his knuckles tightly till they were red except it did nothing to stop the tremor in them.

He gently wrapped his palm over Danny's trembling hands. "Hey.. calm down, it's okay.."

"It.. it's not.." Danny voiced. "It's not okay.."

…

Steve hated him. There were no two ways about it. Against all logic, he had held on to a glimmer of hope. That maybe, just maybe.. Steve didn't completely hate him. Maybe.. he thought if he had brought his kids, Steve wouldn't drive him away. Maybe they could repair whatever was left of their friendship. Maybe…

But he had been wrong.

"M'fine. You should go.." Steve's words were as sharp as knives, slicing through his chest. Steve still didn't want him around...

He heaved, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe. "I'm sorr.. sorry.. the ki.. I kno… The kids.. they wanted to see you.. I know.. you.." He looked at his partner, unable to hide the agony tearing through his chest.

"Are you.. okay, Dann..y?" The brief concern in Steve's voice sent a rush of blood through his veins.

"No." He barely squeaked.

"Buddy.. wh..what's wrong?" Steve asked, sitting next to him.

He could feel Steve's warmth next to him, wishing nothing but to hold Steve in embrace in his arms. He clasped his hands tightly, digging his nails into his knuckles in a truly futile attempt at stopping the tremor that was spreading throughout his entire body. "I.. can't.. you.. don't.."

"Hey.. calm down, it's okay.." Steve's gently wrapped his palm on his hands,

"It.. it's not.. it's not okay.." He looked up into Steve's concerned eyes, trying his best to hold in his own tears. How could things still be okay after everything? How could things be okay when he was losing his best friend?

"I can't.. I can't do this.." He exhaled. A tear escaped his eyes as Steve retracted his hand from him. "I missed you."

The words lingered in the silence.

"I.. I guess I lost the right to do that when I.. Steve, I kno..w it's a lot to ask.. and I.. I know you pro..bably don't.." He stuttered, unable to stop the insane pounding in his chest. "ever wan..t to see me again but I..I can't.. I can't do it.. I can't lose you.."

"Wait.. Danny.."

He didn't stop, looking into his partner's eyes. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry that.. I can't love you the same way you love me.. but.. Steve..please.. don't push me away.. I can't do it.."

"Hang on… s..ss..so you think.. that I wouldn't want to see you again because you don't..." Steve asked. "Is tha.. is that why you never came see me.. at the hospital?"

"You did..didn't want to see me.."

"Dann.." Steve sighed. "What made you think that.I didn't?" Steve asked.

"You told me to leave.. You wouldn't even look at me… and I get it.. I really do. And I don't blame you.. I'm really sorry.."

"Danny you got it.. got it all wrong." Steve sighed. "I didn't ask you to leave because I didn't want to see you.. I was.." He paused. "I was embarrassed.. I was afraid.."

He looked at Steve, swallowing the ache in his chest.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I meant it when I said it the last time. And I mean it now. If anything.. I am sorry.." Steve continued. "I didn't… I just thought.." There was no easy way to say it. "I thought you felt the same way.. but I was wrong… I should never have said it, Danny.. When you said you didn't feel the same way… i thought I had lost you... More than anything, I was afraid of losing my best friend. I was afraid that it changed everything.."

He looked up at Steve. It did. Everything changed.

"Well.. in a way I guess it did.. But I...I.." Steve avoided his gaze. "I dont want things to change between us. Danny.. Can we get past this, pretend it never happened... go back to the way we were before?"

He nodded, knowing how much it must hurt his partner to say those words. Because he knew whatever he was feeling, his partner felt it too.

"I'd like nothing more."

"Goo..good." Steve released a shaky breath. "We're good. All's good.."

And all was indeed good. As long as he could hide what he felt for his partner.. All would be good. But nothing good lasted forever. And in this case, it lasted 1 year, 6 months and 18 days.

...

A/N: Hey everyone, to all those still reading and who kindly left a review for the previous chapter, I really appreciate you guys! Thanks a lot and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too. See you in a bit and take care!