Chapter 17: Fix You

The night dragged on incessantly. I couldn't sleep. Dreams would not find and drown me tonight. For that, I was grateful, but I would pay by exhaustion. When morning came, Edward and Jasper still had not returned home. We all slept in Edward's small cabin. I took the floor by Alice. Garrett had the couch, Seth took Edward's bed, and Jules had not come out of her room since she stormed in there angrily, last night.

My heart hurt. It was tearing open in so many different ways. I needed to fix things with my son first, so after a cup of coffee and a cigarette, I went to Edward's room. I expected to find Seth still asleep, but he was sitting up and looking out the window. I walked in slowly. He didn't turn to face me as I took a seat at the end of the bed.
"I brought you some coffee," I said quietly. Seth finally looked to me, and took the mug.
"Thanks." I nodded and sipped more hot liquid from mine.
"Seth, look-"
"Mom, how could you like Edward?"
I shrugged, "I didn't plan to."
"Yeah, well it sort of sucks."
"I know you care for Jules-"
He kept cutting me off. His dark eyes poured into mine. "Not only because of her and me, it's just that I've just never seen you with anyone else besides Dad," He whispered. I looked down to my coffee sadly.
"I know, but I can't help how I feel, Seth."
"He's a good guy," He replied softly. "He wouldn't hurt you."
My chest clenched. "No, he wouldn't."
"I'll just need time to get used to it is all."
"I can give you time." This was going better than I thought it would. Apparently, Jules would be the harder fix.
"I won't tell Dad."
"Thank you Seth. Now, what happened with you and Jules?" Seth sighed and put his coffee down on the bedside table where I noticed something. A picture of Edward, Jules, and Tanya sat in a wooden frame. Edward's smile was almost heartbreaking as his arm draped over his late wife's shoulder. I groaned inwardly and forced my eyes back to my son.
"We kissed," Seth whispered. I couldn't help my smile, but also my heart hurting a little. Seth wasn't my little boy anymore in the sense that I had foolishly hoped he would forever stay.
"And she got mad?"
"After we kissed, yeah. I don't know what I did."
"It'll work out. Maybe she just isn't ready," I offered.
"Yeah, maybe."
"Did she like your gift?"
His smile returned, "Yeah."
"Good."
"When will Edward be back?"
"I don't know Baby." I gave a small smile. He returned the gesture.
"I'm going to talk to Jules, now, okay?" Seth nodded.
"I'll be out in a few. Thanks for the coffee, Mom."

When I came to Jules' door, I knocked softly. She didn't reply, so I slowly turned the door knob. My head peeked inside to see Jules sitting at her small desk looking out the window.
"Jules, I brought you some coffee," I said. She didn't answer. "Can I come in?" Jules shrugged her small shoulders. I set her mug down on the desk in front of her, and took a seat at the end of her bed.
"I'm sorry for getting so angry last night," She finally said.
"It's all right," I told her. Jules turned to face me.
"I miss my mom," She cracked. Her face was laced with tears, and it broke my heart. I opened my arms to her and she fell to the floor on her knees in front of me. I wrapped my arms around her as she cried.
"It was so hard to see my dad kiss you," She sobbed. "But I want him to be happy."
"I would never take your mother's place, Jules."
"I know," She cried. "But you have become like a mother to me." My own tears began to slip out of my eyes. "That's why I got so mad. I felt like I was betraying my mom." I smoothed Jules' red hair out and kissed the top of her head.
"She loves you, Jules. You would never betray her by caring for someone else. You look a lot like her, you know." She sniffled and pulled away to look up at me. I wiped her tears.
"I don't want to forget her," She whispered.
"How about this," I hedged, "Anytime you want to talk about her with someone, you are more than welcome to come to me."
"Really?"
I nodded. "Talking keeps the mind fresh and vivid. You won't forget her, sweetie.
"It won't make you jealous?"
"Not at all." It wouldn't and I knew that for sure. "I would love to hear all about her." Jules looked down to the floor.
"Dad has a hard time talking about her."
"I know its been tough. I'm here for you."
Jules finally smiled a beautiful smile that lit up her face. "Thank you, Bella." She hugged my waist.
"What happened with Seth?" I asked. Jules backed up and her hand instantly went to her neck where her new dream catcher hung.
"I got afraid," She whispered. "I don't know, I just panicked."
"He'll understand that. Talk to him."
"What if you guys leave here?"
"I'm going to try to stay," I promised.
"For good?"
"For good."
She smiled again, then went sad. "Is he really upset?"
"He's confused."
"I'll talk to him."
"You're young and you guys have a lot to experience. Don't rush anything."
She nodded. "Okay." I grinned. Jules turned to grab her mug and sipped her coffee.
"Are you sure you're alright with me and your dad?" I asked quietly.
Jules nodded, "I am. He's happier. I can't tell."
My heart began to pump furiously. "So am I."

Suddenly, rubber over gravel caught our attention. It was just after nine and I feared that it would be the people from the bank. Jules stood up and peered out the window.
"It's a black car," She announced. I frowned and went out of her room. Alice stood at the living room window peering out.
"Do you know who it is?" She asked me.
I shook my head, "Nope." I went to the front door just as Garrett and Seth emerged into the small living room.
"What is it, Bella?" Garrett asked.
"I'm not sure. Wait here," I told them. My hand shook over the doorknob, but I pulled it open and stepped out onto the front porch. I crossed my arms and waited for whoever it was to step out.

The driver door opened and a familiar pair of Nike's stepped stepped out onto the dirt. Everything close to me fell to the ground in pieces. My new world shifted on its access. I felt dizzy.
"Dad?" Seth said excitedly. Jacob emerged from the black BMW with a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Dad!" Seth yelled. Seth rushed past me. I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. My son ran into his father's open arms. They hugged tightly, making my stomach burn. When they pulled apart, Seth started walking towards me, and Jacob closed his car door. I stepped off the porch.
"Bella," Jacob purred. His black eyes appraised my body like a kid at a candy store. My skin crawled.
"Jake," I replied evenly. Seth's eyes went back and forth with worry.
"Dad, you've gotta meet Jules!" Jake turned to Seth.
"Of course," He said with a smile. Seth rushed passed us and back into the house. Alice was now on the porch watching us with narrow eyes. Jacob nodded to her. Alice didn't move.
"What are you doing here?" I snapped quietly. Jacob chuckled.
"I came to see my wife and son."
"Ex-wife," I clarified. Jacob's smile faded. "How did you know where I was?"
"An old addressed envelope from your father."
"That was to Telluride."
"Yeah, but all I had to do was utter the Swan name, and people were eager to tell me of this... Place." Jacob's eyes looked out across the land.
"I can see why you hate it."
"I don't." He looked back to me with a smirk. His face was clean and he smelled like Chanel. The familiar scent made me nauseous. Jacob's brand, new jeans and brand, new, red button up were neat and crisp. His black hair was cut shorter than usual.
"Not anymore," I finished.
"Where's papa Swan?" He asked, looking to the cabins.
"He... Died." I looked down to the dirt.
"Ah. I see now why you've stayed. I am sorry." I didn't reply, and I didn't look up.
"Well I've come to take you both home," He said brightly. My head snapped up. I crossed my eyebrows in disbelief.
"No, we're staying." He laughed. It came from deep within his toned chest.
"We're divorced, Jake. I have full custody." He stopped laughing, and I could see his eyes glaze over. I knew what that meant; and my body began to shake.

Seth and Jules broke our heated stare as they barreled out of the house. Jake's fake smile returned, as Seth pulled Jules by the hand.
"Dad, this is-"
"Jules. I've heard so much about you," Jake said politely. The small redhead blushed.
"Hello, Mr. Black," She squeaked. Seth didn't let go of her hand.
An awkward silence passed.
"Oh, come see my horse!" Seth cheered. My head shot over to my son, and I frowned. He shrugged and looked back to his father. "Come on," He urged. Jacob smiled and started to follow behind Seth.
"Jacob," I said quietly, just as he brushed past me. I flinched. I couldn't help it.
"He wants me to see his horse," Jake cooed.
"Jules," I said. "Why don't you come help me and Alice with lunch." Seth frowned but let go of Jules' hand. She slowly walked back to her aunt, as Seth and Jacob continued on to the barn.

I knew what my son was trying to do. He didn't want to believe the evil things about him. He wanted to wish them away. It wouldn't happen, but he was trying.
Just then, I heard horses. My heart lifted from the ground and slammed back into my chest. I jogged around the cabin to see Edward and Jasper approaching us. I smiled wide, then it left me.
Just as I was being fixed by Edward and this land, Jacob appeared and I was once again being ripped apart.

Dun, dun, dun...