Chapter Sixteen: Days Go By

Bella's POV

It was a quiet drive to Seattle. Neither of us knew what to say, and neither of us wanted to say anything. I knew if I said anything, it would only be hateful words. And, if I were being honest with myself, I didn't want to say things to hurt him. No matter what he'd done to me, or the people around me, I still loved him. I glanced over at him, and my heart broke at the sight.

Tears were streaming down his face, and his face was red with anger. I couldn't help myself from placing my hand on his, gripping it tightly. He looked over at me, and just smiled. I knew it was forced, but I took it. We'd both been through too much tonight to turn our backs on one another. Weather I liked it or not, Emmett was all I had at this point. I had to deal with it.

He pulled into a Holiday Inn just as we entered Seattle. He booked us a room for the next three days, and led us upstairs to the room.

"We can go out tomorrow to get some clothes and stuff." He whispered as he closed the door shut. "I'm going to go see if they have toothpaste."

"Okay." I sighed, sitting down on the bed. Looking around the room, being alone for the first time since I dropped Aiden off, gave me a sense of peace. I felt tears welling up in my eyes again and I squeezed them shut, not wanting to cry again. I heard my phone buzzing in my bag, and dug through it to find my phone. "Hello?"

"Bella?" I heard Alice asked on the other line. Hearing her first, knowing they were okay, made me feel hope. "What's going on? Carlisle called and told us Esme and Rosalie had been killed?"

"Yeah, Alice." I cried, letting the tears fall. "They were. Earlier this afternoon."

"Oh..god." She cried. "Are you alright? Where's Emmett?"

"He's getting some toothpaste." I sighed. "We're both okay."

"Thank god." She whispered. "Where are you?"

"I can't say. But, we're safe. Don't worry."

"Too late."

"Just...don't come home. Not yet." I sighed, laying down on the bed. "Stay where you are until I tell you. I'll pay for any extra nights. Just, don't leave."

"We won't." She promised. "How're you holding up?"

"I...I don't know, Alice." I told her. "I mean, I just found out that my current boyfriend is my ex-fiancee's half brother and then I heard Esme be killed...reliving the night Edward was shot was a nice touch to this perfect day...and then I get a call from Carlisle telling me Rosalie was also killed. How does one...'hold up' after that?"

"I'm not sure."

"It was awful, Alice." I cried. "I heard the gunshot...and again there was nothing I could do to help her. I...I was with her right before she died."

"Oh, Bells." She sighed, and all I wanted was for Alice to be here with me right now. I missed Aiden so much it hurt right now, and there was nothing I could do about it. We stayed on the phone for what seemed like hours, just sitting in silence while the two of us cried for the ones we'd lost that night. But, Emmett had to come into the room at some point, and when he did, Alice and I hung up.

"Here, I found a vending machine." He whispered sheepishly, handing me pretzels and a bag of chips. "I can order pizza, but...I didn't think you'd be very hungry."

"You guessed right." I whispered, picking up the bags and walking outside onto the small balcony. I put the bags on one of the chair and just looked out over the city. I heard him come outside and took a deep breath...we had to talk about this at some point. "You know what makes this situation...worse?"

"Aiden?"

"No, that just makes a bad situation worse." I said. "You know what makes this situation terrible?"

"What?"

"You weren't honest with me, Emmett." I whispered, trying to keep my anger with me. "You've been lying to be this entire time. You sat with me and listened every time I cried for Edward. You sat up with me on every anniversary of his death. You listened to me...tell you some of the best memories I had of him. And...it's not like you figured out who I was last week...you've known for months!

"Months! And you didn't bother to tell me. And...you built a relationship with Aiden even though you knew who he was...what had happened to his father."

"I...I just...I knew telling you would destroy you." He whispered. "I wanted you to be okay...I didn't want to watch you go through...this."

"Well, lying to me only made it worse." I whispered, wiping the tears that were streaming down my cheek. "I trusted you, Emmett."

"I know." He sighed. "But, answer this. Would you have been able ti forgive me, look past what I'd told you, and be with me?"

"I don't know."

"You don't?"

"No, Emmett." I sighed. "I don't know if I could have looked passed what had happened that night with Edward. But, if you would have been honest with me, it might have been able to made the choice."

"Oh."

"I loved you, Emmett." I cried. "So fucking much."

"I love you too."

"No you don't." I said, turning to face him. "Because if you did...this wouldn't be happening right now."

The conversation Emmett and I had stayed with me all night. I still loved him...I wasn't sure if I'd ever stop. But, the fact that he told me he did what he did to protect me was bullshit. I didn't need protecting, especially from him. I reached over, something I did out of habit, and feeling the cold bed next to me made me feel almost sick. I didn't like being without him anymore.

I heard the door open and softly shut and I watched him as he walked inside with a bag in his hands. His eyes glanced over and met mine, and I could see how puffy and red they were. He gave me a weak smile before walking into the bathroom, and I sighed when I heard the shower turn on. It'd been so long since I'd taken a shower by myself, and I had to hold myself back from getting in with him.

"Where'd you go this morning?" I asked after he'd come out of the shower.

"I had to get some things." He mumbled.

"What things?"

"You aren't going to like it."

"Try me." I mocked, putting my hand on my hips, waiting for him to answer me.

"We have to be able to defend ourselves." He whispered. "I bought some knives...and...a gun."

"YOU BOUGHT A GUN?" I shouted, and he had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't alarm the entire hotel about it. "Why would you do that?"

"Do you wanna live or die?" He asked, his face turning red with anger. "James is going to be prepared. We have to be too."

"I...I don't wanna go anywhere near that."

"Deal." He sighed. "You take the knives. I'll handle this."

Emmett and I stayed quiet pretty much the rest of the time we were in Seattle. He went to a cheap shooting range to practice his aim, and I stayed huddled in the room in fear. I was so afraid James would find someone else to kill and Emmett and I wouldn't hear about it until we came back.

Carlisle also hadn't talked to us since the car ride here and I didn't blame him. His wife of thirty-four years because Emmett was too afraid to stay with her and call 911. I didn't want to blame him for everything that had happened, but it was hard not to.

And then, there was the fact that he'd been lying to me for the last five years. I told him everything...things I never even told Alice about. I told him how I said no to Edward twice before finally saying yes...and I didn't tell anyone before him. I trusted him with my life, and he was there when my fiancee's life was taken. Not only that, but he knew Edward was his brother and he also kept that from me. He was Aiden's uncle? That was no okay with me, and it never would be. He let Aiden get so attached to him, even though he knew what it would do to him when everything fell apart.

"Hey," He sighed as he came through the door. "I brought you a salad from Wendy's."

"Thanks." I whispered, taking the bag from his hands and walking outside on the balcony. I sat down in one of the chairs and just began picking at my food. I knew that if I were to eat anything, I'd throw it right back up. As I was giving up on eating the salad, my cell phone rang and I smiled when I saw Carlisle's name flash on the front.

"Hi," I whispered as I answered. "How're you doing?"

"Where's Emmett?" I heard an unfamiliar voice ask from the other line.

"Who is this?" I asked, afraid it would be one of the creeps that was with James.

"Diego." He mumbled. "Emmett's fucking cousin."

"Ummm," I muttered, turning around and looking at him through the glass. My heart broke at the sight of him. He was sitting on the bed, and I noticed he was holding a picture of him and Esme from last Christmas. I choked back my tears as I turned back around. "No, he just left to get food."

"Okay. Well, tell him he's not apart of this family anymore."

"Diego?" I heard Carlisle voice ask in the back round. "Give me the phone."

"Whatever." He sighed, and I heard the phone being given up.

"Bella?"

"Hi, Carlisle." I whispered, hoping I wouldn't burst into tears. "How...how're you doing?"

"I've had better times." He whispered. "But, I'm holding up."

"Are you safe?" I asked. "I mean...he...he hasn't shown up...has he?"

"No one out of the ordinary is here in Forks right now, Bella. We're okay."

"Good." I sighed in relief. "How are your kids?"

"Diego's a mess. And he's acting like he did in high school."

"And how's that?"

"A total and complete jackass." He laughed, causing me to smile. I never thought I'd hear his laugh again. "And Bree is still MIA."

"Did you get through to her?"

"We've been trying for days." He mumbled. "Look, Bella. We aren't going to have the funerals until you and Emmett get back."

"No, you can do this."

"No, we can't." He argued. "Esme and Rosalie loved you both. You need to be there."

"Thanks." I whispered, turning back around to see Emmett sitting at the desk. "Look, it's been a long day. I'm gonna go."

"Okay, bye, Bella." He whispered and I pressed the end button. I opened the glass doors and walked past Emmett, trying not to look at what he was writing. But, he was writing so fiercely it intrigued me.

Dear Uncle Carlisle,

I cannot even begin to express how sorry I am for letting what happened, happen. I should have been a man and gone downstairs when I heard James's voice. Hell...I should have gone to the police the night Edward was killed. But, I'm a coward and no one can disagree on that. I am also sorry for what I have decided to do. When you read this, I won't be here. James is going to try and kill me and I'm not going to stop him. It's...

"You're planning on getting yourself killed?" I yelled, picking up the paper from the desk and looking at it more closely. "Haven't the people who love you suffered from enough pain?"

"Bella, I deserve to die!" He screamed. "For all the pain I've caused...all the lives that have been taken because of me. I deserve to die."

"I thought we came here to put James in jail! Not so you can kill yourself!"

"We'll kill two birds with one stone." He shrugged. "Bella, I can't...live with this anymore."

"What? The guilt?"

"YES! THE GUILT!" He yelled as he stood up and began pacing around the room. "I've been living with this guilt inside of me for five years! I...I can't deal with it anymore."

"Look," I whispered, grabbing his hand to calm him down. "I get it. Losing the people you love...kills something inside you. But, you getting killed isn't going to get Edward, Rosalie, or Esme justice. Killing or putting James behind bars is what's going to get them justice."

"But,"

"No. They wouldn't have wanted this for you." I pointed out. "And you know that."

"What if...what if I want it?" He asked me and I couldn't help the punch in the gut feeling once he'd told me that. "What if..."

"Stop." I ordered, putting my hand out. "Don't go there. Not you too."

"Not me?"

"I can't lose you, Emmett." I cried. "I just can't."

"I thought you hated me." He whispered, lowering his head to look at shoes.

"I hate what you did." I sighed. "I hate that you weren't honest with me," I told him and I saw the smile that had formed on his face...and I knew what he was hoping for. "We're never going to be together, again though."

"But,"

"No, Emmett." I sighed. "I can't trust you. And...even though I don't hate you...I really don't want anything to do with you. Here." I said, shoving the phone in his hands. "Carlisle's been wanting to talk to you. You can't avoid him forever, Emmett."

He sighed as he went outside and I could tell he was talking to Diego. I saw his flailing arms and his face turning red. And then, I saw the tears streaming down his face. I couldn't take watching him anymore, so I went into the bathroom. As I opened the door though, I tripped over something and looked down to see Emmett's jeans wadded up in a ball right in front of the door.

Sighing, I bent to pick them up and heard a small tap on the floor. I looked down and saw the small, black velvet box that had fallen out of his pocket. I closed my eyes, praying it wasn't what I thought it was, and bent down to pick it up. however, it was exactly what I thought it was. A ring. An engagement ring.

"Oh my god." I whispered, taking it out of the box and looking at it more closely. The ring looked old fashion, and I remembered it from pictures of Emmett's grandmother. I peeked on the inside and saw 'Amor vincit omnia' engraved inside.

"It was my grandmother's." I heard him say from behind me, causing me to jump. "It means Love conquers all in Latin."

"Emmett..."

"I know I was selfish." He sighed, leaning up against the door jam. "I shouldn't have started anything with you. But, I love you Bella and I wasn't ready to give you up. You've been everything to me and I couldn't...I couldn't watch you walk away. I was planning to propose the...the night of the barbecue."

"That's why Rosalie was acting all squirmish at dinner the night before." I mused, thinking back to the night before the barbecue when we had dinner with her and Royce. She couldn't wipe her smile off her face, and every time Emmett and I would look at each other, she'd clapped her hands together or to her mouth.

"Yeah. She was the first person I told." He whispered. "My grandparents didn't have the perfect relationship, and they fought a lot. But, they were married for forty-seven years when my grandmother died."

"How old were you?" I asked, not exactly knowing why.

"Eight." He told me. "We didn't get to see them much since they lived four hours away, but it was still hard. My grandfather only made it a year without my grandma died."

"Were they your dads parents?"

"No, mom and Carlisle's." He sighed. "Anyway, Carlisle gave me that ring when I talked to him about asking you to marry me. He told me it was a...good luck charm." He laughed. "Carlisle told me he thought they were going to get divorced at least three times."

"How'd they make it then?"

"They loved each other." He shrugged. "Every time she'd kick him out, or he'd leave...they were back together in the same house within two hours. They couldn't keep away from each other, no matter how often or how bad they fought."

"So, you thought this would save us from the truth?" I asked, holding up the ring. "Because, it wouldn't have, Em."

"I know." He whispered. "But, I was hoping it'd keep us together no matter what life put us through." I closed my eyes, trying to get rid of the pain that I was feeling. I would have said yes. I would have loved to marry him, call him Aiden's father. I wanted to badly to forget what had happened in the last few days and kiss and hug him until we couldn't breathe anymore. But, it was over.

"If you thought some ring would keep us together..." I sighed, refusing to open my eyes. "You're crazy."

"Bella,"

"I would have said yes, Emmett." I whispered. "I would have married you. I would have asked you to sign Aiden's adoption papers and make him your own. I was prepared to be with you forever...and you would have let me."

"I needed you...I still do."

"Yeah, I thought I needed you too." I whispered, walking out of the bathroom, slamming the door closed.

No matter what pain Emmett had caused me over the last few days...I still loved him. I always would and I didn't think I'd ever be able to shake that feeling off.