A/N: To avoid confusion for anyone who hasn't read the other stories, Ste has only ever been with Brendan because of when I started the fic from.

Chapter Three

Brendan woke up early that morning and dressed himself for a run. It was peaceful outside with the day having only just broken and most guests still fast asleep. He always ran to clear his head and sometimes to escape. He remembered when he was a boy; how running away became second nature to him. He'd learnt the hard way that hiding was futile; you had to stand up and take control of a situation. Brendan hated feeling helpless and yet he felt it every day he'd held Steven, every day he'd loved him.

He was helpless because Steven was so precious, so easily taken away. Before when Brendan had let his fists rule him, it had been such a mess in his mind; a conflicting mass of hatred and shame. Not only that, he had allowed Steven to get hurt because of his lifestyle. Kidnapped even, facing a gun and god knows what else. Even now when things were so perfect, Brendan couldn't forget that. The nightmares still came, like they had last night. Perhaps it was because they were somewhere new, unknown. The possibilities were endless and life was so very fragile.

He found himself running faster back to their lodgings, his breath coming in short rasps. Amy had warned him on the phone to look after him. Like him, she loved the boy. She was also a worrier. Brendan couldn't blame her really. It was their first holiday alone with the kids.

He unlocked the door and was instantly hit with the smell of bacon. Steven was in his pyjamas cooking breakfast and humming to himself. The normality of the image calmed him. Brendan stalked up behind him, pressing himself against him. Steven jolted then relaxed when he felt Brendan's lips at his neck.

"You smell." He accused, wrinkling his nose.

"I went for a run."

"I wondered where you went." Steven sighed, flipping the bacon.

"Are the kids awake?"

"Not yet."

"Is their door locked?"

"Why?"

Brendan pressed himself closer to Steven.

"Oh." Steven breathed, turning the stove off. He leaned back against Brendan. "What did you have in mind?"

Brendan took his hands, curling their fingers together. "Shower?"

"Well you do need one."

"Very funny." Brendan replied, running their entwined hands down the length of Steven's body. Steven shivered a little, turning in the embrace to meet Brendan's lips. They pushed against each other until Brendan's back hit the bathroom door.

The shower was warm, and Brendan enjoyed pushing Steven against the shower wall, heat and trickling water running over their bodies. Brendan's hands cupped Steven's arse cheeks, squeezing and pressing into his flesh. He braced himself against the wall and used his other hand to hold Steven flush against his body. Steven used his own wet slicked fingers to coax himself open, groaning against Brendan's shoulder in the process.

Steven turned himself around, pressing his palms flat against the smooth surface. Brendan ran his hands down his sides, kissing between his shoulder blades as he entered him, inch by inch. Brendan rotated Steven's hips to hold him firmly in place, pushing into him with a wild abandon that left them both gasping for breath. Steven's fingers curled against the shower wall, his head bowed, eyes squeezed tightly shut. Brendan stroked a hand down his spine, enjoying the way Steven's body shivered for him.

The friction of their bodies and the unrelenting heat and pressure of the water sent both of them reeling into orgasm. Brendan clutched Steven towards his body as they did so, his palm flat on Steven's chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken and then return to normal. Steven turned once more, his hair plastered to his forehead. Brendan took in the sight of him; his skinny frame, the water droplets on his eyelashes, the way the heat spread across his cheeks. He kissed him hard.

"We need to get ready, Bren." Steven murmured against his lips.

"What for?" Brendan replied, placing his hand firmly at the small of Steven's back.

"I promised the kids we'd take them on one of those pedalo thingy's."

"Mm, did ye now?"

Steven pulled back, tracing his fingertips over Brendan's bottom lip. "Do you not like the water?"

"I went swimming yesterday, didn't I?"

"Yeah but you didn't move around much, except those rapids." Steven laughed, his eyes twinkling. "Did no one teach you how to swim?"

"Well…" Brendan frowned. "My Da tried."

Steven scrunched his face up. They hadn't spoken much about his father. It wasn't a topic of conversation that Brendan particularly enjoyed.

"What happened?"

Brendan pulled back a little, considering his response. "I wasn't much of a swimmer when I was a kid. But Da made me one time on holiday. He dunked my head under the water, to get me used to it I guess. Only I couldn't breathe and I was thrashing all over the place. I ended up having to leave the pool after some of the guests complained about… well, ye can guess."

Steven looked at him in concern, reaching forwards tentatively. "Bren…"

"It was nothing." Brendan stepped out of the shower, feeling shame creep up his spine. "He's done worse."

"I remember." Steven said, his voice laced with worry. "No wonder you didn't invite him to the wedding."

"Oh, God." Brendan laughed breathlessly. "If he knew I was married again…"

Steven wrapped his arms around his waist, kissing his shoulder. "He isn't here now." he said softly. "Just us."

"Yeah." Brendan nodded, handing Steven a towel and wrapping one around himself.

The kids had woken up by the time they went back out into the kitchen. Leah was sniffing the air appreciatively, looking at Brendan in consternation.

"Why isn't it cooking?"

"Yer Daddy was smelly, he needed a shower."

Leah folded her arms, unimpressed.

"I'm on it." Steven laughed, turning the beans back on. "Lay the table, darling."

"Alright, sweetheart." Brendan joked. Steven rolled his eyes.

"Not you! Leah, make yourself useful."

Brendan handed Leah the knives and forks for her to lay out on the table with his supervision. Lucas was lifted up onto one of the chairs. Steven stared at him for a few moments, looking wistful.

"My boy's getting big!"

"It goes so fast." Brendan agreed, ruffling Lucas' hair.

"Mummy said Brendan's getting bigger." Leah piped up, poking Brendan's arm.

"Charming." Brendan laughed, tweaking her nose.

"Aw, I'm feeding him too much, that's why!" Steven laid Brendan's plate out in front of him, smaller plates for Leah and Lucas.

"Are we still going on the boats?" Leah asked hopefully.

"If that's alright with Brendan."

"Course." Brendan waved his hand dismissively. "Just don't push me in, little lady."

Leah grinned up at him cheekily.

Steven smiled at them all soppily, Brendan squeezing his waist in response.

"Eat up now, we don't want anyone getting sea sick."

Xxx

Ste could tell how uneasy Brendan was. He kept glancing over the edge, eyes darting everywhere. Ste couldn't help the fond smile on his face as he looked at his husband.

"Not scared are you?" He asked, stroking Brendan's arm. Brendan shook him off, trying to pull himself together.

"I'm fine."

Leah overheard them and leapt from her seat, holding her arms up to Brendan.

"Really, I am okay." Brendan sighed, accepting Leah's cuddle nonetheless. "I just don't like… boats."

"You must have taken the ferry at some point though, right?"

"Well yeah, but that's not this death-trap."

Lucas looked at him with wide, frightened eyes.

"Brendan!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean it." Brendan offered his other side for Lucas to slot into.

"Hey, why don't I get a cuddle?" Ste pouted.

Brendan rolled his eyes. "If ye come over here the boat's going to capsize."

"Worth it." Ste grinned, sidling up to his family regardless.

"Yay, Daddy!" Leah squealed, patting him on the head.

"I don't like the way that swan's looking at me." Brendan said warily, giving the animal in question his most menacing glare.

"I think it's pretty." Leah piped up.

"Ye won't when it's biting-" Brendan snapped his mouth shut at the reprimanding look on Ste's face. "I mean yeah, pretty…"

"You looking forward to the crèche, kids?" Ste asked his children happily.

"Can't we come to the spa?" Leah looked at him with sad eyes.

"It's just for grown-ups, Leah."

"I'm a grown up!"

Ste laughed, ruffling her hair. "Give it ten more years, eh?"

"We can come back then." Leah said resolutely, crossing her arms. Ste grinned at Brendan over her head.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Promise."

"Of course." Ste said, still smiling. "Hey, Bren will be in his forties by then!"

"Watch it." Brendan growled.

By that point they were nearing the shore. Brendan climbed out of the boat swiftly, resting his hands on his knees and breathing deeply. Ste rubbed his back consolingly.

"There, there. Nice spa will do you good."

Brendan laughed throatily, checking his watch. "Speaking of, we best head over there."

They dropped the kids at the crèche, promising them a special treat later.

The minute they were alone Brendan's hands were all over him; touching the small of his back, his waist, his neck. Ste had to keep batting his hands away as they walked to the spa, it was very distracting.

"What trunks did ye bring?" He asked smoothly, brushing his hand over Ste's arse when they were in the reception area.

"The blue ones?" Ste replied sheepishly. Brendan tutted.

"Baggy."

"Well no one wants to see my bits and pieces."

"Steven, everyone wants to see yer bits and pieces."

"And you want everyone to?"

Brendan paused, considering this.

"Didn't think so." Ste answered for him, approaching the reception desk. "Hello."

"Hello again." A friendly voice answered.

Ste squinted at him, confused. "Oh! The lifeguard." He said with sudden recognition. He felt Brendan tense behind him. "We're here for the couple's spa treatment." He added, reaching behind him for Brendan's hand.

The man smiled happily, looking through his computer. "And would you like any special treatments? Massages? Facials?"

"Oh, no thanks." Ste said quickly, a little unnerved by how smiley the guy was.

"Alright then, here are your robes." He handed them two fluffy, white robes. "And if you need anything feel free to ask for Toby."

"And that's ye, is it?" Brendan asked suddenly, appearing at Ste's side.

"Yes, sir!"

"Right." Brendan looked him over with some annoyance. He tugged on Ste's hand towards the changing rooms.

Ste was immediately faced with naked men, walking around without so much as a towel on. Brendan gripped his hand tighter, pulling him to the corner of the room. He glanced around warily.

"Ye got the swimming trunks on underneath?"

"No…"

Brendan tutted, stripping himself off quickly, his own trunks already on.

"Here." He passed Ste a towel.

"Bren, I doubt they-"

Brendan gave him a hard look. Ste sighed and began undressing himself, pausing when he was down to his underwear and pulling the towel tight around himself.

It was difficult sometimes with Brendan. He struggled when it came to other men and Ste. Besides Noah, no other men had really taken an interest. Ste wasn't fussed about that, he had who he wanted. But sometimes he sensed how uneasy Brendan was, how he almost expected Ste to run off with someone else. It was a ridiculous notion, at least to Ste. Their relationship had never been easy, nor conventional at times, but it was what Ste wanted. He wouldn't give up on Brendan, no matter how much he doubted himself.

Sometimes, like right now, he indulged him. Other times he told him to get a grip. Ste hadn't been able to on this occasion. There was something different about Brendan today. He seemed a little more tense than usual, worried. Ste hoped the spa session would help him.

They walked out into the spa area, taking in all the different spa rooms with their strange names. Brendan chose one for them, walking in like he owned the place. The smell hit Ste's nostrils first, sweet and heady. It wasn't just a steam room; the heat was suffocating, intoxicating. He could already feel himself beginning to sweat before he sat down.

"Alright?" Brendan asked him, leaning back casually on the hot seat. Ste blinked a few times and coughed, nodding.

"Yeah, think so."

"Takes some getting used to." Brendan admitted. "I used to use the spa rooms at some of the fancier hotels on my little… trips."

"Oh yeah?" Ste grinned, remembering Carmel and the trips to Spain.

"Mm."

"Ever take a man to one?" Ste asked curiously.

"Course not, Steven."

"Good." Ste said, shifting in his seat. "It's proper hot in here."

"Insightful as ever." Brendan murmured affectionately.

"Well it is! Where is everyone anyway?"

"Probably in the pool." Brendan said, his voice taking on a different tone.

"What?" Ste asked. It wasn't easy to see; the lights were dimmed and the heat made his eyes water. He felt a hand on his leg, firm grip rubbing up and down. "What are you doing?" Ste exclaimed.

"Just us." Brendan moved closer, kissing his neck up to his earlobe.

"Bren…"

"Come on, Steven. Where's yer sense of adventure?"

Brendan's hand moved higher towards his crotch. Ste's breath hitched, the uncomfortable nature of the room and the promise of what Brendan would do alighting something inside of him. He climbed into Brendan's lap, ducking his head to kiss him.

"That's better." Brendan murmured against him, rubbing against his back. Ste positioned his knees either side of Brendan's waist, clinging to him and rocking, the friction and heat of the room making their bodies slick together deliciously. They didn't even need to undress themselves; Ste could feel his hardness pressing into Brendan's through the thin fabric of their trunks. Ste tilted his hips, readying himself. With a smooth motion he ground his crotch against Brendan's, eliciting a deep moan from the older man.

He continued in this fashion, rolling their hips together in shallow thrusts, the sensations enough to drive them both crazy with need. Within moments Ste felt himself nearing the edge. He pushed their sweat-slicked bodies together as he came, licking a line of sweat from Brendan's collar bone. Brendan followed him soon after, Ste locking his legs around him and allowing Brendan to buck against him.

Ste pulled back to grin at him, his hair now plastered to his forehead. He rolled off of him at the right moment when two guests entered. Brendan grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the steam room straight to the showers opposite. Ste felt light-headed on his feet, his heart thumping rhythmically in his chest. The cold water of the shower eased the sweat from his body and made his skin tingle. Brendan pushed them against the back of the shower out of sight and kissed him hungrily with the promise of more later.

They tried a few more spa rooms but Ste couldn't get adjusted to most of them. Eventually they crashed out on one of the water beds, Ste curled around Brendan. A few guests looked their way but didn't comment. Ste was glad; the last thing he needed was Brendan kicking off.

"I like it here." Ste murmured against his chest. The hairs were flat with sweat.

"Me too." Brendan admitted softly. He sounded sad again. Ste pulled himself up onto one elbow.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Well there's obviously something."

Brendan sighed, looking away. Ste grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at him.

"Tell me." He implored.

"Being away with ye is just…"

"What?"

"Perfect?" Brendan laughed throatily.

"And…?"

"I don't know what I did to deserve this, to deserve ye."

"Bren… you know what you've done. Me and you are for good. You know that, don't you?"

"I wouldn't blame ye if-"

"If what?"

"It's stupid." Brendan mumbled, embarrassed.

"No, what?"

"If ye wanted to trade me in for a younger model."

Ste couldn't keep a straight face. He laughed outright, loud and distracting. Brendan shushed him, pulling him back against his chest.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"That guy at reception-"

"Is nothing!" Ste sighed, sitting up again. "You can't worry every time some bloke looks at me."

"But how many times do I have to worry about losing ye?" Brendan expelled a long breath, as though he'd been pondering this for a while.

"You don't. I'm right here! I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" Brendan asked a little shakily. It was unnerving, seeing him like this.

"Are you not telling me something? What was all that with Amy on the phone?"

"What? That was… nothing. She was just making sure I look after ye."

"Brendan, I can look after myself. I'm a grown man you know."

"Indeed ye are." Brendan replied, the humour back in his voice. Ste deflated in relief.

"We should probably go pick the kids up soon."

"What's this special treat gonna be?"

"I thought we could go for a family dinner at that American restaurant, Hucks wasn't it?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

Ste got up first, Brendan following closely behind. He felt a hand at his backside, pulling.

"Hey!"

"Yer trunks were all bunched up." Brendan laughed against him, low and deep. Ste shivered a little, remembering their time in the spa room.

"They have showers in here, right?" He asked as they walked into the changing room.

"Want a repeat of this morning do ye?"

"Naturally."

"I'm happy to oblige." Brendan smirked, pulling him into a cubicle and locking the door.

Ste shimmied out of his trunks, wincing a little as the hot water hit them. Brendan gathered him in his arms, swallowing his satisfied moans.

They emerged sometime later, dripping wet and beaming. One of the men about to enter the showers gave them an appalled look but Brendan simply sneered at him, slapping Ste's arse on his way out.

"Jesus, I could eat right about now." Brendan groaned, his stomach rumbling for good measure.

"They do burgers at Hucks." Ste told him.

Brendan growled at the thought of it.

Ste pulled his towel around himself as he got changed, knowing it would make Brendan uncomfortable otherwise. He gave him a little flash though when he pulled his boxers on, making him smile. He didn't look sad anymore; the sex and thought of food lulling him as usual. Ste tucked his concern to the back of his mind, ready to ponder later. There were still some things he didn't know or understand about Brendan. His past, his childhood. Sometimes it was better to let things lie but they couldn't continue with this insecurity, not now they were married and settled.

"Ready to go?" Brendan asked, guiding him forwards by the small of his back.

Ste turned back to smile at him, just because he could. He would get to the bottom of Brendan's worry eventually but until then he would continue to enjoy their time together away from the village and all the memories it held.