Disclaimer: I own nothing everything belongs to their respectful owners. I am merely borrowing characters.
A/N: Ok so this is just a little one shot set after love bites. It is all Pacey POV. I think I may make this into something more but at this time, it is a one shot fic. Enjoy! Oh and the song is called Afterglow. italics are flashbacks
Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window Bathed in blue,
the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses
it is you and the roses
Pacey had been wondering around the marina for what seemed like hours but only it was like twenty minutes. He had been replaying the night's events repeatedly in his head trying to figure out exactly where he went wrong. He tried so hard to make this night everything that she had dreamed of considering the last time that they attended a school dance it ended in a disaster. He told himself he was not going to let her go this time he was determined to make this work no matter what he had to do. Nevertheless, here he was alone and broken and no better off than he was two weeks ago. He takes a seat on the dock and looks out into the water.
Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow as I let you go
I will find my way when I see your eyes
now I'm living in your afterglow
He thinks back to everything that they had been through. She was there for him when no one else would be. She believed in him when no one else would she was the one person who stood by him no matter what. Even after the way he had treated, her at prom when they were in high school she still managed to be his friend and confidant. The last two weeks had been amazing between them for once in his entire life he felt truly happy. It was like the stars were finally in line and everything was perfect. It was the second chance he had been waiting for. "Eddie Came Back." those three damn words replay in his mind like a broken record. Why now of all times did he have to come back and ruin everything? When she told him that Eddie came back it was like his whole world around him came crashing down. He knew there was nothing he could do once she said those words. She was gone and he had no more fight in him. There was no turning back once those words were spoken he could handle her not feeling the same way he did because he knew deep down it was a lie and she was scared just like he was and it gave him some kind of hope but, this well it changes everything. He was not going to stand in her way anymore no matter how much it killed him to let her go but if this Eddie person made her happy, he could stand in the way.
Pacey put his hands behind his head and leaned back on the dock. He begins to think back to their relationship.
Here I am, lost in the ashes of time,
but who wants tomorrow?
In between the longing to hold you again,
I am caught in your shadow; I am losing control my mind drifts away,
we only have today
"I've been meaning to ask you something all night." Joey walks up to where Pacey is sitting
"What that might be?" Pacey looks at Joey
"Will you dance with me?" Joey holds her hand out
"Sure." Pacey takes her hand and they begin to sway to the music
"Why does this feel so right?" Pacey asks holding her close
"I don't know maybe it's all those dance lesson we took." Joey shakes her head and smiles
"Where'd you get those, they're not you." Pacey asks taking her ear in his hand and looking at the diamond earring
"Why cause Dawson gave them to me, or because I'm just poor tomboy?" Joey ask offended by Pacey's question
"Neither. See this is you, it's not showy or gaudy just simple." Pacey runs a finger through the bracelet
"It was my mom's," Joey says quietly
"I know." Pacey says
"How did you -"
" you told me about six months ago, you were wearing that sweater the one with the snowflakes and I was giving you a hard time and you said look Pacey I just found my mothers bracelet will you cut me some slack." Pacey describes
"You remember that?" Joey says in almost a whisper
"I remember everything Jo." Pacey whispers in her ear.
In addition, he did…..he remembered the way her hair always smelt like strawberries, how she always would ramble when she was nervous. He had memorized every curve of her body. The sarcastic back and forth banter between them. He remembered it all. Those memories that kept him sane while he was on that boat in the Caribbean now only caused him pain and regret. That was it there was nothing more he could do she was gone. Now it was his time to move on. As hard as it was going to be he had to let her go.
When the veils are gone as, I let you go, as I let you go
He started to get up when he saw her standing there in the distance beautiful as ever. He closed his eyes and opened them again thinking that this was a dream.
"Joey." He says in a whisper. He closes his eyes thinking that this has to be a dream. When he opens them, she is still there.
"Hey." She tells him looking at the ground.
"What are you doing here? I thought you left to go find Eddie?" I ask her slowly walking towards her.
"Pace I got in that cab and as soon as I pulled up to his house I found myself tired….tired of always letting my stupid pride get in the way, tired of always being scared, tired of second guessing things, mostly I am tired of running. Pace I don't want to run anymore." She looks him in the eyes with the most innocent look possible. For a moment, I let myself get lost in those big chocolate eyes.
"Jo…you and I have been through hell and back, When you told me that you it didn't feel right it I was ok but, then you told me Eddie came back it was like my entire world crumbled at your feet." I tell her trying to keep my composure I want so bad right now to pull her close to me and never let go but I know that cannot happen.
"I am so sorry Pace what do you want me to say?" Joey asks taken aback but the hurt that is in his eyes.
"Jo I don't know if there is anything left to say." I tell her
"So that's it you're giving up?" I can hear the agitation in her voice and I know we have reached the point of no return.
"Me? I am giving up. I am not the one who left me standing there like a fool to chase her ex boyfriend." I laugh at the irony of the situation that has been presented to us.
"Pace I said I'm sorry but I guess that's not enough now is it?" Joey tells me as her voice begins to crack.
"Jo I don't want and apology all I ever wanted was a second chance." I tell her as I reach for a rouge hair and tuck it behind her ear. The feel of her skin sends chills down my spine.
"Pace I don't know if that is possible." she tells me as she pushes my hand away.
"What do you mean?" I ask her not sure if I want to hear the answer.
"We've done this before Pace and look where it got us?" Joey tells me.
"Ya, but Jo you were just saying you were tired of running, I get it I do you're scared and believe me I am scared as hell right now but if we are doomed to make the same mistakes then so be it. But I don't want to live my life without knowing." I tell her taking a step closer towards her.
"Pace I want nothing more than a second chance but I just think that our timing is way off." Joey tells me
"Jo please don't do this." I grab her hand and place it in mine.
"Do what?" Her voice is thick with emotion.
"Don't run away from what might be the best thing that has ever happened to both of us." I tell her while looking into her eyes.
"What if we screw this up?" She asks me leaning closer to me I can feel the warmth of her breath against my face.
"Then so be it. Jo I love you I always have and I always will." with that I close the distance and my lips gently touch hers.
"I Love you too Pace." She tells me as she breaks the kiss and leans her head on my shoulder.
"Pace?" I hear someone say to me.
"What the hell?" I look around me confused.
"You ok man?" The familiar voice asks
"Huh? Ya, uhmm did you by chance see Joey here?" I ask hoping that it was not a dream and she really did come back.
"No man why?" Dawson asks me looking at me with confusion.
"Nothing man forget it." I get up from the dock and continue my walk. Hoping that one day my dream will come true but until then I guess I will walk in the afterglow.
Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way, I will sacrifice
Now I'm living in your afterglow
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses
It's you who is closest