Well hey all! What's this? I'm posting EARLY!? well, 40 minutes early... (an hour and 10 min if you're going from when I posted last week hahahaha) I feel like these Thursdays are getting farther apart... It seems so long since I posted the last chapter!
I wish I had something exciting to tell you guys...but alas, my life this past week has been boring. Like, ridiculously boring.
Oh! I got it! Funny story. So you know how last week I posted late and like, explained how I had forgotten to do review responses etc blah blah? Well, I posted the chapter, then Xed out of the internet and realized the Word document of the chapter I had uploaded was still open, so I closed out of that...and it asked me if I wanted to save changes. I was like "HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T UPLOAD THE EDITED CHAPTER!" So I had to then quickly reupload the chapter, add back in all my review responses, add in the page breaks etc, and post it as quickly as possible. Fun times...not.
Anywho... I'm pretty sure a lot of you have been looking forward to this chapter so without further ado... :D
Chapter Thirteen
It was just after dinner when the jeep carrying Meg finally reached Aldbourne. It was a sight for sore eyes and she smiled to herself when she spotted the lights on in all the barracks. Sighing in contentment at the sight, Meg jumped from the jeep and, after a quick wave to the driver, headed to Colonel Sink's office to report in. Despite the fact that all she wanted to do was get out of the ridiculous clothes she was wearing, the Colonel would want to know she was back. Besides, she didn't want Marco to find out she was shirking her duties.
After taking one step into the building, Meg knew her brother had been hard at work. No one stared, no one asked questions, they all just nodded a hello and went back to work. A normal person would stare openly at the beaten up look she had, how could they not when it was so obvious? Adam must have warned them not to and she didn't know whether to feel grateful or annoyed at this.
"Colonel," she said as she stepped into his office.
Sink looked up and did a slight double take before clearing his throat.
"I see you're back," he said awkwardly and she nodded, feeling the tension rise. She wanted so much to cover the bruise over her eye with her hands but she knew that would draw more attention to it. So instead she pretended it wasn't there, standing up straighter so he wouldn't take more pity on her. Wasn't an agent supposed to be tough and composed at all times? She could play that role well; she was good at putting up a facade.
"Yes I'm back," she said formally. "I just wanted to check in with you before I retired to my quarters," she added and he nodded.
"Understood. It's good to have you back Myeroff."
Meg managed a forced smile before turning and heading out of the office, the only thought on her mind where to find a lighter so she could burn this dress. Despite feeling elegant in it hours before, now she just felt sleazy. The thought of it up in flames made her sadistically happy.
As she walked across the training yard and toward her bunk, she managed to bump into George.
She knew Adam had to have warned him, but that didn't stop her from feeling self-conscious as his eyes were drawn up to her black eye.
"Meg..." he said in a pitying tone. Then he seemed to snap out of it and a forced grin appeared on his face. "Good to have you back kiddo. Meals haven't been as fun without you."
"Well meals weren't as fun without you either," she said, feeling herself smile even though she knew he was just being polite. As it was in Colonel Sink's office, she felt the tension rising. These men may be able to put up a facade but she could tell they were uncomfortable about her injuries and they didn't know what to do about them. "I'm actually off to get out of these ridiculous clothes," she said, referring to the gown and fur coat. "I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"
"Sure sure, I'll save you a seat at breakfast," George said before turning and continuing on his way.
Alone again, Meg was soon walking through the door of their quarters, already eyeing her bed.
"Meg," Adam said, scrambling to his feet and hurrying over to her. Despite his warnings to the other men, he couldn't help but ask her if she was alright.
"I'm fine, just tired," she said, brushing it off. "What are you doing?" she asked, pointing to where his bag was packed on his bed. It looked suspiciously like he was leaving again and she briefly wondered where he would be going. Then she realized she was too tired to care and wished she hadn't said anything.
"Marco wants me to report to Base earlier than Thursday. That's why he sent you back here; he figured I could bring your notes with me."
Meg nodded in understanding as she handed over the sheets of paper. That was one less thing to worry about at least.
"When do you leave?" she asked, realizing her voice was coming out weak and raspy. She definitely needed sleep and she hoped Adam would realize it too.
"My orders were to head out as soon as you got back...so I guess now."
Normally, finding out her brother would be leaving her so soon after getting back would make her upset. Especially after a mission with the General. However in her current state all she could be bothered with was a small shrug and a nod. Walking forward, he placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled her in for a light hug.
"Make sure to ice everything so you're not sore. And rub ointment on the cuts. You may want to stop over and see the medics tomorrow. They-"
"I got it Adam," Meg said a little forcefully, annoyed at his babying. However in her tired state it came out as more of a frustrated whimper. "You just go get those papers to Marco. I got good stuff this time."
"Alright, hang in there kid," Adam said, giving her a loving look before turning and heading out into the night.
Meg turned to take in the room with a sigh. Walking over to the floor-length mirror in the corner, she dropped the large fur coat and took a good look at herself.
Along with the large black eye that was already starting to yellow, Meg had small bruises on her neck, bruises in the shape of hands on both arms, and from how it felt, bruises on her thighs as well. She also had a large cut on the back of her head from where she had hit it on the floorboard. Because it had bled on the pillows that night, the General had slapped her face, drawing blood across her cheek from his one ring. The cut that remained was thin and only an inch long, but it still added to her worn out look.
Looking in that mirror, what she saw hurt her even more. She knew she had inherited her mother's beautiful looks, and she knew the General wouldn't keep asking for her if he didn't find her attractive, but as she looked at herself in the mirror, she felt ugly. She hated how he did this to her, made her feel less than she was. She was stronger than this, and what other people thought never bothered her, so how come one day with the General could make her hate herself?
With a groan of frustration, she ripped the obnoxious diamond necklace from her neck and threw it to the ground where the clasps shattered, sending diamonds spinning across the floor. Still angry, she reached for the closest thing she could find, her wooden jewelry box, and chucked it at the mirror with a scream of frustration.
The mirror shattered, sending glass shards everywhere. She felt the pricks on her skin and knew she had added more cuts to her battle wounds, but at the moment she didn't care.
"Meg!?" a familiar voice shouted from outside and soon the door was thrown open. As two sets of boots rushed toward her from behind, she buried her face in her hands and let loose a sob.
"Go away," she mumbled through her fingers before another sob escaped her lips. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. Hell, she didn't even want Adam to see her like this. This Meg was weak, pathetic and vulnerable. If people saw her like this, they'd think she had gone back to the old Meg, the Meg who had spent a year in Level 3. She had changed and this was just a moment of weakness; she didn't want anyone to think she was relapsing.
She heard whispers exchanged before one set of boots retreated, the door slamming behind the owner.
Meg knew exactly who was still there, and as much as she had thought about him over the past 24 hours, she couldn't stand the idea of looking Lewis Nixon in the face in her condition. As he took a step to walk toward her front she spun, turning her body so her back was still to him.
"Meg," he said again, this time much softer. At the sound of his tone, she couldn't help but pull her face slowly from her hands, looking up at him with tear-stained cheeks. The look of anger that crossed his face at seeing her wounds made her turn away from him again.
"Please go away," she asked again, refusing to look at him. Why did her voice have to sound so weak? Why couldn't she muster up enough forcefulness to make him realize she didn't want to be anywhere near anyone right now?
"No," he said firmly and she stiffened at how angry he sounded. "I'm not leaving you like this."
"Please, I'm disappointed in myself enough for both of us," she said as she reached her hands up to swipe her fingers under her eyes. As she wiped away the tears, she heard him release a loud breath of air.
"You think I'm angry because I'm disappointed in you?" he asked, walking around so he was standing in front of her again. When she tried to turn away, his hands shot up to grab her upper arms firmly, keeping her facing him. "Jesus Christ Meg, nothing's farther from the truth. I'm angry because of what those bastards did to you."
His serious statement caught Meg off guard and she looked up at him with startled eyes. Instead of answering however, she pulled away and walked over to the shattered mirror, looking at herself in the remaining shards. There weren't many, she had done quite a number to the glass, but there were enough for her to see the ugly bruises. How could Lew not be disgusted with her? She was certainly disgusted with herself. Disgusted of what she had let the General do to her.
Thoughts of the General brought a fresh wave of distress over her and she sighed, hugging herself.
"I can't get the feel of him off of me," she said as she ran her hands up and down her arms. Never mind the fact that she shouldn't be speaking of the General to Lew. Never mind the fact that this was classified information and she could get in big trouble. Right now, she just felt the need to have someone understand. "I can still feel his fingers on my skin."
As she stood in the remnants of the mirror, Lew walked over and joined her, looking over her shoulder at her reflection. She jumped lightly when she suddenly felt his fingers begin to stroke up and down her arms gently; comfortingly.
It was the same thing the General had done the night before, but when Lew did it, the chills on her skin were from pleasure and excitement.
Closing her eyes, she let herself relax for the first time in hours, allowing herself to feel safe. This was Lew she was with, the man she had spent the last night thinking about to get her mind off the General. This was the man she had admitted she might care for as more than a friend. If she didn't feel safe with him, she'd never feel safe with anyone.
She jumped again when she felt his lips touch her shoulder. They stayed there for a few seconds before he dragged his lips down, continuing to place moist kisses along her skin. Keeping her eyes closed, she tilted her head back, sighing with pleasure. Thoughts of going to bed immediately left her mind, filling it with thoughts of contentment instead.
The General had certainly never made her feel like this. No man had ever made her feel like this. In fact, it was enough to make her forget about the General completely, something that usually took weeks.
In that moment, she was pleased with her decision to no longer avoid Lew's advances. If she hadn't already decided it, this moment would have done it. How would she have ever been able to resist this man, married or not?
Lew's lips traveled across her back and to her other shoulder, kissing down her arm and to the tips of each finger. Then he stopped, causing her to open her eyes. With a toss of his signature smirk, he continued, picking up her other arm and kissing up it, back to where he had started
Meg couldn't help the second sigh that released from her lips as Lew placed a final kiss on the top of her shoulder.
"Meg," he said again, and she could hear his voice was strained. She turned to look at him, startled by how deep his eyes seemed.
She had never wanted anybody as much as she wanted Lewis Nixon in that moment. However, despite her choice to give in to her feelings for him, she knew this wasn't the right time to do so. Her exhaustion was slowly returning and she needed sleep. Besides, she had just spent 24 hours of horror with the General. While 24 hours of pleasure with Lew would more than make up for it, she didn't know if they were ready for that yet. In her state of mind, she'd give in in a heartbeat, but a small part of her knew she might regret it in the morning.
"I should probably get some sleep," Meg said slowly and Lew nodded. Judging by his facial expression, pain mixed with a strong passion she had never seen on anyone before, she knew he was having the same thoughts. Now was not the right time to give in, no matter how much they both wanted it.
"Yeah," he said in a raspy voice before clearing his throat. "Yeah," he repeated more firmly, taking a step back. Immediately she wanted to reach out, to grab his wrist and pull him back to her; to never let him leave her again. It took so much strength to resist that she knew she would fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Her last bit of strength was waning and she needed to rejuvenate.
Neither spoke again as he turned and headed to the door. Just as he was walking through it, she called his name, causing him to stop.
"Thank you," she said, a soft smile gracing her lips. Lew smiled in return before heading out the door, letting it shut behind him.
And again she was alone.
Despite George's promise to save Meg a seat at breakfast, she chose to spend the day locked away.
Her decision came after looking at herself in the shards of mirror.
The bruise around her eye was a faded, sickly-looking yellow, making her look jaundice. The bruises on the rest of her body were fading as well, but she felt more sore than she had the day before. She was pleased to see the cut on her face was disappearing slightly as well. She hadn't been able to look how deep it was so she was worried it might scar. From the looks of things, it seemed to be perfectly healing.
Despite the healing, she still didn't feel like facing the stares. There was no way Adam talked to every single paratrooper in Aldbourne and even if he had, not all of them would be able to handle themselves as well as Colonel Sink and George had. She didn't feel like dealing with all that; she'd rather be alone. Wrapping herself in a blanket, she curled up on her bed and pulled a book to her.
It was her old copy of Gone With the Wind. She had read the large book multiple times but she always felt the need to pick it up again after a tough mission. She knew Adam had bought her Wuthering Heights so she had something new to read but for some reason Scarlett O'Hara always picked her up when she was down.
A knock on the door a little after noontime caused her to pause in her reading, calling for the visitor to come in. She had no idea who would be visiting her, and for a brief second she wondered if it would be Lew. That thought made her stomach drop. After last night, she was nervous to be around him again, even after reminding herself over and over that she wasn't going to let it bother her anymore.
She sat up straighter when she realized it was Dick. As he walked inside, she noticed he had a tea cup in his hands. As far as she knew, the American men weren't big tea drinkers. Then again, Dick didn't drink alcohol so he didn't exactly fall under the category of a normal Yank.
"To what do I owe this pleasure?" she asked with a smile, standing from her bed.
The realization of what she was doing shocked her. Usually after time with the General she would retreat within herself, too ashamed and embarrassed about what had happened to interact with people. She would be depressed and feel sorry for herself, refusing to open up to anyone, including Adam. Sure she had opened up to Lew the night before but she had chalked that one down as a mixture of relief and exhaustion.
However here she was giving Dick Winters a genuine smile. It was obvious being around these American men was healthy for her.
"I was just stopping by to bring you some tea. Don't you Limeys like tea?" Meg smirked at his teasing jest and nodded, reaching out to take the cup with hungry eyes. Tea was the cure for anything. "I also came to see if you were doing alright," Dick added, seeming slightly nervous as she paused and looked up at him. "You seemed pretty upset last night and I just wanted to make sure you were doing better."
"So you were the person who came in with Lew," she said with a nod. It made sense. However what didn't make sense was how much he seemed worried over her. Sure, she was friends with Dick, just like she was friends with most of Easy Company, but none of the others had stopped in to check on her. Even Lew seemed to be keeping his distance today.
"Yeah," Dick said, suddenly seeming more nervous. Meg didn't think it was possible but the man seemed to get shy about everything. "I left when you asked me to, but I still wanted to make sure you were alright."
"I'm doing much better thank you," she said, setting her book down permanently and walking forward. "Didn't Lew tell you I seemed better last night after he left?" Her question had an ulterior motive behind it. She wanted to know exactly how much Lew had told Dick; how much he had revealed about Meg's turmoil the night before.
At her question, Dick reached up and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
"Actually Nix seemed to think you were far worse than fine. He wanted me to come check and-"
"Hold on," Meg said, cutting him off. "Lew sent you to come check on me?" she scoffed in disbelief. "He couldn't come do that for himself?" She had thought last night was a step in the right direction for them, but now here Dick was telling her that Lew had sent him to check. Was he making Dick do his dirty work?
"He didn't think he could restrain himself," was Dick's response and Meg frowned before letting lose a disbelieving scoff.
"Restrain himself? From what, being disgusted at how my bruises look in the daylight?" The realization that Lew might not be as good a man as she thought made her stomach drop. What kind of man had she fallen for?
She was about to go off on how infuriating Lewis Nixon could be when Dick cut her off with a shocking revelation.
"No, restrain himself from flying to Germany and paying your friends a little visit."
Meg's eyes widened before her face became a confused frown.
"I don't understand," Meg said and Dick smiled, motioning for her to sit back down on the bed.
"He was pretty shaken up when he returned from here last night. I guess furious would be the correct word to use. I don't think he was completely serious, but I did have to tell him multiple times that going to Germany on his own was a pretty stupid idea. Not to mention basically impossible at this current moment in time."
Meg scoffed again, shaking her head.
"Why?" she asked, wondering why Lew would care so much.
Instead of answering, Dick just turned and headed back for the door.
"I think you can figure that one out on your own," he said before tipping his hat in farewell.
"Paratroopers are so frustrating," Meg said to herself after Dick had left.
"If there's one holiday I like better than Christmas, it's New Year's," Meg said as she sat in the office, helping David Webster sort mail. It was a punishment for an infraction that had occurred last week. He wouldn't tell Meg what it was but she thought it had something to do with skipping latrine duty.
Meg's bruises had healed nicely, now barely visible, especially when she covered them with a little makeup. She knew the men still saw them, but they were nice enough not to mention anything. It made things feel like they were back to normal. Almost.
"Why New Year's?" he asked, chuckling lightly as he grabbed another few envelopes to sort.
"I don't know," she admitted, pulling herself up to sit on the desk. "I suppose because I love snow, and holidays during winter are always so much more elegant."
"Elegant," he repeated, nodding his head in a teasing way. Obviously he thought her terminology was humorous.
"Oh don't laugh," she said as she reached for another envelope. "I thought you Harvard scholars were supposed to agree with romantic ideas."
David didn't give her a verbal response, instead shaking his head as he continued chuckling to himself.
"Hey Meg!" a voice called and she looked up to see Joe Toye and Bill walking in. Joe ran forward and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her up off the desk to spin her around before setting her on the floor. The move was so random and goofy that she couldn't help but giggle at Joe's actions. Sure it was stupid, but that was the type of things the Easy boys did that made her feel better about her life.
"So who's gonna be your New Year's kiss?" Bill asked and Meg just smiled coyly, shrugging.
"Whoever gets to me first," she said with a wink before turning her attention back to the letters. "Of course since I don't plan on going out or anything, you boys will have to find me."
"Where's the fun in that?" Joe asked and Meg looked him in the eye.
"Where's the fun in me getting trampled by 500 enlisted men when the clock strikes midnight?" she shot back and he nodded, giving her the point. "No, I'll be the first to admit I love New Year's but I prefer spending it in peace and quiet."
"I think that's how most of us are gonna spend it," Bill said. "This next year's gonna be a big one. Who knows if most of us will even see 1945."
"Bill don't say that," Meg scolded as she turned away from the letters to face her three Easy men. "I don't like when people talk like that." They could tell the statement had upset her and Bill instantly felt guilty.
David opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but Bill shook his head, causing him to stop.
"So Adam's gone?" Joe asked, changing the subject.
"Yes," Meg said, feeling herself daze out. "I'll probably be leaving again soon. Adam said we should expect to be spending less time in Aldbourne and more time... out there."
"I'm sure we'll all be out there soon," Bill said, walking forward and patting her on the shoulder as he walked past. "If I don't see you before, Happy New Year kid."
"Happy New Year Bill," Meg said, walking forward to give him a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Then she turned and did the same to Joe. The two paratroopers nodded goodbye to David before disappearing back out the door.
"Hey where's mine?" David asked with a slight whine and Meg tapped him on the nose.
"I'm not leaving you yet. We still have tons of letters to do!" she scolded before the two of them got back to work.
A cup of tea and a good book sounded like a perfect idea to Meg. Definitely a perfect way to bring in the New Year quietly. Retiring to her quarters after dinner, she curled up on her bed and pulled out a new book Adam had left behind. It was in French but she figured it could help bring back her French reading skills. Besides, she had finished both Gone With the Wind and Wuthering Heights in the last week, what else was she supposed to read?
Her evening was quiet, just the way she liked it. When a group of men walked past her window singing Auld Lang Syne, Meg glanced over at her clock, realizing it was almost midnight.
When she was younger, Meg, Adam and their mother used to sit up on New Year's Eve and watch for any fireworks out the window. If the moon was a spectacular sight that year, they'd stare at it too. Most people celebrated the holiday by going out to be with their friends at lavish parties. The Myeroffs preferred to watch the partygoers from the comfort of their home; audience members to a sophisticated show.
That was what Meg missed the most. Sitting in the rocking chair with her mother as they watched the rest of the world ring in the New Year. Theirs had always been quiet, and that's how Meg liked to spend it.
Wrapping her blanket tighter around herself, she walked over to the front window and looked out, spotting the moon at half full. With a smile, she sat down on the tabletop and looked up, deciding there was no better way to ring in the New Year.
When the clock struck the first dong of midnight, Meg sighed, realizing the symbolism. This New Year would certainly be a big one for her.
Just as the clock struck its seventh dong, Meg heard a rushing sound outside and her door was thrown open. Standing up on impulse, she reached for anything to defend herself, panicking when she came up with nothing. Why did this always seem to happen?
"Meg," a familiar voice said firmly and she looked up, having just enough time to realize it was Lew before he was grabbing her face, crushing his lips down to her own.
It took her a moment to understand exactly what was happening but when she did, Meg couldn't help but sigh and bring her hands up to rest on his arms. Finally, after all their waiting and tension, their kiss was happening.
A brief thought of what Katharine would say entered her mind but Meg quickly shoved it away. She had told herself she wasn't going to do that, she wasn't going to beat herself up over something that seemed destined to happen. Right now she was just going to enjoy the feel of being in Lew's arms.
As the kiss continued, the forcefulness of Lew's lips waned a bit, backing off to become less harsh when he realized she was returning the kiss with just as much passion. The two pulled each other closer, arms wrapped tightly together as if they couldn't get enough of each other. With a gentle prod from Lew, Meg's mouth opened, allowing him to deepen the kiss as he brought his hand back to cradle her head, tangling his fingers in her hair tightly.
To Meg it felt like the kiss went on for hours. When they broke away however, she glanced at the clock and realized it was only 12:03. They stood there, panting softly as they looked at each other. Both seemed to be speechless, slightly shocked by what had just happened and by how perfect it had been.
"Happy New Year," Meg finally said, looking him in the eye with a slightly out of breath smile.
Lew chuckled as he brought his forehead down to rest against hers.
"Happy New Year Meg," he said before tilting his head and attaching his lips to hers once more.
Ahhhhhh! Are you freaking out!? I'm freaking out! Review and tell me: are you freaking out!?
LauRa-ReaDinG-XoX - I'm glad you liked the chapter. And yeah, her mission does have adventure! I wanted people to realize Meg did more than just like, passing confidential notes etc. She plays a big role in what's going on. What did you think about Meg's thoughts on their relationship in this chapter? Thanks for reviewing!
LovingBOBThePacific - First, I'm going to read more of your story after I post this haha. I totally neglected it this week; I'm such a bad reviewer! Second, yeah I really liked writing Meg's past. It's dark, but it shows so much more of her. Thanks for your review! Hope you liked this chapter! (and the interaction with Joe ;) haha)
SparkELee - Sorry about having you worried lol. Hopefully this chapter was up at a good time for you haha. Feel free to PM me if you start getting frustrated with my lack of update. Maybe it'll force me to stick to the schedule more! And seriously, once again your review made my week. In fact, I was soo completely touched by your review that I broke down and told my mom about my story (she previously didn't know I had anything published online) JUST so I could read her your review! So now I must ask, what did you think of his reaction? Yay? Nay? I mean, he didn't completely find out what she had to do, but I have a feeling he knows to some extent. How can he not, right? Anyway, thanks for your always inspiring reviews! Hope you liked the chapter!
caught-offsides - Glad you liked the chapter! What did you think of this one? And yeah, I wanted to make sure people knew just how involved she is in everything. Don't worry, it'll get more intense at some point. Thanks for your review!
IceColdInAlex - Yeah, I'm pissed about the spelling errors haha. I was a newspaper editor for over a year, small typos make me furious, but too late now lol. That's what I get for posting so last minute! Yeah, I really want Meg to be a prominent part of all this so I'm glad it's obvious. And I know, a lot of female spies had to do that as their job. It's depressing to say, but back then that's pretty much all female spies could do. Anything else was considered out of character and would be suspicious. That's what I wanted to portray Meg as. She's so involved in her job and so dedicated to it, that she'd rather be a spy and do this than not be a spy, you know? And after this chapter, what were you saying about calm and collected? haha jk jk, but yeah, for the most part she holds it in pretty well...for the most part. Thanks for the review! I hope your writing and school went well!
paintmyworlddarkblue - Yeah, Meg has a lot more layers to her than anyone realized I think (including the men of Easy.) She is a strong person, but I think this chapter also showed that she's just as vulnerable as anyone else. What did you think of her return home? did it meet your expectations? And yeah, my barn is fun. We've got goats, a horse, and rabbits. Fun times hahahaha, but sometimes they all get annoying. Like tonight I was cuddling with my horse and he hit me in the head with his head and now I have a huge bump on my forehead...NOT fun haha. Anyway, thanks for the review!