A/N: Think of this fic as being in the thematic vein of Xena – "One week they're melodrama, the next week they're Three Stooges. And they're way too serialized!" Violent crime drama, baby/family humor, and some romance thrown into a blender, basically.

X-X

Ben Jacobs was uncomfortable. It could have been that he'd been thrown in a locked, windowless, airless room for over two days. It could have been the indignity of having to use a bucket chained to a wall in place of a toilet. It could have been that he'd been grabbed, blindfolded, gagged, and then tied to a chair for an indeterminate length of time using a combination of duct tape and zip ties.

With a yank, the blindfold was off and he squinted into the bright light of a lamp trained on his face. He could see a large tarp on the floor under his feet, and a handful of human shapes outside the light.

"Did you not… understand our contract, Mister Jacobs?" came a soft, steely voice.

He shook his head.

"Then did you not get that going behind my back and getting into the body business with Avery would perhaps make me unhappy?" A slight woman's figure stepped into view. Meredith Grey was perturbed.

"Oh, I think he knew exactly what he was doing. Double-timing you, boss," piped up a higher-pitched voice. From behind, he could feel something sharp running gently down the back of his neck.

"I think you're right, April," Meredith nodded.

A taller form came up to Meredith's side. Ben gulped. Callie Torres looked pissed. "Two dead women, babies born in a truck, people – children - kidnapped from five different states. In a warehouse loading dock that everyone in Seattle knows works for Meredith Grey. Worked, I should say." She tapped a baseball bat against the side of her boot. "Unfortunate, really, how the whole place fucking burned to the ground last night. Too bad, so sad. The fire alarms never sounded. Total loss."

Ben whimpered.

"And you couldn't even bother to inform your regular employees, Mister Jacobs. They were very confused as to why we are… displeased. Not to worry. The ones who were ignorant have found new jobs. With Hubbard Packing, whom I believe you tried to buy out last year. They know how to uphold a contract. Too bad about the new people you hired just for those special shipments. I don't know when their corpses'll be found." Meredith grinned, her lips curling over her teeth – a terrifying sight that loosened Ben's control of his bladder. A thin line of piss traveled down his leg onto the tarp below his feet. "You know, not all my businesses are, shall we say, perfectly legal. Some might even call me a criminal." She buffed the nails of one hand against her shirt. "But I'm not scum, Mister Jacobs. Not like you. Not like the flesh-peddlers you decided to double-cross me for."

"And you know what we do with scum, don't you, Ben?" Callie purred. "We skim it off the top, and we throw it away. Leaves the rest of us decent types without the stink of your kind in the pot."

"First, though," April said from behind him, knife playing against his shoulder, poking holes in his sweat-soaked shirt but not quite breaking his skin, "we could use some information. You want to help us with that, don't you? I think you do."

Before the screaming began, the last thing Ben Jacobs remembered seeing was Callie Torres approaching him with her baseball bat. She swung, and everything became pain.

X-X

Lunch during a regular day for Callie generally meant grabbing the leftovers from the previous night out of the breakroom fridge, using the microwave, and then tracking down her girlfriend for some food, snuggling, and possibly a quickie in Arizona's office – since her partner often forgot to either bring food, or eat it.

Lunch after a morning extracting information and beating the shit out of Ben Jacobs was instead spent in the breakroom, gulping down her reheated leftovers while Arizona fed the baby they'd be taking home that night. Bottle and half the leftovers consumed, she took over for burping duty and handed over the rest of the food to Arizona.

Meredith walked in, baby in one arm and cell in the other. "Okay, we have a meeting at two," she said, "Teddy's putting together the intel we have for Avery's moves into town. And then Addie is going to come set up birth certificates for these girls afterward. So we'll need a name for yours. Oh, and then you get the rest of the day off, plus tomorrow to settle in. I'm taking it too, I sent Derek to get a crib today but there's all that other stuff involved in baby care that I know we don't have." She looked up at her employee's gobsmacked expressions. "Oh, and Bailey dropped off Tuck's old car seat for you to borrow. She wants it back, though, by the end of the week. She's babysitting for her sister's kids this weekend. That gives you three days to get your own." She grinned and added, "I picked up one last night."

The two women shared a long glance. Things were moving fast for them, but it was more a matter of desperately mentally rearranging schedules than panic at the thought of expanding their family with a few pieces of (mostly forged) paper.

"Okay, I need to put Alex on the hotel financials, and I'm halfway through the cleaned-up taxes for Joe's. He can do that easy enough, but I'll double check it of course," Arizona said. "I know you've got him deconstructing Jacobs' stuff right now, but those two have higher priority deadlines."

"No problem. I'll have Mousey start on some of the Jacobs' investigation Cristina was doing, and shift more of the load of that paperwork onto her," Meredith nodded.

"Can Mousey even do forensic accounting?" Callie asked with disbelief.

"It was my minor. Regular accounting was my major," said a hesitant voice from the doorway.

"First in her class, too. She's been doing some good work already. Projects I thought she should dip her toes into," Cristina offered from where she was eating her hot dog and perusing a paper copy of the Wall Street Journal. "I might almost bother to learn her actual name if that keeps up."

Mousey turned bright red, but a small smile graced her lips.

"Okay, well then, I'll forward what I'm doing to Alex and he can break down what's left to work on," Arizona nodded.

"Sounds fine. Work a little from home if you have the chance, but really, family time is more important," Meredith said.

"I've got a couple operations I was planning to coordinate. But I have to install a new gun safe, apparently, even though newborns can't crawl, so I might pass it off to April if no one minds," Callie added.

"Get Bailey to help her. April doesn't know the street layout enough for what you're doing this afternoon," Cristina said bluntly, familiar with the situation. It was true. April was fairly new to town – only about five years – while Bailey had grown up in the Emerald City. Callie acquiesced with a nod, texting her subordinates with instructions one-handed as the baby drooled into the towel laid over her shoulder.

X-X

"So we already know that Avery's in town. Their primary businesses are loan sharking, human cargo, and drugs – mostly cocaine distribution though they dip into just about anything you can smoke, snort, or inject. There's a shipping company veneer over it all, but their legal stuff is very thin and not diversified at all," Teddy said with scorn. The Grey empire was involved in sports, hotels, bars, dry cleaners, convenience stores, construction companies, all on top of the regular shipping and security work. Many of Meredith's employees didn't even know they were technically part of one of the largest crime organizations in the Northwest. Her legitimate businesses paid for themselves and turned profits regularly.

Teddy pressed a button on her laptop and the Powerpoint slide changed. "This is Jackson Avery, only twenty seven, heir apparent to Catherine Avery. Known for arrogance and a sense of entitlement beyond what he's actually worth. She's either testing him by sending him out here mostly alone, to see if he can make it, or she's just an idiot." She grimaced. "He's a well-known suspect to the cops in Boston in at least five murders. Fucking idiot. They haven't pinned anything on him that'll stick, but it's probably only a matter of time."

"Which means there'll be attention on him. Great," Cristina grumbled.

Teddy nodded and clicked her laptop again, "This is his right-hand man, Mark Sloan. They're called the Plastics Posse because most of the people they go after, if they survive, need a lot, and I mean a lot, of plastic surgery to get back either bodily function or to just not look like escapees from a slasher flick. He actually was a plastic surgeon before he was stripped of his license for repeatedly using sub-par breast implants on his patients. He'd perform a perfect surgery and then the implant would explode inside the body a few months later. Brilliant, angry, skilled."

"Brutal, effective, distinctive," Callie mused, pointing to a few photographs Teddy had displayed of the Plastics Posse's work. "Immature, really. There's causing pain and then there's reveling in it, and that just implies nasty nasty things about their heads."

"The psych profiles from Boston homicide of them as individuals and a pair are pretty chilling," Teddy admitted. "It's in the file." She clicked again, "Owen Hunt. Ex Army. Much saner, very methodical. He's worked for Catherine Avery for years, probably sent as a sort of supervisor, or at least someone who can report back to her what's going on. He's not really leader material, but he's an excellent right hand. Leah Murphy, fairly new to the whole organization, and not terribly good at following the rules, even for someone in our errr line of work. She started as a receptionist at one of the packing plants the Averys own. Stephanie Edwards – most reports put her as Jackson's girlfriend. We aren't exactly sure what she really does."

"It probably involves being flat on her back," Cristina snarked.

Teddy nodded, "Yeah. She's trained as a paralegal, but… yeah. Anyway, those are the people we're sure have made it out here. I'm sure there are more workers and thugs, but these are the ones to watch for, really."

"What have you got on their business contacts? And what have we extracted from the Jacobs' paperwork already?" Meredith asked.

The meeting turned to Arizona's domain of information, "We're still breaking it down, as you know, but so far as we can tell Jacobs was our only associate to be double crossing us."

"He confirmed that – as much as he could. He didn't know of anyone else, at least," Callie admitted to the rest of the room. Meredith had left halfway through the interrogation, and they hadn't gotten much else out of him afterwards.

"Which means there's probably four or five that have at least been approached," Cristina pointed out.

"I've got my contacts listening closely," Richard offered. "There's been a few grumblings, but nothing substantial."

"Well, look at the businesses they're most likely to subvert, and let's do some surprise visits," Meredith said. "I want to start on that by Monday."

X-X

A half hour later found Meredith, Callie, and Arizona in the breakroom, where Mousey and Bailey had been keeping an eye on the babies while doing paperwork. Addison was in the middle of a quick exam when the three women arrived.

"Okay, ladies, I have birth certificates in dire need of names for these little ones. I've made up their parents and Stark did the death certificates last night," she said brightly. Richard Stark was an odious medical examiner who wrote up all the required 'official' paperwork when they had a body to get rid of quietly. "I believe Meredith's contact at Family Court will have the adoption paperwork within a few weeks?" She nodded in confirmation and Addison beamed.

Meredith was the first to pick up her child and speak softly with Addie.

"Alright, Meredith, you let me know how things go, and call me if you need anything. And you too, Miss Grace!" Addison said a few minutes later.

Grinning at her old friend, the doctor moved over to where Callie and Arizona were cuddled up with the baby on a couch. "Okay you two, got a name? I know most parents have a few months at least to figure this out, but you're bright ladies, I'm sure something's been knocking around those minds of yours."

Callie and Arizona exchanged gentle looks. "Nadia Teresa," Callie said softly.

Addison grinned. "Beautiful. You decided on a last name?"

Arizona smiled widely, "Robbins. Callie's changing her name when we get married." A happy squeal was the reply to that revelation.

"Don't get all excited, Addie," Callie remonstrated. "It's just gonna be a civil thing. Tiny. No party."

Pouting was an unusual look on a grown woman. "But, Callie!"

"No. No," Callie shook a finger at her friend. "Nothing. You can be a witness. Maybe buy us a drink afterwards. But that's it. We filed for the license before we came in this morning and we'll do the ceremony on Saturday. I'd make George do it, but, eh, even he can't bend the Catholic church that much. I have a justice of the peace who owes me a favor. We're only doing it for the legal protection anyway."

Arizona nodded at the baby in her arms, "Hear that, little one? Your mommies will be married, but still won't get the thousand rights the feds owe them!"

"Someone's bitter and decidedly unromantic," Addie coughed.

Arizona shrugged, meeting their friend's eyes, "Well, my awesome brother died serving this country and I still won't be able to file a joint tax return with Calliope next year, so yeah, I am a little bitter."

"Arizona won the 'whose last name will we use' contest because she actually had a relative with redeeming value," Callie said softly, both joking and totally serious.

"True!" Arizona laughed. "You're gonna be a Robbins, Nadia!"

X-X

"How the hell are we supposed to choose from all of this?" hissed Arizona as she bounced Nadia in her arms. The Babies R Us at the nearest mall was a little overwhelming. "We need fucking everything, and we need it now."

"Stop swearing in front of our kid," Callie hissed right back. "It's not that hard. Diapers, formula, bottles, clothes – lots of clothes, wipes, baby shampoo, blankets, a car seat, somewhere for her to sleep, a frigging teddy bear. That'll do for tonight. We can come back in the morning for a stroller and actual furniture."

"Tomorrow, perfect. Stop one: Babies R Us, stop two: the gun store for a new safe. We are classy, classy moms, Calliope," Arizona remarked. "Grab a cart!"

An hour later they were at the checkout with an overflowing cart and a cranky baby. They'd found a travel cradle, a threepack of onesies, diapers, formula, bottles, blankets, a car seat, wipes, and shampoo in short order – grabbing just enough to get them through the next day given that they had two onesies amongst a handful of diapers, wipes, and a single bottle in the bag Bailey had assembled for them before leaving headquarters. Checkout didn't take long and before they knew it, they were driving homeward, the car trunk full of baby supplies.

"Wash the blankets and clothes before we use them?" Callie asked hesitantly, pulling into their parking spot.

Arizona huffed, "Not everyone wears their underwear straight out of the package." Callie raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend. "That would be a yes, dear." As she unbuckled her seatbelt, Arizona turned to look at her soon-to-be-wife. "Let's get the bags in first. I think someone needs a change, anyway," she glanced fondly into the carseat secured behind them, "And then we can worry about figuring out that travel cradle."

Having heard mention of her diaper getting a change, Nadia started to murmur to herself. Her new mothers met each other's eyes and grinned. They grabbed their work bags and purse, then jumped out of the car to comfort their baby.

"I got her," Callie said, shooing Arizona towards the trunk. "Get what you can, but make sure the diapers are in there!"

Two heavily laden women made their way to their apartment door, letting themselves in as Nadia fussed in Callie's arms. Stepping inside, they looked at the open living area with fresh eyes. There were still two partially-assembled guns on the coffee table, and almost a week's worth of dishes piled in the sink. A few pieces of clothing were scattered on the floor where they'd been tossed in their haste to get to bed a few nights previous.

"Thank god she can't crawl yet," Arizona breathed. "We are so not prepared for this."

It was at that moment that Callie caught a whiff of a very full diaper and Nadia let out a rather ear-piercing scream before starting to cry.