So here it is again, Thursday!
Confession: I've kinda been off my Band of Bros kick for a bit. I got my friend hooked on Supernatural, the show (and by hooked I mean she watched 7.5 seasons in 3 weeks...and there are 22 episodes each season) and she got me re-hooked on it. THEN Best Buy had a sale on Black Friday and all Supernatural seasons were only $9.99 instead of $50 or whatever ridic price they were...so I bought them, just thinking it'd be nice to have them on hand. THEN I convinced my dad to watch the first episode (even though he thought the show was stupid). Anyway, since we watched the first episode 4 days ago, we've watched 11 episodes (who's stupid now dad!?) So yeah, what with that and my ridiculous excitement over the holidays (Don't worry, the Christmas special TV guide list is printed, highlighted, and hanging on my fridge) I haven't spent a TON of time rereading/editing/thinking about this story.
But don't worry, never in my life would I think about abandoning it! It's already 90% written anyway haha. But yeah, that's all that's been going on in my life lately.
Anyway, onto the story!
Chapter Twenty-One
It was 24 hours before Meg moved from her bed. Curled up in a ball, she cried until she had no tears left. Then she simply held herself, waiting for her tear ducts to fill up again as she continued to think of Adam, somewhere in Germany, most likely dead.
You don't know that for sure. She kept reminding herself. Stay positive! But deep down she knew the odds weren't in his favor. Five days was a long amount of time when one considered the mission he was on. He was only supposed to get into Germany, meet up with Swinson to make sure he was alive, and get out. The plan for that mission was supposed to take 12 hours in the best of circumstances, but only the absolute worst would make Adam silent for five days.
Lew had stopped in to see her after his meeting the first day, and again after dinner, but she hadn't acknowledged him either time. Unless the visitor was Adam, she wanted nothing to do with them.
The afternoon after everything had happened, Lew showed up at her door with a plate of food and a glass of water. When Meg tried to refuse him, he took her upper arms and shook her lightly before letting go. Instead he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look him in the face.
"Adam wouldn't want you to waste away because he was gone," he informed her before lifting the glass to her lips. She obliged, taking a few light gulps before turning her head away. Lew sighed before lifting a fork loaded with questionable-looking meat. "I'll force this down your throat if you make me," he said and she sighed before opening her mouth and swallowing the piece of food obediently.
"I can't believe he's gone," she said as she took the fork from him, lifting it to her lips and beginning to feed herself. She wasn't a baby after all.
"You don't know that Meg. And before you argue with me, think about it. Why don't we stay positive and assume he's alive unless we hear otherwise?"
"Because it's easier to expect bad news and be proven wrong than to expect good news," she stated and he rubbed a hand down his face with a frustrated sigh. She knew he wanted to yell at her for her pessimistic views but honestly, it was her safest bet. Past events in her life hadn't exactly taught her to be optimistic.
"Well Adam wouldn't want you to be acting like this," Lew said and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She stayed silent for a moment before finally speaking up.
"You know he said he approved," she said instead of responding to his statement. At his confused look, she continued. "We talked more about what was going on between you and I and he told me he approved, as long as I was happy."
Lew pulled her forward and placed a kiss on her forehead before pulling her face up to kiss her lips.
"You know I love you," he said as he rested his forehead against hers. She nodded against him as she felt tears fill her eyes again. Wasn't she just a waterworks lately? "Take all the time you need to pull yourself together, but we both know Adam would be pissed if he knew you were acting this way."
And before she could reply, he stood from the bed and strode out the door. As it shut behind him, Meg glanced down at the plate in her lap and continued to eat what was left.
"Did you hear?" Muck's voice practically echoed through the mailroom as he stomped inside, startling Meg and making her draw a ridiculously long pencil line across her sheet of paper. To occupy her time (and her thoughts) she had gone back to helping sort the mail in the mailroom. If anything, it was an easy way to get her own mail quicker. Plus, focusing on the names on the letters was easier than focusing on Adam.
"Did I hear what?" she asked tersely, trying to keep her annoyance at bay as she grabbed a new sheet of paper and began to rewrite what she had written.
"General Eisenhower is on base to inspect the division!" he said as he strode to the other side of the office and grabbed both George and Penkala. "Come on you two, we're supposed to get cleaned up!" And before anyone could say anything else, they were out the door, leaving Meg alone.
As she spent the next hour sorting mail solo, many men on the base rushed through, grabbing things quickly, all talking loudly of the General's visit. Despite her depressed attitude of late, Meg couldn't help but smile softly at the excitement pulsing through the men. She had to admit, this was definitely something exciting and she was sorry she wouldn't be included.
Shaking her head, she turned back to her mail. This moment belonged to the Yanks, who was she to try and ride on their coat tails?
"And in here is the mailroom," Sink's voice boomed through the hall and Meg had just enough time to register what was happening before the group of men walked in.
Sink was in the front, followed closely by a man Meg recognized as Eisenhower. Behind him were a group of men she assumed had traveled with him, and behind them were a few of the Intelligence officers. Meg spotted Lew and quickly looked away. She didn't need to be blushing in front of Eisenhower.
Realizing that the mailroom wasn't empty, the group turned to look at Meg and suddenly she felt put on the spot. Was she technically allowed to be in here? Or was there maybe some rule against an outsider sorting the mail? Before she could ponder it more, Colonel Sink cleared his throat and took a step forward.
"Sir this is Megan Myeroff, an agent with the IIA statione-" Colonel Sink started, but he was quickly cut off.
"Of course!" the General's voice boomed as he strode forward and held his hand out. "Miss Myeroff it's such a pleasure," he said and Meg's eyebrows rose in shock.
What?
"Uh, thank you sir," she said as she shook his hand in a slightly daze. "The feeling is mutual."
Glancing at Lew and Colonel Sink, she could tell she wasn't the only one who was surprised.
"I've heard all about the role you played in preparations for D-Day. Montgomery was very impressed with your work ethic."
"Thank you sir," Meg said, blushing now. What an ego boost!
"Well Miss Myeroff, it is a great pleasure to meet you. I know most of our country may never get to thank you for the service you've done, so I just want to thank you for them."
Not really knowing what to say, Meg just smiled. Glancing sideways, she caught sight of Lew. He was staring at her and when they made eye contact, he motioned his hand up to his forehead. Catching his drift, Meg snapped her legs together and sharply raised her hand up to her forehead in the British salute. Nodding to her, Eisenhower turned to Sink and the group turned and headed out.
"How did that feel?" Lew whispered as he came up beside her. When the rest of the group had disappeared out the door, he leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before running after them.
Alone, Meg sighed as she slumped back against the mail counter.
Eisenhower was one of Adam's idols. He would have given anything to be where she was right now. And right now, she'd give anything to have him there too.
As August continued, the men began to get more and more anxious. Rumors of jumps were flying all over the place, keeping everybody on their toes. Silently, Meg hoped the men were stuck in Aldbourne a little while longer. She wasn't ready to send them off to war again, especially with the loss of Adam still so fresh. She was enjoying her time with them too much and the idea of some of them not coming back was gut wrenching. She had already lost Christian and Adam, she didn't need to lose more.
It had been almost a month since Adam had left Aldbourne. As time went by, Meg's distress over him slowly simmered. She hadn't forgotten him, and she thought of him almost every hour, but the wounds weren't as fresh. She was almost able to get back to the way things were.
Almost.
A week after Eisenhower's visit, the men of Easy began preparation for a jump into Chartres. When Meg heard the news, she dropped the mail she was holding and ran from the mailroom, off down the hall and into the office where Lew was having an intelligence briefing.
Blushing as all heads turned to her, Meg quickly backed out.
"Sorry," she apologized softly, too embarrassed to say anything else. She had known he was in there but she didn't realize it was an official meeting. She thought it was just the intelligence officers coming and going at their leisure.
As she was leaning back against the wall, head tipped back and hand covering her face in embarrassment, she felt two hands come to rest on each of her arms. Jumping slightly, she pulled her hand away from her face and looked up into the eyes of Lewis Nixon.
"I'm sorry," she began to apologize, but he cut her off and practically dragged her into an empty office, shutting the door behind them.
"You heard," he stated instead of asked. Meg nodded before slowly circling her arms around his waist and burying her head in his chest. "We knew this was coming," he said with a light chuckle, obviously trying to sooth her into thinking it was nothing.
"It doesn't make it any easier," she replied before pulling back and placing a quick, soft kiss on his lips. "Can't you fake an injury so you can stay behind?"
"I can't fake an injury," Lew said in a mocking tone.
"Well we can give you a real one then. I'm an excellent shot with my pistol and I know I could do just enough damage to keep you behind but not wound you forever." She was mostly joking, but that small part of her wished he'd agree to her ridiculous idea.
"Meg," Lew said with a laugh, pulling her close again. "I have to get back to my meeting, and you have to get back to your mail. We'll talk about this later when neither of us have other obligations, alright?" he asked and she nodded slowly before they both slipped out of the room and went their separate ways.
That night she heard the familiar knock on her door. Smiling, she waited as Lew let himself in.
"Are you busy?" he asked but she shook her head.
"Just writing my daily letter to base," she said and he nodded, walking over to collapse backwards on her bed. Meg turned in her chair so she could face him, smirking slightly. "Can I help you?"
"I'm exhausted," was all he said before sitting back up and pulling his flask out of his pocket. Meg wrinkled her nose before sighing.
That was one thing she had noticed since their return to Aldbourne; Lew was drinking more. A lot more. His drinking habits had bothered Meg before, but now there was no mistaking them for what they were. It was bad news and it couldn't be the elephant in the room anymore.
She had previously tried to talk to him about it, but every time it had almost come up, she had chickened out. Now she knew that wouldn't be an option. It was getting worse and it needed to be mentioned. She wasn't going to be responsible for another death if she could help it.
"Lew," Meg began, standing up and walking over to him. "Don't you think it's a little late to be drinking?" she chose to say instead of jumping right in. She thought it would be an easy way into the conversation but apparently Lew had other ideas.
"Come off it Meg," he grumbled. "Not you too."
"Me too?" she asked, crossing her arms as she waited for him to explain.
"Dick's been riding my ass all week. Harry too, and now you've joined the team as well," he said bitterly, raising the flask to her in a mock cheer.
"Darling," Meg chose to call him, hoping the endearment would calm him down. "We're all just concerned about you. There's so much going on and-"
"Just stop!" Lew shouted, jumping up to tower above her. The sudden loudness of his voice caused her to jump and her mouth clamped shut. He had never yelled at her like that before. "I don't need this from you. You, of all people, should understand."
"I do," she practically whimpered, reaching out to grab his hands desperately. So much for having control of the situation. "I really do, and that's why I'm telling you there are other ways to deal-"
Lew cut her off again, ripping his hands from her grip.
"You know what your problem is?" he asked and she turned to look at him, wondering what he was going to say. This wasn't going at all like she'd planned in her head.
He's drunk, the voice in her head reminded her. More drunk than he's been in a while. Don't take anything he says personally.
"Your problem is that you're a hypocrite."
His words hit her full force and despite what she had told herself, she still felt like he'd stabbed her in the gut.
"What?" she whispered as it took all her effort not to drop down onto the bed.
"You sit here in this room and you wallow in self-pity over your life," he explained loudly, gesturing all over the place with his arms. "But you don't do anything about it. You just continue to wallow and wallow and make everyone feel sorry for you. 'Poor Meg Myeroff has had such bad things happen in her life, let's all feel bad for her.'"
"Stop it," she said, wishing it had come out sounding forceful. Instead it sounded pathetic, especially when mixed with the tears stinging her eyes. Why was he being so hurtful?
"What? So you can dish it out but you can't take it?" Lew practically sneered as he took a step back toward the door. "Don't you dare sit here and criticize me for dealing with things my way, when your way isn't any better."
And before she could respond, he was out the door, slamming it roughly behind him.
Meg stood there for exactly one minute, counting the seconds in her head. The tears pooled in her eyes, dripping down her cheeks, but she refused to break down. Lew's words had stung, but she wasn't going to let him get to her.
When she hit the number 60, she reached up and wiped the tears from her eyes before turning and grabbing her towel and some fresh clothes. It was late enough that the rest of the lads would most likely be asleep. She didn't have to worry about running into anyone.
She desperately needed a shower.
It turned out Meg's worries about losing the men to a jump were unwarranted. Just as the men were getting ready for the jump, word got out that Patton's Third Army had overtaken the drop zone. When everyone realized the drop was cancelled, the men returned to Aldbourne and celebrated as Meg had never seen them celebrate before.
However, there were two people who didn't join in on the celebrations.
With the combination of Adam's disappearance and Lew's harsh words, Meg was having a horrible time. Instead of joining them all at the pub, she chose to stay in her room, working quickly to keep her mind off things.
At the sound of a knock on her door, Meg's heart jumped. She didn't know whether her nerves were good or bad, but the idea of Lew walking through that door right now was terrifying.
Instead, George peeked his head around, causing her to sigh.
"Hey sweet cheeks," he said as he walked in and stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, looking around before taking in the sight of her. "How come you're not down at the pub with us?"
"I have a lot of work that needs to be done," she said in a monotone voice, signing a piece of paper with a flourish.
"You and I both know that's bullshit," he said in a no-nonsense tone.
"I just don't feel like celebrating," she told him, slumping back in her chair. "Adam's still missing, why can't anyone understand that?"
"Don't be like that," George said as he walked over and leaned against the table beside her. "We do understand that, more than I think you realize. But at the same time, you've got a group of men out there wanting to see you. Adam may be gone, but there are at least 20 guys at the pub who think of you as a sister."
His small lecture had the desired effect. Sighing, Meg looked up at him.
"I am being a ninny aren't I?" she asked and he shrugged.
"I have no idea what that means, but I'm just gonna go with yes."
"George Luz, what would I do without you?" she asked, standing up to kiss him on the cheek.
"I dunno," he said as he blushed slightly, "probably not have as much fun as you do."
Meg was just about to walk over to her dresser when she had a sudden flash of Lew standing in that same spot, telling her she was a hypocrite.
"I can't," she said as her shoulders slumped. George frowned.
"What? Why not?"
She debated whether to tell him her reason or not. After all, she knew she was going to forgive Lew; would involving someone else be wise? She didn't want any of the Easy men to dislike Lew on her account.
Finally deciding it was George and she had to tell him the truth, she sighed.
"Lew and I...we had an argument. I can't face him after what he said."
"What did he say?" George asked and Meg was startled to hear a slight tone of anger in his voice. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to tell him.
"It doesn't matter. He was drunk and I know he didn't mean it, but still..."
"Meg," George warned softly. "You can't stay holed up in here. Come to the pub. I didn't even see Lieutenant Nixon down there."
At this revelation, Meg breathed a sigh of relief. Besides, wouldn't going out and celebrating with the lads be a point against Lew's accusation? This wasn't her wallowing in self-pity; this was her going out and being happy despite the negatives in her life. Adam's disappearance and Lew's harsh words weren't going to drag her down.
"Adam wouldn't want me to be sad," she repeated Lew's words and George looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "It's just...well, when a friend of mine died last year, I took it hard, and I remember Adam telling me that being sad wasn't going to make it better. My tears weren't going to bring Christian back, so it was better if I stayed happy and remembered all the good things. Adam would want me to do the same about him," she explained and George smirked, clapping her on the back.
"That's the spirit. I'll wait for you outside and walk you down there," he said before disappearing back out the front door.
When he was gone, she quickly rushed through her dresser, pulling out a dress and practically throwing it over her head. As she tied the ribbons on the side, she looked around for her hair brush, stroking it through her brunette tresses twice before setting it down and quickly applying some makeup. She didn't want to look like death.
"That's the fastest I think a dame's ever gotten ready before," George informed her as they walked down the path.
"Well I'm not like most dames," she told him, clutching his arm tightly as they walked. Even though it was still warm out, the idea of running into Lew sent a chill down her spine.
She knew they'd have to face each other sometime. This was their first fight, and it was hardly enough to break them up. But his words had stung; they still did. She wasn't going to let him off easy. She deserved an apology, but she was going to let him initiate it first.
"Hey!" Bill cried as they walked into the pub. As usual, it was completely filled and they had to squeeze their way through. Meg was surprised to see the boys weren't at their usual table. Instead, they were stationed in the other corner by the bar, all standing as they talked, smoke, and drank.
"Glad to see you out here," Joe Toye said before leaning over the bar and getting the bartenders attention. "Our girl here wants a whiskey," he said.
"Thanks Joe," Meg replied before turning to look out at the room.
There were so many men she didn't recognize, it was endearing. Before, she had known almost everyone and wasn't afraid to be her usual self. Now she felt shy, and when that was added to her already quieter self because of all that had happened recently, she knew she was going to be a wet blanket.
"Here," Joe said, handing her a glass. Just as she was lifting it to her lips, a hand grabbed her arm, pulling her around to look up into the eyes of Dick.
"You need to come now," he said, his tone deadly serious.
"Captain Winters, she just got here," Muck started to explain but Dick ignored him, giving Meg a hard look. She knew Dick was a serious man, but this look was terrifyingly serious. Had something happened? Was it Adam? Lew?
"Alright," she said, giving in and handing Joe back her glass before following Dick back out the door. "What is it?" she asked as they walked, but Dick chose to stay quiet, leading her back through the barracks.
She could tell where he was taking her; it was a path she'd taken many times before. What was going on?
Slamming on her breaks, she pulled free from his grasp and stood still.
"What in heaven's name is going on?" she asked, hoping he sensed her mood and wouldn't beat around the bush.
"It's Nix," he said with a sigh, looking at her as he ran his hand through his auburn hair.
"What about him?" Meg asked, panic evident in her voice. Despite their fight, she did still loved the man.
"I don't know what happened between you two but he won't shut up about it. He's been drinking since yesterday and he won't stop. He missed drills this morning and he's lucky there wasn't a drop last night because he sure as heck wouldn't have made it."
Rolling her eyes, Meg motioned for him to continue walking.
"I confronted him about his drinking and we got in an argument," she explained as they walked. "He said some hurtful things and then left. I know he was drunk but-"
"But that doesn't excuse what he did," Dick finished for her, coming to a stop outside the door. "Nix has problems, he'll be the first to admit it. His life hasn't exactly been apple pie, I'm sure you know."
"Yes, I do," Meg said, wishing he'd stop the conversation so she could go inside. She had to see Lew.
"Sometimes we have to pick our battles. I've learned with Nix that the battle against the drinking isn't the best one to be having."
"But it'll kill him," Meg whispered harshly, aware that Lew could possibly hear them from inside. "If he keeps drinking like that, it will. You and I both know that."
"I'm not saying it won't," Dick said and Meg wondered how his voice could sound so calm. Currently, she wanted to strangle him. "But Harry and I are keeping an eye on him. For now, he's fine, so it's best to just lay low on it. I'm not saying it excuses him from the things he said to you, but I think right now it would be best if you just talked to him."
Sighing, mostly because she knew he was right, Meg walked past him and through the door, coming to a stop when she spotted Lew.
He was sitting on his bed, wearing nothing but his white undershirt and his shorts. His hair was a mess and it looked like it hadn't been washed in days. In his hand was a full bottle of Vat 69, in plain sight to anyone who cared to walk through the door.
"Oh Lewis Nixon," Meg whispered and he turned to look at her, his eyebrows rising slightly.
"Meg? " he said in a slightly loud voice. "I'm sorry," he slurred as she walked over to his side and took the bottle from his hands, placing it on the floor before brushing his hair back from his face.
He really looked awful.
"I'm sorry," he repeated again but she shushed him, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He tasted of the whiskey and she tried not to wrinkle her nose when she noticed he smelled of it too.
"Shhh, it's alright," she said as she stood up and walked over to the table, quickly spotting his water canteen. After a quick sniff, she knew it was, in fact, water. Grabbing another shirt out of his drawer, she soaked it in the water and walked back over, wiping down his face and neck.
"Meg," he said as she continued to scrub him down. "Why are you doing this?"
His words were still very slurred, but she could understand exactly what he was saying.
"Because someone has to," she said, wincing when she realized how harsh her words sounded. "Lew, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he said with a drunken shake of his head. "I'm the one who fucked up."
"We both did," she clarified with a gentle smile. "I shouldn't have called you out like that."
"But you were right."
"It doesn't matter," she said with a shrug, standing back up and going over to his dresser to pull out fresh clothes. "Come on, let's go get you washed up."
It took them twice as long to get to the showers, mostly because Meg had to help support Lew most of the way. It reminded her of the night he carried her home from the bar. She just hoped he didn't expect a ride on her back.
Once inside, she smiled at the fact that the showers were empty. Every man was down at the pub; they wouldn't be disturbed.
"Alright, clothes off and in you go," Meg said as she turned on the shower, hoping the water would warm up quickly. While it did, she stood as far back as possible, not wanting to mess up her shoes by getting them wet. As she tested it with her hand, Lew stripped out of his clothes and walked straight into the stream, sighing at the contact with his skin.
Feeling slightly embarrassed at seeing him naked in the shower, Meg turned and began picking up his clothes off the floor.
"Let me know when you're done," she said, her back to him as she folded his dirty clothes nicely.
"Meg," he called suddenly, his voice having a slight tone of panic. Worried something was wrong, she spun on her foot and walked over to the shower to make sure everything was alright.
As soon as she was close enough, Lew's arm shot out and he grabbed her arm, dragging her under the showerhead.
"Lew!" she cried, glancing down at her now soaked dress. So much for keeping her shoes dry.
"What?" he asked, the mischievous glint back in his eye. Oh how she had missed that!
"Well, you certainly seem more sober than you were before," she said and he shrugged.
"Soberish," he told her before bending his head down to kiss her. Not an inch of her was dry (and she knew her hair was ruined) but as his lips touched hers, she didn't care. Wrapping her arms up around his shoulders, she pulled him down closer to her.
The kiss lasted for a few minutes before he pulled away, locking eyes with her despite the water dripping down their faces.
"I'm sorry," he said as he kissed her again. "I shouldn't have said any of those things. It was completely out of line."
"Lew," she said, pushing him away slightly. "Let's not talk about that now. I just want you to love me."
She didn't need to tell him twice.
So...where have all my lovely reviewers gone? :( I feel like I'm losing one each week now... sad day. Just fyi, even one-worded reviews make me happy!
First, I want to give a shout out to SparkELee. She's been under the weather lately so here's to her speedy recovery. Miss you girl! Can't wait to hear what you thought of the last two chapters!
LovingBOBThePacific - I'm glad you loved it. Yay Toye hahaha. Sometimes he's hard to fit into the story, so I'm glad you like the scenes I have him in. And dude, I'm totally jealous of Meg too. I mean, that's half the reason why I wrote her relationship with the boys the way I did; I wish I was in the same boat hahaha. And I'm so glad you like Adam! Glad, and also sad because I'm worried about what you think of this chapter now...haha. And Happy December to you too! It's my favorite time of year so I'm excited when I hear how much other people enjoy it too haha. Thanks for your review!
G. - Yay you reviewed! I'm glad you loved it, I'll be honest some of these chapters make me worry about what you'll think haha. It's nice to hear you don't hate them hahaha. And yes, the men are adorable. You should spend tomorrow Googling them and picturing them all trying to take care of Meg while she cries. I hope you liked this chapter, since it's totally, completely (well maybe 98%) new. And sorry...but I don't think Swinson's ever going to make an appearance, other than in talking about him. Send me a pic so I know what you think he should look like! I want to picture him hot too! Thanks for your review :) Review this chapter too!