Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had an excellent New Year's Eve and Day, and that you're all as excited about what 2013 has to offer as I am! Here's to a positive outlook! (Also here's to going to the gym three times a week, eating healthier, and dropping 10 more pounds hahaha)

Also shameless plug, I actually posted a 100% original story on FictionPress! Well, the first chapter anyway. If any of you would like to read it/leave me a wonderful review, it would be much appreciated! My name over there is the same as here, Scarlet MacDuff. The story's called 365 Days in Holidays. Thanks!

Chapter Twenty-Five

It had been a long time since Meg was able to sleep through the night. Deep sleeps were something she wasn't used to, and she often found herself waking up at various times throughout the night. She could easily go back to bed, but she always lay there for a few minutes, taking everything in before closing her eyes again.

Tonight she woke up at 1:39 a.m. and stayed awake for longer than usual. The reason? Lewis Nixon was lying with her.

When she first woke up, she had startled herself into thinking it had all been a dream. Lew hadn't surprised her as she was packing, she hadn't told him all about Christian, and they hadn't fallen asleep together.

Rotating her body just slightly, she had heaved a sigh of relief when she realized he was still next to her. His arms were still around her and once again she felt safe and secure. She always felt safe and secure when Lew was there.

Rolling over to face him, she reached her hand up and lightly traced the contours of his face. She didn't want to wake him, so she was glad he seemed to be enjoying the deep sleep she wasn't used to. She simply wanted to enjoy him like this; asleep and peaceful.

She almost giggled at the thought. It sounded like she didn't enjoy him when he was awake! She stored that bit away in the hopes of teasing him about it in the morning. He always seemed to enjoy jokes and she rarely was able to make one on his caliber.

No, what she had really meant was enjoying him in this peaceful state. His face was more relaxed than she had ever seen, and he looked years younger than he had that evening. The wrinkles on his forehead were gone and his mouth didn't have that swoop of hardness to it.

She wondered if this was what he would look like every day if there was no war. Was this the Lewis Nixon that Katharine knew?

At the memory of Katharine, she realized that Lew had never told her about his wife the night before. Not that she would have been in a state to listen, so she was glad that the topic hadn't been brought up again. Still, it was something they would need to discuss when they both woke. She only hoped that Lew was still in a good mood in the morning, because this was not the kind of conversation she wanted to have if he was in one of his moods.

Sighing again, she rolled back over so her back was to his chest. Nestling down into his arms, she smiled when he tightened them around her. Even in his sleep, he wanted to keep her close.

"Meg," a strong voice whispered in the morning and Meg slowly opened her eyes, rolling over to look up at a very handsome face. Smiling, she reached her arms up to run her fingers through Lew's hair. She wanted to start every morning like this.

"Good morning," she said before realizing he had a concerned look on his face. As the memory of what she had told him last night came back to her, her smile disappeared too. "What is it?" she asked, wondering what could have put him in such a bad mood. Sure he had been supportive of everything last night, but maybe he was now having second thoughts. Maybe he really agreed with her; Christian's death was all her fault. And now he didn't want to be with her, because what man would want to be with a woman who had killed her closest friend?

Before she could worry about all this too much, Lew leaned back and sat down on the bed before continuing.

"I just got a message from Dick. They need me back as soon as possible so I'm taking a plane out this morning. Something about the SS Panzer Division breaking through in the Ardennes."

"What?" Meg asked, sitting up straight and pulling the sheet up tight around her. "But in all the correspondence I've gotten, none even hinted at that." Her mind erased everything she had been worrying about as this information filled her brain. She was back in agent mode; Megan Myeroff, IIA correspondent. How had the SS Panzer Division broken through without her even seeing a hint of possibility? She had looked over dozens of letters in the last week alone, and they had agents stationed practically everywhere. How come something this big not has been hinted at before?

As she sat there, a confused look wrinkling her nose and forehead, Lew leaned in and tilted her head, placing a kiss on her lips. Still in a daze as she ran over every piece of information she had received recently, it took her a moment to respond to the kiss, but by then he was already standing up from the bed again.

"I have to go now. I wish we'd had our full time together, but I promise I'll see you soon." He sobered up, sitting in front of her. "Be careful alright? And write whenever you can. I don't know if you can write to me while you're there, or if you can write to your brother, but if you can, please do. I'll worry about you until I see you again."

"The same goes for you. I'm afraid I'll find it hard to concentrate on my job while I'm worrying about you."

Lew grinned and leaned in to kiss her again before getting up and striding quickly out of the room.

All alone, Meg sighed and looked around, deciding she had best finish packing. If she wanted to keep to her original schedule, she'd have to leave Aldbourne in the next two hours.

As she threw her last few things in her bag, a realization hit her and she couldn't help scowling.

"That bastard," she whispered, half joking. Lew hadn't held up his part of the bargain! He hadn't told her about Katharine!

For a brief second Meg wondered if the SS Panzer Division story was just a diversion of his to get out of telling her his story. It certainly seemed like something he was capable of.

No, Meg decided with a shake of her head. Lew knew she was a good agent. He knew that she could easily find out if he was telling the truth or not; especially about something like this.

Still, it didn't hurt to double check, which was why she found herself hurrying to HQ with her packed bags. She only had a few minutes until she had to be on her way, but she needed to be sure of this or it would bug her for her entire mission.

What if he was lying? What if this was his way of coping out in the hopes that she would forget she'd asked? Was he really that much of a chicken? Or did that mean that he was considering going back with Katharine after this was all over? Did his escape mean that he wasn't willing to stay with her?

"Excuse me," she said as she approached the orderly at the main desk.

"What can I do for you Miss Myeroff?" he asked. At least he remembered her name.

"I was recently informed that the SS Panzer Division broke through in the Ardennes last night. Is there a way you could verify that for me?"

"Can't you call your contacts with the IIA?" the man asked in a slightly snarky tone. It caught Meg off guard and took her a moment for it to sink in.

"Watch your tone!" another man practically shouted as he came into the room. The orderly quickly stood at attention and Meg sighed at the obvious change in his attitude. "Miss Myeroff what were you asking?"

Meg repeated her question for this man, who was obviously a Major by the pin on his lapel.

"I can confirm that ma'am. It happened sometime last night. The information is just coming in now if you would like to look it over."

His statement caused a wave to wash through her. Lew hadn't been lying! All of her fears and worries were completely pointless. There was still hope yet, and that was certainly what she was going to pen in her first letter to him. She was going to let him know that she hadn't forgotten about his promise to tell her about Katharine.

After the long trip by jeep to Paris, Meg was happy to find Lynette waiting for her.

"I almost thought you weren't going to make it," the French woman said as Meg walked in, dropping her things by the doorway. Immediately a young boy grabbed it and dashed upstairs to the room. The women ignored him, instead continuing their conversation.

"I almost didn't. I had a surprise visitor last night and was this close to phoning and telling you I'd be heading straight to Berlin," Meg said before seeing Lynette's face and almost slapping herself. While Lynette was kind to her, she was also very deep in this business. She would take the idea of Lew almost as well as Marco, especially if it interfered with the work they were doing.

"What visitor? And what happened to change your mind?"

"He received orders to report back immediately so there was no reason for me to stay," Meg explained, skipping over the first question as the two of them climbed the stairs. Why did she have to open her big mouth?

"And again I'll ask, what visitor?" Lynette asked, this time slightly more forcefully.

"No one to worry about. Just a friend. Can you draw me up a lavender bath? You know it's the General's favorite."

And before Lynette could speak another word, Meg was up the stairs, following the path the boy with her things took to Lynette's room.

Picking her suitcase up off the floor, she set it on Lynette's bed. After pausing to make sure Lynette hadn't followed her, she opened it and pulled out a nice clean dress to change into. It was velvet, given to her by the General on one of her first visits with him. She hated wearing the dresses he bought her but he thought she was a poor whore; where would she be able to afford dresses that weren't bought by him?

Just as she was digging through her suitcase for a pair of heels, her hand bumped an envelope, causing her to frown. Lifting the white rectangle up, her frown deepened when she realized her name was written on the front in familiar, masculine handwriting.

"The bath's just about ready," Lynette said, walking into the room. Meg quickly dropped her hand, hiding the envelope behind her back as she turned to the woman.

"Thank you. I've had a long trip so I'm going to relax in the water for a while. I'll call for you when I'm ready to have my hair done."

Once she was settled into the tub, Meg reached for the envelope, ripping it open and pulling two sheets of paper out. There was a brief flash as she wondered whether she wanted to read the letter. What was the male version of a Dear John letter?

Shaking her head, she sighed. If she viewed the glass as half empty, she'd never get far in life. It was just as likely that this letter was simply filled with mushy romance and words of endearment.

Knowing that she wouldn't know until she read it, she glanced down and read.

Dearest Meg,

As you know by now, I received orders this morning that required me to leave you earlier than anticipated. When I woke up this morning you were sleeping so soundly I couldn't bear waking you. I had decided to go for a walk in the hopes of finding us some breakfast when an orderly stumbled on me and gave me the note from Dick, telling me my presence was required (the downside of being a great intelligence officer of course). Since he found me sooner than he expected, I had some time to kill so instead of waking you from your peaceful sleep, I decided to write this for you.

Last night may have been hard for you, telling me that story, but honestly Meg, it made me love you all the more. You've always been so strong that it's been slightly intimidating. What kind of man would I be anyway, if my girl was stronger than I was? But all jokes aside, seeing you so vulnerable last night made me want to take care of you more, love you more, and never let anything happen to you.

I do love you Meg. It may be hard for you to realize that, or accept that, with Katharine still in my life, but I do. I wish things had been different. I wish I hadn't foolishly married Katharine all those years ago. If I'd known you would be coming along I know I wouldn't have, but I guess that's a great part of life: we can't go back and change the past.

Last night you asked me about Katharine. After your story I didn't have the heart to tell you mine when all I wanted to do was hold you and let you know that I love you.

Katharine and I met at Yale. I was attending classes and she was the daughter of a professor there. We ran into each other a lot and I knew she was taken by me (how could she not, with my charm?) Coming from New Jersey, I hadn't met a lot of girls who hadn't already known me growing up. And while Yale didn't lack in the department of women, none of them were as infatuated with me as Katharine. Because of this I found myself drawn into her. I thought I was in love (and maybe I was, I don't know), but I know that what I felt for her then is nothing compared for what I feel for you now.

I'm not trying to paint Katharine in a bad light, or make it seem as though I was tricked into a marriage with her. Who knows, maybe if I hadn't enlisted so soon after the marriage things may have been different. All I know is that right now I'm regretting the mistake of marrying her so soon into my life. I do love you, and if things were different I know I would be asking you to marry me, not her.

I worry about you Meg. An hour doesn't go by that you're not on my mind at least once or twice. On numerous occasions Dick's told me to focus more or I'm going to get myself killed. But thinking about you out there, doing what you're getting ready to do right now, makes me worried. And I'm torn. Torn because on the one side, I want to tell you to quit the IIA and stop being stupid, but on the other side I know it's what you love to do; it's what you were born to do, and how can I take that away from you? Not that I have any right to of course, which you so kindly reminded me during our argument last night.

Please just be careful, that's all I ask. Try not to let them hurt you too much, and try not to put yourself in unnecessary trouble. For now I'll say see you later, because I know sometime soon we'll be together again, and I look forward to it.

With all my love,

Lew

"What's that?" Lynette's voice came from the doorway and Meg jumped, dropping the very bottom of the letter in the water.

"Oh no, no, no!" she cried, lifting it up and tossing it onto the carpet on reflex. Lynette walked over and picked it up, skimming the pages quickly.

"Well it's just as well," she said as she walked over to the fireplace. "If you were caught with this letter in Germany you would be shot."

"Please don't!" Meg cried just as Lynette was leaning over to toss the letter in the flames. "Not yet. You can do that when I leave, but please let me keep it to read a few more times."

Lynette looked at her harshly before her face softened. Meg knew she looked a mess. Panic was written all over her features; panic at not getting to read that letter just once more. She was pathetic, and at that moment she knew that Lynette knew it as well.

"Alright," she agreed, setting the letter down on the floor to dry as Meg heaved a sigh of relief. Her letter was safe. "But for now let's do your hair and then you can go join the girls for dinner."

Meg rarely got to spend any time with Lynette's girls, but she supposed this time it only made sense. It was dinnertime after all, and they all knew she was there. If she didn't show up they'd think Lynette was playing favorites.

Lynette helped her dry off before Meg slipped into a comfortable dress and followed her down to the dining room. There she found a handful of girls lounging around in various states of dress.

She always thought the stories she had heard of whore houses were exaggerated in poor attempts to keep "moral" children away. However whenever she spent time with the girls at Lynette's, she was reminded that most of the stories were spot on.

Some of the girls were simply in their undergarments, a situation she couldn't begin to imagine. How could one eat a meal while wearing such minimal clothing? Most, however were dressed in nightgowns or dressing gowns. All of them wore plenty of makeup and it was another reminder to Meg; a reminder that this was their job. This was how they provided for themselves and they had to look their best to do it right.

Suddenly she felt self-conscious. Compared to them, she felt like it was obvious that she wasn't one of them. She was so very different, there was no way they couldn't see it.

But none of them ever mentioned it. Instead they welcomed her into their home, some more politely than others.

"Vivian!" a voice cried as she appeared in the doorway. Turning to her left, she smiled when she spotted a blonde woman in a nightgown coming her way.

If Meg could call anyone in this house a friend, it would be Madeline. The girl was too sweet and caring to dislike. It made Meg wonder how Madeline got in the business in the first place; but if there was one rule Meg had learned, it was to never ask that.

"Hello Madeline," Meg responded in French, glad that she was able to slip into it so easily. She was always afraid she would slip up, so at least spending dinner with the girls would help her get back in the swing.

"Maybe you can give us some input," Madeline said as she pulled Meg into a nearby chair and sat down.

"Input on what?" Meg asked with a chuckle as a full plate of food was set in front of her. She knew the other girls had to pay for their meals but Lynette never charged her. Yet another kindness the woman was doing for the Allies.

"Madeline seems to think that just because a man cheats on one woman doesn't mean he'll cheat on another," said a girl named Adelaide.

"And I say once a cheater, always a cheater," announced a girl named Clarisse. Meg had never cared much for her; the girl seemed to think she was a gift to the world. She treated the other girls like dirt and often got in trouble for complaining when men didn't treat her like a princess. "If a man cheats on his wife, he's just as likely to cheat on the next girl."

"What do you think Vivian?" Madeline asked and Meg's head swirled. What could she add to this conversation? She was in the middle of an affair, probably in the worst position possible since she was the other woman. If Lew could so easily cheat on Katharine, did that mean he could just as easily cheat on her?

Perhaps he was doing so now. He and the rest of Easy were traveling all across Europe. Who's to say he wasn't spending every night with a different girl, all the while keeping Meg and Katharine on the backburners.

She threw that thought aside almost as quickly as it appeared. If she started doubting things then her whole world would fall out of place. She didn't need this type of distraction right before a mission. Besides, she trusted Lew and knew he wasn't unfaithful to her.

"I think it depends on the person," Meg chose to answer. "Some men, sure. They have no morals and relationships are just a game to them. But other men wouldn't. If a man meets his one true love after marrying someone else, does that mean he'll cheat on his true love when they're together? I don't think so. I think you need to look more into the person's personality and how they treat others. Then you'll know if he's likely to always be a cheater."

"You sound like you speak from experience," Clarisse said slyly but Meg wouldn't rise to her bait. Instead she shook her head, turning her focus to her food.

"No, I just know plenty of men on each side."

The conversation quieted after that and Madeline kept Meg's ear filled as she chatted all through the rest of the meal. Because of this, Meg barely got to eat; all of her focus was on not slipping up. When someone is sitting on your left tossing questions about your life at you and you have to lie, it's hard to focus on anything else.

It was tiring.

As Meg lay down that night, all pampered and ready for the General's caravan arrival, she pulled Lew's letter toward her, reading it over and over until she fell asleep. By the time her eyes closed, the ink was smeared and smudges of it had sunk into the pads of her fingers. She didn't care though; it made it feel like he was closer to her. She knew that in the morning she would have to leave the letter behind so Lynette could burn it. The idea crushed her heart, but she knew there was no way she could take it with her. The letter revealed too much, and if the General found it in her things, Lynette was right; she would be killed.

The brief idea that perhaps Lynette could simply mail it to Base filled Meg's brain but she quickly shot it down. She didn't want anyone else to ever read that letter, and the only way to ensure that was to have it destroyed.

Around eleven that night Meg woke, those thoughts running through her mind. Reading the letter one more time, she sighed and stood, bringing the letter over to the smoldering fire in the fireplace. After one final skim of the pages, she tossed it into the embers before she changed her mind. Then, before she could regret what she did, she turned and ran her bare feet across the wooden floor, hopping back into the bed and pulling the covers up over her head.

She didn't want anyone to hear her muffled cries.

"Vivian!" a voice spoke harshly and Meg woke, groggily looking over at the clock while rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

2:36 a.m. She would never get used to these early morning departures.

"Vivian the General's driver is here to get you," Lynette said, using Meg's French name in case the driver was listening. "Quick we must get you ready."

The two women slid Meg into a long turquois dress, buttoning up the back and draping a thin silver necklace around her neck. As Meg slid on her heels, Lynette did her makeup, keeping it simple and elegant.

"Where's that letter?" Lynette asked casually as she picked up a hairbrush and began running it through Meg's hair.

"It's taken care of," Meg said, her stomach falling when she was reminded of the letter crumbling as it burned. Glancing up, she saw Lynette's firm look. "I swear it. I threw it in the fire." And seeing her depressed attitude, Lynette didn't push the issue.

Meg's hair didn't take long, just a quick brush through, before both women were hurrying down the stairs, Meg's suitcase dragging behind them.

"Good evening miss," the driver said in French, taking Meg's bag from Lynette. "Sorry to come at such a time, but General's orders," he explained and Meg shrugged as he helped her into the car.

"It's alright," she replied back, also in French. "I completely understand. Besides, I could barely sleep anyway, I was so excited to go to Berlin and see him!"

The driver chuckled as they waved goodbye to Lynette and drove off into the night, and once again she was no longer Megan Myeroff, IIA agent.

She was Vivian, an unimportant French whore.

I got a whole bunch of reviews last chapter! How exciting! Haha.

G. - Oh heyyyy. I know blouse still makes you giggle, and I can't for the life of me remember when I say it in this chapter. Obvi I need to go back and reread it haha. #2, shut up lol although I probs would have thought the same thing. #3 there's Katharine! I'm pretty sure you've read this chapter before (I can't remember if you read the edited stuff or not but I think not...) but now Katharine's story is out there voila! Side note I really like your image of Katharine. It fits well I think haha. Also, why is the second part of your review considered "not-so-fun?" I thought they were going to be harsh reviews, like "you spelled this wrong" or "this doesn't make sense!" hahahaha. And I had COMPLETELY forgotten about BOB Wednesdays. See? You HAVE seen the show before! :-P

caught-offsides - Haha yeah I know. I have tossed around a couple ideas involving George, but so far none of them have stuck as much as this one. Who knows if I'll actually get around to one of George that gets finished haha. I'll sure try though! And I'm glad you loved the chapter! Thanks for reviewing!

InceColdInAlex - Thanks for your review! I'm glad you liked Meg's backstory. I know this has kinda been what everyone's waited for so it's nice to hear so many people liked it! I'm tossing around the idea of working in some more of her backstory (mostly because you asked haha) but we'll see. There is definitely some more of it in there, but you'll just have to wait and see what that is :) As for Meg's ignorance about Holland, there was a little taste of that in this chapter too, with Meg beating herself up over not knowing about the Ardennes. I think those moments show her weaknesses, because they show she's not all knowing. Sure she's a damn good agent, but she misses things, just like everyone else.

ActiveIngredient - Aw thanks for saying I rock! And thanks for the review! You rock too! And yeah, Nix never told her about Kat in the last chapter, but I think at the moment, it would have been too overwhelming for Meg. That's why I had it planned out this way. Obviously, ideally he would have told her in the morning when they had been lying there are sweetly, but he was needed back on the line haha. Stupid Germans making Nix cut his pass short! And yeah, when I read the book I was like "Woah he legit got a wound!" so I knew I had to put it in there. How could I not? hahaha Meg would be sure to notice ANYTHING different about him...especially on his face!

LovingBOBThePacific - Ahh it's one of your favorites!? So exciting! And yeah, I haven't experienced what you mentioned with your brother's friend, but I can imagine what it feels like. Aka not too fun haha. I actually have experienced similar situations in that I always seem to fall for my guy friends...but then I don't want to start anything because idk if they'd feel the same and I don't want to ruin the friendship we have. You have no idea how many times I've told myself that "I don't want to ruin the friendship." More times than I can count hahaha. Luckily for Meg, she was never romantically linked to Christian, but I think when you're that close to someone, it's bad either way. And I don't know whether saying I'm glad you shed a tear is polite of me haha. I guess I'm glad that the chapter was so moving that it caused you to shed a tear. That's better lol thanks for your review!

SparkELee - You snuck your review in just in time hahaha. I was expecting a double review with last chapter and this one so yay! I'm glad you thought it felt authentic. I thought about adding more description/facts but then I was like "why? This tells it enough." I'm known among my friends for telling ridiculously obnoxious stories where I remember absolutely every detail that happened, and I was determined to not do that with Meg's story haha. I think Lew was able to understand (as well as the readers) what exactly she went through and what it meant to her. Plus now it makes everything in previous chapters make a little more sense. And the Lew thing was difficult. In my first draft I had him just like "ok it's your job whatevs." but then I was like "If this was someone he really, really loved, would he be that casual about it?" So I'm glad you thought it sounded good! Thanks for the review!