Know, I know, I took forever, I know. But really, could you argue that this was my fault?
Split personality number 1: oh, yes, absolutely.
Split personality number 2: uh-huh.
Yes, well… that would be a safe argument… umm… well…
Just get on with it!
You know, I should really stop calling you guy's split personality number 1 and 2, you need a name.
I fully agree, but first just get on with the freaking chapter!
Alright, alright, just, stop yelling, I'm on it, Yesh!
Both: NOW!
xXxXxXxXx
The marauders were at breakfast. They were eating the same food as usual, except not as much, and they all seemed happy. Peter was about five seats down and was shooting them occasional glances. Lily Evans was down even further, but that didn't stop her from shooting the marauders glares. The marauders were oblivious to them both.
In fact, the marauders were in a perfect mood. They felt like the day was going to be great; they didn't know it was all about to go down hill.
James was just starting on his third stack of pancakes when the mail came in. there weren't as many as there usually was since term had only just started. There was a large, dark eagle owl sailing straight towards the marauders, with a red envelope on his talons.
James nudged Sirius who was just putting a bite in his mouth. "Mate," James said, pointing at the owl.
Sirius paled.
"You've got a howler," Remus said nervously when the owl landed.
Sirius took the letter. The owl's dark, evil looking eye was leering at Sirius, who was staring him down in an intense staring contest, even as the howler began to smoke in his hand.
Madelyn was looking around at the boys, "What's a howler?"
"You're about to find out," Sirius said as he opened it. "Be sure to plug your ears."
A prodigious screech filled the hall, making almost all of the students cover their ears, "SIRIUS ORION BLACK! HOW DARE YOU BEFOUL THE VERY NAME OF THE NOBLE AND ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK? GRYFFINDOR? YOU ARE A DISCRASE! YOU ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THAT FIFTHY WOMAN YOU CALL YOUR COUSIN! YOU ARE THIS CLOSE TO BEING DISOWNED, SO IF YOU DO ANYTHING THAT COULD ASHAME US, ANYTHING AT ALL AND YOU WILL BE OUT OF THIS FAMILY AND DAMNED FOR ALL WE CARE! DON'T EVEN BOTHER WITH COMING HOME THIS HOLIDAY. DO NOT DISHONOR OUR FAMILY. A GRYFFINDOR LIKE YOU IS A SCRAP OF SCUM ON OUR LIFE. DO ANYTHING, AND YOU WILL BE EASILY DISPOSED OF." And with that, the howler burst into flame.
James whipped around on the bench to glare at the Slytherins, who were looking very satisfied and smug with smirks on their faces. James turned back to the other marauders, "well, that went well!"
Sirius gave a small, dry laugh, "James, she doesn't even know about the potion or the detention yet!"
A minute later, the four marauders walked out of the great hall. All of them had glares for the Slytherins, but Madelyn, being the true American that she was, also sent them a middle finger before the doors shut behind them, leaving several scandalized faces in the hall from every house.
xXxXxXxXx
The marauders were at charms, their first class. Sitting in a row in the order of Remus, Madelyn, James, and Sirius, who was in the very back. Sirius passed a note up to James.
We need a nick-name for all of the teachers, but for filius flitwick, I've got nothing. - SB
James tapped his chin seriously thinking.
I dunno. Midget? –JP
James passed it up to Madelyn, who gave it to Remus, without reading any of it since she was in the middle of reading their entire text book. After quickly scanning it, Remus rolled his eyes.
That is incredibly offensive. You do realize that were actually supposed to respect the teachers, right. –RL
Remus passed the note back to Madelyn and continued to take notes about wand movements. Madelyn pulled her head out of the middle of the book to read the paper. A smile broke out on her face.
But where is the fun in that? I say… Filly Cheese Steak. You know, instead of Philly Cheese Steak. –MW
James took the note and turned around to face Sirius' desk, where they read it together. When done, they looked up at each other with a huh? Look.
"What?" James asked.
Sirius shook his head. Grabbing the paper, he crumpled it up and threw it with perfect aim at the back of Madelyn's head. She turned around, "what?"
"What's a Philly Cheese Steak?"
"A delicious sandwich found only in America. They're fabulous."
Sirius turned to look at James, "well, alright, that's a possibility."
xXxXxXxXx
Transfiguration was surprisingly smooth. Professor McGonagall settled with shooting the marauders a dirty look before teaching the lesson as if nothing had happened the day before. She spent the lesson teaching them how to change needles to grass.
"What's the point of this? There's no use for this spell," Madelyn whispered to James.
He had an evil grin, "well then I guess that's something the marauders will have to change come Friday."
xXxXxXxXx
After transfiguration, the marauders had a free period and were headed to the common room to sit in some very comfortable chairs. They had just reached the common room when they were met by an angry-looking red-head.
James' eyes kept flickering back-and-forth between the girl and the seats that all the other marauders had their eyes on, "oh, um… hi…um… Millie Evans… um… can you, like, move so we can like-"
"Excuse me?" the red-head looked furious now. "Okay, first of all, my name is Lily Evans, NOT Millie! And then, WHAT was that yesterday? Professor McGonagall is the head of our house! And you're just going to insult her like that and lose us points! We could lose the house cup because of you ridiculous little-" and on she went. Everyone who was actually in the common room was staring at the marauders and a certain red-head that was a newly named Lily Evans, who was screaming, and shouting, and shrieking, and just about any other loud noise coming from the mouth starting with an s that James could think of. It was starting to give James a headache.
When Lily paused for breath she made a mistake. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, making herself vulnerable and unaware. Sirius saw an opening and took it. Using the brilliant stiff-arm move, Sirius pushed lily straight over a couch back and onto the seat. He then took off towards his favorite chair, the other marauders quickly following suit.
They were all laughing with the rest of the common room when they collapsed onto the chairs.
Madelyn looked at Sirius, "you know, that wasn't very nice, but I have to admit, it was pretty funny to watch lily's face."
That caused another round of laughter before Sirius added; "it was almost as red as her hair!" everyone snorted and giggled.
"Hey, do you ever think we'll have an ordinary day here?" Remus asked.
James cocked his head to the side, "what do you mean, I thought this was ordinary." This caused more giggles.
"We will never be board!" Sirius drawled out loudly, throwing his head back.
Madelyn smiled, "still, I propose we make Monday a lazy day. We can still do pranks, but we have to be lazy."
"Amen to that," James said. "After all, Sirius needs his beauty sleep."
The marauders all burst out laughing.
xXxXxXxXx
The marauders were at their detention. All four of them were scrubbing the trophies in the trophy case in the Trophy Room. Wow, Sirius thought. Hogwarts sure does come up with very creative names.
After they were done with polishing, they began to clean the glass casing. Filch left them alone to do that. Jams looked around slyly before picking up a soaking, soapy sponge. James quickly took aim and launched it at Sirius with perfect aim hitting his target; right on the back of Sirius' head, snapping it forward. Right smack dab, in Sirius' hair.
Sirius slowly raised his head. His face was livid. James was on very dangerous ground. If it was anyone but his best mate, Sirius would have gone complete death star on that person for even thinking about messing with his hair. Sirius snapped is sponge off through the air to the side. Picking up his bucket of soapy water, Sirius walked up behind James, who turned around just in time for Sirius to watch his face as he dumped the entire bucket on James' head.
As the two friends glared at each other, they forgot to watch their back. You see, when Sirius threw his sponge to the side earlier, he didn't even notice where it went. The yellow sponge had flown with a fair amount of force to nail Remus in the side of the face. Poor Sirius.
Remus truly is a genius, Madelyn thought, watching. When the sponge had hit Remus, he had looked straight at the two friends glaring at each other, his eyes narrowed. Madelyn pushed her bucket over to Remus, smiling at him. He gave her an evil smile for a partner in crime.
Now Remus was standing at the side of James and Sirius. In both hands he had a bucket, and he swung them in such a way that the water splashed the back of the boy's heads and the bucket sides smacked them as well. When James and Sirius turned to look at their friend he had a satisfied and cocky smile on his face before putting the buckets over their heads like a mask. Remus then walked over to Madelyn, who had gotten two new buckets, and innocently cleaning.
It was then that all hell broke lose. Everyone was throwing sponges, hurling buckets, and whipping soap at each other. Madelyn somehow fond herself a hose and was owning everyone, but then all of the boys teamed up on her. Eventually things calmed down enough for them to hear Filch begin to walk towards the trophy room. The marauders quickly went out to meet him, making sure the door was shut.
"Well?" the caretaker's voice was somewhere between a wheeze and a growl as he eyed their soaking robes.
"It's clean, sir."
"Well can I be the judge of that?"
"Of course," the marauders all moved out of the way of the door. Filch walked in.
Water was dripping from the ceiling and running down the glass casing. Bubbles were filling the room in piles, mostly where the floor met the wall or casing. There was five inches on water covering the floor, causing the buckets to float and bob while the sponges drifted. Filch's face turned red and his body began to shake. He turned around and ripped the door open, with his mouth open ready to yell. But the marauders were already gone, with a trail of water behind them.
xXxXxXxXx
The marauders were hurrying down the hall with their shoes squeaking like crazy. They just couldn't stop laughing, or flicking water at each other for that matter.
"Okay, we need to find a Slytherin to follow, remember?" Madelyn said when she caught her breath.
They went down to the dungeons. It was hard to find any students, since it was after curfew, but they eventually did find a Slytherin fourth- year, who eventually led then to a portrait.
"Higher-race." Was the password.
Sirius settled his weight on his heals letting out his breath. All of the sneaking around was hard and annoying. They were all pretty good, but they still had some close calls. "Alright, now let's go back to the common room, I'm tired."
They had taken off their shoes to keep from making noise, so after putting them back on, they began to head to their common room.
They had gone up a few levels when they herd Filch's wheezing behind them. The marauders quickly dove behind a tapestry.
"Sniff around, my sweet."
Oh, shit, he's got a cat! Sirius thought. We're doomed.
And they would have been, if not for a crash coming down the stairs to the floor they were all on. What looked like a big wood box in the dark came to a stop next to filch.
"Peeves!" the caretaker shouted. "This vanishing cabinet in incredibly valuable! I'll have your head for this. The headmaster will deal with you and let me get rid of you, mark my words!"
An ancient looking large jar was thrown at him from mid-air in response.
Cursing, the man walked away to what the marauders assumed was the headmaster's office.
Remus walked out from behind the tapestry, "Peeves, he's the school poltergeist. We're lucky he was here."
Sirius followed Madelyn out, "that guy is pervertedly in love with his cat, and yet he's in a school full of children. I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking when he hired him."
Madelyn was about to respond when James voice came from behind the tapestry, "hey, guys check this out."
They came back behind the curtain. "I think we just found a secret passageway," he continued.
"Whoa."
"Come on, let's check it out!"
Remus stopped James, "hold on a minute, why now, we have no light don't know where it does, or how long we'll be down there."
Sirius spoke around a yawn, "yeah, I'm all for checking it out, but I'm tired. Cant we go to bed?"
James' face was falling, so Madelyn said comfortingly, "we have a free period tomorrow morning and Thursday afternoon."
James sighed in defeat. "This is the only time we can blow something like this off."
xXxXxXxXx
TADAA! What do you think?
Very nice, can't wait for the next!
Where did the hose come from?
What? Just because they're inside doesn't mean there aren't hoses.
… Whatever. Ok, now actually listen to me, you need more action! Seriously!
Sirius- well then, it's a good thing I'm here then!
AHH! HOW DO, YOU KEEP GETTING IN? SERIOUSLY?
S- Well, how else would I have gotten in?
James- I thought you had already established this. By the way mate, that's a really old joke. A really old, really bad joke.
Geez, this is what tells me I am really losing it, when I'm arguing with myself, and screaming at some people with British accents. I can't even remember what I needed to say…
Remus- why don't you let me help with that?
Oh, hi, Remus, how are you?
J- oh, sure, Remus gets a polite voice with good manners, but we only get angry-
QUIET!
R-… I'm good thanks, and you were going to explain to ice-
Oh yeah! Ok, ice, and I'm only going to call you that because I'm lazy, but I know I promised to send you this, but I couldn't FIND you. And I know I messed up somewhere in this bigger-than-usual chapter, so I hope you are reading this. I saw your account before, but Google won't let me near it anymore, so…
And nobody better even DARE mention bing, because that thing sucks, and won't let us find anything.
S- Hey, why does the chapter make james seam more macho and bad-ass than-
ENOUGH! I AM MORE KICK-ASS THAN ANY OF YOU- YOU WHO NOW STAND BEFORE ME IN ALL MY BAD-ASS GLORY! THE ONLY ONE OF YOU WHO EVEN COME CLOSE TO ME IS REMUS, SO SHUT UP!
…
…
…
#2, take it away.
Hello, everyone, I am west's mare feminine side with manners, who is also the bitchy part. #1 is the down-right tomboy who used to rule this place, and no one knew me. But recently I have made myself known. So if you would be so kind, please click on that lovely-
You forgot to add that I'm the bad-ass part as well, and the button isn't lovely, it's just awesomely blue. So you-
Guys! Just review, alright? Spare me them!
Bye!
Love ya!