A/N I just want to thank you all for your reviews. These mean a lot to me.
Disclaimer I don't own it...but i live in hope...unless the Mayans were right, lol. ;P
Chapter 6
Jimmy sat at the table whilst Jackson made Jethro and Jimmy pancakes, Jethro sat with his coffee reading the paper relaxing while Jimmy drank his coffee glancing at both of them.
Gibbs could feel the anxiety coming off Jimmy, but was proud of the way he was trying to hide it so he could at least try to mend the gap between him and his father.
Jimmy reached into his bag and slipped a medical book out onto the table, glancing in his fathers direction to see if he had noticed and realizing he hadn't he slowly opened it and started reading, he had an exam the next day and knew it was really important that he got the study time in.
Jackson put the plates and a stack of pancakes on the table.
"Here you go boys." He said.
Gibbs looked up grinned and grabbed a couple of pancakes. "Mm. Nice dad, thanks." He said.
Jackson looked over at his youngest, just as he remembered; Jimmy had his head in a book. He pushed down the wave of anger at his son ignoring him, knowing that was the wrong course of action to take if he wanted to repair his relationship with his son.
He coughed quietly trying to get his attention, "Jimmy your pancakes," He said. Jimmy still engrossed didn't answer.
Gibbs raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything he wanted to see how his father handled it and what Jimmy's reaction would be.
"JAMES!" Jackson raised his voice and slammed his hand down on the table, "Put that damn book down and eat!" he snapped.
Jimmy jumped and swiped the book into the bag, "Sorry Sir." He said automatically. He didn't look at his father but grabbed the plate wolfed down the pancakes and quickly cleared the table without even thinking.
He washed up the plates and grabbed his bag. "Gotta go to work." He mumbled and headed for the door.
"Dad!" Gibbs said and walked up to Jimmy, "No you don't you've been given the next two days off."
"But…." Jimmy floundered. "I have an exam; I should get to the library to study. You and Jack…err, Dad need some time alone."
"No, I do know you need time to study, and you'll have it I promise, I'll even take you to your exam myself. But I don't want you leaving here upset." Gibbs said.
"I tried Jethro; I'm not good enough I couldn't even make it through our first meal without messing up." Jimmy said staring at the floor.
"Ya didn't mess up Jam...Jimmy I did," Jackson said, "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, I thought you were ignoring me,"
"I didn't mean to Sir, I was trying to study for my exam."
Jackson sat on the sofa, "So tell me about your medical school how's it going."
Jimmy sat down and slowly started to tell his dad about medical school, how he had passed a scholarship exam to get in, what his classes were like, the fact he was top of his class with a 4.0 GPA and how he loved working with Dr. Mallard. He had started hesitantly at first and got more and more animated as he went on.
Jackson listened to all the information in awe, his youngest son was a lot brighter than he'd ever given him credit for. As Jimmy, talked Jackson replayed some of the conversations he'd had with his youngest son over the years, remembering how James had come in excited by something at school and Jackson had systematically managed to crush his dreams.
The happier Jimmy got the sadder Jackson's face became until Jimmy looked up and stopped talking.
"I'm sorry, I must be boring you." Jimmy said.
"Jimmy no, in fact you have made me very proud, considering all the times I have crushed your dreams or put obstacles in the way of everything you wanted and yet in spite of me you have become this accomplished man."
Jimmy grinned, "Really, you're proud of me?"
"Yeah, my stupid pride got in the way, I never told you and I should have. Can you forgive me?" He asked.
"I'd like to try." Jimmy said. His phone beeped and he looked at it. "Jethro, do you have an internet connection I can use?" He asked.
"Yes actually, I had it put in a few months ago." Jethro smirked he knew his reputation for being a bit archaic when it came to technology would go down the pan when the others found out.
"Great." He got his laptop out of his bag, "I need to email my mom, and she'll be waiting for me."
Jackson bristled but didn't say anything.
"Tell her I said hi?" Gibbs said.
"Will do" Jimmy smiled as he sent his mom his 'hi I'm online' email.
Half an hour later, scowling Jimmy came off the computer.
"Are you ok?" Gibbs asked concerned.
"No, Mom went ballistic that I was staying here with dad, she told me not to email her again until he had gone and that she wasn't gonna pick up the pieces again."
"Oh Jimmy," Jethro tried to console his brother.
"I wish I knew what the problem was between them, and why it's my fault for loving either of them!" Jimmy said sinking onto the chair with his head in his hands.
Jimmy sighed he really loved both his parents despite being afraid of his father all he had ever wanted was to have a real family, both his parents getting on and not having to fight with each other, although he knew his mom could go into Jackson's store without any argument as long as they didn't talk about him.
Jimmy turned to his father, "What did I do? What was so wrong that both of you hate me and hate talking to each other about me!"
Jackson sat across the table from his youngest son, "Your mother neglected you as much as I did, but in a different way, she was punished for it and I was not. Not legally anyway and she's always hated me for it."
Jimmy looked up defiantly "My mother loved me she told me that you called child services on her."
"No son, you were found walking to Stillwater from your mothers by the sheriff, you only had pants and a t-shirt on and it was December, you were ten. When the sheriff got to your momma's she was…." Jackson stopped.
"I know what she was," Jimmy snapped, "It was an accident she didn't mean to take that many pills, she'd been working and she got confused, you could have helped her. You could have married her. You made my life hell. Telling me I was just like her."
"I know I'm sorry," Jackson said. "But you should know neither one of us hated you, we hated each other, she hated me for not marrying her and for putting my grieving for Shannon and Kelly ahead of my feelings for her."
Jimmy looked confused, "Who are Shannon and Kelly another girlfriend and daughter?" He asked.
"My wife and daughter," Jethro said "They died while I was on active duty, I backed away from Dad and anyone who tried to comfort me, I was mad at dad as he brought a date to their funeral."
"That was Eunice, she was helping me keep it together, she didn't deserve what I did to her but when you wouldn't talk to me Leroy, I went home with her I cried and talked and….well….James, and you were conceived that night. I thought you would figure it out Leroy, I thought that was why you wouldn't talk to me." Jackson said. "And that's why I got angry, angry with myself for what I had done and every time I looked at you I was reminded of my folly and in my anger forgot that you were just a boy and that you didn't ask to be born and was not responsible for any of this"
"Do you think you and mom will ever be civil to each other?" Jimmy asked.
"I think we are as civil as we are gonna get son, I talk to her and I serve her in my store, but until she understands that her treatment of you as a child was not my fault I believe we are as close as we are ever going to get."
"Did you love her?" Jimmy asked quietly.
"James, Anne, Leroy's mother was and always will be the great love of my life, but Eunice… yes for a while I loved her. I loved her beauty, her eyes, which you have. I loved her empathy and compassion. I hurt when I saw what she had become and wished I had helped her more."
"What did she become?" Gibbs asked confused at being out of the loop.
"My mother is a recovering drug addict." Jimmy said quietly "She was addicted to anti depressants and painkillers. But she's got help over the last few years and is now 18 months clean."
Gibbs saw the hurt and disappointment Jimmy had stored there. "If she hadn't been maybe my life would have been different, Listen Jethro. I need to study for this exam just please can we get back to this later if we must."
Gibbs nodded, "Ok Exam first talk later, and just so you know after your exam, it's back to work. Ducky's order." He grinned.
Eunice Palmer looked at the screen with the same scowl on her face her son had in Alexandria.
"There is no way I'm letting that man, turn my son against me again." She said.
"You ok Hun?" The man sitting next to her said.
"No, Jackson's got his hooks into my Jimmy again… He's my son not his." She stood up, walked into her bedroom, and grabbed a bag.
"You needing a little summit to go with." The man slurred while taking a draw on his marijuana cigarette.
She smiled at him, "No Bruce I'm clean."
"You weren't yesterday, here…" He threw her a small packet, "Just in case."
"That's why I love you, you always think of me." She popped it in her bag and carried on packing.
I'm coming for you son. She thought as she walked out of her front door.